And the number of gay men who say they’ve cheated on their partners is…

  • metta

    Posts: 44773

    Feb 19, 2018 8:04 PM GMT
    And the number of gay men who say they’ve cheated on their partners is….

    "A new survey has found that the majority of gay men (52%) in monogamous relationships say they’ve cheated on their boyfriends or partners, with 45% of them saying their partners never found out."

    "Of the 52% of cheaters, 17% said they had picked up an STI while sneaking around–and 61% say they never told their partners about it.

    The number of gay men who say they’ve been cheated on themselves was even higher, with 58% of respondents saying a partner had been unfaithful.

    But those high numbers aren’t just limited to couples in monogamous relationships. 40% of respondents in open relationships reported that either they or their partner had broken the rules of that relationship at some point."

    https://www.queerty.com/number-gay-men-say-theyve-cheated-partners-20180218
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    Feb 19, 2018 9:06 PM GMT
    I'm not surprised by this. I've known plenty of cases of it.

    My late partner was literally killed by his own previous partner, due to cheating. The cheater contrated HIV and died of AIDS. But not before infecting my future partner with HIV, who also subsequently died. I knew he was poz when we met, but took the risk, always had safe sex.

    My current partner (whom I choose to call my husband) also lost his former partner to HIV he got due to cheating. But that guy had the courage, and decency, to admit that to my husband before he passed the infection along. Both of us remain negative to this day.

    I never cheat. Never have, never will. But I get no congrats for it, totally out of my control. I have this magical built-in automatic "switch", that turns off my wandering eye as soon as I have a guy. Whether a BF, LTR or partner, I don't even look.

    But when single, though, I switch back into full "hunt mode" as I call it. Well, used to, anyway, quite a bit old for it now. Doubt that switch would work anymore. And I'm happy with the guy I've got. Don't wanna mess with that. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Unity123

    Posts: 1922

    Feb 20, 2018 1:25 AM GMT
    Gay culture has always been decadent and libertine, and the end result leaves the individual damaged, depressed and alone.

    Traditional family values worked successfully for thousands of years. We abandoned that, so we now reap an endless parade of broken relationships, promiscuity, divorce, STD's, pornography, and other social ills.

    If you're gay and want to live a good life, you need to avoid EVERYTHING culturally related to the LGBT community. This includes gay media, books, magazines, TV shows, parades, gay ghettos, so called gay icons like Lady GaGa, or anything else that gives tacit approval of drug use, promiscuity, etc. This will rot your soul, and turn you into a degenerate.




  • northbeach

    Posts: 290

    Feb 20, 2018 4:36 AM GMT
    If a cheating boyfriend infected his partner with STDs, IMO it should be legally justifiable grounds for a murder of passion
  • MuchoMasQueMu...

    Posts: 1576

    Feb 20, 2018 6:39 AM GMT
    Straight people cheat too. I'd like to know what the statistics are for heterosexuals. You've all seen the stereotypical heterosexual relationship where men sleep around and have their mistresses on the side. And the tolerant wives look the other way.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 20, 2018 12:14 PM GMT
    MuchoMasQueMusculo saidStraight people cheat too. I'd like to know what the statistics are for heterosexuals. You've all seen the stereotypical heterosexual relationship where men sleep around and have their mistresses on the side. And the tolerant wives look the other way.



    So what if heterosexuals do!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 20, 2018 12:15 PM GMT
    S2Ki saidGay culture has always been decadent and libertine, and the end result leaves the individual damaged, depressed and alone.

    Traditional family values worked successfully for thousands of years. We abandoned that, so we now reap an endless parade of broken relationships, promiscuity, divorce, STD's, pornography, and other social ills.

    If you're gay and want to live a good life, you need to avoid EVERYTHING culturally related to the LGBT community. This includes gay media, books, magazines, TV shows, parades, gay ghettos, so called gay icons like Lady GaGa, or anything else that gives tacit approval of drug use, promiscuity, etc. This will rot your soul, and turn you into a degenerate.




    .;
    +100. Couldn't have said it better myself.
  • StevenKal

    Posts: 191

    Feb 20, 2018 8:35 PM GMT
    MuchoMasQueMusculo saidStraight people cheat too. I'd like to know what the statistics are for heterosexuals. You've all seen the stereotypical heterosexual relationship where men sleep around and have their mistresses on the side. And the tolerant wives look the other way.



    My childhood! My dad claimed years ago he's cheated on my mom four times (it could be more)! I've never been in a relationship, but if I ever find out if I have been cheated on, bye, Felicia!
  • northbeach

    Posts: 290

    Feb 21, 2018 2:56 AM GMT
    MuchoMasQueMusculo saidStraight people cheat too. I'd like to know what the statistics are for heterosexuals. You've all seen the stereotypical heterosexual relationship where men sleep around and have their mistresses on the side. And the tolerant wives look the other way.




    Of course straight people cheat too. Just a lot less

    http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2011/09/07/cheating_rates_decline_for_gay_and_straight_couples_alike_.html
    The rate of sex outside of the marriage has dropped for every category of people studied dramatically between 1975 and 2000. Twenty-eight percent of straight men in 1975 had sex with a woman outside of their marriage, but in 2000, it was only 10 percent. For straight, married women, the rate dropped from 23 percent to 14 percent. For gay men, 83 percent to 59 percent, and for lesbians, 28 percent to 8 percent.
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    Feb 21, 2018 4:47 AM GMT
    northbeach said
    MuchoMasQueMusculo saidStraight people cheat too. I'd like to know what the statistics are for heterosexuals. You've all seen the stereotypical heterosexual relationship where men sleep around and have their mistresses on the side. And the tolerant wives look the other way.




    Of course straight people cheat too. Just a lot less

    http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2011/09/07/cheating_rates_decline_for_gay_and_straight_couples_alike_.html
    The rate of sex outside of the marriage has dropped for every category of people studied dramatically between 1975 and 2000. Twenty-eight percent of straight men in 1975 had sex with a woman outside of their marriage, but in 2000, it was only 10 percent. For straight, married women, the rate dropped from 23 percent to 14 percent. For gay men, 83 percent to 59 percent, and for lesbians, 28 percent to 8 percent.


    Sex outside of marriage doesn’t equal cheating. Of all the gay couples I know who have been together >3 years, only one is monogamous. And you can cheat without having sex.
    If my man fucks some stranger he will never see again while on a business it wouldn’t faze me much. If he was confiding in someone and telling them things before he told me, it would bother me a lot.
  • mwolverine

    Posts: 5810

    Feb 21, 2018 7:36 AM GMT
    NEDC12 said
    MuchoMasQueMusculo saidStraight people cheat too. I'd like to know what the statistics are for heterosexuals. You've all seen the stereotypical heterosexual relationship where men sleep around and have their mistresses on the side. And the tolerant wives look the other way.


    So what if heterosexuals do!

    The question then changes from "gays" being under the microscope to "men".
    Assuming they cheat more than women.

    If that's the case, then it follows that infidelity in gay male couples (where both parties - men - are more prone to cheat) would be higher than amongst heterosexual couples.

    Aside from half a couple being female, other moderating influences could be the presence of children (much more common in heterosexual households).
  • PennsyGuy

    Posts: 2091

    Feb 22, 2018 12:34 AM GMT
    Never have. Never will.
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    Feb 22, 2018 12:50 AM GMT
    A vivid memory comes to mind from Reading this topic, which was from my training to be volunteer LGBT telephone counseller. Part of the training involved educating volunteers about not letting thier own values lead them to judge the plight of those seeking counselling. The specific example was given of a study compiled in the early 90’s (it was 1998 when I attended the training) which imperially longitudinally studied gay male relationships. The focus wasn’t exclusively about monogamy vs non monogamy but the findings for the first five years was that 92% of those relationships had engaged in sex outside of the primary relationship with or without the knowledge or consent of their partner. I was very young and it sure put a pessimistic perspective of what I could expect relationships wise into me.
  • Jubadiju

    Posts: 221

    Feb 22, 2018 10:26 PM GMT
    Holy moly, there is a lot of slut shaming here. Don't get confused between different behaviours. Being promiscuous is not the same thing as being dishonest.

    How about we look at why important conversations aren't happening? Why people, especially men, are afraid to communicate?

    People are not simple beings, with perfectly consistent ideas, values and behaviours. We're fucked up, glorious, multidimensional unicorns ;)

    I think we can agree though that making agreements, like monogamy for instance, and sticking to them is a generally good thing to do, for a person's own sense of authenticity, as well as obviously for the other party, and society in general. Especially when safety is involved, like with sexual health.
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    Feb 22, 2018 11:10 PM GMT
    PennsyGuy saidNever have. Never will.


    Yeah - that would be difficult for a person who does not exist.
  • NearTheBorder

    Posts: 65

    Feb 23, 2018 1:16 AM GMT
    Well I am not surprised at the number. The real number is probably higher. Though I never would do such a thing. It would betray a trust.
  • Ubeaut

    Posts: 243

    Feb 23, 2018 6:08 AM GMT
    I'd take the statistics from this survey with a pinch of salt.
    There is no discussion about:
    how people were selected to be part of the survey,
    the demographics of the survey respondents or
    what proportion of the participants completed the survey.
  • mybud

    Posts: 14219

    Feb 23, 2018 5:54 PM GMT
    StevenKal said
    MuchoMasQueMusculo saidStraight people cheat too. I'd like to know what the statistics are for heterosexuals. You've all seen the stereotypical heterosexual relationship where men sleep around and have their mistresses on the side. And the tolerant wives look the other way.



    My childhood! My dad claimed years ago he's cheated on my mom four times (it could be more)! I've never been in a relationship, but if I ever find out if I have been cheated on, bye, Felicia!
    Ditto..My father was a serial cheater...If you roll with me.. One cheat and you're out.