Ever regret saying "Goodbye"?

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    Mar 08, 2009 11:24 PM GMT
    Some times you come across someone who is very special, and they cherish you as someone/something amazing to them. You care for them very much, but for whatever reason there is conflict that motivates doubt in your heart and mind. (Could be sexually or just personality differences)


    Realizing that the relationship is no longer prospering, but becoming stale.
    You finally build the strength to use those heart breaking words, "I need a break" or "goodbye".


    Even if you felt you made the right discussion at that time. Did you find yourself regretting it later?
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    Mar 09, 2009 1:29 AM GMT
    Nope
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    Mar 09, 2009 1:51 AM GMT
    Nope. I know that scenario, but I move on without having regrets later. Regrets suggest either having made the wrong decision, or not having strong convictions about yourself and the decisions you make.
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    Mar 09, 2009 2:45 AM GMT
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    Mar 09, 2009 3:31 AM GMT
    Well, speculating about what the future might have held is fantastical. You could dream of it turning into an ideally romantic and wonderful long lasting relationship. But it could have just as easily turned into years and years of miserable monogamous acrimony during your most sexually driven years.

    Having said that... I did date someone in my late teens/early 20s and we broke things off just because it was a long distance thing with no expectation that our lives would converge in one location anytime soon. But we really clicked very well and have kept in touch as friends to this day. I do think if we had managed to be in the same location, we would now still be together.
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    Mar 09, 2009 3:50 AM GMT
    Yes. We parted ways over 10 years ago and re-connected on the phone just recently. My feelings of regret for letting him out of my life were and are very strong. Being that I am in Florida and he is in Montana........
    Damn, I'm left with the feeling of "what could have been'.
    I still adore him and realize again exactly why I fell in love with him the very first time I saw him. Ouch! icon_confused.gif
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    Mar 09, 2009 3:55 AM GMT
    No
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    Mar 09, 2009 3:58 AM GMT
    Yeah. Quite recently too. It was a friend though.

    Its one of the most painful things I ever had to do.
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    Mar 09, 2009 4:25 AM GMT
    Actually, I just had to do this.

    I've had an on again, off again relationship with a guy that I really love for about 1 and half years, but he can't commit to just one guy. Somehow we've been able to stay friends during our 5 or 6 breakups (our break up/back together cycles were lightning fast sometimes). But this weekend, I finally told him we can't hang out because I keep getting my heart broken and he keeps cheating on guys he's seeing with me. And I told him I can't move on if he can't make up his mind about me.

    I don't regret telling him we can't see each other, even if it is "just friends." But I do regret that I'm not at a place in my life where I can tell him no when he wants to get back together with me. I know it's for the best, but I'll miss the friendship because I've never felt as close to someone as I did him. But it was definitely the right decision.
  • qalbi30

    Posts: 116

    Mar 09, 2009 5:34 AM GMT
    No regrets,if and when a relationship becomes stale it is best to end it before it becomes toxic.
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    Mar 09, 2009 6:14 AM GMT
    at times i miss the ones I've loved. But then I remember how immature they were. But I can't help but miss them. Regret yes and no. I find myself wondering what ever happened to ____ or ____ . But then I remember I have the greatest guy ever and I smile and only wish the others the best. Ya when I run into them my heart skips a beat and I get some weird feeling of longing for them. But ultimately the relationship was doomed to fail..
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    Mar 09, 2009 10:43 AM GMT
    ActiveAndFit said


    Ray of Light is such a great album...lol you are making me ponder now Active.icon_lol.gif "I see what you did there".

    NCaliGuyYa when I run into them my heart skips a beat and I get some weird feeling of longing for them.


    Yeah I'm always afraid this will happen in the future, but I'm mature enough to deal with unexpected circumstances. Well that's what the mind says,hopefully the hear too lol.
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    Mar 09, 2009 11:28 AM GMT
    No. Once you are gone, you are gone with the wind, and frankly I don't give a dam. But I have to make that move, as I'm very tolerant. But once it's done, it's done....
  • athlftlguy

    Posts: 26

    Mar 09, 2009 11:28 AM GMT
    Mycro saidActually, I just had to do this.

    I've had an on again, off again relationship with a guy that I really love for about 1 and half years, but he can't commit to just one guy. Somehow we've been able to stay friends during our 5 or 6 breakups (our break up/back together cycles were lightning fast sometimes). But this weekend, I finally told him we can't hang out because I keep getting my heart broken and he keeps cheating on guys he's seeing with me. And I told him I can't move on if he can't make up his mind about me.

    I don't regret telling him we can't see each other, even if it is "just friends." But I do regret that I'm not at a place in my life where I can tell him no when he wants to get back together with me. I know it's for the best, but I'll miss the friendship because I've never felt as close to someone as I did him. But it was definitely the right decision.


    Been there....still doing that....sort of.

    Split with my ex. We both have strong feelings for one another. Needed to do the separation thing, cause it is impossible to heal and remove oneself from those emotions....even trying to do the 'just friends' thing, a little too soon after the breakup.

    No regrets though. The friendship I have/had with him is something I look forward to being able to re-establish some day, and this period of absence is essential for us both to being able to come together as friends again.

    Sometimes the most difficult choices we make in life are often the right ones. No regrets.
  • cityguy39

    Posts: 967

    Mar 09, 2009 12:14 PM GMT
    Well, that's exactly what I'm going through right now. My BF of 3yrs(on and off) told me he needed a break from me to think things over for 2weeks. I told him it felt like goodbye. It might be a break for him but for me I think it's over. I have to go with my gut feelings on this one.
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    Mar 09, 2009 10:35 PM GMT
    cityguy39 saidWell, that's exactly what I'm going through right now. My BF of 3yrs(on and off) told me he needed a break from me to think things over for 2weeks. I told him it felt like goodbye. It might be a break for him but for me I think it's over. I have to go with my gut feelings on this one.


    Well maybe it's a short goodbye...but after a month or a few weeks you may want to consider the worst scenario. Just so you won't keep waiting and get disappointment in the end for wasting time.

    It's only fair to yourself.
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    Mar 10, 2009 1:58 AM GMT
    no regrets.
    deep down you have to do what makes it best for you.
    you shouldn't stay in something for fear of never finding somebody because that makes you miserable... be fearless and move on.
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    Mar 10, 2009 2:16 AM GMT
    No, not in my experience. Usually I date someone because they've got something that stands apart the the majority of guys. I fuck around with most guys, cause that's all a relationship with them will merit, a quick fuck. I think I'm in the position of the guy you're hypothetically or literally talking about, but I know that I want this relationship; though I know I'm not good enough, AT THE MOMENT. It totally sucks. Then there's that phrase I hear from gay and straight people alike, and I linger on why "'gay relationships are flightsy'?" I hate dating in blissful flightsy uncertainty. I become so sequestered and morose. I could just crawl deep inside myself and never come out again, but then I remember there are other men out there, and maybe, just maybe, one of them is meant for me, and I'll be happy just Living My Life until he comes around. That's after I get over some heartache. Who wants to do some shots with me!?
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    Mar 10, 2009 2:17 AM GMT
    ActiveAndFit said


    Great response! This actually is helping leech the pain from me now.
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    Mar 10, 2009 2:23 AM GMT
    No, because I only say goodbye to those who choose to hurt me.

    There's no regretting that kind of decision
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    Mar 10, 2009 2:57 AM GMT
    I have yet to regret saying goodbye to anyone.

    It is often a necessity rather than a choice and very traumatic. I hate goodbyes because with me they are final.
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    Mar 10, 2009 3:15 AM GMT
    I'm going through this exact situation right now.. only i was the one who was dumped, just like i always am.

    i knew the relationship was going through some difficult times--it had been for the past few months, but i'm the type of person who likes to look on the bright side.. i try to work things out. but he just gave up.
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    Mar 10, 2009 3:20 AM GMT
    Not as many times as I do saying "hello"
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    Mar 10, 2009 3:42 AM GMT
    I'm with d4orce,

    It was time for me to leave the small town I was in. When the universe says "it's time to go" you kinda have to listen. We were in love and I wanted him to move with me. He couldn't because of family illness and he was the caretaker. I actually flew back to see him twice....and even thru the hurt of us being apart, he still chose to see me and spend time together. Although I don't wonder "what could have been" because I know in my heart, we simply "would've been" :-)

    The other challenge that wasn't? He's poz, I'm neg. He was my man and I was his. If things were different, we'd definitely be celebrating a double digit anniversary. We recently reconnected via email and picked up where we left off. Love & respect still intact. Not into Madonna. For this, "The Music of Goodbye" - Love theme from the movie "Out of Africa"

    Thanks Mark. I love you.
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Mar 10, 2009 12:15 PM GMT
    I am lying if I say I dont regret letting go of my bfs. I share love, affection , good/bad times and they will always be part of my life. Those nite sleeping in their arm, sharing joke ,arguement and fight . But I move on.