How do you not get down or give up?

  • X48384

    Posts: 25

    Feb 16, 2018 4:10 AM GMT
    Hey guys,

    At. the gym today and there were a lot of young fit guys there. They were wearing tee shirts with the arms and sides cut off so you can see all of their chest and stomachs and see how ripped they were. I was jealous but also it made me want to just give up. I didn't, I did my 5 miles not he elliptical, but it just made me feel like I can never get there. I know I will never look like them, but I feel like there is a monumental road ahead and just easy to get down.
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    Feb 16, 2018 5:16 AM GMT
    Nice to have eye candy around.

    Probably, to get in your best shape, it will take changing eating habits as well as exercise.
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    Feb 16, 2018 2:12 PM GMT
    You do not have a face pic in your profile and your profile is not verified.

    Try to make some friends no less than 12 years younger than you and no more than 12 years older than you. Look at bodies within that 24 year range.
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    Feb 16, 2018 4:51 PM GMT
    You live in Scranton, Pennsylvania. I highly doubt there were that many hot, ripped guys running around your gym. If you could be honest with yourself, you would also note that there were probably a LOT more out of shape guys waddling around. See the whole picture. But even if there were tons of hot guys.....why not use that as motivation? I guess I'm different but I have never felt inadequate around hot guys. I always feel inspired if anything, but most of the time I just don't pay them much attention at all. Keep a log and make sure to reward yourself each time you see a little progress. This will go a long way in motivating you.

    Another tip that I used to do is find a photo of a hot guy online with your same bone structure and put it on your refrigerator door. Make sure you're the same body type and use this as inspiration to get fit.
  • rambi

    Posts: 60

    Feb 16, 2018 7:01 PM GMT
    You have the internet right here its 2018 just google new exercises for different muscle groups you want to build, if what you are doing now is NOT working for you try something new. Dont be intimidated by the other guys get out of your head, grab the light weights, and start off with proper form.

    Seperate your muscles into different days, Arms, Back, Chest, Legs.
    Whatever works for you.

    Meal Prep: buy healthy food- you can get something as simple as a bag of stir fry to eat with your lunch/dinner.
    Id also recommend to stop with the snacking if you do- try a protein bar to three a day.

    Have a cheat day, Have a rest day, the internets right there as a tool to answer almost any question, just a matter of you taking that knowledge, and putting in the time and dedication.
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    Feb 16, 2018 8:20 PM GMT
    That look seeming unattainable is the point!

    My goal is to be able to pull off the baggy sleeveless shirt look because it’s the most unflattering and unforgiving gym attire, showing every skin crease, fold and roll, for everyone but the ultra fit.

    (Also because that’s probably by far the most comfortable and well ventilated attire - I run hot and Miami gyms set their thermostats to 74 in JULY - but unless I look decent in baggy cut out sleeveless tees I’m not subjecting anyone to that look on me.)
  • X48384

    Posts: 25

    Feb 16, 2018 9:15 PM GMT
    HikerSkier saidNice to have eye candy around.

    Probably, to get in our best shape, it will take changing eating habits as well as exercise.


    Yeah, I obviously changed that too.
  • X48384

    Posts: 25

    Feb 16, 2018 9:16 PM GMT
    Radd saidYou live in Scranton, Pennsylvania. I highly doubt there were that many hot, ripped guys running around your gym. If you could be honest with yourself, you would also note that there were probably a LOT more out of shape guys waddling around. See the whole picture. But even if there were tons of hot guys.....why not use that as motivation? I guess I'm different but I have never felt inadequate around hot guys. I always feel inspired if anything, but most of the time I just don't pay them much attention at all. Keep a log and make sure to reward yourself each time you see a little progress. This will go a long way in motivating you.

    Another tip that I used to do is find a photo of a hot guy online with your same bone structure and put it on your refrigerator door. Make sure you're the same body type and use this as inspiration to get fit.


    Wow, why hating on Scranton? Have you been here? Kinda closed minded and arrogant that only hot guys can live in big cities.
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    Feb 16, 2018 9:54 PM GMT
    JScranton said
    HikerSkier saidNice to have eye candy around.

    Probably, to get in our best shape, it will take changing eating habits as well as exercise.

    Yeah, I obviously changed that too.

    Good! You do know it's gonna take a while? And most gym failures are due to lack of dedication, patience & perserverance. Nobody ever said it would be easy.

    Forget what the other guys look like today. They're your long-term goal. And hopefully a motivation, not a discouragement. You ain't gonna look like they do the day after you walk into the gym.

    At your age, though, it's attainable. I taught college phy ed for years, I know. You will get there if you stick with it, don't get discouraged, don't give up. I'll bet a few years ago at least some of those buff gym rats looked exactly like you do right now.
  • X48384

    Posts: 25

    Feb 16, 2018 10:03 PM GMT
    art_deco said
    JScranton said
    HikerSkier saidNice to have eye candy around.

    Probably, to get in our best shape, it will take changing eating habits as well as exercise.

    Yeah, I obviously changed that too.

    Good! You do know it's gonna take a while? And most gym failures are due to lack of dedication, patience & perserverance. Nobody ever said it would be easy.

    Forget what the other guys look like today. They're your long-term goal. And hopefully a motivation, not a discouragement. You ain't gonna look like they do the day after you walk into the gym.

    At your age, though, it's attainable. I taught college phy ed for years, I know. You will get there if you stick with it, don't get discouraged, don't give up. I'll bet a few years ago at least some of those buff gym rats looked exactly like you do right now.


    Thank you I appreciate your encouragement!
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    Feb 16, 2018 10:23 PM GMT
    JScranton said
    Thank you I appreciate your encouragement!

    You're very welcome! That's what this site is for, glad you found us. I see you're new here, so explore the whole place. Lots of good advice on diet and exercises to do.

    http://www.realjock.com/article/1164
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    Feb 16, 2018 11:33 PM GMT
    JScranton said
    Radd saidYou live in Scranton, Pennsylvania. I highly doubt there were that many hot, ripped guys running around your gym. If you could be honest with yourself, you would also note that there were probably a LOT more out of shape guys waddling around. See the whole picture. But even if there were tons of hot guys.....why not use that as motivation? I guess I'm different but I have never felt inadequate around hot guys. I always feel inspired if anything, but most of the time I just don't pay them much attention at all. Keep a log and make sure to reward yourself each time you see a little progress. This will go a long way in motivating you.

    Another tip that I used to do is find a photo of a hot guy online with your same bone structure and put it on your refrigerator door. Make sure you're the same body type and use this as inspiration to get fit.


    Wow, why hating on Scranton? Have you been here? Kinda closed minded and arrogant that only hot guys can live in big cities.



    Seriously? I gave you lots of great advice and the only thing you can focus on is being butthurt that I dissed Scranton? I'm starting to see why you're in this position.....you're hypersensitive as fuck.
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    Feb 17, 2018 3:23 AM GMT
    I guess a great deal of discouragement comes from frustrated unrealistic expectations. For example: why would you have the same expectations of a guy who has never been fat in his entire life?

    Don't sugarcoat reality: acknowledge your limitations and adjust your expectations accordingly.

    When I realized how much taller and skinnier I was when I started almost 10 years ago, I knew my journey would be longer than most, so I wasn't surprised that I was still skinny even after several years. I was happy just seeing my body composition stats improving, even when the mirror was still years away from giving any proof of that. All because at the beginning I wasn't afraid to realize I was in a pile of shit.

  • X48384

    Posts: 25

    Feb 17, 2018 6:32 AM GMT
    bachian saidI guess a great deal of discouragement comes from frustrated unrealistic expectations. For example: why would you have the same expectations of a guy who has never been fat in his entire life?

    Don't sugarcoat reality: acknowledge your limitations and adjust your expectations accordingly.

    When I realized how much taller and skinnier I was when I started almost 10 years ago, I knew my journey would be longer than most, so I wasn't surprised that I was still skinny even after several years. I was happy just seeing my body composition stats improving, even when the mirror was still years away from giving any proof of that. All because at the beginning I wasn't afraid to realize I was in a pile of shit.



    Thanks man, I can't get over the before and after pics. How the hell you do it?
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    Feb 17, 2018 7:06 AM GMT
    ^
    If this is a question on diet and training rather than the psychological part, my answer won't have any value for you! I've never been fat in my entire life and we have very different challenges.
  • JackNNJ

    Posts: 1536

    Feb 18, 2018 4:00 AM GMT
    Oil up and grind.
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    Feb 18, 2018 1:34 PM GMT
    A few tips: when I taught college phy ed I realized that just my saying to work harder was really not a motivation to my students. In college these (mostly) young people needed more sophisticated incentives. Plus I wanted them to exercise outside my gym floor, throughout the balance of the week, if they were gonna improve.

    So I computerized their weekly class performance. On my home Apple computer, because the University didn't yet have desktop computers for its professors in 1983. I'd print out and give them paper charts that showed their weekly individual standing using various parameters.

    Virtually expected today, back then it was kinda "gee whiz" hi-tech stuff. And the physchological aspect was how humans can be motivated. When my students saw their line charts of weekly strength progress, they wanted to push those lines higher.

    I didn't have to say a word, they motivated themselves, a basic competitive response, based on black & white visuals. But not against their classmates, whose charts they didn't see, but against themselves.

    And for years every one of my students left my course stronger & fitter than when they started, after just 1 semester. Therefore, consider charting your work, even just by hand.

    Another tip is to set obtainable goals for yourself. Setting the bar too high at first will discourage you, make you quit. Goals must always be realistic & reachable, and in this case progressive. And even the numbers aren't important.

    ANY weight loss, if it's consistent, is a success. Some bodies, some metabolisms, can lose weight faster than others. Setting a weekly or monthly pound loss is a formula for failure. Just so long as you are shedding weight. I'll bet your friends will see it before you do, and your clothes fit will confirm it.

    Last tip (for now) is to have a home scale to weigh yourself. Do it stripped before you shower, for consistency. I do it every day. I can track when I've eaten too much the day before. The scale doesn't have to be expensive doctor's office quality; what you're tracking is CHANGE, up or down.
  • Dom5

    Posts: 11

    Feb 19, 2018 12:28 PM GMT
    JScranton saidHey guys,

    At. the gym today and there were a lot of young fit guys there. They were wearing tee shirts with the arms and sides cut off so you can see all of their chest and stomachs and see how ripped they were. I was jealous but also it made me want to just give up. I didn't, I did my 5 miles not he elliptical, but it just made me feel like I can never get there. I know I will never look like them, but I feel like there is a monumental road ahead and just easy to get down.


    Lots of good advice here. Here's some things that help me:

    1. Some of those hot guys weren't always ripped. They worked. And they're still in the gym, working. So you have to work. Any great body you see has consistent effort installed into its regimen.

    2. Some of those hot guys ARE inspired by YOU. I know what it's taken me to get into the gym, I get demotivation, just wanting to give up...so when I see somebody who has a different journey than mine putting in work, it's great to see. I always get a surge of inspiration. If you feel intimidation, notice it, and notice you can replace that thought with another one that's more self promoting. Then you'll feel better. The you'll work better.

    3.If you're focused on how you feel about these guys, you're not focused on your body. To get ANNNYWHERE you gotta learn that if you're unhealthy, a lot of your body is on mute. You have to learn it. Tune in. Turn your focus inward. Mine was always outward, and to me, my body looked like it. Now I finally focus on my unique needs, and I've made more progress this year than I have in the 10+ years I've been pumping iron.

    4. Fuck the five miles. I'd say. Swim. Do something difficult, something that takes coordination, and provides resistance enough that your muscles gague and adapt but aren't overloaded.

    5. Stay out the mirror. Or if you can't, don't judge yourself based on appearances, but on an increased aptitude for the movements you are training.

    6. Put in positivity. I used to listen to motivational talks set to music when I needed to hear the things I could tell myself just yet. Ted talks are great too.

    7. Research EVERYTHING. Now I'm getting maybe carried away and off topic but fuck it. Health, body, obesity, stay away from men's magazines and supplements. Streamline your diet, research how when what to eat, be honestly with yourself about ALLL the shit you may need to give up for a decent while..few years..which is what it will take. Might sound long, but think about how fast time goes by when you ain't doing shit. Do something you'll be proud of, and do it because you're learning to love you, not just for beauty for beauty's sake. And fuck ANYBODY who will judge you for working on being a better you. They're literally an idiot.
  • Dom5

    Posts: 11

    Feb 19, 2018 12:36 PM GMT
    Radd said
    JScranton said
    Radd saidYou live in Scranton, Pennsylvania. I highly doubt there were that many hot, ripped guys running around your gym. If you could be honest with yourself, you would also note that there were probably a LOT more out of shape guys waddling around. See the whole picture. But even if there were tons of hot guys.....why not use that as motivation? I guess I'm different but I have never felt inadequate around hot guys. I always feel inspired if anything, but most of the time I just don't pay them much attention at all. Keep a log and make sure to reward yourself each time you see a little progress. This will go a long way in motivating you.

    Another tip that I used to do is find a photo of a hot guy online with your same bone structure and put it on your refrigerator door. Make sure you're the same body type and use this as inspiration to get fit.


    Wow, why hating on Scranton? Have you been here? Kinda closed minded and arrogant that only hot guys can live in big cities.



    Seriously? I gave you lots of great advice and the only thing you can focus on is being butthurt that I dissed Scranton? I'm starting to see why you're in this position.....you're hypersensitive as fuck.


    No FOO, you diss where anybody is from and they will likely take offense. This isn't a him ting. You diss where somebody is from before advising them after they've opened up about something sensitive and then expect them not to be sensitive is you needing either empathy or to revisit your motivations. I tink.