Have you been in a Relationship with an Alcoholic?

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    Mar 06, 2009 6:12 AM GMT
    Have you ever been in a relationship with and Alcoholic? If so how long before you called it quits? How well did you tolerate it and how did it impact your life?

    I wonder if i would find it hard to kick Joey (below) to the curb icon_lol.gif
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    Mar 06, 2009 7:59 AM GMT
    Been there, done that. I didn't tolerate it very well. He always had an excuse why it was ok.

    Never again.
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    Mar 06, 2009 8:00 AM GMT
    [I like Concrete Blonde, I never knew that's what the song was about.]
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    Mar 06, 2009 8:04 AM GMT
    yes and i lasted for about a month because he was tall, southern, had a very hot body, and like the perfect dick..

    but he always bitched about how we never had sex, but he couldt get hard/get off/have sex when he was drunk . .

    and he was always drunk so we couldnt have sex. there is also much more but still lol

    but a month, and i wouldnt do it ever again
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    Mar 06, 2009 8:06 AM GMT
    what about a CHOCOHOLIC!?
    they'd eat up all the chocolate! banana bananza what a mess!
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    Mar 06, 2009 8:07 AM GMT
    Yea, my dad. I know it's not the relationship you're probably talking about, but still... based on how he treated us growing up.. I will NEVER get in a relationship with a guy who drinks regularly.
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    Mar 06, 2009 8:13 AM GMT
    tafkalil saidYea, my dad. I know it's not the relationship you're probably talking about, but still... based on how he treated us growing up.. I will NEVER get in a relationship with a guy who drinks regularly.
    Good for you!! I had that kind of relationship also icon_eek.gif yeah it kind of fucks up the whole father-son thing doesn't it?
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    Mar 06, 2009 8:15 AM GMT
    Indeed, it does!
  • junknemesis

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    Mar 06, 2009 8:20 AM GMT
    I very nearly became the alcoholic. I had a friendship with someone (that's a kind of relationship) who was heavy into drugs and alcohol, and it was hard on me. We ended up drifting apart, which was sad cause there could have been more.

    When I started drinking and found myself craving it more and more I knew I was either becoming addicted, or aready was. (I am not sure) However after I met the LDS missionaries, became friends (got a crush on one) and got baptized I discovered that I didnt desire to drink so much anymore. At least it wasnt a compulsion.

    Still, I feel that desire when I walk down the booze isle of the grocery store to buy a bottle and I know it would not be good for me to do so. I'm not sure if I count as an actual alcoholic, as I wasnt a drinker for very long, and it never really got a secure hold on my life. I do know that I was well on my way though. I am glad that I met my friends when I did. I don't think I could have ended up very well if I had succumbed to abusing the drink.
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    Mar 06, 2009 8:24 AM GMT
    junknemesis saidI very nearly became the alcoholic. I had a friendship with someone (that's a kind of relationship) who was heavy into drugs and alcohol, and it was hard on me. We ended up drifting apart, which was sad cause there could have been more.
    Well good for you for finding a way to stop and change!! It saves you and your relations a whole lot of grief. I think there is usually some underlying issue besides the alcohol with the alcoholics I have known.
  • junknemesis

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    Mar 06, 2009 8:32 AM GMT
    Oh yeah. I had underlying issues. I think joining the Church actually helped me take care of them, which would explain how I was able to defeat the budding addiction I was developing! I had help of course, and now I'm a much better person for it. Still a bit confused, but who isnt?
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    Mar 06, 2009 8:45 AM GMT
    No, but my first boyfriend was a meth addict. Glad I got that lesson in early.
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    Mar 06, 2009 9:29 AM GMT
    when would u consider some-one a alcoholic
    how much would some-one have to consume daily to fall into that category?
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    Mar 06, 2009 9:31 AM GMT
    Anyone who drinks daily definitely has some kind of an addiction...
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    Mar 06, 2009 9:37 AM GMT
    For the first 10 years of my relationship we both partied like dogs and didnt realize we drank too much. His drinking continued to effect his job, our relationship, our friends and caused financial issues. He went on a binge and ended up in the hospital. He went to rehab and AA. Was sobor for about 5 years. His mother died and went on a binge again. I wanted to walk out!! I didnt think I could handle it. He asked for one more chance which I didnt want to give him. He goes to AA meetings everyday...even on vacation . He just celebrated his 4 year sobor and we celebrated our 25th year together. So I would say as long as they are will to work at it, but if not...I wouldnt stay!!!
  • RSportsguy

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    Mar 06, 2009 10:20 AM GMT
    tafkalil saidYea, my dad. I know it's not the relationship you're probably talking about, but still... based on how he treated us growing up.. I will NEVER get in a relationship with a guy who drinks regularly.


    I am sorry you had to endure this. I had a good friend in college who would not drink because his dad was a full blown alcoholic and really messed up his family. It was very hard for him to cope with. I am glad that you are able to learn from your father's mistake. Many other people just follow the pattern and become alcoholics themselves.
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    Mar 07, 2009 4:37 AM GMT
    muscchests saidFor the first 10 years of my relationship we both partied like dogs and didnt realize we drank too much.
    So we have at least one happy ending .. I hope it continues to work out for you two
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    Mar 07, 2009 4:53 AM GMT
    thorn27 saidwhen would u consider some-one a alcoholic
    how much would some-one have to consume daily to fall into that category?
    I think there is no set amount, but they seem to have to have it. One I know of is drunk every night and when he stops he can't sleep and gets moody. I think there is abundant literature on signs of alcoholism but having grown up with one I am familiar with a bit of the behaviour.
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    Mar 07, 2009 5:06 AM GMT
    I did, it lasted about three months before he decided to join AA and CMA and dumped my ass right after Valentine's Day. Something about relationships not being conducive to the early recovery process.

    He told me he'd had problems in the past and I didn't even notice the problems were apparently ongoing. I was pretty clueless and fell for someone who tore my heart out, shit on it, stomped on it real good and stuffed it back in my chest like nothing happened. On the upside, he's doing great now. He's been sober for over two years and I'm very proud of him.

    In the future I'll try to look for the signs and run like hell when I see them.
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    Mar 07, 2009 5:17 AM GMT
    good idea icon_lol.gif
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    Mar 07, 2009 5:18 AM GMT
    thorn27 saidwhen would u consider some-one a alcoholic
    how much would some-one have to consume daily to fall into that category?

    My ex would drink a bottle and a half of wine, by himself, every night, then an Ambien AND two Tylenol PMs before bed. But the could always justify it, "Hey, I work really hard!"

    I had a roommate who had 2 DUIs, with a court ordered breathalyzer on his car's ignition. He'd drink half a bottle vodka/gin/whatever every night, and start drinking on weekends as soon as he woke up. Ironically, his name is "Joey".
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    Mar 07, 2009 5:18 AM GMT
    My first boyfriend was an alcoholic. He was verbally abusive pretty much daily, and eventually hit me when he was sober. Go figure. We were together for almost a year. I broke up with him once, then again after he hit me.
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    Mar 07, 2009 5:22 AM GMT
    I was raised around addicts (and ministers...we wont go into that). Of course, I feel I also had a food addiction myself. Anyways, because of that childhood (actually I'm still around addicts) I would never be able to tolerate that. The only person to start the addiction after getting into the relationship didn't last long. You have to put yourself first, even in relationships. The compromises are continuous but there is no compromise when addiction is involved.
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    Mar 07, 2009 5:29 AM GMT
    looknrnd saidYou have to put yourself first, even in relationships. The compromises are continuous but there is no compromise when addiction is involved.
    Ironically this is what alcoholics do (put themselves first) but nevertheless true. I think mostly alcoholics have a way of blinding themselves to the consequences of their actions and come up with excuses.
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    Mar 07, 2009 5:53 AM GMT
    ActiveAndFit said
    looknrnd saidYou have to put yourself first, even in relationships. The compromises are continuous but there is no compromise when addiction is involved.
    Ironically this is what alcoholics do (put themselves first) but nevertheless true. I think mostly alcoholics have a way of blinding themselves to the consequences of their actions and come up with excuses.


    I think you understood what I said, but just in case:

    I was speaking of love. Addicts generally don't know how to cope with reality or loving themselves. Those that don't know how will cope by feeding the addiction (because that's all they feel they can do right, and it's all that heals the pain), and then make their world about the addiction - something very selfish. I know this was my mind-frame about food. In this, by not loving themselves they are selfish. By loving one's self, you are never selfish. I'm a big believer that you can never love anyone else properly if you don't love yourself. In a world where real love is lacking and we fill our desire for it with drugs, food, and sex...it's very selfish to not love yourself and thus strip the world of the proper love you could be bringing into the big scheme of things.