I have a really bad crush on my teacher, how do I overcome it?

  • madkyle

    Posts: 8

    Feb 03, 2018 5:06 PM GMT
    So, don't judge too much please, I know it's ridiculous but I can't help it! icon_rolleyes.gif

    This might get long so thanks in advance for anyone who actually sits through this and decides to give an opinion to it. That's basically what I ask for, just some opinions or advice on how to overcome unrequited crushes.

    We've been having a new art teacher each year due to our school syllabus in Germany, in which each newcomer has to work at several schools to test their teaching abilities before actually being certified as one. Anyways, my art teacher whom I will call Mr. D. for practicality's sake (even though he has a PhD by now) is unfortunately already going to leave us at the end of this month.
    Mr. D. is in his early 30s and, obviously, a teacher for that matter and I would like to make clear that I would never act on my feelings for him. Problem is that I've been feeling incredibly attracted to him during the past months. He's unbelievably smart, always easygoing and in a good mood and his looks and style are top notch too. I've been getting along with him rather well and he's been acknowledging my art skills and background knowledge since day one. Actually, he recently wrote a page long comment on my art exam and mentioned almost everything I ever contributed to his class.
    I started to linger after class because I just really didn't want to attend the following classes and he's been striking up conversations with me everytime so I inadvertently spent quite some time with him. Sometimes he'd notice that I'm in a bad mood and tries to take my mind off that by handing me books. And I always happened to bump into him at school, I basically exchange a few words minimum with him every school day. When we had a sleepover at school for our schoolspaper team in order to layout all that stuff he was there too, correcting exams til 10 pm. I drew him on one occasion because of the theme of one schoolspaper article which we wrote on him (that we do with every new teacher). I showed him the drawing which was photorealistic and he just got his phone out and took a picture of that, just like he did with my art homeworks he wanted to submit for the middle pages of the schoolspaper.
    And there was a carneval show at our school a few days ago and I did the bartending to earn some money on the side, he was continuously ordering something when I walked by and tipped me too. When he wanted to walk past me, I actually noticed that he was sizing me up (I have a habit of wearing tight short-sleeved button downs) and smiling. We've also been writing e-mails regarding schoolspaper articles and school art projects back and forth, so I really don't get around associating with him.
    I mean, I am not listing all these things because I think that he likes me the way I'd like to. Not at all. I just list these things because I find them nice and wanted to share. I think he's just a polite teacher who appreciates me as a student. No harm in that.

    The thing that bugs me is just that if he wasn't my teacher and about 15 years my senior, I'd definitely try to make things work. But he isn't and I am reasonable enough to just let it be, so now all I really need is advice on how to just get over having encountered a person you find enticing. I have been thinking about him every day for the past semester, it'll be kinda hard not to and especially since I won't see him again. I'm like a little boy if it comes to him, I'm exciting for every class or every opportunity to meet him and I always want to impress.

    And actually! since I won't be seeing him again I am also thinking about seeking some emotional advice from him regarding something rather bad going on in my life right now. That wouldn't affect our teacher-student relationships (by that I mean my grades) because he won't be teaching me anymore, and also won't be seeing me anymore for that matter. I would totally accept if he chose rather not to listen to me whine. I'm just thinking about doing so because I need some advice from adults with more perspective than I have, I guess.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 03, 2018 6:08 PM GMT
    Are you in high school or university/college?

    Seeking emotional advice from your teacher is letting your dick do the talking. My suggestion: STOP IT! One thing could lead to another, and this teacher will be disciplined or lose his job.

    If you really like him, and are concerned for his welfare (and his future teaching career), then don't make your move until after he's finished teaching at your school. Exchange contacts, if you wish. But I'd say leave it at that--for now.

    Good luck!

    PS-In terms of getting over your crush, try going out on dates with other guys (peers and not other teachers, hehehe). That will ease your feelings for this teacher.

    PSS-As another Asian brother, I must ask: Why are all the guys in your "Hot List" WHITE?! Do you have something against other Asian guys? I could be wrong about you, but this Asian-excluding-other-Asian-racism thing MUST STOP!
  • mybud

    Posts: 14087

    Feb 03, 2018 6:09 PM GMT
    You have a serious crush on your teacher. Take into account if you try to take it to another level, you could jeopardize his career. I have this feeling you believe if you share this personal problem with this guy,it will bring you closer...He isn't a counselor...he's a teacher. Do you want to be the ulimate cause of him losing his career? If you care for him...let him alone....All the best.
  • madkyle

    Posts: 8

    Feb 03, 2018 6:41 PM GMT
    Lesbian_Lover saidAre you in high school or university/college?

    Seeking emotional advice from your teacher is letting your dick do the talking. My suggestion: STOP IT! One thing could lead to another, and this teacher will be disciplined or lose his job.

    If you really like him, and are concerned for his welfare (and his future teaching career), then don't make your move until after he's finished teaching at your school. Exchange contacts, if you wish. But I'd say leave it at that--for now.

    Good luck!

    PS-In terms of getting over your crush, try going out on dates with other guys (peers and not other teachers, hehehe). That will ease your feelings for this teacher.

    PSS-As another Asian brother, I must ask: Why are all the guys in your "Hot List" WHITE?! Do you have something against other Asian guys? I could be wrong about you, but this Asian-excluding-other-Asian-racism thing MUST STOP!


    I'm in my final year of high school or in other terms, I'll be doing my a levels this year.

    Thanks for the advice! I think it's my dick talking too, but it's always good to have other people's opinions too so I can judge my own situation better.

    And the thing with my hotlist: that is completely random! Seriously, I don't spend a lot of time checking other guys' profiles out, I just do so when someone texts me or if I see someone hot on the homepage. Not excluding other Asians at all, or any other ethnicity for that matter. (:
  • madkyle

    Posts: 8

    Feb 03, 2018 6:42 PM GMT
    mybud saidYou have a serious crush on your teacher. Take into account if you try to take it to another level, you could jeopardize his career. I have this feeling you believe if you share this personal problem with this guy,it will bring you closer...He isn't a counselor...he's a teacher. Do you want to be the ulimate cause of him losing his career? If you care for him...let him alone....All the best.


    Thanks for the opinion, as I stated earlier, it's good to have other people's perspective on this. I do care about his career, since he's already applying for returning to university to become an art professor. Hope that works out for him. Anyways, thanks again!
  • mybud

    Posts: 14087

    Feb 03, 2018 6:51 PM GMT
    madkyle said
    mybud saidYou have a serious crush on your teacher. Take into account if you try to take it to another level, you could jeopardize his career. I have this feeling you believe if you share this personal problem with this guy,it will bring you closer...He isn't a counselor...he's a teacher. Do you want to be the ulimate cause of him losing his career? If you care for him...let him alone....All the best.


    Thanks for the opinion, as I stated earlier, it's good to have other people's perspective on this. I do care about his career, since he's already applying for returning to university to become an art professor. Hope that works out for him. Anyways, thanks again!
    I don't want this to sound condescending; but I'm proud of your decision. Never sacrifice your character or self respect for another person....It just ain't worth it....Steve
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 03, 2018 7:21 PM GMT
    madkyle said
    And the thing with my hotlist: that is completely random! Seriously, I don't spend a lot of time checking other guys' profiles out, I just do so when someone texts me or if I see someone hot on the homepage. Not excluding other Asians at all, or any other ethnicity for that matter. (:



    Sorry, bro, my bad. icon_redface.gif
  • madkyle

    Posts: 8

    Feb 03, 2018 7:22 PM GMT
    Lesbian_Lover said
    madkyle said
    And the thing with my hotlist: that is completely random! Seriously, I don't spend a lot of time checking other guys' profiles out, I just do so when someone texts me or if I see someone hot on the homepage. Not excluding other Asians at all, or any other ethnicity for that matter. (:



    Sorry, bro, my bad. icon_redface.gif


    no worries!
  • gayv

    Posts: 236

    Feb 03, 2018 7:28 PM GMT
    You are very young and I was 18 years old too in the past.
    I presume most persons had their crushes, so it´s normal, however what is not normal is spending your time with a thing it doesn´t have future and can hurt you. You don´t deserve it! Be smart!
    Please, hear me as someone who went through the same phase you are going now. Sometimes we mess an admiration with love and due to the hormones of youth, this mix can be explosive. However I assure you: it isn´t worthy. I don´t care about him, because he is an adult and knows how to preserve himself, but I care about you because you are young and you are a teenager.
    So, use your time to make things that will give you joy, not stress!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 03, 2018 7:59 PM GMT
    gayv saidYou are very young and I was 18 years old too in the past.
    I presume most persons had their crushes, so it´s normal, however what is not normal is spending your time with a thing it doesn´t have future and can hurt you. You don´t deserve it! Be smart!
    Please, hear me as someone who went through the same phase you are going now. Sometimes we mess an admiration with love and due to the hormones of youth, this mix can be explosive.



    You know, 18 isn't that young. You make it seem as though the OP is a little child, needing "adult" protection. It's a bit condescending, tbh. Just sayin.

  • mybud

    Posts: 14087

    Feb 04, 2018 9:34 PM GMT
    Lesbian_Lover said
    gayv saidYou are very young and I was 18 years old too in the past.
    I presume most persons had their crushes, so it´s normal, however what is not normal is spending your time with a thing it doesn´t have future and can hurt you. You don´t deserve it! Be smart!
    Please, hear me as someone who went through the same phase you are going now. Sometimes we mess an admiration with love and due to the hormones of youth, this mix can be explosive.



    You know, 18 isn't that young. You make it seem as though the OP is a little child, needing "adult" protection. It's a bit condescending, tbh. Just sayin.

    Spoken like a creeper..like those younguns????
  • gayv

    Posts: 236

    Feb 05, 2018 12:01 AM GMT
    mybud said
    Lesbian_Lover said
    gayv saidYou are very young and I was 18 years old too in the past.
    I presume most persons had their crushes, so it´s normal, however what is not normal is spending your time with a thing it doesn´t have future and can hurt you. You don´t deserve it! Be smart!
    Please, hear me as someone who went through the same phase you are going now. Sometimes we mess an admiration with love and due to the hormones of youth, this mix can be explosive.



    You know, 18 isn't that young. You make it seem as though the OP is a little child, needing "adult" protection. It's a bit condescending, tbh. Just sayin.

    Spoken like a creeper..like those younguns????

    I think you understood what I wrote. Thank you!
  • mybud

    Posts: 14087

    Feb 05, 2018 12:59 AM GMT
    gayv said
    mybud said
    Lesbian_Lover said
    gayv saidYou are very young and I was 18 years old too in the past.
    I presume most persons had their crushes, so it´s normal, however what is not normal is spending your time with a thing it doesn´t have future and can hurt you. You don´t deserve it! Be smart!
    Please, hear me as someone who went through the same phase you are going now. Sometimes we mess an admiration with love and due to the hormones of youth, this mix can be explosive.



    You know, 18 isn't that young. You make it seem as though the OP is a little child, needing "adult" protection. It's a bit condescending, tbh. Just sayin.

    Spoken like a creeper..like those younguns????

    I think you understood what I wrote. Thank you!
    I wasn't addressing you...I was addressing the hidden profile member.
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1329

    Feb 05, 2018 3:25 AM GMT
    The OP seems like nice, well mannered, well educated young gay man; so I must congratulate and respect him for that! gay teenagers in the United States seem to lack those same qualities, sad!

    I can definitely identify and even relate to him and his dilemma! I remembered having quite a few crushes with my school professors, during my youth in Spain when General Franco was in power; needless to say being a gay teenager was difficult if not life threatening during those times.

    Unfortunately unlike the young man, I avoided expressing those feelings for three main reasons; 1) I was scared to death for getting arrested. 2) I was afraid to put my mother into more hardships and embarrassment. 3) I didn't want to get my school professors I had crushes on into trouble.

    So I started diverting my attention into my studies; until I came to the states that I started dating boys my age!
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1329

    Feb 05, 2018 4:54 AM GMT


    And one more thing! be careful with unrequited crushes,
    because like in this video, when forced, it can end you up
    like the young man in love! unless you are strong and
    brave enough to stand the pains of conquering it!?
    remember thou that life is NOT a movie! conquering
    something in the long run may end you being your
    own prisoner. Don't forget that love consists of two
    wings for it to take flight!




  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 05, 2018 10:45 PM GMT
    Yeah, he really is too old for you. Not to be crude, but you might want to make sure you jerk off first thing in the morning when it's a day you're going to be in his class so that you can be less worked up when you're in his class that day.
  • gayv

    Posts: 236

    Feb 05, 2018 10:56 PM GMT
    mybud said
    gayv said
    mybud said
    Lesbian_Lover said
    gayv saidYou are very young and I was 18 years old too in the past.
    I presume most persons had their crushes, so it´s normal, however what is not normal is spending your time with a thing it doesn´t have future and can hurt you. You don´t deserve it! Be smart!
    Please, hear me as someone who went through the same phase you are going now. Sometimes we mess an admiration with love and due to the hormones of youth, this mix can be explosive.



    You know, 18 isn't that young. You make it seem as though the OP is a little child, needing "adult" protection. It's a bit condescending, tbh. Just sayin.

    Spoken like a creeper..like those younguns????

    I think you understood what I wrote. Thank you!
    I wasn't addressing you...I was addressing the hidden profile member.

    Yes, I perceived it. That´s why I did thank you.icon_cool.gif
  • gayv

    Posts: 236

    Feb 05, 2018 10:58 PM GMT
    duluthrunner saidYeah, he really is too old for you. Not to be crude, but you might want to make sure you jerk off first thing in the morning when it's a day you're going to be in his class so that you can be less worked up when you're in his class that day.

    I agree with this comment.
    Try to start thinking about different persons. You need to erase him as the focus of your attention.
  • gayv

    Posts: 236

    Feb 05, 2018 11:00 PM GMT
    LEANDRO_NJ saidThe OP seems like nice, well mannered, well educated young gay man; so I must congratulate and respect him for that! gay teenagers in the United States seem to lack those same qualities, sad!

    I can definitely identify and even relate to him and his dilemma! I remembered having quite a few crushes with my school professors, during my youth in Spain when General Franco was in power; needless to say being a gay teenager was difficult if not life threatening during those times.

    Unfortunately unlike the young man, I avoided expressing those feelings for three main reasons; 1) I was scared to death for getting arrested. 2) I was afraid to put my mother into more hardships and embarrassment. 3) I didn't want to get my school professors I had crushes on into trouble.

    So I started diverting my attention into my studies; until I came to the states that I started dating boys my age!


    Really wise decisions!
  • rambi

    Posts: 56

    Feb 10, 2018 8:15 PM GMT
    This reminds me of my french teacher.. just appreciate him, its really special to have this type of relationship with a teacher because it makes you want to prosper in the course, and it makes the learning more enjoyable. I'd say just restrict your thoughts a bit(have boundaries) if you feel like flirting thats up to you, but know your boundaries. Since he'll be leaving you should make him something to remember you; a going away gift. good luck icon_smile.gif
  • mybud

    Posts: 14087

    Feb 10, 2018 8:42 PM GMT
    rambi saidThis reminds me of my french teacher.. just appreciate him, its really special to have this type of relationship with a teacher because it makes you want to prosper in the course, and it makes the learning more enjoyable. I'd say just restrict your thoughts a bit(have boundaries) if you feel like flirting thats up to you, but know your boundaries. Since he'll be leaving you should make him something to remember you; a going away gift. good luck icon_smile.gif
    Great advice....
  • madkyle

    Posts: 8

    Feb 11, 2018 11:00 AM GMT
    rambi saidThis reminds me of my french teacher.. just appreciate him, its really special to have this type of relationship with a teacher because it makes you want to prosper in the course, and it makes the learning more enjoyable. I'd say just restrict your thoughts a bit(have boundaries) if you feel like flirting thats up to you, but know your boundaries. Since he'll be leaving you should make him something to remember you; a going away gift. good luck icon_smile.gif


    Thanks so much! I'm really hopelessly head over heels for that guy, did you ever have that? I absolutely know that my feelings are unrequited, but I also have never been this attracted to anyone before or at least in this kind. I guess that's because he's already an adult and kind of completed in his character and all. Anyways, I've been thinking about him constantly, but he'll be leaving us at the end of February.
    Some friends and I were already thinking about giving him a goodbye gift, since we were the first class he taught and he accomplished amazing grades with us, so that'll make him happy for sure. But I've been asked to do the calligraphy for a card, so I guess that'd serve for a going away gift from me. (:
  • rambi

    Posts: 56

    Feb 19, 2018 7:19 PM GMT
    madkyle said
    rambi saidThis reminds me of my french teacher.. just appreciate him, its really special to have this type of relationship with a teacher because it makes you want to prosper in the course, and it makes the learning more enjoyable. I'd say just restrict your thoughts a bit(have boundaries) if you feel like flirting thats up to you, but know your boundaries. Since he'll be leaving you should make him something to remember you; a going away gift. good luck icon_smile.gif


    Thanks so much! I'm really hopelessly head over heels for that guy, did you ever have that? I absolutely know that my feelings are unrequited, but I also have never been this attracted to anyone before or at least in this kind. I guess that's because he's already an adult and kind of completed in his character and all. Anyways, I've been thinking about him constantly, but he'll be leaving us at the end of February.
    Some friends and I were already thinking about giving him a goodbye gift, since we were the first class he taught and he accomplished amazing grades with us, so that'll make him happy for sure. But I've been asked to do the calligraphy for a card, so I guess that'd serve for a going away gift from me. (:


    it would be cute if you put in a secret message into the gift, but i mean this doesnt have to end if you dont want it to. Ask him if you could take his email to stay in touch because hes a teacher whos class you really enjoyed, so you'd want to give him updates every now and then. You can start off with that, no need to rush, and who knows..he might come back ;)
  • madkyle

    Posts: 8

    Feb 24, 2018 10:07 AM GMT
    rambi said
    madkyle said
    rambi saidThis reminds me of my french teacher.. just appreciate him, its really special to have this type of relationship with a teacher because it makes you want to prosper in the course, and it makes the learning more enjoyable. I'd say just restrict your thoughts a bit(have boundaries) if you feel like flirting thats up to you, but know your boundaries. Since he'll be leaving you should make him something to remember you; a going away gift. good luck icon_smile.gif


    Thanks so much! I'm really hopelessly head over heels for that guy, did you ever have that? I absolutely know that my feelings are unrequited, but I also have never been this attracted to anyone before or at least in this kind. I guess that's because he's already an adult and kind of completed in his character and all. Anyways, I've been thinking about him constantly, but he'll be leaving us at the end of February.
    Some friends and I were already thinking about giving him a goodbye gift, since we were the first class he taught and he accomplished amazing grades with us, so that'll make him happy for sure. But I've been asked to do the calligraphy for a card, so I guess that'd serve for a going away gift from me. (:


    it would be cute if you put in a secret message into the gift, but i mean this doesnt have to end if you dont want it to. Ask him if you could take his email to stay in touch because hes a teacher whos class you really enjoyed, so you'd want to give him updates every now and then. You can start off with that, no need to rush, and who knows..he might come back ;)


    Alright, just wanna keep you guys posted!

    He left our school yesterday. And we did have some talks, because he apparently liked having conversations with me after class. He told me about some stuff he did before becoming a teacher and gave me some advice on finding the right kind of work and stuff. He told me that he also had conflicts with his parents but adviced me to try to make decisions that have a long term effect and that everyone has to survive their family somehow.
    Anyways, my friends and I gave him the presents (an own desk-call-bell-thing, because that's what he always used to silence us, a card which I did the calligraphy for thanking him with a little text a friend wrote on the back and our signatures and a sketchbook). He was seriously lost for words and his hands kind of shaked while putting them down on his desk, so yeah, we're really glad that he likes it. He told us that he'll never forget about the time he had here and that we'll surely meet again.
  • rambi

    Posts: 56

    Feb 25, 2018 2:49 AM GMT
    really sweet icon_smile.gif