Do I have a "Workout Bro" or Potential Partner - No idea - PLS HELP!!!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2009 9:16 PM GMT
    I was in the gym about 2 weeks ago and made eye contact with another guy (Central American) working out. I thought we had a mutual attraction and found the courage and the opportunity to make casual conversation without it being awkward. I commented that he had great definition and I thought it was obvious that I was flirting, but sometimes I come across too straight for my own good because now we've been working out for almost 2 weeks and I'm not sure if we're just cool workout bros, or if there's some sexual tension/romantic potential here and now I'm kind of afraid of losing the great gym partner I have now by revealing my intentions, which are that I wouldn't mind dating this guy. Now I'm afraid it's going toward the "friendship zone," of no return....

    We definitely are close for just straight guys, but then again, some Latins (I'm white) are just really friendly and close straight guys, as I've found out from experience. I definitely flirt with him (touching his muscles while he's lifting, "bro" hugging him after workouts, talking about emotional things after our workouts, etc., but keep it respectful as I don't want it to turn creepy or uncomfortable.

    He only mentioned girlfriends once when he asked me if I have one. I said "no," but left it at that, as I wasn't sure if he was asking because he wanted to "set things straight," or was digging, hoping I might be gay. I asked him and he said it's been 3 months since his last gf 'cause it's hard to "find the right girl in LA."

    We went to dinner last night and on the ride home, we talked about our parents - he said that when I had kids that I'd do things different from my parents. I told him I wasn't sure I'd ever have kids (hint, hint)...

    Maybe he is straight and just has a "man crush" on me, or knows I'm into him but puts up with it because he likes the attention.....but I can't take the ambiguity much longer though -

    MY QUESTION: Is there something I can do, say, or intimate that will give me an answer one way or another OR should I just forget the whole thing and be happy with our workout/bro4 dynamic now (I'm getting in fantastic shape!)???
    THANKS icon_neutral.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2009 9:38 PM GMT
    Ask him about his girlfriend or if he even has one, that would be a big clue. Ask him to do something sometime, something simple like eating out and ask if he can make it, or does he have to check with a girlfriend first.
  • oxdr

    Posts: 92

    Mar 09, 2009 3:00 PM GMT
    pecfan saidAsk him about his girlfriend or if he even has one, that would be a big clue. Ask him to do something sometime, something simple like eating out and ask if he can make it, or does he have to check with a girlfriend first.



    I don't mean to point out the obviouse but his buddy stated that it had been three months since his last GF.

    Anyway, he states that it is hard to find an LA girlfriend, no, and if he is as defined as you say he is then it would not be hard to find an LA girl.

    Have a day at the beach with him, and go some place with a lot of people, Try Venice on a Saturday see where his eyes wonders, see what he says when a hot women goe's by (you pointing out the flaws). You say SOME (and really some not a lot) things about a hot man, see what he says. One thing is because your actions and hints have been so shadowed, if he is gay, you are leading it to be friends. Do a spa or manicure together, that is always great after a workout even for str8 men. Tell him your underwear just doesn't feel like it's fitting right or a better question, my work out shorts aren't to revealing are they? Even a str8 man would answer that, then ask, any ideas for a new brand??? You need to be LA secure. Lets say he isn't gay just tell him that you weren't sure where the friendship was heading and state the one obviouse thing, you really enjoy working out together and being friends too.

    It's LA it is hard to tell who is straight or gay so that I understand.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 09, 2009 3:14 PM GMT
    Well, first step would be to tell him your gay. If he's truly a friend, it shouldn't matter to him. Once he knows your gay, then he may feel more comfortable to reveal if he is or not.

    If he's straight, he will probably let you know soon after you tell him you're gay- they usually do. Then you know it's just a friend/ work-out bro thing.

    If he's gay, then you can start focusing on getting him interested in more than workout bros.
  • oxdr

    Posts: 92

    Mar 09, 2009 3:16 PM GMT
    I had to edit this do to the fact that what Rthym1438 said is very true.

    I also wanted to tell you what LA means to me.

    Locked Action

    You do what you do there and Lock it in and put it to Action.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 09, 2009 3:18 PM GMT
    "Accidentally" trip and fall so that your face lands right in his crotch. Linger, and if he pushes your face harder to his body, he's into you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 09, 2009 8:09 PM GMT
    Thanks, I really appreciate all your advice. I guess it's so hard for me because I've never been that comfortable in the gay scene, so I have to meet guys in everyday life. It's easy when it's obvious, but a lot harder when it's more ambiguous. Compounded by the fact that I've made mistakes before (thinking a guy was gay, but ended up being straight), and I end up feeling bad about myself, so I have to play it cool, I guess. I've also been in the situation where a guy might be "curious," experimenting with me, only to go back to women again....great for your self-confidence by the way icon_sad.gif

    Anyway with this situation, we went out yesterday, and it really felt like a date to me, but again ambiguous. But there was hope....I mentioned last week that we should probably take "before and afters" of our bodies to judge our progress. Yesterday, he was the one to bring it up, right out of the blue, so I suggested that after our next workout, we could go to my place and do the "before and after" shots. I keep asking myself if a straight guy would have been so interested in wanting pics of his body to be taken by another guy...but I suppose anything is possible. I guess I'll just have to see what happens next and let it unfold naturally.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 09, 2009 8:24 PM GMT
    ScottyJ saidI was in the gym about 2 weeks ago and made eye contact with another guy (Central American) working out. I thought we had a mutual attraction and found the courage and the opportunity to make casual conversation without it being awkward. I commented that he had great definition and I thought it was obvious that I was flirting, but sometimes I come across too straight for my own good because now we've been working out for almost 2 weeks and I'm not sure if we're just cool workout bros, or if there's some sexual tension/romantic potential here and now I'm kind of afraid of losing the great gym partner I have now by revealing my intentions, which are that I wouldn't mind dating this guy. Now I'm afraid it's going toward the "friendship zone," of no return....

    We definitely are close for just straight guys, but then again, some Latins (I'm white) are just really friendly and close straight guys, as I've found out from experience. I definitely flirt with him (touching his muscles while he's lifting, "bro" hugging him after workouts, talking about emotional things after our workouts, etc., but keep it respectful as I don't want it to turn creepy or uncomfortable.

    He only mentioned girlfriends once when he asked me if I have one. I said "no," but left it at that, as I wasn't sure if he was asking because he wanted to "set things straight," or was digging, hoping I might be gay. I asked him and he said it's been 3 months since his last gf 'cause it's hard to "find the right girl in LA."

    We went to dinner last night and on the ride home, we talked about our parents - he said that when I had kids that I'd do things different from my parents. I told him I wasn't sure I'd ever have kids (hint, hint)...

    Maybe he is straight and just has a "man crush" on me, or knows I'm into him but puts up with it because he likes the attention.....but I can't take the ambiguity much longer though -

    MY QUESTION: Is there something I can do, say, or intimate that will give me an answer one way or another OR should I just forget the whole thing and be happy with our workout/bro4 dynamic now (I'm getting in fantastic shape!)???
    THANKS icon_neutral.gif


    Stop with the drama. Jeeze. Just ask the man for crying out loud. This isn't rocket science.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 09, 2009 8:39 PM GMT
    Lets us know how the photo shoot turns out! As for the kids comment. many a gay guy desires and eventually adopts. Families are very important especially in Latin America.
  • styrgan

    Posts: 2017

    Mar 09, 2009 8:58 PM GMT
    For once, I am in total agreement with Chucky.

    You've had multiple opportunities to drop the gay bomb without it being awkward.
  • SFGeoNinja

    Posts: 510

    Mar 09, 2009 9:29 PM GMT
    I don't know any straight guys who do topless workout photos with their gym buddies. Not even in LA.

    A previous poster (blanking on the name, sorry) pointed out something really important: Raising a family plays such a huge role in Latin culture even for openly gay guys, having children and a family is central to your identity as a man, gay or straight. So you might have not gone the right track with that question about having kids.

    If he is as comfortable with you as he seems, he will not overreact when you tell him you are gay. You don't have to necessarily drop the G-bomb. You can bring it up casually like starting a sentence "when I was first coming out" or mentioning the name of a gay bar you've been to. Chances are either way he will have little reaction, I mean he already lets you feel him up when he flexes and take post-workout pics, right?icon_lol.gif