HndsmKansan saidA friend sent me this clip and ask me if I thought it was over the top.
I suppose to each his own... but I find this a pretty dark and disturbing....
Where's the riding crop?
Does bs like this really go on or is this just crap?
I can tell you from experience that it does go on --- and it's not bs. It's BDSM! hehe ;) What's that old saying? Don't knock it 'til you try it. In this case, don't knock it if you don't understand it. Power play and all that it revolves around is not just porn fantasy. It's a special connection that goes above and beyond that of any regular relationship.
It hinges on trust, confidence, and skill. I wouldn't play out a scene with anyone I didn't know and trust on a personal level. If I felt someone wasn't competent in what they were doing, I won't start a scene with them. If we were in a scene and something felt "off", I have stopped a scene.
And don't think "submissive" means the person in that role has no power. You could say, subs have all the power because if the sub says no, then the Dom isn't getting anything. And if a Dom tries to force a scene, then s/he shouldn't be a Dom and the sub should run like hell.
And it's not about sex at all. I have scenes where sex was not the objective at all. The Dom and/or sub could just need to fulfill that role within themselves, need a form of release other than the purely physical, or simply want to roleplay. A scene to me is not achieve sexual orgasm but to (hopefully) reach that level of thought/emotion which is referred to headspace.
You want to get high, then put down the hooka and the beer bottle and trust someone to get you to headspace. It's the greatest thing in the world. Call it what you want - endorphins, euphoria, nirvana, whatever - headspace is just plain awesome. ;)