When Professionals become UNprofessional

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2009 6:08 PM GMT
    How would you feel if a professional, well known photographer, took advantage of the situation and turned a photo session into a jo session? Does it make it ok because we're gay?? I feel disgusted by it. icon_evil.gif
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    Mar 07, 2009 9:43 PM GMT
    depends on what kind of work he's respected for... no actual professional would do that unless the understanding was it would be more than just a photo op... nudity aint my thing anyway though...
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    Mar 07, 2009 10:06 PM GMT
    Walk out. icon_evil.gif
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    Mar 07, 2009 10:10 PM GMT
    rockitfuel saidHow would you feel if a professional, well known photographer, took advantage of the situation and turned a photo session into a jo session? Does it make it ok because we're gay?? I feel disgusted by it. icon_evil.gif


    more details required:

    was it a joint/mutual JO?
    did he JO just viewing you?

    Little sympathy for the first scenario, as you didnt have to participate

    If its scenario two, walk out. Ask for your money back and/or report him to your agency.
  • Rookz

    Posts: 947

    Mar 07, 2009 10:11 PM GMT
    With this knowledge and when you have another photo-shoot, just tell the photographer that boundaries have to be respected.
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    Mar 07, 2009 11:04 PM GMT
    Sounds like a potential case of sexual harassment. No?
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    Mar 08, 2009 7:16 AM GMT
    ok to give you more details about what happened.

    My bf referred to me to this guy who is well know for shooting for well know known gay publications down here. My bf has done photoshoots with this guy before so I was like ok i'll give it a try (never done this before). My bf just mentioned me as being a friend of his (if that matters).
    Anyway, the guy called me and said wanted to meet me to see which projects he can put me on and wanted to do a test shoot. So I said alright.
    I went to his office/studio and we were talking about it. He asked me if it was comfortable with being nude. I said it's fine as long as in the right context. So he said ok, let me see you naked then. He went on about what I can be used for. Then he's like ok, let me take some test shots. I said fine. We took some shots, he was telling me how to pose and such. Then he's like i want you to grab your dick and stand this way and that way...then he's like you need to make it bigger a little. I said ok, i'll try. So i was standing there trying to get hard in front of the camera...and it wasn't working that well. Then he's like just lay down on the floor and try to get it hard. I did and i was trying and it wasn't working. Then he suggested that he would help...i said ok (yes my mistake)...and then he started like biting my nipples...and stroking me...i was like this is just gonna make me cum and i wont be hard anymore (i do cum easily)...he's like that's ok we can shoot again...i did cum as i expected and he had his pants undone already and he's like im gonna shoot too...so he shot really quick and that was it....
    This is as detailed as i can get....i told my bf about what happened and he's mad at me because of it...and he just compares to his ex....i tried to explain the situation but he thinks that i enjoyed it...yes i believe i am responsible to some extent, but i feel like i was in a position were things like that weren't supposed to happen....i definitely wasn't expecting it nor i wanted it to happen...I try to be as honest as i can be with anyone and it seems being honest about happened to my bf didn't go very well with him...
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    Mar 08, 2009 7:53 AM GMT
    Do these "well-known gay publications" he works for typically show pictures of naked guys with erections? In other words, are they pornographic?
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Mar 08, 2009 2:02 PM GMT
    Well I can see where you are coming from in questioning the whole episode.

    The moment he told you to grab your cock was the first point he went too far.. if it was for general photography. I'm sure most professional photographers would never touch the subject they are photographing in any way.

    If it really bothers you, I'd write a letter to the magazine board who employs him and relate the story (perhaps in a less graphic way), but they understand what happened and that you were offended. Because your bf
    and the photographer are friends (and I really wonder why), he may object.
    I agree with Sedative, I would have ended it once he crossed the line.
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    Mar 08, 2009 3:32 PM GMT
    rotabilis saidDo these "well-known gay publications" he works for typically show pictures of naked guys with erections? In other words, are they pornographic?


    No, it's the ones you pickup at the local bar/store to see what's going in the scene. I did tell him that I don't want to do any pornogaphic material.
  • training_guy

    Posts: 271

    Mar 08, 2009 3:33 PM GMT
    It's your fault too, you should not have said yes when he offered to help.

    was he hot?
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    Mar 08, 2009 3:41 PM GMT
    gym_dude saidIt's your fault too, you should not have said yes when he offered to help.

    was he hot?


    I agree by saying "ok" you gave that man the impression he could do whatever. I mean did you think he was going to do when he asked if he could help?

    Photobucket
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    Mar 08, 2009 3:45 PM GMT
    gym_dude saidIt's your fault too, you should not have said yes when he offered to help.

    was he hot?


    I'm not saying I'm totally innocent but he's the professional not me.
    It feels like if you go to your doctor's office and he touches you the wrong way for the purpose of the "medical examination"...and you walk out of it wondering if that was supposed to happen...

    and no he wasn't hot.
  • swimbikerun

    Posts: 2835

    Mar 08, 2009 3:53 PM GMT
    Sounds like you actually kinda liked it. It's not like the guy raped you. I wonder if you'll seek to repeat the scene. My guess is "yes".
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    Mar 08, 2009 4:01 PM GMT
    swimbikerun saidSounds like you actually kinda liked it. It's not like the guy raped you. I wonder if you'll seek to repeat the scene. My guess is "yes".


    ummm if i liked it i would not mention it on here now would I ?????
    and no i will not be shooting with him again that's for sure.
  • training_guy

    Posts: 271

    Mar 08, 2009 4:21 PM GMT
    I think you feel guilty, especially as your bf was mad, and thats why you posted it on here!

    Nothing to do with the photographer really, he did ask
  • metta

    Posts: 39134

    Mar 08, 2009 5:19 PM GMT

    He did go way too far but you should have also stopped the situation when he said anything about getting hard.

    BTW, you may want to update your profile. It says that your single.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 08, 2009 5:39 PM GMT
    I think you should just take it as a lesson, on what not to do at a photo shoot. Learn from it and put the incident behind you. You'll feel better after a while.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 08, 2009 5:46 PM GMT
    Did he give you Viagra or something? Sound to me that you were game for the jo session seeing as you got hard and jacked off. No pity party here...sounds like you got exactly what you expected.
  • swimbikerun

    Posts: 2835

    Mar 08, 2009 5:51 PM GMT
    rockitfuel said
    swimbikerun saidSounds like you actually kinda liked it. It's not like the guy raped you. I wonder if you'll seek to repeat the scene. My guess is "yes".


    ummm if i liked it i would not mention it on here now would I ?????
    and no i will not be shooting with him again that's for sure.

    lol, no I didn't mean you'd be shooting with him again (no pun intended) but many pleasures are spiked with pain.

    Ayltws said
    I think you should just take it as a lesson, on what not to do at a photo shoot. Learn from it and put the incident behind you. You'll feel better after a while.


    Ayltws is right.

    • No crime was committed
    • No loss or damages on your part
    • No one forced you to get naked
    • Or play with yourself and...
    • You invited his touch and...
    • You chose to climax.

    One can only take advantage of those who are able or willing to be taken advantage of.
    Know thyself?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 08, 2009 5:53 PM GMT
    I'm afraid I'm going to have to agree with the other guys, you were equally culpable in this situation. I would have stopped him at the bit where he asked you to take your clothes off. I think that's a kind of give away!
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Mar 08, 2009 7:08 PM GMT
    How is it unprofessional when a photographer who likely does erotic or pornographic shots asks you if you're ok with it and you say yes
    .... proceeds to take the pictures he asked you about?

    Like Nancy said .... Just Say NO
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Mar 08, 2009 7:22 PM GMT
    Dude, you let some guy start munching on your nipples and play with himself while doing it. That didn't seem like a red flag? If you let that continue, you really only have yourself to blame. The photographer sounds like a scum ball, but you let it occur.
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    Mar 08, 2009 7:52 PM GMT
    rockitfuel said
    rotabilis saidDo these "well-known gay publications" he works for typically show pictures of naked guys with erections? In other words, are they pornographic?


    No, it's the ones you pickup at the local bar/store to see what's going in the scene. I did tell him that I don't want to do any pornogaphic material.


    Well, in that case, it seems odd that he even wanted you to be nude in the first place. That should have been a red flag right there. Shirtless in bikini briefs, maybe, but why nude? You say he "went on" about what it could be used for. Like what?

    Given that you willingly did all sorts of things that were completely unwarranted for a non-pornographic photo shoot, your boyfriend's reaction seems rather justified. You fucked up. If you want to repair the damage in your relationship, the first step is to acknowledge that, without reservation or qualifications.

    I'm not excusing the photographer. He's a sleaze. But he didn't make you do anything. So it's a cop-out even to say that you're "responsible to some extent". You are ENTIRELY responsible for your actions. One hundred percent. That is the mature position to take here.
  • MSUBioNerd

    Posts: 1813

    Mar 08, 2009 7:57 PM GMT
    The point where he first did something inappropriate was when he asked you to get an erection after you told him you didn't want to do anything pornographic.

    The point where you first made a mistake was agreeing to do so, instead of either saying "No, I told you I didn't want to do anything pornographic" or grabbing your clothes and walking out.

    From the way you present this story, the photographer seduced you. BUT, as has been pointed out, you're an adult. There was no force, nor threats. He didn't get you drunk, and you didn't say no. You even said OK to him making you hard. Drop the words "to some extent" -- you're responsible for your role in this situation, and it's not at all unreasonable for your boyfriend to be mad at you about it. Sure, it wouldn't have gotten sexual if he hadn't said you needed to be hard. It also wouldn't have gotten sexual if you had told him no.; or, if it had gotten sexual anyway, then you would have actually been a victim.

    Whether or not this situation was OK has nothing to do with the people involved being gay. It has everything to do with nobody saying no. While the photographer sounds somewhat sleazy, I really can't judge him too harshly for his behavior with a guy who was, as far as he could tell, a willing participant.