To all the college edumacated brains

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    Feb 25, 2009 8:29 PM GMT
    To all you college edumacated brains. Did I get this right?

    Political Science for Dummies

    DEMOCRAT
    You have two cows.
    Your neighbor has none.
    You feel guilty for being successful.You push for higher taxes so the government can provide cows for everyone.

    REPUBLICAN
    You have two cows.
    Your neighbor has none.
    So?

    SOCIALIST
    You have two cows.
    The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
    You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

    COMMUNIST
    You have two cows.
    The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
    You wait in line for hours to get it.
    It is expensive and sour.

    CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
    You have two cows.
    You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

    BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
    You have two cows.
    Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.

    AMERICAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
    You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
    Your stock goes up.

    FRENCH CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You go on strike because you want three cows.
    You go to lunch and drink wine..


    JAPANESE CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
    They learn to travel.
    Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

    GERMAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
    Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

    ITALIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
    You break for lunch.
    Life is good.

    RUSSIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You have some vodka.
    You count them and learn you have five cows.
    You have some more vodka.
    You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
    The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have..

    TALIBAN CORPORATION
    You have all the cows in Afghanistan , which are two.
    You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
    You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.

    IRAQI CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    They go into hiding.
    They send radio tapes of their mooing.

    POLISH CORPORATION
    You have two bulls.
    Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

    BELGIAN CORPORATION
    You have one cow.
    The cow is schizophrenic.
    Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
    The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
    The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
    The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
    The cow dies happy.

    FLORIDA CORPORATION
    You have a black cow and a brown cow.
    Everyone votes for the best looking one.
    Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.
    Some people vote for both.
    Some people vote for neither.
    Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
    Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.

    CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
    You have millions of cows.
    They make real California cheese.
    Only five speak English.
    Most are illegal.
    Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 25, 2009 9:31 PM GMT
    just about!

    (for the non americans/those not used to USA stereotypes, the polish are seen as generally stupid, rather like Irish jokes in the UK)
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    Feb 25, 2009 9:39 PM GMT
    Kinda makes me want to work for an Italian corporation, haha icon_lol.gif
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    Feb 25, 2009 11:21 PM GMT
    Haha that was great icon_biggrin.gif
    No Canadian one icon_sad.gif
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    Feb 25, 2009 11:23 PM GMT
    Actually in a satirical way that is pretty accurate!
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    Feb 25, 2009 11:27 PM GMT
    This was funny the first time it was passed around ten years ago
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    Feb 25, 2009 11:46 PM GMT
    Too Funny!!
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    Feb 25, 2009 11:52 PM GMT
    LOL exactly how it works.
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    Feb 25, 2009 11:53 PM GMT
    That is some funny SHIT! ROFLLMFAO.
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    Feb 25, 2009 11:54 PM GMT
    Funny...
    now I just wish I actually had two of the cows... but then I would have to decide which economic plan I wanted to follow... (Taliban plan doesn't seem too bad, but can I change the weapons to shoes?)
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    Feb 25, 2009 11:59 PM GMT
    Dave_F saidHaha that was great icon_biggrin.gif
    No Canadian one icon_sad.gif

    The canadian one moved to the US because there was a bigger market for its milk.

    kitty
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    Feb 26, 2009 12:07 AM GMT
    Caslon9000 said
    Dave_F saidHaha that was great icon_biggrin.gif
    No Canadian one icon_sad.gif

    The canadian one moved to the US because there was a bigger market for its milk.

    kitty


    Just don't get the mad cow.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Feb 26, 2009 12:14 AM GMT
    Very funny indeed. Thanks for sharing John.

    icon_biggrin.gif
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    Feb 26, 2009 12:31 AM GMT

    HUM....YOU GOT A RESUME MAN?
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    Feb 26, 2009 12:38 AM GMT
    Dave_F said
    Caslon9000 said
    Dave_F saidHaha that was great icon_biggrin.gif
    No Canadian one icon_sad.gif

    The canadian one moved to the US because there was a bigger market for its milk.

    kitty


    Just don't get the mad cow.

    No problem, we have our own president. We dont need your PM ... icon_wink.gif
  • Aquanerd

    Posts: 845

    Feb 26, 2009 12:53 AM GMT
    Dave_F saidHaha that was great icon_biggrin.gif
    No Canadian one icon_sad.gif


    Canadian Corporation.

    You have two cows. The Government tells you how much milk you can produce and when. So when you are in need of milk, and it's not your turn you take a vacation across the border so you can get the milk when you need it.icon_cool.gif
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    Feb 26, 2009 1:05 AM GMT
    I Understand teh Belgian one,
    its so fitting.
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    Feb 26, 2009 1:06 AM GMT
    Funny well satirized shit!
  • imperator

    Posts: 626

    Feb 26, 2009 2:06 AM GMT
    EVIL DICTATORSHIP

    You have a cow.
    The Leader takes your cow.
    The Leader makes you milk the cow, and sells the milk.
    The Leader shoots the cow.
    The Leader shoots you.
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    Feb 26, 2009 2:19 AM GMT
    I'm moving to Italy!!

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    Feb 26, 2009 2:37 AM GMT
    yeah, very cool list. I saw the actual poster with cow pictures!
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    Feb 26, 2009 3:15 AM GMT
    Im going Capitalism: American style, i really want a new truck right now icon_biggrin.gif
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    Feb 26, 2009 5:06 AM GMT
    SUPREME GALACTIC COMMAND

    You have two cows,
    They get probed.
    Earth will be mine.
    Humans go extinct.
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    Feb 26, 2009 5:17 AM GMT
    BANKER

    Banker has one cow.
    You want a cow.
    Banker sells you milk, tells you its a cow.
    Sells everyone milk, tells them all they are cows.
    Everyone plays along.
    Banker charges interest on milk.
    Interest rates go up.
    Banker takes your milk back, along with your car, house and belongings.
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    Feb 26, 2009 5:49 AM GMT
    Haha so true on the Italian Corporation stereotype.

    I went to Milan to visit family and we stopped at a pizza shop to grab some lunch. They had no pizza. Why? The pizza guy decided not to come to work today. It was no big deal to them and they told us to come back tomorrow!