How do you get out of your own head?

  • PrinceOfKeys

    Posts: 37

    Mar 06, 2018 4:47 AM GMT
    Hey guys. I am really struggling right now.

    I'm just gonna put what is going on in my head in to bullet points:
    1: I keep comparing myself to others and finding ways to come up short
    2: I keep having thoughts of hopelessness, worthlessness, uselessness, and just a lot of "lessnesses".
    3: I genuinely feel like I just don't matter.
    4: I am approaching 2 years of sobriety for an addiction that could have killed me or just destroyed my health. my mind (and my dreams if I sleep) is basically tempting me to relapse.
    5: The reason I developed that addiction was because I was highly suicidal and it was like a distraction/alternative to suicide attempts. I am not going to do anything and none of this feels like back when I was making attempts. I just feel like the same "voice" that wants me to relapse is whispering to me to end it all too.

    6: While there is all of this happening in my head...there's another part of me that is just angry that I feel this way. I know 1-5 are wastes of mental space, time, and energy...but they are just so damn strong and present.

    I just want to get out of my head and I could use all the advice I can get from anyone that can relate.

    Thank you.
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    Mar 06, 2018 5:21 AM GMT

  • Apparition

    Posts: 4063

    Mar 06, 2018 6:46 AM GMT
    get a dog (an old one)
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    Mar 06, 2018 7:33 AM GMT
    Find something you enjoy, force yourself to stop thinking the "bad" thoughts, and think of the enjoyable thing/concept instead.

    Try meditation.
  • 24hourguy

    Posts: 483

    Mar 06, 2018 2:58 PM GMT
    Do something for someone else; helping others always helps me get out of my head.
    Therapy (I should probably take my own advise on this).
    You mentioned sobriety, so if you're not already regularly attending 12-step recovery meetings and working a program of recovery it may be a good idea. It can be helpful to be part of a community of people with a similar "crazy" who are also working toward a common solution.
    Remember, nothing is forever. Thoughts pass. Feelings pass. Alcoholics/addicts tend to forget that.
  • bro4bro

    Posts: 2193

    Mar 06, 2018 4:58 PM GMT
    Get out of the house and do something active and physically challenging, preferably with a goal you can focus on and work toward. Maybe training to run a race, or taking a martial arts class, anything that will involve you physically to the point where your mind is completely engaged in performing the task at hand. During your down times, focus your thoughts on your training and your goal.

  • Mar 06, 2018 5:26 PM GMT
    One Go to a meeting
    Two Go to a gym and exercise until your sweating a lot.
    Three Take a long shower
    Four Go to a quiet place and Meditate, Ohmmm

    in that order
  • Unity123

    Posts: 1922

    Mar 06, 2018 6:44 PM GMT
    Write down a recurring negative or self defeating thought on a sheet of paper. Then below, write down whatever thought you want to see happen, along with why or how you can make it happen. Read and write it over every day.

    When the negative thought comes up, your job is to cue the positive thought and action plan. Like if say “I suck at golf,” I can replace that with, “I hit a long ball, but I need to visit the practice range to better my accuracy. Then, follow through on my commitment to do just that!! This is far better than remaining in any situation that doesn’t make me happy.

    99% of life is having a positive outlook, and backing that up with some type of game plan.

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    Mar 06, 2018 7:15 PM GMT
    Seems like all the points are caused by point 7 that you didn't mention here. You boosted it with an addiction to some sh*t which only made things worse.
    See a specialist and figure out what is hidden under 7. Then bury it and start a new life.
  • transient

    Posts: 472

    Mar 06, 2018 9:49 PM GMT
    Metaprogramming your subconscious through reinforced positive thinking abd recognising and accepting the negative thought but reinforce it with the positive aspect.

    Train your mind to.accept only the great and good.
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    Mar 07, 2018 12:58 AM GMT
    Comparing yourself to other people is not a problem. Coming up short on this comparison isn't a problem either.

    Why do you need to be better than someone in whatever regard to respect yourself? Why do you need to have this or that quality in order to love yourself? Those are the real questions.

    Self-esteem and self-love should be orthogonal: you should see yourself as you truly are, flaws included. Know where you stand in the world, however low that place may be. Whatever you realize after that should have no effect on how much you love yourself. Loving yourself at all times doesn't mean you have an inflated view of yourself, actually it's the opposite: only people who love themselves unconditionally are capable of seeing themselves as they really are because they don't need to fabricate qualities they don't have in order to deserve that love. Hating yourself doesn't make you a better person. Having a realistic view of yourself does. Standing up for yourself does.

    You can be betrayed by your parents, forsaken by your friends, be a loser to the world, but at the end of the day, the one person who will never betray you, the one who will always be there for you when everybody is gone is YOU. For the sake of argument, even if you were worthless to the world as you think you are, even if you were a total loser, that should make no difference: you were thrown in this cutthroat arena called life, you will have no second chance and you deserve to make the best of it through whatever means you can find. No one can take that right from you.
  • Genre

    Posts: 11

    Mar 09, 2018 6:54 PM GMT
    PrinceOfKeys said
    1: I keep comparing myself to others and finding ways to come up short

    The cycle of comparing yourself to other people, is an never ending cycle. The game where we compare our self to others, is a game we can never win. The person who is satisfied with what they have, is the person who is the happiest.

    I think its great to want to improve your quality of life, but if you are doing it and you are not seeing the value in what you have. I feel that is a mistake. But if you strive and see the value in what you have... I think that's fine. Look/think about the things you have... your health, time to spend with your family & friends, chasing a new dream or hobby. Don't focus on other people... you may be writing a new chapter in your story, when they are on chapter 20. You cant lose heart that they are ahead of you. You have to run your own race, at your own pace. Do you! icon_wink.gif

    I think a few of the guys have posted some great ideas, but I know to go and do the things they said, "It's easier said than done." So I am going to focus on the other main topic of your post, "Getting out of my head."

    I used to be really shy, to the point where I hated to go to public events, parties, or even just meeting new people. I would have similar thoughts I feel you are having. I have to say it all pointed in the direction of lack of confidence... and I really didn't know how to get confidence. How do you get confidence for just existing?!? So I read.... a lot, books are my best friend. I came across this article some where (I'd link it but I can't remember), it had tips for you to get out of the cycle of being in your head. The trick is focus, to focus on 5 things that are physical. You can do it by looking around your environment.... however, that made me withdraw even more. As a solution, I created a ring(One you would wear around your finger). It has 5 different textures on it. Smooth, rough, round, raised, engraved... you get the point. By having this small ring in my hand, it took my focus, getting me out of my head. Now it took time, it wasn't a magic fix but it was something that got me over the hump and allowed me to open the door to new things and new people.

    In the end, everything you go through in life helps shape the person you are and has value. You may not see it but your story can inspire someone who is going through what you have. So don't even think these thoughts of "hopelessness, worthlessness, uselessness" are true. Hopefully my story proves just that.
    Nothing is for not. icon_wink.gif

    Hope this helps.
  • mybud

    Posts: 14219

    Mar 10, 2018 4:56 PM GMT
    A cranium saw....