Weird love triangle - My heart is in shambles right now

  • Sexynripped

    Posts: 45

    Sep 23, 2017 7:04 PM GMT
    My heart is a shambles right now. I'm totally in love with a guy 50 miles away in NJ (Guy 1) who I met online and who has said repeatedly that he loves me. But there’s a big problem. For over a year now, I've been writing to this other guy (Guy 2) who has also repeatedly told me he loves me too, but never took action to show it. A few months ago, Guy 2 moved to Florida due to a situation beyond his control and I’ve been in touch with him the whole time.

    Recently I found out that, unbeknownst to me, Guy 1 and Guy 2 were lovers for 2 years while Guy 2 was married and the other Guy 1 was kept in the dark about it. Guy 1 broke it off at that point and was totally heartbroken. But when Guy 2 recently came back to NJ from FL to escape Irma and found out that Guy 1 was in love with me (Guy 2 told me that Guy 1 would talk about me over and over and over again), he made a play for Guy 1 (who didn’t go for it) and then told me that he loved only me. Now, Guy 2 is once again making a play to get back together with Guy 1 and neither has talked to me for 4 days while they talk it out --- and I'm 50 mi. away from them.

    Any advice?
  • mybud

    Posts: 13350

    Sep 23, 2017 7:27 PM GMT
    Dude...You have become the spoils of war...left to the winner to decide your very existence...If I were you, I'd drop them all and move on...but your you and need to decide that. Second, if its been four days and you haven't heard anything from either of them....they're probably back together.....IMO.
  • Happenis

    Posts: 362

    Sep 23, 2017 7:39 PM GMT
    Sexynripped saidMy heart is a shambles right now. I'm totally in love with a guy 50 miles away in NJ (Guy 1) who I met online and who has said repeatedly that he loves me. But there’s a big problem. For over a year now, I've been writing to this other guy (Guy 2) who has also repeatedly told me he loves me too, but never took action to show it. A few months ago, Guy 2 moved to Florida due to a situation beyond his control and I’ve been in touch with him the whole time.

    Recently I found out that, unbeknownst to me, Guy 1 and Guy 2 were lovers for 2 years while Guy 2 was married and the other Guy 1 was kept in the dark about it. Guy 1 broke it off at that point and was totally heartbroken. But when Guy 2 recently came back to NJ from FL to escape Irma and found out that Guy 1 was in love with me (Guy 2 told me that Guy 1 would talk about me over and over and over again), he made a play for Guy 1 (who didn’t go for it) and then told me that he loved only me. Now, Guy 2 is once again making a play to get back together with Guy 1 and neither has talked to me for 4 days while they talk it out --- and I'm 50 mi. away from them.

    Meanwhile, I’m under so much stress waiting that I’m taking sleeping pills at night. Any advice?


    This is what's scary about long distance dating; you really don't know what the other people are doing. Can you confirm any of this information you're hearing as fact?

    Anyways, it's clear that neither of you three know what you truly want for yourselves so I wouldn't advise any of you to start a relationship. You don't wanna build a relationship with a shaky foundation; you'd be setting yourself up for disaster.

    I would say to just feel things through for the next few days/weeks and see what information that you discover. Don't make any rash decisions until you know for sure what you want to do and what the other people's true intentions are!
  • Sexynripped

    Posts: 45

    Sep 23, 2017 7:46 PM GMT
    Thank you, Happenis. You definitely understand the situation and I feel much better now. When I hear back from one of them, I will suggest that we all sit down together and talk this out. It's the feeling of being left out and powerless right now that is stressing me out. But, I will fight!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 23, 2017 8:14 PM GMT
    mybud said
    Dude...You have become the spoils of war...left to the winner to decide your very existence...If I were you, I'd drop them all and move on...but your you and need to decide that. Second, if its been four days and you haven't heard anything from either of them....they're probably back together.....IMO.

    A wonderful observation regarding spoils of war. Certainly being kicked around like a soccer ball.

    I have no idea if they're back together permanently, but could well be shacking up to see if their old "magic" will return.

    But I'm struck by the coincidence of the players here. It's almost out of Dickens, aside from the principles being gay. Did Guys 1 & 2 share information about our OP?

    It just seems a little weird to me, and I'd be wary of both these guys. Neither of them has behaved well, might be time to consider cutting bait and casting lines elsewhere.
  • mybud

    Posts: 13350

    Sep 23, 2017 8:34 PM GMT
    Sexynripped saidThank you, Happenis. You definitely understand the situation and I feel much better now. When I hear back from one of them, I will suggest that we all sit down together and talk this out. It's the feeling of being left out and powerless right now that is stressing me out. But, I will fight!
    Fight...For what????? Seconds?...I don't play that...If you roll with me...Me is what you get...Good luck.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 23, 2017 9:46 PM GMT
    Sexynripped saidMy heart is a shambles right now. I'm totally in love with a guy 50 miles away in NJ (Guy 1) who I met online and who has said repeatedly that he loves me. But there’s a big problem. For over a year now, I've been writing to this other guy (Guy 2) who has also repeatedly told me he loves me too, but never took action to show it. A few months ago, Guy 2 moved to Florida due to a situation beyond his control and I’ve been in touch with him the whole time.

    Recently I found out that, unbeknownst to me, Guy 1 and Guy 2 were lovers for 2 years while Guy 2 was married and the other Guy 1 was kept in the dark about it. Guy 1 broke it off at that point and was totally heartbroken. But when Guy 2 recently came back to NJ from FL to escape Irma and found out that Guy 1 was in love with me (Guy 2 told me that Guy 1 would talk about me over and over and over again), he made a play for Guy 1 (who didn’t go for it) and then told me that he loved only me. Now, Guy 2 is once again making a play to get back together with Guy 1 and neither has talked to me for 4 days while they talk it out --- and I'm 50 mi. away from them.

    Any advice?

    Drop them both, focus on your profession. Save yourself from grief, heartache and drama.
  • Sexynripped

    Posts: 45

    Sep 23, 2017 10:07 PM GMT
    art_deco said
    mybud said
    Dude...You have become the spoils of war...left to the winner to decide your very existence...If I were you, I'd drop them all and move on...but your you and need to decide that. Second, if its been four days and you haven't heard anything from either of them....they're probably back together.....IMO.

    A wonderful observation regarding spoils of war. Certainly being kicked around like a soccer ball.

    I have no idea if they're back together permanently, but could well be shacking up to see if their old "magic" will return.

    But I'm struck by the coincidence of the players here. It's almost out of Dickens, aside from the principles being gay. Did Guys 1 & 2 share information about our OP?

    It just seems a little weird to me, and I'd be wary of both these guys. Neither of them has behaved well, might be time to consider cutting bait and casting lines elsewhere.


    Not sure what an OP is.
  • argus

    Posts: 968

    Sep 23, 2017 10:10 PM GMT
    Sexynripped said
    art_deco said
    mybud said
    Dude...You have become the spoils of war...left to the winner to decide your very existence...If I were you, I'd drop them all and move on...but your you and need to decide that. Second, if its been four days and you haven't heard anything from either of them....they're probably back together.....IMO.

    A wonderful observation regarding spoils of war. Certainly being kicked around like a soccer ball.

    I have no idea if they're back together permanently, but could well be shacking up to see if their old "magic" will return.

    But I'm struck by the coincidence of the players here. It's almost out of Dickens, aside from the principles being gay. Did Guys 1 & 2 share information about our OP?

    It just seems a little weird to me, and I'd be wary of both these guys. Neither of them has behaved well, might be time to consider cutting bait and casting lines elsewhere.


    Not sure what an OP is.


    Original Poster.

    ie. Person who originated the thread.
  • LJay

    Posts: 11627

    Sep 23, 2017 10:16 PM GMT
    Advice: Move to Arizona
  • rtmnmk

    Posts: 80

    Sep 23, 2017 11:03 PM GMT
    OK, Let's keep it simple:
    Tell guy #1 about your relationship with guy #2 and tell guy #2 about your relationship with guy #1. If the both know each other, it makes things even easier. If they keen on you and on each other and you love them both, than this sounds like a start of a wonderful TRIAD relationship. Consider if this suits you.

    However, If there are any secretes, clashes, cat-fights, jealousy or distrust - move to New Zealand for a while... It's such beautiful country icon_lol.gif

  • Sexynripped

    Posts: 45

    Sep 23, 2017 11:25 PM GMT
    argus said
    Sexynripped said
    art_deco said
    mybud said
    Dude...You have become the spoils of war...left to the winner to decide your very existence...If I were you, I'd drop them all and move on...but your you and need to decide that. Second, if its been four days and you haven't heard anything from either of them....they're probably back together.....IMO.

    A wonderful observation regarding spoils of war. Certainly being kicked around like a soccer ball.

    I have no idea if they're back together permanently, but could well be shacking up to see if their old "magic" will return.

    But I'm struck by the coincidence of the players here. It's almost out of Dickens, aside from the principles being gay. Did Guys 1 & 2 share information about our OP?

    It just seems a little weird to me, and I'd be wary of both these guys. Neither of them has behaved well, might be time to consider cutting bait and casting lines elsewhere.


    Not sure what an OP is.


    Original Poster.

    ie. Person who originated the thread.


    They aren't on this site, to my knowledge.
  • bro4bro

    Posts: 1635

    Sep 24, 2017 9:48 PM GMT
    Can't help but notice this whole situation would never have happened if you hadn't been flirting with both of them simultaneously.

    I'm also not clear on what you mean by "totally in love". Have you even met either of these guys in person? And if you're "in love" with Guy 1, why are you still playing around with Guy 2?

    My advice: simplify your life. It sounds like a mess.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 24, 2017 10:34 PM GMT
    Sexynripped said
    art_deco said
    mybud said
    Dude...You have become the spoils of war...left to the winner to decide your very existence...If I were you, I'd drop them all and move on...but your you and need to decide that. Second, if its been four days and you haven't heard anything from either of them....they're probably back together.....IMO.

    A wonderful observation regarding spoils of war. Certainly being kicked around like a soccer ball.

    I have no idea if they're back together permanently, but could well be shacking up to see if their old "magic" will return.

    But I'm struck by the coincidence of the players here. It's almost out of Dickens, aside from the principles being gay. Did Guys 1 & 2 share information about our OP?

    It just seems a little weird to me, and I'd be wary of both these guys. Neither of them has behaved well, might be time to consider cutting bait and casting lines elsewhere.


    Not sure what an OP is.

    OP = you. Meaning either original post, or original poster, depending on the context of the sentence. You started this thread, so it means YOU.

    Or are you a troll, jerking us around? With a ridiculous story, that doesn't make a lot of sense? As I hinted above. We do get those people here.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3876

    Sep 25, 2017 5:24 AM GMT
    first of all dont have relationships with people you couldnt fuck within jogging distance.

    but if you must, the situation you are in pretty much could be solved by having a bigger bed.

    or just find someone else and let them have each other.
  • Sexynripped

    Posts: 45

    Sep 25, 2017 10:32 PM GMT
    Apparition saidfirst of all dont have relationships with people you couldnt fuck within jogging distance.

    but if you must, the situation you are in pretty much could be solved by having a bigger bed.

    or just find someone else and let them have each other.


    Finding someone else is always an option. But I'm stuck living in an area where I don't have many other options for guys I'm attracted to. Due to estate obligations with my father, I can't move any time soon. I guess I'll have to suffer in the meantime.
  • Ednasgone

    Posts: 1

    Sep 26, 2017 4:40 AM GMT
    Apparition said...first of all dont have relationships with people you couldnt fuck within jogging distance.

    but if you must, the situation you are in pretty much could be solved by having a bigger bed.

    or just find someone else and let them have each other.


    OP said....
    Finding someone else is always an option. But I'm stuck living in an area where I don't have many other options for guys I'm attracted to. Due to estate obligations with my father, I can't move any time soon. I guess I'll have to suffer in the meantime.


    "Suffer in the meantime"?????
    Why should you be suffering? How do you know you're out of options. Not everyone has come out of the closet. Sounds like your negativity, which is holding you back, is making you think you have exhausted all your options. Maybe it's time for you to regroup and figure out what YOU want outta life. ( IJS--im just saying )