Help? Receiving a Facebook suicide threat from a rejected attachment???

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2009 6:26 AM GMT
    Guys I need advice on how to deal with this in the future. I am not sure I can have a clear view. First off let me say just over two years ago my best friend shot himself. It was the single most difficult experience of my life. I knew he was suffering from depression I tried multiple times to get him to talk to someone or just go get medicine. He refused. If I had known how depressed he was, I would have done something else, yet I didn't want to sacrifice the trust he had in the one person he felt like he could talk to. I've questioned those decisions nearly every day since. I feel like I should have known better and I could have stopped it and because I didn't he is dead.

    The other night when I changed my facebook status to "not single" a guy that had been trying hard for quite awhile to get with me, first sent me a message saying it was "sickening". I was like great...glad you're happy for me. Later on that night he sent me a very graphic message about cutting himself to bits... I tried to talk to him, he wouldn't. I thought about contacting his family, but at 2:30 in the morning how would they respond. I thought about calling the police, but I had no idea where he was. This is a person who has had multiple attempts before, so I tend to think they are attention getters. My friend never ever threatened it, if he had we would have done something. The guy that sent the threat seems to use it as a tool of manipulation. Yet the thought of it possibly happening again and having done nothing to stop it chills me to the bone.

    Regardless, its a threat I can't and won't deal with so I completely blocked him. What would you have done/do in the future??? Ever dealt with any nonsense like this? Lost on this one.
  • mcwclewis

    Posts: 1701

    Mar 07, 2009 6:42 AM GMT
    I've dealt with it before.

    Almost always, if someone is threatening, they're looking for attention. I'm not suggesting that they don't deserve said attention, but they often wont do it. I would still do what I could to make sure they got help, just in case.
    I would check up on him.

    I'm very sorry to hear about your friend. You can't blame yourself, though. Its impossible to know how someone is feeling unless they tell you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2009 8:31 AM GMT
    Thanks...apparently not many others have any better answers in this case. Since he won't respond it's probably best not to humor his threats anymore.
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    Mar 07, 2009 12:29 PM GMT
    Remove him from your friends list and block him. He is clearly manipulating you. I donĀ“t know what your relationship with him before was (just internet, in person etc), but I would not take responsibility for his behaviour if I were you.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2009 1:18 PM GMT
    I agree with the others that you are being manipulated by your 'friend' on facebook. Block that a-hole and cease all contact.

    As for dealing with your friend's suicide, I think you might benefit from talking to a counselor or a support group yourself. It's not good for you to go through these 'what if' scenarios and the associated guilt over and over again.

    I am happy for you to be not single anymore icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 10, 2009 8:25 PM GMT
    In your situation the thing I might have done differently would have been to contact the family, regardless of the time of day.

    Contrary to popular belief people who commit suicide often do give out clues beforehand (e.g. saying "somedays I don't think my life is worth living" or "I fell like a worthless piece of shit"). They may not give out a time and a method, but there are signs.

    Regardless of your actions, no matter what anyone else does, the person who is suicidal needs to take the initiative to improve their mental health.
  • joeindallas

    Posts: 484

    Mar 10, 2009 11:20 PM GMT
    Call him out on it Ask what type of catering he wants at his Retinue? (the meeting after the Funeral.) Hell it is the last free act of a free person
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 11, 2009 5:37 AM GMT
    I'd alert his family or the police and let them know he's a suicide risk.

    If he's truly suicidal he'll get the help he needs. If he's not, then he might think twice before pulling that card. Either way he's screwed up and someone needs to intervene before he hurts himself or someone else.

    Sorry to hear about your friend.icon_sad.gif That's never an easy thing to deal with.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 11, 2009 6:57 AM GMT
    My first reaction was that he want's attention. Reminds me of a suedo stalker I once had.