GAY DATE: "If you are a sports fan, you're disqualified"

  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16404

    Sep 09, 2017 1:56 AM GMT
    So a friend of mine called me and was just irate on Wednesday and wanted to know what I thought about his experience with a guy on a first date. Apparently it was going well when my friend started talking about the upcoming college football season. He isn't a crazy fan, but enjoy both college and professional football. Apparently the date told him that if he was a sports fan, "he's disqualified as a date".
    My friend was shocked and an awkward silence insued. Finally the date said something to the fact that the date wasn't going well and he was going to leave. My friend just sat there bewildered.

    Of course I just said it was fortunate that he found out immediately. I never really understand these guys that have no flexibility. The great guy I see talks about some of the antique dishes he collects and it really does nothing for me, but I'm always very polite and can probably learn something in the process. Thoughts? How are you with your dates??
  • Happenis

    Posts: 383

    Sep 09, 2017 2:03 AM GMT
    Lol, back when I was single then I had some weird requirements too. I REFUSED to date a guy who didn't smoke weed (wasn't looking for a straight-up pothead but a guy that I could at least occasionally smoke with); but if you didn't smoke weed at all then you were instantly disqualified.

    As for the sports fan thing, I can sorta see the other guys perspective; though I agree that he was kinda judgemental. In not a sports fan but it would kinda annoy me when a random guy would walk up to me and talk about sports stuff. Lol, I know nothing about what score Shaquille O'Neal got at half-time during the PGA600 play-offs last night. Though, there is something uniquely masculine and sexy about a sports fan. I hate watching sports but I love playing sports.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16404

    Sep 09, 2017 2:26 AM GMT
    Happenis saidLol, back when I was single then I had some weird requirements too. I REFUSED to date a guy who didn't smoke weed (wasn't looking for a straight-up pothead but a guy that I could at least occasionally smoke with); but if you didn't smoke weed at all then you were instantly disqualified.
    .


    Interesting, I'm sure I wouldn't have considered dating someone who DID smoke weed. lol

    Fortunately these days, there are a number of things that would rank in front of that and I consider myself pretty flexible, but being the health/ fitness nut, I would probably wonder.
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    Sep 09, 2017 2:29 AM GMT
    HndsmKansan said
    Of course I just said it was fortunate that he found out immediately. I never really understand these guys that have no flexibility. The great guy I see talks about some of the antique dishes he collects and it really does nothing for me, but I'm always very polite and can probably learn something in the process. Thoughts? How are you with your dates??

    Yep, if the ship is gonna sink the sooner you know it the better. I always considered dating like a test drive of a new car. For both of us, quite frankly. We all know we're judging and being judged.

    But I wouldn't reject a car solely because I didn't like the upholstery stitching. Or a guy because he had an interest in sports, or some other single thing in which I had no interest myself, or even had a dislike. How petty! I'd still want to get to know more about him.

    And that's why we often throw various subjects into the conversation on a first date. What does he like? What are his interests? What might be our common likes and dislikes? Here are the things that I like.

    But I was raised to have at least a semblance of good manners, or so I hope. Even if the guy said he was a Trump fanatic, thought that psycho is our greatest President ever, God's gift to the United States (as some RJ members proclaim), I'd be polite. Sure, my mind would already be made up, and dump this idiotic loser. But not have some kind of confrontation during a date, and humiliate us both. I'd tough it out. After all, I would have agreed to having the date in the first place.

    No, that guy was crude and classless. Sorry your friend ran across one of the poorer examples of social graces in our society today.
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    Sep 09, 2017 2:53 AM GMT
    " if he was a sports fan, he's disqualified as a date". Must be a dismal existence for this dude.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 09, 2017 3:00 AM GMT
    bon_pan said" if he was a sports fan, he's disqualified as a date". Must be a dismal existence for this dude.


    Truly.

  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 17210

    Sep 09, 2017 11:51 AM GMT
    bon_pan said" if he was a sports fan, he's disqualified as a date". Must be a dismal existence for this dude.
    Now this is something that you and I can finally agree on.
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    Sep 09, 2017 2:14 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan
    Apparently it was going well when my friend started talking about the upcoming college football season. He isn't a crazy fan, but enjoy both college and professional football. Apparently the date told him that if he was a sports fan, "he's disqualified as a date".

    Charts and Map Astrologer
    Yes, disqualify anyone who's watching more than 2 hours of football per week. I've seen football fan mentality up close.

    Football is ubiquitous. I fulfill my social obligation to it and that's it.

    If you're into college football, I would think you're into two layers of football, college and NFL, which is too much football for me.

    I understand there is diversity of manhood but 90 minutes of football plus 30 minutes of highlights and analysis is it.

    HndsmKansan
    The great guy I see talks about some of the antique dishes he collects and it really does nothing for me, but I'm always very polite and can probably learn something in the process.

    Charts and Map Astrologer
    Antique dish collectors do not have the baggage football players have: privilege-and-spoiled, bullies, hostile, concussions, Baylor.
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    Sep 09, 2017 2:16 PM GMT
    Google: Baylor football rape
  • HarborFighter

    Posts: 63

    Sep 09, 2017 3:17 PM GMT
    For GOD'S sake. The name of this site is REAL JOCK.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 09, 2017 3:38 PM GMT
    I am big fan of tennis and a host of other sports.
  • Happenis

    Posts: 383

    Sep 09, 2017 3:47 PM GMT
    I love *playing* sports. I just can't get into *watching* it... unless its nude oil wrestling lol
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4883

    Sep 09, 2017 5:03 PM GMT
    I think a lot of gay guys feel aversion to sports because they either weren't interested in it as a kid, weren't any good at it as a kid, felt cowed by juvenile masculinity and especially locker room bragging (usually sexual fantasy), or simply a need to find less group activities because they felt "different." So they covered it with an aggressive anti-sports attitude. (I think they're called Hipsters now, lol.) Many get over it as adults because they find other things they're good at and even sometimes a sport they're not half-bad at. But sometimes the resentment rises. I feel that way sometimes about fantasy football because though I like football, I get sick of the hyper involvement in every little stat that then warps who and why you root for a team.

    So your buddy ran into someone who was damaged at some point and chose to become aggressive about it. Sounds like a wounded guy.
  • bro4bro

    Posts: 1646

    Sep 09, 2017 8:57 PM GMT
    ChartsAndMapAstrologer saidYes, disqualify anyone who's watching more than 2 hours of football per week.


    Uh, dude? You do realize a single football game is longer than two hours, right?

    Nah, never mind. I'm sure you don't.
  • k15thelement

    Posts: 445

    Sep 09, 2017 9:27 PM GMT
    Destinharbor saidI think a lot of gay guys feel aversion to sports because they either weren't interested in it as a kid, weren't any good at it as a kid, felt cowed by juvenile masculinity and especially locker room bragging (usually sexual fantasy), or simply a need to find less group activities because they felt "different." So they covered it with an aggressive anti-sports attitude.


    Good point!
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 17210

    Sep 09, 2017 11:17 PM GMT
    HarborFighter saidFor GOD'S sake. The name of this site is REAL JOCK.
    Thank you!
    +1
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 10, 2017 1:49 AM GMT
    Sep 09, 2017 8:57 PM GMT

    ChartsAndMapAstrologer said

    Yes, disqualify anyone who's watching more than 2 hours of football per week.

    Bro4Bro
    Uh, dude? You do realize a single football game is longer than two hours, right?

    Nah, never mind. I'm sure you don't.

    ChartsAndMapAstrologer
    I do realize that I am setting a time limit less than a full game. I do not like football. Even if I give in and don't care about another person watching a full game, I'm not going to watch a full game.

    "Hey Bae, I'll catch up with you after half time. I'll do the dishes, or the laundry, or hang out on RealJock, or watch Netflix/Hulu/YouTube, or go to the health club, or work on my website, or work on my book, or practice piano and voice, or go put gas in the car for tomorrow, or vacuum, or get on the phone and talk to friends, or get on Facebook, or do some Tai Chi or Chi Gong / Qigong, or work on Astrology, or anything but the last thing in the world I want to do: watch football."

    If we were rich enough and we had our own TheraSauna Far Infrared sauna, I would go sit in the sauna but not watch football.
  • thisguy023

    Posts: 214

    Sep 10, 2017 11:23 AM GMT
    When my husband came out, he was expecting to escape his sports obsessed family. Then he met me. I'm a fanatic soccer fan and like to watch as many games as possible. We've found a way to deal with it.
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1222

    Sep 10, 2017 10:10 PM GMT
    Sorry but that kind of behavior is all but child's play/tantrum! my favorite physical activity is hiking and mountain climbing; I am an outdoor's enthusiast, nature, and animal lover. If the weather or time does not permit doing those activities, then I settle for long distance walking. I need my daily dose of me time with the natural world. Having said that I have plenty of dates who do not.

    When I go on a date my main goal is finding someone with a good heart; and if he doesn't like to do any of my physical activities that is ok, too! I doubt if an intelligent and level headed gay man will turn down a good hearted person!
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    Sep 11, 2017 12:12 PM GMT
    I go through this same shit with rugby. Everyone wants to fantasize the game of rugby, but no one wants to watch it with me or come see me play. I recently sent a guy home because he wouldn't stop complaining during the NZ Blacks game. We still talk but he has to allow me free time to watch and play.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16404

    Sep 11, 2017 4:16 PM GMT
    TomatoTomato saidI go through this same shit with rugby. Everyone wants to fantasize the game of rugby, but no one wants to watch it with me or come see me play. I recently sent a guy home because he wouldn't stop complaining during the NZ Blacks game. We still talk but he has to allow me free time to watch and play.


    Believe it or not, I have a "Blacks" polo shirt in my closet.. That's awesome!
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4883

    Sep 11, 2017 4:17 PM GMT
    TomatoTomato saidI go through this same shit with rugby. Everyone wants to fantasize the game of rugby, but no one wants to watch it with me or come see me play. I recently sent a guy home because he wouldn't stop complaining during the NZ Blacks game. We still talk but he has to allow me free time to watch and play.

    A lot of Americans don't like rugby because they don't understand the rules. I was that way until this summer when a friend who's into it visited for a while and we found some games on the new Olympic channel. It always looked stupid that these big guys could get in a pile and then the ball just pop out of the pile. Now I understand how and why. Helps to understand the rules. You should try explaining it.
  • interesting

    Posts: 755

    Sep 11, 2017 7:58 PM GMT
    While the date was crude, I kind of appreciate the frankness, from the bit of info, it sounds like the guy was just looking to get out of it and said it in the moment. And I prefer if my date would do that, yes, it's jarring, but I don't want to be:

    A. led on thinking everything was great, and gets rejected in the end
    B. being miserable and trying to get out of this myself and ended up coming off as the rude one

    Not a fan of football at all, but if I'm on a date with the guy who's into it, and he's telling me things, I would make an attempt to know what's going on. Now if he's a soccer fan, we can go on and on and on about it.

    I've watched a few rugby matches, and I see more appeal than football.
  • Nakedman1969

    Posts: 283

    Sep 11, 2017 8:27 PM GMT
    If my boyfriend, partner don't like me watching NASCAR, and baseball tough!!!!
  • Ubeaut

    Posts: 197

    Oct 11, 2017 11:26 AM GMT
    I had a brief flingette with a 'sports fan'. First time he visited my place for dinner, first thing he did was turn on the television to watch the footy, the date consisted of him demanding I bring him beers while he was a a couch potato.

    I play sport and I'm happy enough to attend a game with a team supporter, but couch potatoes who aren't team supporters.... it's a bit of a minus for me.