What do I do with this mess?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 27, 2018 2:30 AM GMT
    So telling this story would be a little difficult. Too many details that I might miss here. As well as explaining this mess. Sorry! All over the place!
    This is a warehouse job.

    We got this new manager that seems to be caring. Shocking right? What I mean is he is different with communication with his employees. We had others that care and talk to you, but then it ends and there is nothing more of it or any other questions in the future. With this new manager he goes out of his way to talk to you and cares to know. I wish I could put this out into words because it is indeed hard too. So here goes.

    What i learned from him is he does have excellent communication skills. I noticed was he would place his hand on my shoulder (my back turned) and tell me something about work quickly and then the hand is off. Not in any sexual indication way. Just one of those kind that do that. To me that feels like affirmation and understanding.

    When time passed, he was easier to talk too. He would at break call me over and discuss some things while we were outside with others around. Then while days went on, and breaks continue routinely, I notice he would look up at me from the bench. I easily notice because I have a good sense of a wide view while I look at my phone. lol I look up shortly after and his head goes back down to his phone with no "catching" of the look. So I thought to myself... OK, nothing seems odd here.. and the days went on again. I notice he can take joking around at work just me saying things about how work is and how we use to do things around here. His smiling and eye contact are amazing, and it did give me a slight thought of "is this guy -too- good to be true?"

    It seems to me he was trying to figure me out because according to his online profile, he can communicate with anyone on any level - interpersonal. To give a little background, I am higher than an associate.

    Well, I am going to quickly write this out and hope this would help some. Of course leaving out huge amounts of detail here. (sorry for that)

    At the desk I had a question about him, given to me on the computer and I showed him this. He said, "you have it selected on the worse one". I laughed and said I'll answer. But he insisted he wanted to know what I would answer. I said it does say below "I prefer not to say" and I'll give the reason because my manager is looking over my shoulder. lol He said, "I gave you a lollipop when you asked for one the other day" I said, "Ok, I'll answer 'somewhat' then. I laugh. He did too, but he turned and I answered quickly and I said, "Ha Ha! I answered and you didn't know what I selected" He looked at me in a certain way with the eyes lingering a bit with mine.. then he proceeded to say, "Come outside and smoke with me." I said, "sorry, I'm on the clock."

    Well, I fucked up there... I should of went outside regardless. (I did this again on another day when I was asked a question on the computer.) Later that day everyone went on lunch, and he is outside and I'm outside with a few more smokers. I sat at the right table, and he sat at the left table. I was looking at my phone and I heard the two beside me talking about work. I wanted to comment on what they said, so I looked up and when I did that... my eyes happened to land on him looking at me and he looked back down to his phone. (He had a grin and those eyes looked very sensitive) I continued to look all the way over to my left and ask a question.

    Another instance would be during breaks I notice he looks up at me when I stand and my face is not in his viewing range, but he forgets there are windows that reflect your image and I can see you look up from next to me at my.. well.. jeans butt area. Hey, I know this guy likes jeans anyways, because he wears good ones. Similar to Rock Revival jeans - which is what I wear.

    Another time was when I was walking back to my department... I seen him at the desk with another person, so as I went around the corner I turned my head to the right and locked eyes dead on with his for 2 secs and the board broke the stare. But as I went all the way around.. I notice he was still in this kinda bug eyed looking at the laptop while the other person continued talking.

    One day, my phone went off right at break time, and I said my order was shipped. He asked, "What did you buy?" I said, "Well, you know.. something." He THEN said, "What? A plastic dildo?" I was jaw dropped and laughed and said NO! lol

    Other things he does:
    He would mock a voice and say " oh my god" blah blah blah - whatever he has to say right there..
    And in a mocking voice even say my name.
    He does this all by "sounding gay"
    He's the type of guy that says "buddy"

    I know this guy cares, and there is only some times he shows these odd signs to me. When he comes to the desk he glances at me while walking up and says hello to me. I don't know what to think of this mess. Maybe he is the type that tries to find out what works best for his associates or he is just having fun. He does have a daughter but the mother passed couple years ago. Could this guy be using only his 15 years of skills, or could there be more to this? He looks great and I can notice something in that smile. He is known to be very cool and nice to others. This is really tough.. and I grown to like this guy very much. He's one of those rare guys that talk a certain way and it's making me fall for him.

    If you can make sense of this crap, let me know. If you have any questions, I'll be able to answer this better.
  • Andy921

    Posts: 5

    Jan 27, 2018 9:59 AM GMT
    MY opinion, don’t wait till it’s too late. Go ahead don’t be shy and just ask him! Cuz if you don’t you will regret it later like i did in very similar story couple of years ago. icon_smile.gif
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    Jan 27, 2018 3:15 PM GMT
    Andy921 saidMY opinion, don’t wait till it’s too late. Go ahead don’t be shy and just ask him! Cuz if you don’t you will regret it later like i did in very similar story couple of years ago. icon_smile.gif


    Maybe I'll just open up a little more. Possibly make it more noticeable this time about me, so to throw some confusion and curiosity his way. I think I only got a week left to do this before he is gone to another shift.

    Oh what I mean by confusion & curiosity is since he has great communication skills (interpersonal), then I should see a lot more from him and know for sure. Wishing this doesn't fail or he holds back.
  • Ubeaut

    Posts: 230

    Jan 28, 2018 12:24 AM GMT
    Alternately talk to HR about his comments about your buying a dildo. Nobody needs sexual harassment in the workplace.
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1262

    Jan 28, 2018 2:10 AM GMT
    Ubeaut saidAlternately talk to HR about his comments about your buying a dildo. Nobody needs sexual harassment in the workplace.


    Glad someone noticed! because that was my first impression!
    all this smells very fishy to me! with sexual harassment being
    so in these days, eventually if this flirtations escalates they
    both could loose their job! just saying.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 28, 2018 3:35 AM GMT
    Ubeaut saidAlternately talk to HR about his comments about your buying a dildo. Nobody needs sexual harassment in the workplace.


    I understand what you mean. I don't view it that way. If we all did at work.. everyone that is outside during break should be fired. We all joke around.. But we know when it isn't. We are more easy going.
  • mybud

    Posts: 13866

    Jan 28, 2018 4:08 AM GMT
    By the length of your post .This guy should run...run quickly from yo obsessive...bat shit crazy ass.....
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    Jan 28, 2018 6:54 AM GMT
    mybud saidBy the length of your post .This guy should run...run quickly from yo obsessive...bat shit crazy ass.....


    I didn't know length of post is a sign of judgement..hm. Oh I'm sorry trying to post enough detail. There's a lot that goes on in a 10 hour day everyday. I'm sorry you assume this obsessive. I'm not in the corner obsessing this guy.. This is over months not in a day. Is why it's written out a lot. But thanks for your input, no further is needed from this point forward if that's the only thought your unhelpful brain delivered. Very helpful.
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    Jan 28, 2018 11:38 AM GMT
    desiretoknow said
    mybud saidBy the length of your post .This guy should run...run quickly from yo obsessive...bat shit crazy ass.....


    I didn't know length of post is a sign of judgement..hm. Oh I'm sorry trying to post enough detail. There's a lot that goes on in a 10 hour day everyday. I'm sorry you assume this obsessive. I'm not in the corner obsessing this guy.. This is over months not in a day. Is why it's written out a lot. But thanks for your input, no further is needed from this point forward if that's the only thought your unhelpful brain delivered. Very helpful.



    It's called "brevity." No one wants to read someone's ramblings--me included.
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    Jan 28, 2018 1:33 PM GMT
    You expect brevity to be enough to say in detail? When something is so complex, sometimes you can narrow it down simple/short if it's not so many things that made it so. This wasn't one of them. All that writing means I held onto the memory of those details when it happened. Looks like no one read the first line of what I meant. Why should that be left out if it can help someone to wonder better. If no one wants to read a "rambling" then there is simply no desire to read it or comment. Not everything is required to be shorten.

    I'm more into wanting to know about this "story" than a talk about the length of it.

    Thanks

    Edit: I edited out the 'unimportant parts'.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 28, 2018 1:50 PM GMT
    In my view, relationships - of any sort at work are a recipe for problems.
    I'd suggest you try and keep it professional.
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    Jan 28, 2018 1:56 PM GMT
    Bodycontactau saidIn my view, relationships - of any sort at work are a recipe for problems.
    I'd suggest you try and keep it professional.


    I agree with you! It happens at this work and once word gets out, they separate them to other departments if they are higher than an associate. I may be higher, but this is a different matter that wouldn't apply to what I stated.

    Thanks sir!
  • Red_wolf87a

    Posts: 134

    Jan 28, 2018 3:23 PM GMT
    This reminds me of one time I worked in a kitchen and this other guy I kept feeling chemistry with. He had the prolonged eye contact with me and would give me a sexy grin a lot while talking. Eventually we got to a moment where I was trying to think of what I was going to say to him but I was caught off guard with how close we were standing and his sexy smile. I said 'uhh' a couple times with a nervous laugh while giving him smiling eye contact. Then he told me 'I know what you want..'. After that I just shrugged, laughed a little bit and got back to work. Man he was a sexy, short white guy with a goatee. Kind of really obnoxious though, which was a little sexy because he would try to make me laugh a lot.

    I backed off because I was in this situation before and it stressed me out. He seemed sad at first but got the hint and respected it, he still slightly flirted and gave me 'knowing' looks like he hoped I would change my mind. I wish I did just give in though.. I think that kind of chemistry is rare and if you really like him go for it, even if it means risking finding another job (but if you really need this job and depend on it, I wouldn't recommend risking it or dating in the work place).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 28, 2018 4:15 PM GMT
    Red_wolf87a saidThis reminds me of one time I worked in a kitchen and this other guy I kept feeling chemistry with. He had the prolonged eye contact with me and would give me a sexy grin a lot while talking. Eventually we got to a moment where I was trying to think of what I was going to say to him but I was caught off guard with how close we were standing and his sexy smile. I said 'uhh' a couple times with a nervous laugh while giving him smiling eye contact. Then he told me 'I know what you want..'. After that I just shrugged, laughed a little bit and got back to work. Man he was a sexy, short white guy with a goatee. Kind of really obnoxious though, which was a little sexy because he would try to make me laugh a lot.

    I backed off because I was in this situation before and it stressed me out. He seemed sad at first but got the hint and respected it, he still slightly flirted and gave me 'knowing' looks like he hoped I would change my mind. I wish I did just give in though.. I think that kind of chemistry is rare and if you really like him go for it, even if it means risking finding another job (but if you really need this job and depend on it, I wouldn't recommend risking it or dating in the work place).


    I have respect for you sir. I do know what you mean with the smiling eye contact. I sometimes do that too unknowingly until I go over what happened. Same thing happens with this guy as well. I can see the stress in all of that happening each time. There was one moment that I was too stuck briefly and I wonder if that exposes too much at once. It kinda displaces everything in that moment. And I sure do agree with you on that rare chemistry. He is the 2nd guy I ever met that shows this unique way of talk, "looking", caring, and choice of words. I always hate it in some way because it feels like it's something not meant for me to have and experience further than what was shown to me. Thank you for sharing. I appreciate it.
  • mybud

    Posts: 13866

    Jan 28, 2018 5:39 PM GMT
    desiretoknow said
    mybud saidBy the length of your post .This guy should run...run quickly from yo obsessive...bat shit crazy ass.....


    I didn't know length of post is a sign of judgement..hm. Oh I'm sorry trying to post enough detail. There's a lot that goes on in a 10 hour day everyday. I'm sorry you assume this obsessive. I'm not in the corner obsessing this guy.. This is over months not in a day. Is why it's written out a lot. But thanks for your input, no further is needed from this point forward if that's the only thought your unhelpful brain delivered. Very helpful.
    So you scoff at the truth ..Reality is a bitch huh..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 29, 2018 4:48 AM GMT
    mybud said
    desiretoknow said
    mybud saidBy the length of your post .This guy should run...run quickly from yo obsessive...bat shit crazy ass.....


    I didn't know length of post is a sign of judgement..hm. Oh I'm sorry trying to post enough detail. There's a lot that goes on in a 10 hour day everyday. I'm sorry you assume this obsessive. I'm not in the corner obsessing this guy.. This is over months not in a day. Is why it's written out a lot. But thanks for your input, no further is needed from this point forward if that's the only thought your unhelpful brain delivered. Very helpful.
    So you scoff at the truth ..Reality is a bitch huh..


    No. It's not mine. This is just your 'reality'. You are the type that likes to bitch on stupid shit. In a forum, on my topic, providing no help and trying to make yourself an enemy to newcomers. Is all your 13k post of the same thing - bitching- because that is your reality.
    Now I have no point in replying back any more to you. I seek from people I appreciate help from. Sighs.. There always got to be that one somewhere.icon_rolleyes.gif
  • mybud

    Posts: 13866

    Feb 03, 2018 8:38 PM GMT
    desiretoknow said
    mybud said
    desiretoknow said
    mybud saidBy the length of your post .This guy should run...run quickly from yo obsessive...bat shit crazy ass.....


    I didn't know length of post is a sign of judgement..hm. Oh I'm sorry trying to post enough detail. There's a lot that goes on in a 10 hour day everyday. I'm sorry you assume this obsessive. I'm not in the corner obsessing this guy.. This is over months not in a day. Is why it's written out a lot. But thanks for your input, no further is needed from this point forward if that's the only thought your unhelpful brain delivered. Very helpful.
    So you scoff at the truth ..Reality is a bitch huh..


    No. It's not mine. This is just your 'reality'. You are the type that likes to bitch on stupid shit. In a forum, on my topic, providing no help and trying to make yourself an enemy to newcomers. Is all your 13k post of the same thing - bitching- because that is your reality.
    Now I have no point in replying back any more to you. I seek from people I appreciate help from. Sighs.. There always got to be that one somewhere.icon_rolleyes.gif
    Your reality involves you putting his pet rabbit on a back stove burner..Turning it on high..and waiting for him to come across it..Mister cray-cray
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 06, 2018 4:24 PM GMT
    Thanks to those that did reply and gave some helpful advice. I think I'll be leaving it here for now. There was only a few things that happen since then. The same thing with looking at me again. None of this will matter anymore when it gets to next week. Thanks again!