I think we just broke up?

  • cityguy39

    Posts: 967

    Mar 04, 2009 1:08 PM GMT
    Sorry guys I oringinally posted my first thread in the wrong section. So let's try this again. My BF after a great dinner at his place last night told me he needed 2 weeks apart to think about things. We have been having some rough times but I didn't think it was to that point. To me, it felt like good bye, he said it wasn't. My gut tells me different. We have been together on and off for about 3 years, broke up twice, this would be the third and FINAL one. So, I'm thinking I should let this die a natural death. What do you guys think?
  • maximumrisk

    Posts: 799

    Mar 04, 2009 2:10 PM GMT
    cityguy39 saidSorry guys I oringinally posted my first thread in the wrong section. So let's try this again. My BF after a great dinner at his place last night told me he needed 2 weeks apart to think about things. We have been having some rough times but I didn't think it was to that point. To me, it felt like good bye, he said it wasn't. My gut tells me different. We have been together on and off for about 3 years, broke up twice, this would be the third and FINAL one. So, I'm thinking I should let this die a natural death. What do you guys think?


    Nobody here can tell you to break up with him. Thats your decision.

    If you think this is the last time since it is the magical third, my 2 best friends have been together now for about 7 Years. They fight alot and have been broken up about 20 times or more, but they are still together. In my opinion a relationship cant work if there is no fighting.The fighting is how some people show their affection for each other, because in the end, they wouldnt fight if they wouldnt care.
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    Mar 04, 2009 4:11 PM GMT
    You really didn't go into deepth with this story. however I think most of us have heard something like "I need space to think'. I also think most of us knew it was over tehn and there.

    Whatever may happen here. If you have indeed broken up and gotten back together this many times there is somethign wrong. Somethign that can not be fixed and perhaps you should just think about ending it and moving on.
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    Mar 04, 2009 4:23 PM GMT
    you should take the two weeks to think about if you want to continue doing this to each other. It's not fair to either of you to continue trying to fix a square peg in to a circle.

    But you know your boy friend better than anyone here does. What can you decide in two that that you can't decide in a day. Two weeks seem like an strange window period that's a vacation.

    It just seems very HINKY to me. I had an ex do that to me once or he tried and I said you don't need a week I can tell you right now we're done.

    "Time waits for no one and neither do I". Those were my parting words. Are you kidding me!
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Mar 04, 2009 4:28 PM GMT
    You didn't get the "It's not you it's me"
    speech but it sure sounds like a breakup

    In situations like this better to assume YES until proven otherwise
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    Mar 04, 2009 5:36 PM GMT
    GQjock saidYou didn't get the "It's not you it's me"
    speech but it sure sounds like a breakup


    "It's not about you.." is rivalled for lameness only by "I still love you but I'm not in love with you." If you ever hear either phrase, run for the exit and don't look back.
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    Mar 04, 2009 5:52 PM GMT
    Hmm. In my experience the only way that problems get solved in a relationship is sitting down together and talking about them. If tempers are flaring, you may need to delay the discussion a day or two. Asking for two weeks away… I don’t see that as an action someone would take if they were still committed to the relationship.

    Having said that, you know your boyfriend and how he handles himself when there is conflict in your relationship. From the details you gave in your post, I get the impression that this is not normal behavior for him. Add to that your gut is telling you that this isn’t right and it feels like good-bye… when it feels like good-bye, it usually is.
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    Mar 04, 2009 6:07 PM GMT
    I am agreeing with your gut. Sorry to tell you that. I think every relationship goes through rough patches. The only piece of advice I would ever give anyone, is to talk things out and don't go to bed mad at each other. Even if that means doing some yelling.

    And oh yes, don't be afraid to say "I'm sorry" if you are in the wrong.
  • UncleverName

    Posts: 741

    Mar 04, 2009 6:32 PM GMT
    SurrealLife saidAnd oh yes, don't be afraid to say "I'm sorry" if you are in the wrong.


    I'd have to add that you shouldn't be afraid to say I'm sorry even if you aren't in the wrong. Sometimes it's how you said something, as opposed to what you said, that is the problem. Sometimes it's when you said it that was the problem. It almost always works better for me to be kind than it does to be right.

    I just wish I could remember that more often icon_smile.gif
  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Mar 04, 2009 7:18 PM GMT
    This reminds me of that song and video by the Beautiful South.

    I need a little Time.

    If he wants some space, then give him some - permanently.

    I agree with jprichva, a relationship should feel natural and not need so much work.

    You're too nice a guy to waste more time on what sounds like a dying relationship.

    Good luck.

    Lozx

  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Mar 05, 2009 1:56 AM GMT
    TexDef07 said
    GQjock saidYou didn't get the "It's not you it's me"
    speech but it sure sounds like a breakup


    "It's not about you.." is rivalled for lameness only by "I still love you but I'm not in love with you." If you ever hear either phrase, run for the exit and don't look back.


    Ha.....

    All break up speeches are lame
    How about- You're a great guy............... But...... icon_eek.gif Hey wait a min
    I used that one before icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Mar 05, 2009 2:04 AM GMT
    Hey man....I hope your doing ok today.....keep your head up high and remember your a great guy and maybe this will open doors to a love that you have never experienced before....I know its always hard but remember your not alone.....gimme a shout if you need to. Your a great guy and friend and anyone would be lucky to have you in their life.

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    Mar 05, 2009 2:07 AM GMT
    I think you should go with what you personally believe it is. If you feel it's over, then it is. If not well you never know after this you could spend the rest of your life with this bloke. But who's to say... Our gut is our most powerful weapon use it well.
  • cityguy39

    Posts: 967

    Mar 05, 2009 3:31 AM GMT
    I really feel so numb right now, I want to call him but he said no contact. I really do feel that it's over. Thanks for all the kind words, I feel like you guys are all my brothers.
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    Mar 05, 2009 2:51 PM GMT
    cityguy39 saidI really feel so numb right now, I want to call him but he said no contact. I really do feel that it's over. Thanks for all the kind words, I feel like you guys are all my brothers.


    My sympathies are with you, man - but if any guy ever said "no contact" to me we would be so absolutely *done* and I mean it. He has handed you your goodbye papers on a silver platter.

    What you learn by the time you're my age is really good news: There are so many great guys out there - just think of how many nice, fun, happy, confident, smart, humorous guys you can meet - just go out and do it!
  • dionysus

    Posts: 420

    Mar 05, 2009 2:54 PM GMT
    get yourself a pint of ben & jerry's and a pizza, cuz you just been dumped.
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    Mar 05, 2009 3:02 PM GMT
    redbull saidHey man....I hope your doing ok today.....keep your head up high and remember your a great guy and maybe this will open doors to a love that you have never experienced before....I know its always hard but remember your not alone.....gimme a shout if you need to. Your a great guy and friend and anyone would be lucky to have you in their life.

    Photobucket


    awesome man...nice way to look at it all.