Gay Leather scene: Just a little over the top?

  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Feb 28, 2009 7:24 PM GMT
    A friend sent me this clip and ask me if I thought it was over the top.
    I suppose to each his own... but I find this a pretty dark and disturbing....

    Where's the riding crop?

    Does bs like this really go on or is this just crap?


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    Feb 28, 2009 9:44 PM GMT
    Sure it goes on, both privately and in clubs I've attended. I've watched floggings, and elaborate rope bondage, hot waxing, etc. Some of our friends are very big into the heavy leather scene, have all kinds of BDSM toys in their home, racks and whatnot. Does nothing for us, but some guys like it.
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    Feb 28, 2009 9:48 PM GMT
    Red_Vespa saidSure it goes on, both privately and in clubs I've attended. I've watched floggings, and elaborate rope bondage, hot waxing, etc. Some of our friends are very big into the heavy leather scene, have all kinds of BDSM toys in their home, racks and whatnot. Does nothing for us, but some guys like it.


    in SF, there was a sex club, that hosted both gay and st8, 2 floors for st8 and 2 floors for gays. It was amazing to see that st8 people did the same thing that gays did and people are just people. Some people like plain ole sex and others like it wild and edgy.
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    Feb 28, 2009 10:38 PM GMT
    It goes on, but I choose to stay as far away as possible.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Feb 28, 2009 11:12 PM GMT
    I wonder how the chuckster would view a slave such as this one? LOL
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    Feb 28, 2009 11:41 PM GMT
    The pain aspect in BDSM seems designed to cause sensory overload particularly in the pain receptors, with a reciprocal rush of endorphins. Once the pain stops, the endorphin rush may remain residually, enhancing the pleasurable experience of sex.

    Role-playing is a device to encourage participants to engage in behaviors their "normal" self is too inhibited to explore. "I'm not really a pig--I'm an investment banker--but on Saturday evenings I get to be somebody's coffee table."
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    Feb 28, 2009 11:46 PM GMT
    This stuff really does go on sometimes. Some friends took me to a weird spa one time and we walked by a room with a big hammock type thing and a guy was in it - all tied up with a gag - naked - and a bunch of other guys (all pretty hot by the way) were rubbing oil on him and pulling on his balls; putting pincher things on his nips; and probing his ass with a huge dildo. The guy in the hammock was squirming and totally into it. The lighting, pounding rage music and all was a trip. I had never seen anything like this in my life. No way was I going in that room!
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    Mar 01, 2009 12:22 AM GMT
    Jockbod48 saidThis stuff really does go on sometimes. Some friends took me to a weird spa one time and we walked by a room with a big hammock type thing and a guy was in it - all tied up with a gag - naked - and a bunch of other guys (all pretty hot by the way) were rubbing oil on him and pulling on his balls; putting pincher things on his nips; and probing his ass with a huge dildo. The guy in the hammock was squirming and totally into it. The lighting, pounding rage music and all was a trip. I had never seen anything like this in my life. No way was I going in that room!




    So, where is this place? Have directions?
    icon_twisted.gif
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    Mar 01, 2009 1:23 AM GMT
    mickeytopogigio saidRole-playing is a device to encourage participants to engage in behaviors their "normal" self is too inhibited to explore. "I'm not really a pig--I'm an investment banker--but on Saturday evenings I get to be somebody's coffee table."


    I like to go to this club in Paris, because it was frequented by Foucault, who supposedly hatched all his theories about bdsm and non-genital sex there:

    http://www.kellers.fr/

    One night I was there and sat down on a lumpy chair near the front. It groaned and shifted -- turned out to be a guy bound in some kinda rubber tape to a chair frame. I ruined the moment by reverting to my PeeWee Herman persona. ("Chairy!")

    Pee-wee-Chairy.jpg

    SFinBostonin SF, there was a sex club, that hosted both gay and st8, 2 floors for st8 and 2 floors for gays. It was amazing to see that st8 people did the same thing that gays did and people are just people. Some people like plain ole sex and others like it wild and edgy


    There was a similar club in Atlanta but there was no segregation of gender or sexual orientation. That's one of the points that Foucault (mentioned above) made: By shifting the erogenous from the strictly genital to other areas of the body, you could potentially render gender of the partner irrelevant.

  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Mar 01, 2009 1:26 AM GMT
    In a gay sauna of Singapore , you can see a room with this kind of sado-machismo equipment/devices ready for people to participate in it. But I have not see anyone actually using it (probably I was there during a different time). There those chain, prison like grill door, a platform where somebody can get their hand tie over thier head.

    I have sex with one guy who ask me to kick his ball and chew is penis , once. It was really weird . But so do those other nasty stuff like fisting, urinating over someone (golden shower), slave/master, daddy/son and other strange behaviour.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Mar 01, 2009 1:26 AM GMT
    bonnet.gif
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    Mar 01, 2009 1:42 AM GMT
    HndsmKansan saidA friend sent me this clip and ask me if I thought it was over the top.
    I suppose to each his own... but I find this a pretty dark and disturbing....

    Where's the riding crop?

    Does bs like this really go on or is this just crap?




    I can tell you from experience that it does go on --- and it's not bs. It's BDSM! hehe ;) What's that old saying? Don't knock it 'til you try it. In this case, don't knock it if you don't understand it. Power play and all that it revolves around is not just porn fantasy. It's a special connection that goes above and beyond that of any regular relationship.

    It hinges on trust, confidence, and skill. I wouldn't play out a scene with anyone I didn't know and trust on a personal level. If I felt someone wasn't competent in what they were doing, I won't start a scene with them. If we were in a scene and something felt "off", I have stopped a scene.

    And don't think "submissive" means the person in that role has no power. You could say, subs have all the power because if the sub says no, then the Dom isn't getting anything. And if a Dom tries to force a scene, then s/he shouldn't be a Dom and the sub should run like hell.

    And it's not about sex at all. I have scenes where sex was not the objective at all. The Dom and/or sub could just need to fulfill that role within themselves, need a form of release other than the purely physical, or simply want to roleplay. A scene to me is not achieve sexual orgasm but to (hopefully) reach that level of thought/emotion which is referred to headspace.

    You want to get high, then put down the hooka and the beer bottle and trust someone to get you to headspace. It's the greatest thing in the world. Call it what you want - endorphins, euphoria, nirvana, whatever - headspace is just plain awesome. ;)

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    Mar 01, 2009 1:50 AM GMT
    does nothing for me, big turn off actually. it's too elaborate for my taste, and the whole leather outfit/harness/costumes and props are just ridiculous to me.
    so at best, it'd give me a laugh.
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    Mar 01, 2009 1:53 AM GMT
    When I first returned to the DC area from graduate school, I used to go to the leather bar here: The Eagle. I went cuz they played c-w music in the back bar.

    Lots of guys there were dressed in their denim and leather, looking all tough. ...til you looked closer and saw their perfect hair cuts....you knew right away they were all in suits all week long and this was their weekend drag.

    Since everything in the world is a fetish to somebody, I can understand this whole master/submissive role play being of interest to people. The part about it that really kills it for me.....if I were so inclined......is that it is faked. There are limits that the sub sets. The master isnt really a master. So why bother?

    Anyway, leather does nothing to turn me on either. If you really want my attention, be cute and short, learn to dance, and just have normal sex in bed.
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    Mar 01, 2009 2:00 AM GMT
    1) @ judoguy: You need nothing elaborate to be into leather play...simple home-found objects can be "perverted" to provide some quick, inexpensive toys. Try the wooden spoons in the kitchen drawer and move up from there icon_wink.gif

    2) @ Caslon: Nowadays, if someone is dressed to the hilt in leather, 9 times out of 10, they are in drag and it's all a show. You don't have to wear leather to be Leather. And yes, there are limits set by both Dom and sub. I'm not into edgeplay (taking a person to the edge of passing out or further) and I have heard of people who are into snuffing (which is literally playing a scene until the sub's life is, well, "snuffed out")
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Mar 01, 2009 2:05 AM GMT
    Sounds like it would appeal to someone who was into power, taking it or losing it..... Interesting.
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    Mar 01, 2009 2:18 AM GMT
    HndsmKansan saidSounds like it would appeal to someone who was into power, taking it or losing it..... Interesting.


    It takes a certain mindset. Either you need to be willing to be a teacher/mentor/guide/coach in that you want to lead someone to be a better person or help that person build themselves up or you have to be willing to be a student/ward/apprentice and know how to take advice/criticism/judement/direction to become a better person or be able to build yourself up.

    There are those who are simply into the roleplay aspect, feeding their need to be into one of the aspects of BDSM or are curious about the lifestyle. But I like to find people who are actually Lifestylers, experienced and seasoned. Though I'll gladly discuss the subject with anyone who is looking to try it.

    It really is interesting...research it.

    BDSM

    BD = Bondage & Discipline

    DS = Domination & Submission

    SM = Sadism & Masochism
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    Mar 01, 2009 2:28 AM GMT
    matt45710 said
    Jockbod48 saidThis stuff really does go on sometimes. Some friends took me to a weird spa one time and we walked by a room with a big hammock type thing and a guy was in it - all tied up with a gag - naked - and a bunch of other guys (all pretty hot by the way) were rubbing oil on him and pulling on his balls; putting pincher things on his nips; and probing his ass with a huge dildo. The guy in the hammock was squirming and totally into it. The lighting, pounding rage music and all was a trip. I had never seen anything like this in my life. No way was I going in that room!




    So, where is this place? Have directions?
    icon_twisted.gif



    LAMO!! I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING, HAHAHA.
  • PaMedic

    Posts: 65

    Mar 01, 2009 2:49 AM GMT
    This may go on but not for me. Not my idea of a good time. icon_eek.gif
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    Mar 01, 2009 3:08 AM GMT
    Yes, it goes on, but there's nothing gay-specific about it.

    I've met a LOT more straight people into the whole BDSM/fetish scene than I have gay people.

    It's not something I'm into, but I've learned a lot about it from the friends I've had that are into it. It just is what it is. icon_smile.gif

    One of my friends was telling about this fetish party he went to where one guy was pretending to be a German Shepherd, and another guy was pretending to be a Pomeranian...doing it doggy style...no, I'm not making this up.
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Mar 01, 2009 3:11 AM GMT
    Off topic,

    Caslon.

    I love leather , expecially the black one. It durable, make me look thinner, more masculine, excellent on a motorbike from hash environment like cold, windy and burning sun. Last nite I was riding in a heavy rain downpour (I am talking about a tropical rain that feel like a being inside a washing machine) for about 2 hours on the highway and I have my Harley leather jacket on. It protect me from the the rain and the cold . Not all of us, wear leather for show. For me leather is my favourite way to dress especially when I am on my biking adventure.

    Just a little note from a leather fan
    zak

  • CAtoFL

    Posts: 834

    Mar 01, 2009 5:04 AM GMT
    Kudos to Arjay for shining light on behavior that is (and probably will remain) a curiousity to most of us.

    It occurs to me that there might be more gradations of this kind of behavior in our lives than we readily acknowledge. A lot of us have played sports where the goal is to 'dominate' our opponent or to demonstrate our superiority over him. I've known a couple who occasionally 'bed wrestle' as foreplay to determine 'top'. I think there's a similarity between the two behaviors and I think it stems from guys being naturally competitive. Power/strength can be an aphrodisiac. If it wasn't, powerful guys would never get super-model girlfriends (which has been going on since at least the days of Henry Kissinger in the 1970s).

    Anyway, as long as no one is victimized and it's between two consenting adults, we shouldn't judge it, To do so would be stupid. Yup, I said "stupid". Because that's exactly what straight folks do to us.
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    Mar 01, 2009 6:16 AM GMT
    Strange how alien this seems to so many. There are a bunch of RJ guys on Recon, the international fetish site:

    http://www.recon.com/
  • Tiller66

    Posts: 380

    Mar 01, 2009 7:56 AM GMT
    Well I'm not into the whole pain part of it but I do like how some dress and I've been in the sling before but no pain was involed just pleasureicon_razz.gif
  • josephmovie

    Posts: 533

    Mar 01, 2009 9:11 AM GMT
    I always think that the whole leather thing only looks good in pictures. In the cold hard light of day it's just a bit of a turn-off for me.