I don't want to be that guy

  • gymguy81

    Posts: 466

    Feb 24, 2018 3:05 AM GMT
    i feel like I'm being that super-insecure guy, there are a few VGL guys and i really think one is cute, and being its not a hugely known "gay " gym I'm very hesitant to ask him out Im not sure how to lead the conversation with out making it awkward.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 24, 2018 3:17 AM GMT
    In this day and age, I would say that if you don't recognize him on okcupid, Grindr or Scruff he's probably not gay (or at least not gay and single). You can always make friendly conversation nonetheless.
  • tonyatl

    Posts: 191

    Feb 24, 2018 5:01 AM GMT
    I agree with the poster who said not to assume that he is gay. I was burned once, So to speak, in such an assumption. First order of business is to find out if he is gay. Cart and horse thing.
  • gymguy81

    Posts: 466

    Feb 24, 2018 1:03 PM GMT
    Yeah I suck with finding out a guy is gay. He's quite lifts like 3 hours a day he's super nice. I has no clue
  • mybud

    Posts: 14209

    Feb 24, 2018 2:27 PM GMT
    gymguy81 saidYeah I suck with finding out a guy is gay. He's quite lifts like 3 hours a day he's super nice. I has no clue
    Sounds like a gym crush...millions of gay fish in the sea.
  • StevenKal

    Posts: 191

    Feb 24, 2018 5:07 PM GMT
    Yes, don't assume anything, but just because he's not active on a gay app doesn't mean shit (I don't have a gay app). Set your feelings aside and make a new friend. If he doesn't want to be friends that's his loss. You're a handsome guy, gymguy81. I wish I was your crush! Just saying! Good luck!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 24, 2018 5:41 PM GMT
    Ask him about his girlfriend. Back door so to speak.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 24, 2018 6:11 PM GMT
    IceBuckets saidAsk him about his girlfriend. Back door so to speak.


    Lol, no pun intended... icon_smile.gif
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 18403

    Feb 24, 2018 6:25 PM GMT
    Tshirtnjeansguy said
    IceBuckets saidAsk him about his girlfriend. Back door so to speak.


    Lol, no pun intended... icon_smile.gif
    What is your favorite color for a speedo? lol.
  • rambi

    Posts: 58

    Feb 24, 2018 7:27 PM GMT
    after a friendly chat you can introduce yourself "by the way im gymguy81 i usually see you at this time and maybe you can show interest by asking how long hes been..."

    after getting his name down, maybe you can get his number, but if not, you've got the name, and im sure you've got facebook.
  • bro4bro

    Posts: 2183

    Feb 24, 2018 7:39 PM GMT
    Walking up to a guy you don't know and asking him out, out of the blue, is not a good idea whether he's gay or str8.

    Say hi in the gym. Talk to him. See if your personalities seem to mesh. Figure out if he seems like someone you'd like to be friends with.

    If so, try this: "We should grab a beer (or coffee, or whatever) sometime." If he's not interested in that, it doesn't matter whether he's gay or not.

    And when you meet up for a beer or whatever, the next question would be: "So, are you dating anyone?"

    No need to rush any of this. You see him in the gym every day. He'll be there tomorrow... and the next day... and the next...
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1330

    Feb 25, 2018 4:32 AM GMT
    gymguy81 saidi feel like I'm being that super-insecure guy, there are a few VGL guys and i really think one is cute, and being its not a hugely known "gay " gym I'm very hesitant to ask him out Im not sure how to lead the conversation with out making it awkward.


    Being insecure is not something to to be ashamed about!
    when you face the unknown, and God knows meeting
    someone new, always makes even the most confident
    of us insecure on how things will turn out! so my friend
    don't be fooled by those who played you into the confident
    and sure of himself personality/date. I perceive a person's
    insecurity as a good sign, and a great challenge to explore
    more about their feelings and mine. Insecure people are
    basically just too anxious and excited for been accepted as
    they are, and that is ok, and fits just fine with me! besides
    I love a date or an acquaintance when they show their
    vulnerabilities vs those who hide it by pretending to be
    something they are not!

    One good word of advice thou; stay away from anyone who
    criticize you for being insecure, as it was a bad thing!?
    because if he was wise and well intended, instead of finding
    faults in it will try to understand where your insecurities come
    from!

    Sometimes an insecure person all they need to build up
    confidence is finding someone who understands, that like a
    plant some of us need a lot of light while others can grow
    just as good and high up the tree top in its shadows!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 25, 2018 11:06 PM GMT
    Start out with a little friendly conversation. It doesn't have to be that hard. The worst thing he could do is say no. Maybe ask him what he does differently at the gym in terms of lifting weights then what you've been doing. And if you feel like things are going good, then ask him out for a cup of coffee.