Eye Contact???

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 24, 2009 10:32 PM GMT
    I'm getting this whole gaydar thing, and i think that the secret is eye contact. The only problem I am having is it seems like eye contact between two straight men and two gay men mean completely different things, normally one being attraction (gay) and one being aggression (straight). icon_rolleyes.gif

    How do you tell if he is straight actingicon_exclaim.gificon_question.gif
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    Feb 24, 2009 10:45 PM GMT
    I've read that eye contact between staight men means aggression.... but I really don't think it's true.

    Sure, straight men don't spend much time staring into each others' eyes (sigh), but they do look at one another when they're talking!

    If you ask me, there's a less subtle way to know if a guy fancies you...... icon_redface.gif
  • FrontRowIn

    Posts: 133

    Feb 24, 2009 11:00 PM GMT
    I'm guessing if the guy kind of looks you up a little slowly, maybe he's cruising you?

    It's hard to put it into words. I guess it's something that you learn to recognize over time. It's more of an art than a science.
  • HorrorHound

    Posts: 1435

    Feb 24, 2009 11:04 PM GMT
    I've noticed eye contact or guys lookin' in my direction at the gym - but its usually that cocky "you don't belong in here" look icon_confused.gif
  • RSportsguy

    Posts: 1925

    Feb 24, 2009 11:06 PM GMT
    AKA_B1GK saidI've noticed eye contact or guys lookin' in my direction at the gym - but its usually that cocky "you don't belong in here" look icon_confused.gif


    Wow, if they don't think you belong in there, I wonder what they would say about me!! icon_eek.gif
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    Feb 24, 2009 11:27 PM GMT
    I read somewhere if a str8 guy makes eye contact, you're supposed to talk to him calmly and approach slowly....then force him down on his back and rub his belly.
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    Feb 24, 2009 11:30 PM GMT
    Beaux saidI read somewhere if a str8 guy makes eye contact, you're supposed to talk to him calmly and approach slowly....then force him down on his back and rub his belly.

    This dude kicks ass I loved his showicon_cool.gif
    Cesar-Millan-dog-whisper-lr.jpg

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 24, 2009 11:33 PM GMT
    Beaux saidI read somewhere if a str8 guy makes eye contact, you're supposed to talk to him calmly and approach slowly....then force him down on his back and rub his belly.


    good advice, I will try it...LOL
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 25, 2009 12:01 AM GMT
    I don't know how it is in your town, but here you see so many missed connections posts on craigslist having to do with eye contact in the gym. Makes for some entertaining reading at times.
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    Feb 25, 2009 12:20 AM GMT
    ^ There's a lot of eye contact that goes in a gym. Everyone checking each other out. Competitive I guess...
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    Feb 25, 2009 12:31 AM GMT
    Lost_And_Found saidI've read that eye contact between staight men means aggression.... but I really don't think it's true.


    I don't know about where you're from, but in my hometown one could easily find himself in an aggressive confrontation by making eye contact with the wrong person. icon_eek.gif
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    Feb 25, 2009 1:00 AM GMT
    I'm not exactly from da hood. But when I was growing up, when a guy stares you down, he's mad doggin' you and there's a high probability he wants to fight for whatever reason.

    So if I'm in a non-gay environment and I see a guy staring at me, I don't assume he's "interested" in me. If the guy doesn't accompany the stare with a smile and the right body language, then I get myself ready for fight mode.

    Sad, I know. icon_neutral.gif
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    Feb 25, 2009 2:16 AM GMT
    AKA_B1GK saidI've noticed eye contact or guys lookin' in my direction at the gym - but its usually that cocky "you don't belong in here" look icon_confused.gif


    Uh, HELLO! You look like you OWN the gym, just give them a stare back or kick those haters outta there, Lol!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 25, 2009 2:20 AM GMT
    Whenever I stare at Big K, its cause he doesn't belong in the gym, he belongs in my bed icon_razz.gif
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    Feb 25, 2009 3:08 AM GMT
    crownroyal117 saidWhenever I stare at Big K, its cause he doesn't belong in the gym, he belongs in my bed icon_razz.gif


    Amen! icon_redface.gificon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 25, 2009 3:24 AM GMT
    I dunno, maybe too much analysis going on here. To me, gaydar means you just KNOW, instinctively. Trying to apply behavioral formulas is NOT what gaydar is all about. And if you don't get it, well... I guess you just don't get it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 25, 2009 3:31 AM GMT
    I do not like eye-contact. icon_confused.gif Especially people who do it all the time while talking to you.
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    Feb 25, 2009 3:38 AM GMT
    Sedative saidI do not like eye-contact. icon_confused.gif Especially people who do it all the time while talking to you.

    Interesting, and I wonder if a cultural thing? Earlier in my life I was often criticized for NOT looking people in the eye, which I excused as a New York City trait. So I trained myself to look people right in the eye, which I still do.

    Most people in the US seem to like that, a sign of sincerity & interest in the other person. To not make eye contact is considered being "shifty" and at times disrespectful & impolite. Are not all these things governed by cultural customs?
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    Feb 25, 2009 4:10 AM GMT
    Red_Vespa said
    Sedative saidI do not like eye-contact. icon_confused.gif Especially people who do it all the time while talking to you.

    Interesting, and I wonder if a cultural thing? Earlier in my life I was often criticized for NOT looking people in the eye, which I excused as a New York City trait. So I trained myself to look people right in the eye, which I still do.

    Most people in the US seem to like that, a sign of sincerity & interest in the other person. To not make eye contact is considered being "shifty" and at times disrespectful & impolite. Are not all these things governed by cultural customs?


    To me, its a very confrontational thing, unless you're talking directly to someone already. I usually stare at people's lips though, easier for me to understand people that way.
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    Feb 25, 2009 4:21 AM GMT
    Deadbeet said
    Red_Vespa said
    Sedative saidI do not like eye-contact. icon_confused.gif Especially people who do it all the time while talking to you.

    Interesting, and I wonder if a cultural thing? Earlier in my life I was often criticized for NOT looking people in the eye, which I excused as a New York City trait. So I trained myself to look people right in the eye, which I still do.

    Most people in the US seem to like that, a sign of sincerity & interest in the other person. To not make eye contact is considered being "shifty" and at times disrespectful & impolite. Are not all these things governed by cultural customs?


    To me, its a very confrontational thing, unless you're talking directly to someone already. I usually stare at people's lips though, easier for me to understand people that way.


    Could be. Here it is rude to look at another person in the eyes directly all the time. Especially if he's of higher 'status' than you. i.e. your parents, your teacher, a government official, etc. Because yes, it does seem confrontational.

    An occasional meeting of the eyes is good when talking but trying to hold his gaze is akin to staring at somebody eat - rude.

    It's also why I do not like handshakes. Since you have to hold the other guy's gaze and also keep the grip firm. Kinda territorial methinks. icon_confused.gif I prefer the slight bow/nod that we're used to here, brief smile and eye contact, not the staring contest of the handshake.

  • jgymnast733

    Posts: 1783

    Feb 25, 2009 4:28 AM GMT
    Thats a good question, I get cruised by both actually, the approach of str8 guys usually has something to do with my physical appearence and the approach of gay men will always focus directly on my round ass or my clothing.
    I'm never intimidated by negative looks, i have more confidence than anyone i know,,plus i can back it up if i need to.icon_wink.gif
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    Feb 25, 2009 4:41 AM GMT
    The last breakfast I ate was ground-up chunks of a guy who thought my wimpy handshake and indirect gaze was a sign of weakness. Your handshake and gaze are a part of who you are. Nothing says pussy more than the put-on bullshit of a hard handshake and staring into my eye.

    To the topic, I notice guys who keep me directly in their gaze as well as those who pay attention to me in their periphery. Having any interest in me at all is the giveaway. The straight guys are just too preoccupied with their little hands or the little girl on the stairclimber to notice I exist.

    Hell, I'd peg ME in a crowded room.
  • allatonce

    Posts: 904

    Feb 25, 2009 5:06 AM GMT
    Ya tough call. Hard for me too, but I think I may be starting to get better at figuring out what a stare means. You can definitely tell immediately if the stare is hostile or not, and from there you just have to figure out why else he's staring.
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    Feb 25, 2009 5:40 AM GMT
    most of the time eye contact cant mean much, then words i always look like am gonna kill some one and i havnt been on a fight ever, is the guy is gay get attention, then gives attutude and if straight turns around to the other side,
    maybe its a sign of who leads the crowd.

    such a game thats what it is!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 25, 2009 6:01 AM GMT
    i nod at people that look at me frequently, and it either stops it or opens up the whole new line of defense / action. up to you how you are going to pursue either.