If you were out for a meal with a group of friends or family..........and you do not drink.............would you expect to pay for the drink (wine)?

  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Mar 07, 2009 3:34 AM GMT
    The idea is, that the total of the meal is split equally. I have been out for a meal like this many times, and the meal is split equally, but those that do not drink, do not pay for the drink. The drink is split between those that drink.

    Tonight for the first time, my partner and I (we do not drink) had to pay for drink (wine) on top of the meal.

    What do you guys think?

    Mike
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    Mar 07, 2009 3:40 AM GMT
    For me, it would depend on the ease of isolating the cost of the drink from the cost of the meal. If the check showed the two clearly separately, then I would say the drink should be paid for by the drinkers. If they are totalled together, then it woud look cheap to make an issue of just paying an equal share. Next time, quietly go off and ask the waiter to tote up the drink separately.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Mar 07, 2009 3:41 AM GMT
    I think beverages are part of a meal, and if you agree to split the check equally then that's part of the deal. Just like if not everyone had dessert, or not everyone had an appetizer.
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Mar 07, 2009 3:44 AM GMT
    It was an itemised bill, and they were bottles of wine. Very easy to separate.
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    Mar 07, 2009 3:48 AM GMT
    I offer to pay the extra amount for any special drinks I have, when the others at the table did not order similar. Even if everyone is drinking, if I have one drink more, or an especially expensive one, I'll pay the difference. Sometimes they decline, sometimes they accept. I would not wait to be asked.
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Mar 07, 2009 3:49 AM GMT
    Timberoo saidI think beverages are part of a meal, and if you agree to split the check equally then that's part of the deal. Just like if not everyone had dessert, or not everyone had an appetizer.


    Food is food, and drink is drink. When I have a soft drink with a meal, or even tea or coffee, I pay the extra. Tonight I drank water. My partner drank a soft drink that he payed for himself.
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Mar 07, 2009 3:52 AM GMT
    Red_Vespa saidI offer to pay the extra amount for any special drinks I have, when the others at the table did not order similar. Even if everyone is drinking, if I have one drink more, or an especially expensive one, I'll pay the difference. Sometimes they decline, sometimes they accept.


    Yeah, that is the rule. Or at least used to be.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Mar 07, 2009 3:53 AM GMT
    MikePhilPerez said
    Timberoo saidI think beverages are part of a meal, and if you agree to split the check equally then that's part of the deal. Just like if not everyone had dessert, or not everyone had an appetizer.


    Food is food, and drink is drink. When I have a soft drink with a meal, or even tea or coffee, I pay the extra. Tonight I drank water. My partner drank a soft drink that he payed for himself.


    :shrug: When I'm out to eat with friends, we each only pay for what we ordered.
  • silverfox

    Posts: 3178

    Mar 07, 2009 3:57 AM GMT
    MikePhilPerez saidThe idea is, that the total of the meal is split equally. I have been out for a meal like this many times, and the meal is split equally, but those that do not drink, do not pay for the drink. The drink is split between those that drink.

    Tonight for the first time, my partner and I (we do not drink) had to pay for drink (wine) on top of the meal.

    What do you guys think?

    Mike


    I don't get it. Who split the bill this way? The waiter or the people you were with?
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    Mar 07, 2009 3:58 AM GMT
    This is the first time this has happened? Ever?

    I live in Utah, this happens all the time. Why were you going out to eat with people who aren't your friends? If it was so easy to split the wine off then why didn't you tell the server to itemize the alcohol?

    It seems like there were more effective ways to take care of the issue without walking away from the dinner angry and complaining to a bunch of strangers.
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    Mar 07, 2009 4:26 AM GMT
    MikePhilPerez saidThe idea is, that the total of the meal is split equally. I have been out for a meal like this many times, and the meal is split equally, but those that do not drink, do not pay for the drink. The drink is split between those that drink.

    Tonight for the first time, my partner and I (we do not drink) had to pay for drink (wine) on top of the meal.

    What do you guys think?

    Mike


    I agree with Dig - you should've split the food but had the drinks itemized. This is why you tip the waiter...

    I wouldn't think much of it unless I was at the Mondrian Hotel/Skybar in LA or something - You can only have a table if you get bottle service - $800 for a bottle of freakin' Grey Goose...not a chance in hell! The cost of a glass of wine wouldn't have bothered me all that much.
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    Mar 07, 2009 4:41 AM GMT
    I've gone out for countless meals with groups from 3 to 30 and 95 percent of the time, people paid for what they ordered. It's really not that complicated. You just pass around the ticket and people contribute their portion as it goes around the circle - whether cash or charge. If the group is really large - then we write down on the back of the ticket each cardholders name and amount to be charged to respective cards so the waitbot knows what to do with them. It's pretty simple and everyone leaves happy.

    And... you might think that the waitbot would frown upon this type of arrangement - but actually this isn't the case. That's because having each person pay their own and by using multiple cards usually results in an overpayment - which translates to a MUCH higher tip. The waitbots always seem to get a 25 percent tip for not all that much work.
  • MSUBioNerd

    Posts: 1813

    Mar 07, 2009 4:46 AM GMT
    My friends and I always just pay for what we ordered--it's a lot easier that way. Of course, it helps that my friends are also nerds, so almost all of us can do the simple arithmetic of adding our items and calculating tax in our heads.
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    Mar 07, 2009 6:51 AM GMT
    I am on the "pay for what you eat/drink" bandwagon. I rarely drink when I eat, and I don't drink wine (which gets expensive) and I don't drink beer (like when folks order multiple pitchers).

    Fortunately, I haven't been put in a situation where I was expected to pay for others' indulgences, but I'm always a little worrisome that it's going to happen when I'm with a lot of people I don't know, and it'll be an awkward conversation. I am trying to save money, which is why I don't go out to eat much anyway. On principle alone I would not pay for someone else's drinks, especially if they weren't courteous enough to offer.

    And when I do drink, I never expect that others should split my drinks, or split my meal if I ordered a more expensive dish. I agree with dumdedum on the solution- If it's not happening, just suggest in a nice, tactful, but firm way that we pass around the check .

    The only exception is when it's a good friend's birthday. Then I'll pay for his/her drinks or the meal(s).

  • junknemesis

    Posts: 682

    Mar 07, 2009 7:17 AM GMT
    If I got a drink that was not alcoholic, and everyone else did, then my drink would also b included in the mix, thus when it was split evenly, I would then be paying for my own drink, as it may be equal in price to the wine. And if not then I'm not going to complain about the little extra, cause I'm with friends.
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    Mar 07, 2009 7:18 AM GMT
    if you dont drink, then you don't pay for any drinks
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    Mar 07, 2009 7:30 AM GMT
    The waitbots?

    and no, we hate having you write a million messages on the receipt. If you want it split up, that can be done on the computer, just let us know. Some computer systems don't allow this. Which is why it's important to let the server know at the start of the meal that you'll need separate checks. This ensure that we keep a more accurate track of who is ordering what, especially in large parties.
    And even when this does happen it adds tedious work to the end of the meal. Assume that every separate check is going to add 2 minutes to the end of your meal time. between separating/itemizing individuals and groups, handing out (or passing around), and then running multiple payments (and payment types p.s. making change is a HUGE pain in the ass - servers do not work from cash drawers).
    And no, we don't usually end up making more in those cases. Someone always ends up shorting on their bill, leaving others to pick up the slack on the bill, but not the slack on the tip. they still only tip their share.
    not to mention, you're not the only table I have to wait on. Every second I have to try and figure out your handwriting and do all this computer work and change making I have other tables getting sat/needing drinks/ready to order/etc.

    dividing the bill = bane of my existence
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    Mar 07, 2009 7:47 AM GMT
    My partner doesnt drink, so he has no problem announcing when the check comes that he "didnt drink and not paying for all you alcoholics" (his standard line! LOL) So they just dont count him when dividing the drinks part of the check and count him into dividing the food part!
  • NickoftheNort...

    Posts: 1416

    Mar 07, 2009 8:14 AM GMT
    Hmm...if we're all planning on paying, we pay for our separate orders of food and drink. Unless we ordered something we all ate of, such as a large pizza, there is no reason to split the check.

    As to paying for someone else's alcohol, my experience is that it differs, at least between Miami, USA and Norway at large. In Miami, if you've invited someone out to dinner, you're responsible for paying the full bill (including drinks). In Norway, you're responsible for paying the food, but not alcoholic drinks (as they're significantly more expensive than other drinks).

    Even with these general rules, it varies from what kind of dinner it is, the available budgets of the persons involved, and what a person cares to pay for; if a person does not want to pay for alcoholic beverages, he/she should be able to upfront about it before people start ordering (heck, before they all arrive the restaurant).

    Because I don't like alcohol and particularly not people who've had too much of it, I make it clear that I will not serve alcoholic beverages when I invite people for dinner (though guests are free to bring some for themselves, essentially BYOB).
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    Mar 07, 2009 8:36 AM GMT
    Even if I didn't drink, it would not be an issue to me. After all it's only money. Pluse I eat a lot of seafood, thus it's not unusual for my meal to be one of the dearest. Non of my friends would complain about that, as I would not complain about paying for something I did not drink.

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    Mar 07, 2009 8:45 AM GMT
    If I invite friends out I will pick up the tab and vice versa, it evens itself out over time.
  • cbrett

    Posts: 609

    Mar 07, 2009 9:38 AM GMT
    No way why should u be paying for alachol when u not even drinking i hate it when you are out with friends and they start drink heaps and then they same let split the bill
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    Mar 07, 2009 1:29 PM GMT
    I go out to dinner with large groups of friends all the time and I'm surprised by all those above who say it's no problem to divide the check according to who had what. Whenever we've tried it it's always been a nightmare. Who had the pricier appetizer, who had the top-shelf margarita grandes, who had more drinks than they remember ordering, etc., etc. And of course some always underpay or forget to add the tax or worst of all, leave the meal early and toss $40 on the table when they've had all of the above.
    In the end it's easier and fairer to everybody and the server if you just divide the total bill equally among the number of guests. You are basically paying for the shared social experience as much as for the meal.
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    Mar 07, 2009 2:35 PM GMT
    In Canada (because we are so much better organized than you), the bill normally comes organized by *seat*, so it's easy if you want to just pay for yourself (or you and your boyf but not your friend for example).

    But generally, re: drinks, for me it kinda depends on how much money we're talking. When I go out, I can easily spend as much on wine or more as I do on the food. So in that case - drinks seperate. But if you're only talking about a share of say $10-15, then who cares?
  • toybrian

    Posts: 395

    Mar 07, 2009 2:40 PM GMT
    Mike, I agree with you..when I go out to dinner I tell them upfront that I do not drink and will not pay for it...some people love to drink and can get very expensive...