Is it rude or wrong to hook up with someone while visiting a friend out of town?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 25, 2009 2:04 PM GMT
    Do you think its rude or wrong if you go out of town to visit a friend and you hook up with someone and go home with them?

  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Feb 25, 2009 2:07 PM GMT
    Depends on how it's done
    If you're with the friend you're visiting and you ditch him for a f**k?
    Yeah .... then you're douche
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 25, 2009 2:09 PM GMT
    nope, mine friends expect me too and encourage me to do it also.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 25, 2009 2:50 PM GMT
    sfinboston saidnope, mine friends expect me too and encourage me to do it also.


    so when you go visit your friends they encourage you to go away? hmmm, that's interesting! icon_lol.gif
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    Feb 25, 2009 2:53 PM GMT
    nope...they just like to make sure I have a very good time while visiting. They will usually even pick a couple of guys for me.
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    Feb 25, 2009 3:12 PM GMT
    I think most of it is between you and your friend. One if he is a friend never just ditch him for a fuck. However you can talk to him about this guy that wants to take you home. See how he feels. Let's be honest friendship is far more important than a fuck.

    If he is a gay guy chances are he will encourage you to go for it. Maybe ask you to be back by a certain time to do brunch or something.

    I know Im going out of town this weekend to visit a friend, and I can assure you if a handsoem hunk asks I'm going to go for it. Yet I'm going to make sure my friend is ok too.
  • gsh1964

    Posts: 388

    Feb 25, 2009 3:35 PM GMT
    Nope.
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    Feb 25, 2009 3:36 PM GMT
    I don't think it's rude at all. It's not like you are trading your friends just to have a good time. I'm sure at some point in time they have probably done it too. Even if you ditch a friend just to have sex that can easily be remedied because any good friend will understand, probably be a bit miffed, but will still understand. It happens.

    Fact of the matter is you are an adult and are free to do as you please with whomever you please. Your friends don't have a say so in the matter. As long as you don't violate trust between your friends and don't overstep any boundaries with them or your "I'm just visiting" fling then I say go for it. Just use your best judgement in the situation.

    If they are good friends they will understand and properly have some jokes to crack the next day. When visiting it's a right to have fun and yourfriends should want to help you accomplish that, right?
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    Feb 25, 2009 3:41 PM GMT
    I think every situation is different. If this is a friend you haven't seen for a long time and you are spending more time trying to hook up, then yes it's rude.

    Other situations would make it okay. I personally would be a little pissy if a friend did that too me while they were visiting. Unless of course they needed it real bad! lol
  • justinlee86

    Posts: 501

    Feb 25, 2009 3:47 PM GMT
    depends on the friend I guess. some of my friends would try to get me to hook up and some just want to spend time with me. also depends on what setting your friend is taking you to.
  • nv7_

    Posts: 1453

    Feb 25, 2009 3:49 PM GMT
    I don't know about your friend(s), but if you're in a "monogamous relationship", someone else may mind.

    I'm just sayin'. icon_cool.gif
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    Feb 25, 2009 4:08 PM GMT
    nv7_ saidI don't know about your friend(s), but if you're in a "monogamous relationship", someone else may mind.

    I'm just sayin'. icon_cool.gif


    Glad someone else noticed that "listing" too.
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    Feb 25, 2009 4:28 PM GMT
    I've had friends come visit me, some who stay with me others who have stayed in hotels, and in each case they've either gone home with someone or taken them back to their hotel. I don't find that rude at all. If you're a true friend, it really shouldn't matter to you.
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    Feb 25, 2009 4:32 PM GMT
    Depends on your relationship with your friend and your understanding.

    If you are supposed to be visiting your friend, as a house guest, then to ditch him without a word or discussion of what you are doing and his approval that is being a douche. But even then, it depends on the relationship. A friend may give consent so as not to interfere but be hurt or put out because it wasnt his understanding of your visit.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Feb 25, 2009 4:37 PM GMT
    I really can't imagine doing it.

    If I had a friend visiting and we went out, if they met someone I don't think I'd mind. If they were trolling on Craigslist, I might be miffed.
  • FrontRowIn

    Posts: 133

    Feb 25, 2009 5:00 PM GMT
    This is one is a real case by case thing.
  • Koaa2

    Posts: 1556

    Feb 25, 2009 5:05 PM GMT
    Depends on your arrangement.

    A three way might be possible, than isn't a problem!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 25, 2009 5:19 PM GMT
    It's not clear to me exactly what's happening in this case. I've hosted guys from out of town, and if we go out together I ask him beforehand how we'll handle different contingencies, if he gets lucky.

    First, I'm all for a guy hooking up, if that's what he wants, and I'll cooperate within reason to help him have a good time while he's staying with me (but neither am I a pimp). But I'll need a way to get home myself if we go out in his car, or if in my car then he needs to make sure the hook-up can get him back to my place later, if they're gonna be out all night.

    He can't bring a stranger into my home in the middle of the night (that's just my personal rule, maybe a bit harsh but based on safety), but daytime's not a problem if I'm home, too. And no, I have no desire to watch or get involved, especially now that I'm partnered again.

    But, if he led me to believe this was going to be our "friends night out" together, and he suddenly left me high and dry for a trick he stumbled across, I might not be so understanding. So what was your case, redbull?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 25, 2009 5:35 PM GMT
    If you're going out of town to visit a friend it doesn't reflect well on how much you value the friendship to vanish as soon as a more titillating opportunity comes up. It also puts extra burdens on your friend, e.g., what does he do with the rest of his evening, does he have to come and retrieve you afterwards, and what happens if you don't reappear within a reasonable time?
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    Feb 25, 2009 5:36 PM GMT
    Sure doesn't speak well to your manners.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 25, 2009 9:41 PM GMT
    bleh, tell him to get over it already.

    its just a hookup. like you go out of town and are expected to be with your friend every waking moment? stop being such a girl.

    you went out, and you got laid, he didn't...

    if he didn't want you to hookup, he should have taken you someplace where you wouldn't hookup...

    like the RNC convention.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 25, 2009 10:13 PM GMT
    GQjock saidDepends on how it's done
    If you're with the friend you're visiting and you ditch him for a f**k?
    Yeah .... then you're douche


    AMEN!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 25, 2009 10:51 PM GMT
    nv7_ saidI don't know about your friend(s), but if you're in a "monogamous relationship", someone else may mind.

    I'm just sayin'. icon_cool.gif



    this was a situation I had been in before my relationship. I was just thinking about it the other day. Just wanted to get opinions thats all.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 25, 2009 10:53 PM GMT
    I don't believe so as long as you weren't a douche and blew your friend off for dick!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 26, 2009 9:09 PM GMT

    Wait a second here, don't you have a man...or have I missed a recent forum post of yours? icon_confused.gif