Hook-ups VS Relationships

  • Aznraven84

    Posts: 21

    Oct 16, 2007 12:34 PM GMT
    Have you ever met a guy and thought that they might be compatible with you or vice versa, but turns out that all they want to do is hook-up? Why is it that some people's goals are only to hook-up with as many people as they can and not date or further?
    Any opinions? I'm stumped to see so many people out there are just out to hump one another without a care in the world...
  • BlackJock79

    Posts: 437

    Oct 16, 2007 12:56 PM GMT
    I met an AMAZING guy who was the type of man I'd love to settle down with. He was so sexy... masculine, muscular, asian, really deep voice, a bottom, GREAT personality, kind, giving, considerate, and very intelligent. We hooked up many, many times and that's as far as it would go. I told him before I moved from the city we lived in that he is the type of guy I could see myself in a relationship with but I don't think that won me anymore points. LOL, I don't know, maybe I wasn't his type of guy? He was definetely my type though. He'll make someone very happy someday when he's ready to settle. I think some guys are scared of commitment. I know sometimes I am. Other times I think it would be cool to come home to one guy and not have to date for awhile. Especially with me not being out finding someone to be with would be ideal, but it seems like most guys aren't looking for someone to settle down with, just someone to get their rocks off with from time to time. Sad but true.
  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Oct 16, 2007 1:02 PM GMT
    It's called life.

    I think successful relationships are when two people want the same thing at the same time. You'll probably meet a lot of guys during your life that would make ideal partners for you, but either you're not ready or they aren't.

    Don't worry about it, just accept it as an irritating part of life.

    Lozx
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    Oct 16, 2007 1:07 PM GMT
    it seems that you have fallen in love with the wrong guy...
    If you wanna cudle instead of hooking up, well then, do not hook up!
    I know it is difficult to find a steady relationship for us but do not give up...



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    Oct 16, 2007 4:00 PM GMT
    it's a phase that some go through. Some go through it early on, then get, "serious." Others start out committed, then after a break-up or whatever, hook-up all the time, but it usually burns off.
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    Oct 17, 2007 11:38 AM GMT
    I agree with SuperJU. The only way you're going to know for sure, and this has worked for me, is to have the self control not to "hook-up" with someone with whom you think things could go further.

    The two LTR's I've had, we waited over a month of more of seeing each other almost every day before we had sex. It was very difficult but it helped. And when we finally did, it was awesome.

    We also spent the night together during those first weeks and didn't have sex, just slept together in the same bed and woke up together.

    If the guy you like wants to do that and so do you, you're on the right track, in my mind. Maybe it's a bit old fashioned, but it has worked for me.

    Just my $.02
  • Aznraven84

    Posts: 21

    Oct 17, 2007 1:06 PM GMT
    Thanks for your replies.
    It's just odd to think that some people that hook-up have tons of time to share with multiple people for a glimps, but would never share themselves with one or a few particular person/people.
    It is as if nurture vs nature are of two entirely different things.
    Heck even fuck buddies are understandable compaired to a one-night-stand with multiple people. Fuck buddies are still connected by a type of relationship. icon_razz.gif

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 19, 2013 1:25 PM GMT
    Men in general want sex. Gay men also want sex. It's sad that gay men don't want stability in their lives and want casual sex.

    http://www.gaystarnews.com/article/two-uk-men-one-hiv-admit-having-unsafe-sex-gay-teens-they-met-grindr141013

    Unsafe sexual practices in the UK.
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    Oct 19, 2013 1:34 PM GMT
    Oeaseaux saidMen in general want sex. Gay men also want sex. It's sad that gay men don't want stability in their lives and want casual sex.

    http://www.gaystarnews.com/article/two-uk-men-one-hiv-admit-having-unsafe-sex-gay-teens-they-met-grindr141013

    Unsafe sexual practices in the UK.


    what a way to generalise I know myself and many others that have incredibly stable and fulfilling lives and relationships.

    Oh and great thread necro
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    Oct 19, 2013 1:41 PM GMT
    boorangOz said
    Oeaseaux saidMen in general want sex. Gay men also want sex. It's sad that gay men don't want stability in their lives and want casual sex.

    http://www.gaystarnews.com/article/two-uk-men-one-hiv-admit-having-unsafe-sex-gay-teens-they-met-grindr141013

    Unsafe sexual practices in the UK.


    what a way to generalise I know myself and many others that have incredibly stable and fulfilling lives and relationships.

    Oh and great thread necro


    I read on the news that many people on Grindr don't reveal their HIV status and that is fine by me. They risk getting HIV and gay men just have more sex to satisfy their lust. Have you read the link above? Older gay men target young gay men (having just come out) and they do not care.

    Read this as well
    http://www.gaystarnews.com/article/vauxhall-drugs-crackdown-may-kill-gay-scene181013

    Gay men and drugs... sad
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    Oct 19, 2013 1:46 PM GMT
    Oeaseaux said
    boorangOz said
    Oeaseaux saidMen in general want sex. Gay men also want sex. It's sad that gay men don't want stability in their lives and want casual sex.

    http://www.gaystarnews.com/article/two-uk-men-one-hiv-admit-having-unsafe-sex-gay-teens-they-met-grindr141013

    Unsafe sexual practices in the UK.


    what a way to generalise I know myself and many others that have incredibly stable and fulfilling lives and relationships.

    Oh and great thread necro


    I read on the news that many people on Grindr don't reveal their HIV status and that is fine by me. They risk getting HIV and gay men just have more sex to satisfy their lust. Have you read the link above? Older gay men target young gay men (having just come out) and they do not care.

    Read this as well
    http://www.gaystarnews.com/article/vauxhall-drugs-crackdown-may-kill-gay-scene181013

    Gay men and drugs... sad


    Quite possibly most people dont ever get tested for any STI's, as far as im concerned Grindr is for fools anyway. I know many of my friends are on it and disagree but all they seem to do is whinge about the trade they find or the insults. id rather meet guys who I check out or are checking me out.
    Straight people do drugs too, and being that there are more of them i'd say its a bigger problem for the striaghts than it is for gays. We arent all drug fucked Britney/ Kylie/ Madonna lovers intent on fucking everything in sight, maybe you could remember that. Or just not care about what the papers say.
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Oct 19, 2013 2:15 PM GMT
    BlackJock79 saidI met an AMAZING guy who was the type of man I'd love to settle down with. He was so sexy... masculine, muscular, asian, really deep voice, a bottom, GREAT personality, kind, giving, considerate, and very intelligent. We hooked up many, many times and that's as far as it would go. I told him before I moved from the city we lived in that he is the type of guy I could see myself in a relationship with but I don't think that won me anymore points. LOL, I don't know, maybe I wasn't his type of guy? He was definetely my type though. He'll make someone very happy someday when he's ready to settle. I think some guys are scared of commitment. I know sometimes I am. Other times I think it would be cool to come home to one guy and not have to date for awhile. Especially with me not being out finding someone to be with would be ideal, but it seems like most guys aren't looking for someone to settle down with, just someone to get their rocks off with from time to time. Sad but true.


    I'm in the exact same situation right now. I met someone recently who's outstanding in bed, smart, sweet, caring and could make a great boyfriend. Our hookups are beyond hot and sexy.. But he has no time for a relationship.. and I think he just doesn't want one. I tried to cut him off once a couple of weeks ago.. but we reconnected this past week--sex good beyond belief! He's not ready.. What can I do?

    The sad thing is that I prefer to hookup with him than being out there and have terrible sex with new people.. or just be single and sexless until someone who actually wants a relationship comes along (which could be a long time here in NYC). I don't know what to do.. so I'm just going with the flow.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Oct 19, 2013 3:28 PM GMT
    PR_GMR said....The sad thing is that I prefer to hookup with him than being out there and have terrible sex with new people.. or just be single and sexless until someone who actually wants a relationship comes along (which could be a long time here in NYC). I don't know what to do.. so I'm just going with the flow.

    The question is, can you maintain enough emotional distance or whatever to have the sex and feel good about it and not end up feeling resentful for not having the deeper emotional bonding? If so, no problem but if not, ouch!
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    Oct 19, 2013 3:48 PM GMT
    boorangOz saidwhat a way to generalise I know myself and many others that have incredibly stable and fulfilling lives and relationships.

    Oh and great thread necro


    I'm 99% certain you're chatting with the Jas poster now under yet another profile. He might also be that creep phlegm, if not, certainly they are two of a kind.

    I don't believe for a second that he's concerned with the good health of anyone regardless of how he tries to present himself. More likely, he posts the type of crap which attempts to make people feel badly about being gay.

    When I saw the other post I clicked him (and it) onto ignore. I suspect he keeps changing his profile to get around the ignore click, so that he makes a mockery of the administration of this website.
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    Oct 19, 2013 3:50 PM GMT
    PR_GMR said

    I'm in the exact same situation right now. I met someone recently who's outstanding in bed, smart, sweet, caring and could make a great boyfriend. Our hookups are beyond hot and sexy.. But he has no time for a relationship.. and I think he just doesn't want one. I tried to cut him off once a couple of weeks ago.. but we reconnected this past week--sex good beyond belief! He's not ready.. What can I do?


    Be glad you've got yourself a fuck buddy - or perhaps FWB if you connect on other levels too. In my book you've totally scored.
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Oct 19, 2013 4:28 PM GMT
    okonomiyaki said
    PR_GMR said

    I'm in the exact same situation right now. I met someone recently who's outstanding in bed, smart, sweet, caring and could make a great boyfriend. Our hookups are beyond hot and sexy.. But he has no time for a relationship.. and I think he just doesn't want one. I tried to cut him off once a couple of weeks ago.. but we reconnected this past week--sex good beyond belief! He's not ready.. What can I do?


    Be glad you've got yourself a fuck buddy - or perhaps FWB if you connect on other levels too. In my book you've totally scored.


    Yeah. This time around I decided to just keep it going and not dictate any terms. I'm just gonna ride the wave, so to speak. We're truly amazing in bed and he's a good guy.. Sometimes, that's all you can ask for. And it's better than so much of the bad sex out there.