PDA ALERT

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 27, 2009 6:27 PM GMT
    I had gotten into a conversation with a friend of mine about PDA because we saw a straight couple making out in a restaurant booth. I had made a comment in passing about how they should get a room and my friend said "your just jealous because you can't do that." The comment really bugged me because I just don't think it's necessary to make out in a public place and it didn't have to do with the fact that I'm gay. The more I thought about it the more it started to bug me sooooo....

    I'm just curious what you guys think about public displays of affection.

    Do you think it's not macho to hold hands with your lover??
    Is that too "gay" for you?
    Are you secure enough in your gayness to kiss in public??
    Is it a private thing to you?
    Do you feel there is a time and a place?
    Do you enjoy PDA's?

    Let me know guys.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 27, 2009 6:42 PM GMT
    There are PDAs and there are PDAs. Holding hands is one thing, passionately French kissing is another.

    I live in the Fort Lauderdale-Wilton Manors area of Florida, so my partner & I can hold hands in public without it raising eyebrows. But neither would we ever publicly engage in the kind of behavior you appear to be describing for that straight couple.

    To me it's less about straight versus gay, than about good taste & propriety. Heavy suck-face in public is never acceptable.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 27, 2009 8:07 PM GMT
    I agree whole heartedly that's why I was shocked at what my friend said. Oh and I love Ft Lauderdale. I have family there and try to get to the beach as much as possible. Hit the beach this weekend for me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 27, 2009 8:17 PM GMT
    Stolenname saidI agree whole heartedly that's why I was shocked at what my friend said. Oh and I love Ft Lauderdale. I have family there and try to get to the beach as much as possible. Hit the beach this weekend for me.

    Wish I could, but the weekend's already totally committed. Tonight we attend the Gay Men's Chorus performing in Miami, tomorrow is hosting some friends from out of town, and Sunday is the Stars of the Rainbow gay fundraiser gala, for which we'll spend the whole day getting "pretty" and need all our geriatric strength for a long night of partying & dancing.

    Is your family literally in Fort Lauderdale? We should meet some time. Please email me when you're here next, we'll see what mischief I can arrange for you. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 27, 2009 10:28 PM GMT
    My sister's a lesbian and often and offensively goes the PDA. I never miss an opportunity to tell her to look around and see how many other people are behaving like them. Invariably it's no one. I don't think sexuality should stop a PDA, but I do think good taste needs to step up to the mark.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Feb 27, 2009 11:49 PM GMT
    Holding hands and a kiss is fine but when it goes past that
    it's a bit on the TMI side
    Gay str8 or whatever ..... do I really need to see you exchanging body fluids when I'm on my way to StarBucks icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 27, 2009 11:58 PM GMT
    I say if you can, do it and own it.

    I may get hit by a bus when i cross the street. So make the most of it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 28, 2009 3:22 AM GMT

    This is kind of a charged subject for me. So please excuse the longish post.

    Almost two years ago I was having dinner with a boyfriend at a really romantic inn in Massachusetts. I saw a straight couple nearby enjoy a G-rated but obviously heartfelt kiss. I sooooooo wanted to kiss the guy I was with, but I had a sense that it would attract attention or make other people uncomfortable. When dinner was over we had some great kisses in the car and I told my bf what I was thinking in the restaurant. He seemed to agree that not kissing in the restaurant was a good call, but that the whole situation is pretty unfair.

    Skip ahead to this summer and a different bf. We had spent a great day at a local beach. On the way home we stopped at a busy ice cream stand. There were tons of straight couples there, plenty exchanging quick kisses, embraces, standing with arms around each other, etc.

    I wasn't even aware of what I had done, when this frat boy looking kid charged toward me yelling. It was then that I realized I had slipped my arm around my bf's waist and we had had been like that for at least several minutes. Luckily my brain worked fast enough for me to step away from by bf and toward the jerk. He stopped and more or less screamed, "What the fuck is your problem, you fucking fags?". As stunned and scared as I was, I think I was more angry than anything. I never took my eyes away from his and answered, "I have no problem. But, if you don't step away right now, you're going to have some medical problems".

    The guy looked me up and down and at the crowd of people staring at him and he backed off, said a bunch of stuff I didn't catch and walked quickly back to his truck. At the time I was amazed that he backed off, but in hindsight he may have read my vehemence. It occurred to me that he might come back with some friends, a Louisville slugger or a gun so I kept my eyes in the direction he walked until I saw him drive off. Meanwhile a bunch of people in the line had their cell phones out and were offering to call the police, etc. They also were verbally very supportive. All I could do was thank them and tell my bf that I thought we should probably go. I was pretty collected until we got back to his car. Then I kind of lost it from a combination of relief and outrage. I know it was just adrenaline talking but I actually felt like I wanted a fight. It took me hours to settle down.

    That incident was a kind of tipping point for me. My bf and I talked it over a lot and he was with me in thinking that when were in places where gay couples just aren't a novelty - i.e. most of New England, New York and California, we would let the spirits move us as they might and deal with any consequences. (For the record, there never were any more.) I just don't accept that it is my responsibility to make homophobes comfortable. That said, I wouldn't be comfortable with more than some hand holding, brief kisses, hugs, etc.

    The bf that the ice cream stand thing happened with and I stopped seeing each other (for unrelated reasons) at the end of last year.

    So going forward I guess the PDA thing is one of those things to sort out with other guys I date. Since we need to be on similar pages regarding comfort and risk.

    I have no interest in being a martyr to my cause, but, on the other hand, I feel as entitled to bond with my lover as any straight person might feel to bond with theirs. And, yes, if I had to, I would fight for it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 01, 2009 6:39 AM GMT
    I try to mind my own business when it comes to that sort of thing. I think there's a fine line between showing your affection for one another, and puffing out your chest and showing off which is what I think deep french kissing in public is. It's really just not necessary to get that deep into someone's face when you're at a mall, park, movie, sporting event or wherever the Heck people who actually date go.

    That's a scary story flieslikeabeagle...I'm glad the guy was just puffing his chest and sqwawking a little, and you and your boyfriend weren't hurt.