Has technology wiped out the expectation for common courtesy?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 05, 2009 3:06 AM GMT
    In the past 3 days the following things have happened.

    1. I was almost run off the road by a guy talking on his cell phone who couldn't be bothered by turning on his signal or checking any of his mirrors let alone look over his shoulder. I honked my horn, and he took his available hand off the steering wheel and flipped me off, and almost swerved off the road himself. Apparently his cell phone addiction is taking away from having his alignment fixed.

    2. I was sitting in the coffee shop doing some prep work for my GRE test, and a man sits down at the table next to me (nevermind there were about 5 other tables open away from me where no one else was doing any work). He proceeds to pick up his cell phone, and talk in the loud, arrogant, self important way that only people with a severe complex can pull off. I sometimes wonder if people who do that are deliberately being jerks, and they should be just told to shut the hell up as soon as they open their phone. Can people really be that clueless?

    3. In class tonight the person in front of me had her lap top out and was ignoring the instructor as she browsed myspace. Another person was furiously texting behind me, and other people were periodically reaching for their cell phones and sending messages. I mean it's class. If you're on call for work or someone's sick then take it outside the room if you need to use it. Otherwise turn it off.

    4. There are signs all over the gym that specifically say no phone use on the work out floor, but people ignore it and camp out at benches and stations to talk or text.

    For 3 and 4 the rules are never enforced by any authority figures which makes me wonder if everyone's already become apathetic to technological discourtesy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 05, 2009 4:13 AM GMT
    I can't remember how people acted before technology like we have it now hit. You are right though. People are pretty clueless on many counts.

    I hate it when your standing right there whether your a customer or a friend and just because someone calls you get ignored. As a customer you actually took the time to drive to the store and are physically there. As a friend it is just plain disrespectful. If it's a date don't expect another one.
  • swimbikerun

    Posts: 2835

    Mar 05, 2009 5:18 AM GMT
    Whenever I see people weaving in traffic, these days they're texting...
    On guy was literally leaning on the steering wheel, texting not even watching the road..

    I'm guilty of being discourteous sometimes while using technology. It's easier to do that without having to see the person face-to-face
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 05, 2009 5:31 AM GMT
    Technology is not the issue. Very few people have ever practiced courtesy & civility, so that the examples you cite with cell phones are merely a more modern example of the same levels of bad behavior that have always existed. Only now it expresses itself in terms of hi-tech. Same trash, new equipment.
  • ROYCE13

    Posts: 315

    Mar 05, 2009 5:36 AM GMT
    when your in line or at a restaurant and next time one of these people talk so so loudly, look at them and not and smile like you are part of the conversation, they will look at you like you are crazy for a bit and then they usually get the hint and lower their voice vol. or end the call. If I am with friends at dinner, and they take calls from friends, I nice say what is the point to get together if you take all your calls , they usually dont take the calls anymore, when I have family and or friends over at the house when I cook and entertain, I put a cleaver and creative sing on the front door saying this is a no cell environment, they laugh and comply, but all these people now thank me and appreciate that they get my attention and now understand, during lunch for most of the time, I let is slide, if they are a business person who used the phone for work, not a line staff position. I refuse to let the phone rule my life, however, friends and clients also comment that I am more reachable then most with phones attached to ears, pages, etc.. because good old manners states to return all calls or communications within a 24 hour time frame if possible.
  • ROYCE13

    Posts: 315

    Mar 05, 2009 5:41 AM GMT
    well mr red vespa, hi how are you, oh and I agree with you, I was raised with strict manners and it always makes one stick out in the crowd, I do not always like it, but I am not going to and do not know how to be unmannerly.
    Manners are the last beacon of street civility. In the old days before my time and yours to probably, even the young and poor were well mannered and well dressed and groomed, and things were a bit more civil, there is a bit of a direct relationship at play here.

  • ROYCE13

    Posts: 315

    Mar 05, 2009 5:45 AM GMT
    sorry for the typo's guys
  • t0theheights

    Posts: 428

    Mar 05, 2009 6:00 AM GMT
    Red_Vespa saidTechnology is not the issue. Very few people have ever practiced courtesy & civility, so that the examples you cite with cell phones are merely a more modern example of the same levels of bad behavior that have always existed. Only now it expresses itself in terms of hi-tech. Same trash, new equipment.


    Amen! Technology is only the scapegoat, not the real issue.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 05, 2009 8:26 AM GMT
    short answer: yes.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 05, 2009 9:07 AM GMT
    Nah.
    Technology just makes it easier to showcase.

    internet-geeks.jpg?w=500&h=425
  • junknemesis

    Posts: 682

    Mar 05, 2009 9:15 AM GMT
    It comes down to parents and society. Common courtesy has taken a back seat. Parents werent teaching it to us, since most of the Baby Boom generation werent ready or kids, or just didnt know how to be parents, or some other aspect of things. Now as many of us had poor parenting examples (I am also speaking for myself) we don't know how to parent, and thus family vaues, and common courtesy are traits that make someone peculiar, as they are not common anymore.

    I worked for a phone research company (surverys... *shudder*) and people were so mean and rude to me, it's like they didnt even register they were speaking to a real person. I would ask them if their mother or father would be proud that they treated a fellow person like such crap, and they didnt know how to answer. I think many of them never think about how their parents didnt teach them proper values and respect. That's also why kids keep getting more and more bold and disrespectful, cause their parents don't properly teach them, mostly cause the parents themselves didnt know how.

    +DISCLAIMER: This note does not apply to all humanity, mearly much of america. Not to be taken personally as you may have been an exception. Parental Disgression is advised.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 05, 2009 1:33 PM GMT
    What about those people who buy expensive tickets for a concert or show and can't bear to turn their phones off? Once I was sitting in a seat for which I paid $150 and at a dramatically crucial moment someone nearby let their phone go off, and they answered the call.
    Immediate capital punishment is the solution.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 05, 2009 1:50 PM GMT
    Beaux saidNah.
    Technology just makes it easier to showcase.

    internet-geeks.jpg?w=500&h=425


    I love this! Brilliant!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 05, 2009 1:50 PM GMT
    YES! Nuf said!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 05, 2009 2:02 PM GMT
    I finally spoke up to some guy who brought his cell phone into the dry sauna and started gabbing away. He finished one call and started dialing another when I said "enough" and gave him a lecture on basic courtesy and respect for people around you. He stopped - but gave me this look - as if I was in the wrong.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Mar 05, 2009 2:10 PM GMT
    Too many people forget that just because you can do something doesn't mean it's appropriate to do it.

    If I don't have my bluetooth in my ear when I'm driving, I don't take the call. If I get a call when I am with a group of people, I excuse myself and walk away to a more private area to take the call. If I at a movie or performance, my phone is off.
  • Mikeylikesit

    Posts: 1021

    Mar 05, 2009 2:15 PM GMT
    I can relate 100%, I started going back to school. I am experiencing the same stuff. Guys are sitting there chatting away on their laptops, Txting while the professor is lecturing. Where is the respect or anything. THey dont even take their baseball caps off in the class room. Back in my day, That would never fly. They would make you take your cap off when you entered a room....hmmm...........icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 06, 2009 12:15 AM GMT
    Haha,

    Yea, yall are right. Parents don't care enough to teach their kids. Just backs up my belief that reproduction should be heavily regulated haha.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 06, 2009 12:28 AM GMT
    I was almost run over once by a woman talking on two cell phones at the same time while she was driving!

    I also was a co-presenter at a training recently where two people talked non-stop throughout. The lead trainer took them aside at a break and politely asked them to stop talking during the training. They got very offended and then spent the rest of the time using their laptop and passing notes. One even got up to take a call during a video and slammed the door. At least they quit talking though. I'm always astonished when adults act like 12-year-olds.
  • imperator

    Posts: 626

    Mar 06, 2009 3:42 PM GMT
    Mikeylikesit saidI can relate 100%, I started going back to school. I am experiencing the same stuff. Guys are sitting there chatting away on their laptops, Txting while the professor is lecturing. Where is the respect or anything. THey dont even take their baseball caps off in the class room. Back in my day, That would never fly. They would make you take your cap off when you entered a room....hmmm...........icon_twisted.gif



    See, I long for the days of good manners, too, but I never got the rational basis whereby the act of wearing a hat indoors was disrespectful or discourteous. After a little googling it seems like it's an idea derived from the practice of men taking off hats upon entering churches (as a symbolic removal of anything 'between' Joe Churchgoer and his deity/ceiling cat/whatever) but when, where, how or why that crossed over into 'secular manners' makes little sense to me. Of course, it's not like the religious custom makes sense, either, since only men are supposed to remove hats whereas women are actually expected to cover their heads in churches. But that's neither here nor there.

    The point is... if someone's in class, using a hat to-- say-- conceal the fact that they're sleeping, or to deny a professor eye-contact, or to show disruptive gang affiliations, or to smuggle in test answers written under the peak, or whatever, then yes, those are disrespectful/discourteous behaviours facilitated by the wearing of a hat. But just having one on? What reasonable rationale is there for an otherwise well-mannered person being branded as 'rude' just because they didn't remove their hat upon entering "a room?" And what about if a given room (the classroom, for instance) is cold and people are wearing hats to mitigate heat-loss? What it the room is under construction/renovation and people are wearing hardhats for protection? What if the pope entered the room with his "God-antenna-which-must-never-be-taken-off" hat on? What about wigs? Are they okay? Are they only okay for people bald from cancer treatment, or are they forbidden altogether? Under scrutiny, too many inconsistencies and exceptions and improvisations emerge for the dictum "take your hat off upon entering a room" to really make self-evident sense. It isn't based on anything objective or universally accessible or "true," it just breaks down into a matter of personal tastes/belief.

    I think our conception of good manners should still be subject to a standard of reason; otherwise "good manners" risks becoming just another bully-pulpit to be abused by the irrational and the self-important, arbitrarily making up rules to suit their particular (and maybe peculiar) dogmas and then coercing others to conform.

    For instance just because I might decide that guys wearing pants on Mondays "ain't right," and regardless of how many other people I might convince to subscribe to that notion, and no matter whether or not I can get the idea to take a wide-enough hold in society that for a hundred years men stop wearing pants on Mondays, that still won't make it 'good manners' by any objective, sane, rational standard. And people longing for the "good old days of pantsless Mondays" after it's fallen out of common practice wouldn't be appealing to the ghost of better manners; they'd just be nostalgic... and possibly tained by some manner of self-interest (ie. they liked checking out the guys in their underwear on a weekly basis).