I hate being gay....

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 21, 2009 2:49 PM GMT
    Because I get lumped into the same category as these kids....



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 21, 2009 2:54 PM GMT
    I watched up 'til just before the big "shocking" announcement.

    The only thing more shocking is that anyone sits thru that show.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Feb 21, 2009 3:33 PM GMT
    Matt,
    To begin with your hot and your personality and attitude put you in a whole different place than those you cited. I don't put myself there (just because of our sexual preference). I'd encourage you to do the same.


    After listening to this program, I ended up laughing because of such pathetic comments (you really have to laugh). They aren't gay, they just have some issues.... a woman's organs as a "cave"...LOL
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    Feb 21, 2009 3:51 PM GMT
    Dear swishy self-loathing emo-boi,

    Please get a good therapist and find some self-acceptance. Either that, or get a short haircut and a voice coach and start hitting the gym.
  • kaccioto

    Posts: 284

    Feb 21, 2009 4:09 PM GMT


    on cultural mainstream acceptance, which is now overhyped, take it from russ -

    'if it weren't for them, i wouldn't be here. what the hell did they need me for if they were open-minded enough to allow this cultural phenomena to be part of their make-up? my independence is because they didn't accept me.'

    charge the elephant in the room rent, instead of spending a lifetime trying to kick it out, then in time you'll have enough to buy a larger empty room. keep the old one in it's place as personal redemption, or better yet, sitting equity.
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    Feb 21, 2009 4:44 PM GMT
    Join gay clubs or gay sports teams. That's where the good gays go when they want to be social. When you go to gay bars, you find guys that are either overly social, alcoholic or they're with friends and already occupied. You will get the occasional good guy that hits the bar alone hoping to meet someone, but my personal experience is that normal guys only do that when their hormones are running high, and so they wont be on their best behavior. Moving to a bigger city gives you a better chance to find groups that fit you socially.

    Opinions of gay society are based on the most visible groups of the minority, but the visible groups of the gay community are actually a minority within the minority. It's like an iceberg, you only see the tip, but 5/6ths of the whole is submerged where you don't see it. There are many many normal good gays that share the ideals of love and family, they just don't usually go to the bars.

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    Feb 21, 2009 5:12 PM GMT
    I think it's sad that so many gay men have become jaded to this important issue still being faced by men out there. I have to admit, that the first kid Tyra spoke to bothered me, but I understood that he was only 19. After watching the whole episode, I think Tyra did a great job with this piece. She revealed the fallacy of the homosexual making a conscious decision to go straight. This is an important message to get across to the straight community.

    While I understand how easy it is to be put off by the whole "I hate myself for being gay" attitude, it is a real problem in our society. These guys need help getting beyond this, and they are not getting it from the straight community. They should be able to get some understanding and assistance from the gay community. Many of these young men are the reason for the high suicide rates in the gay population. We need to stop judging them, and be willing to work with them to get beyond their self hatred. I think it is great that there are many guys who either have not gone through this or have dealt with it on their own. However, not everyone is as lucky, and they need our help not our derision.

    I've read other forums where RJ members have said that they are not second class citizens or discriminated against, as evidence of how far we've come and why we don't need marriage. Yet clearly these guys have been greatly impacted by society's treatment of homosexuals. Each of the guys on the Tyra show seemed to think that being gay meant that you had to live a promiscuous lifestyle, and not be accepted by the heterosexual community. When gay guys at RJ say why do we need marriage, it's because being accepted as equals in straight society goes a long way towards building self confidence. It sends a clear statement that we are not less than, but equal to our straight families. It also validates the unions for those of us who choose to partner with someone for life.






  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 14345

    Feb 21, 2009 5:26 PM GMT
    I think the trouble that causes some gay guys to hate themselves because of their natural sexual orientation is the fact that negative stereotypes caused by too much attention on drag queens, femmes, and partying alcoholics has given all of us an undeserved, horrible image in the eyes of a large part of the American mainstream. Moving to a major city is not necessary for a gay man to be happy. There are several gays and lesbians that prefer the rural/small town environment. It is what we make of life. But the gay community has a lot of work cut out to change its still negative image. It is time to get away from the gay bar scene and get out and pursue a variety of manly interests.
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    Feb 21, 2009 5:35 PM GMT
    i have brown hair, two legs, balls, arms and a dick to go with my head. unfortunately i get lumped in with the rest of the brown headed humans of this planet that really don't match up with me ;-)

    don't put any stock in the association of gay because of those the media notices. besides, you're far more attractive than -every- drag queen.
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    Feb 21, 2009 6:26 PM GMT
    I think it is sad that we as a minority group that is discriminated against, cannot stop discriminating. These people may not conform to your ideas of "normality" or "decency" but they are people who have a right to their own lifestyles. Why should they conform to what you deem as acceptable behavior? Isn't that what heterosexual America wants you to do, and become straight?

    Putting on a "straight" face is not going to make them love you anymore. They will begin to respect you when you can stand up and be proud of who you are as an individual. When you begin to respect all forms of life, people will finally start to realize that we are not all the same and deserve the right to be who we are. We don't all have to be drag queens, femmes and late night party goers, but let those who are be who they are. When you need to tear down other people to make yourself look better, you are no better than those who seek to force us back into our closets. Prejudice only begets prejudice.

    I don't want to live in a world where we are all forced to look and act the same in order to be accepted. I want to live in a world where people respect each others differences. I have never worn a dress or makeup but I respect those who want to do so. My boyfriend and I could easily pass in straight America, but I don't want to be part of a community that is hating people for being different. That kind of community is only a heart beat away from discriminating against me for being short or brown eyed.

    As for alcoholics, well they exist in both the hetero and homo communities. This is not unique to the gay scene. Anyone who has a problem with alcohol needs help and is not really a role model for anyone until they are able to resolve their problems.

    I'm sorry if I'm not understanding your message roadbikeRob, but it sounds like another jab at the femmes and drags. When you say that these groups are a negative stereotype, it seems to imply that just being who they are is a problem.

    roadbikeRob saidI think the trouble that causes some gay guys to hate themselves because of their natural sexual orientation is the fact that negative stereotypes caused by too much attention on drag queens, femmes, and partying alcoholics has given all of us an undeserved, horrible image in the eyes of a large part of the American mainstream. Moving to a major city is not necessary for a gay man to be happy. There are several gays and lesbians that prefer the rural/small town environment. It is what we make of life. But the gay community has a lot of work cut out to change its still negative image. It is time to get away from the gay bar scene and get out and pursue a variety of manly interests.
  • styrgan

    Posts: 2017

    Feb 21, 2009 8:31 PM GMT
    And you guys wonder why I'm so mean to these guys when they show their face on these forums...

    I feel validated somehow... I just wish it wasn't by Tyra Banks.
  • Delivis

    Posts: 2332

    Feb 21, 2009 10:20 PM GMT
    Poor kids.
  • reload16

    Posts: 267

    Feb 21, 2009 10:41 PM GMT
    why couldn't they have had examples of non stereotypical gay men (who are not self haters)?

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    Feb 21, 2009 11:11 PM GMT

    Being gay is like being anything else or belonging to any other group: there are bound to be others in the group who project an image that doesn't depict you (or most of the group, for that matter).

    I also think BurnF hit the nail on the head.
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    Feb 21, 2009 11:58 PM GMT
    The title of this topic is absolutely wrong. It should be:

    "I HATE SOCIETY AND WHAT ITS STEREOTYPES DO TO GAY GUYS"
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    Feb 22, 2009 12:05 AM GMT
    Matterych saidBecause I get lumped into the same category as these kids....



    Kind of like how Kyle Broflovski feels when his stereotypically Jewish cousin, Kyle Schwartz, has to live with him for a while.
  • reload16

    Posts: 267

    Feb 22, 2009 12:59 AM GMT
    flieslikeabeagle said
    Being gay is like being anything else or belonging to any other group: there are bound to be others in the group who project an image that doesn't depict you (or most of the group, for that matter).

    I also think BurnF hit the nail on the head.


    Yeah I agree. nicely said!
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    Feb 22, 2009 1:21 AM GMT


    Hmmm Taking cues from burnf and creyente's posts, I wonder what the first guy (vid) would think had he attended the Realjock San Fran boot-camps this last January?
    Something like that could present him with a few more examples of gay men that aren't "Will & Grace" fare. And the real thing rather than a TV show.

    The second guy, given the opportunity set up for him, sailed along, got family support (his Aunt, right?) and bonus, made a friend to show him around.

    ...interesting.

    Encouragement over criticism?


    -Doug
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    Jun 21, 2010 1:36 AM GMT
    I just saw this... well the first 4 minutes- these gays are annoying. I couldn't watch much more of it. (It was recommended to me by youtube...) hmmm icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 21, 2010 3:04 AM GMT
    Well, you're human and are in the same category as them for that, too. Do you hate being human?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 21, 2010 3:26 AM GMT
    Be who and what you are and want to be.

    Life's too short to be anything else.