women versus men in the workplace

  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Mar 09, 2009 11:42 PM GMT
    I'm not 'out' at work, or identifiable as gay, so this isn't a gay question, just a workplace question, but since I don't hang out on any social psychology websites, and since gay men know everything, I thought I'd ask:

    I have two careers. I love them both.

    My non-problematic one is a real-estate office. Until about 2 decades ago in North America, that was a totally male dominated profession. That male mindset still is pervasive in the offices, even though women have probably overtaken the number of men in it, or are closing in on taking over.

    I don't find women there behaving any differently than the men. It's all about business, and service, and getting the job done. No games.

    And then I go to my other job, at the hospital. It's traditionally a female-dominated environment.

    My co-workers are somewhere near the median between the janitor and the chief of staff. Professionals with a college education but not yet pulling in 6 figures.

    I feel like I'm can never satisfy them. No matter what I do, the women will find some way to say that I did something wrong. I see other men in my department having the same problem.

    Are these females taking their frustration with their husbands out on the men they work with? Anger at the exboyfriends? Is it a broader control thing about being in control in a male dominated world?

    Before you go on about me making generalizations, no I agree. It's not every female. But, there's a pattern there.

    Has anyone else had similar experiences, or any opinions? (Like that's not going to happen! icon_eek.gif )





  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 10, 2009 12:02 AM GMT
    its hard to imagine all women are this way within your organization. From my own experience, women who have worked together for a number of years are more prone to being in cliques and therefore more "picky".

    I think the profession also dictates. Real Estate = sales focused/customer service. have to earn your keep

    Med Services = Unionized, bureaucratic, no expectation or measure of customer service, once hired/never fired
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Mar 10, 2009 12:09 AM GMT
    um no, it's Canada. There are standards and if you suck, at what you do, you get fired.
  • barriehomeboy

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    Mar 10, 2009 12:10 AM GMT
    and I clarified it wasn't all, just prevalent. Any ideas?
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    Mar 10, 2009 12:43 AM GMT
    I've heard that a lot of nursing schools give male nursing students a hard time. The teachers just don't like men in "their profession".
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    Mar 10, 2009 12:54 AM GMT
    Well I work as a nurse. The field is 85% women, and the nature of the field is bitchy, and manipulative, and things are done behind your back, and women hold a grudge over the smallest of things, and can hold it forever.

    I had one nurse tell me once. I was like her husband and son, and they never do what she demands. So she took it out on me, harassment.

    Women do not really belive inequality. They want power, and want to dominate men.

    I am very light hearted at work, and am much loved and respected. But many grumpy women resent this. I just say: well I can be happy while I work, as you can be a bitch.

    I long to get back into the male workforce. A guy has an issue with you, it's in your face, you deal with it, and move on, and have a beer with each other at the end of the day, at the pub. Doesn't work that way with women. They are to vindictive and spiteful. Not all, but most.
  • barriehomeboy

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    Mar 10, 2009 1:09 AM GMT
    You nailed it. That's the experience
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    Mar 10, 2009 1:13 AM GMT
    barriehomeboy saidYou nailed it. That's the experience


    It's so sad, isn't it.
  • barriehomeboy

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    Mar 10, 2009 1:15 AM GMT
    ok, not to get gross about it, but with that many women together, their cycles seem to link up

    menstrual I mean, shucks
  • barriehomeboy

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    Mar 10, 2009 1:19 AM GMT
    chics r fucked in the head, even when they r running a nursing school
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    Mar 10, 2009 1:19 AM GMT
    barriehomeboy saidum no, it's Canada. There are standards and if you suck, at what you do, you get fired.


    I live in Canada and have far too much experience with healthcare and the "professionals" therein. Nurses are progressively worse with attitude and "customer service" as their tenure and union seniority increases.

    Being a bitch doesnt get you fired, you have to severely injure or maim for that to happen. General incompetence wont get you canned in Alberta.
  • barriehomeboy

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    Mar 10, 2009 1:21 AM GMT
    Pattison is my thinking too. Sorry, not seeing how to chat in this nonchat chat room
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    Mar 10, 2009 1:25 AM GMT
    I think this intriguing, considering my work experience, are down here in Oz, and you are way away in another country. Yet there is a strong correlation.

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    Mar 10, 2009 1:32 AM GMT
    barriehomeboy saidok, not to get gross about it, but with that many women together, their cycles seem to link up

    menstrual I mean, shucks

    That's a proven phenomenon, first seriously observed & studied in women's college dorms. As for your 2 work environments, let me ask you this:

    Do the men & women in your real estate office largely operate as independent agents, without a strict hierarchy of authority and without close supervision? And are the problem women in the hospital mostly in some level of supervisory position? Or where they have professional oversight duties?

    My own experience is that many women do not make good supervisors or leaders. They can be competent when working independently, but fail at overseeing others, or when required to work in close harmony with others. This has been noted before, and many theories abound, with reasons being given from cultural to hormonal.
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    Mar 10, 2009 3:52 AM GMT
    Most of my jobs have had mainly women in them. Yes, they are vindictive, hold massive grudges and will start rumors and spread gossip faster than you can blink your eyes, but the more important it is the least likely they will let anyone know. Sometimes they make no sense at all.

    I was in a stupid argument with a supervisor at my last job and she asked me if I really thought it was the supervisors job to make sure the people were trained properly. Of course I said yes and then she said she was very offended. wtf?

    I tend to compliment people on their job performance or if it's a woman their new appearance because I'm observant and I like making people feel good about themselves. Like a new hair style. That same supervisor told me that it is a compliment to not compliment someone.

    Did I mention that they will hold a grudge for a long time? If it's over 2 months and the grudge is still there I think it is long past due for a therapist to be called. My last job could have used an in house therapist.
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    Mar 10, 2009 6:10 AM GMT
    I had a job working with people with disabilities in a day placement.

    My role finished an hour before anyone ells. Now my boss was big on how things looked, not how they were.

    Well at the end of my day. I just left, silently. I could tell something was bothering her, and I started to ask what was wrong, nothing I got.
    Well OK I thought.

    Six months latter, it was still going on, so I pushed her for an answer. She was pissed that I did not know. She informed me. It did not look good that I just left, and did not say good bye to anyone.

    Hells bells. Is that all. Fixed. the next day I waved to her when I left, and gave her a big smile. The reasion I left without saying anything, was because the rest of the staff were flat out finishing their word so they too could leave.

    Yes they hold a grudge over the smallest of thing, and you may not even know what it is that you have done. Because they don't want resolve, they want to hug that grudge.

    I laugh when women say there would be no wars, if women were in power. Shit the whole world would be a war zone.
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    Mar 10, 2009 7:12 AM GMT
    Pattison saidI laugh when women say there would be no wars, if women were in power. Shit the whole world would be a war zone.


    ROFLOLCOPTER!!! Yeah, there would not be just one nuclear war. There would be several over a few days. I guess it is good that Hillary didn't become president!
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    Mar 10, 2009 7:20 AM GMT
    Pattison saidI had a job working with people with disabilities in a day placement.

    My role finished an hour before anyone ells. Now my boss was big on how things looked, not how they were.

    Well at the end of my day. I just left, silently. I could tell something was bothering her, and I started to ask what was wrong, nothing I got.
    Well OK I thought.

    Six months latter, it was still going on, so I pushed her for an answer. She was pissed that I did not know. She informed me. It did not look good that I just left, and did not say good bye to anyone.

    Hells bells. Is that all. Fixed. the next day I waved to her when I left, and gave her a big smile. The reasion I left without saying anything, was because the rest of the staff were flat out finishing their word so they too could leave.

    Yes they hold a grudge over the smallest of thing, and you may not even know what it is that you have done. Because they don't want resolve, they want to hug that grudge.

    I laugh when women say there would be no wars, if women were in power. Shit the whole world would be a war zone.


    A pet peeve of mine is really this whole "She was pissed that I did not know." Women do this a lot, as do some gay men. They expect you to know exactly what you did that bothered them and to apologize for it without them having to ask. Simply not knowing is often worse than the original offense, whether it was actually an offense even is irrelevant. It's especially annoying at a job, because if you break some written or unwritten rule and honestly don't know and no one corrects you then you can never learn. Bosses must be confrontational when an employee slips up, not just act angry till the employee picks up on it and tries to make amends.
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    Mar 10, 2009 9:27 AM GMT
    It's difficult to address this one without sounding like a sexist, but I totally understand where you're coming from. This can be particularly pronounced in larger markets such as NYC and LA, where many executive-level women with whom I've worked have had a chip or two on their shoulders.

    Generally speaking, (executive) women can be far more difficult to work with. They will almost always throw a man under the bus before they do another female associate. One thing I have come to learn is that if you steer clear, their only option is to tear each other apart.

    Always keep it professional. Be courteous, but do only what's required of you and get the hell out after your work day is done. Don't try to be their friend because it won't work! Keep your head down, and you'll be fine.
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    Mar 10, 2009 9:36 AM GMT
    This is slightly off topic, but is an ongoing experience I am having with a woman that doesn't know how to manage people after 15 years in the public sector and another 10 in education. In one of my classes we are creating and executing a marketing campaign for a government organization and the prof is a woman. The first half of the semester was about getting ready for the campaign pitch and then we had it last week. (background: class is set up like an agency and me and one other guy are the acount coordinators for the project)

    Well we had the presentation and for the most part it went fairly well, not as good as one could have hoped but everyone had put many hours into it. Within the next 24 hours we received 11 negative emails regarding the pitch and not one positive comment, now is that how you motivate a bunch of college students who are not getting paid for the job, but instead paying for it. Fortunately me and the other account head were smart enough to shield the other 25 students that WE are managing from her truthfully personal and hurtful comments.

    By the way the negative comments mostly had to do with things that our client had mislead us with, which she tried to make personal. Hmm thinking about resigning from my position, I don't have to deal with her bullshit especially after not sleeping for 3 days straight so that everything would be how she likes it (turned out to be the wrong way).

    Sorry about my venting. I have also had some amazing woman teachers at my school along with working for a company that has a woman VP, although she is gay, so don't know if that counts, but she does an amazing job and knows how to manage people.
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    Mar 10, 2009 10:10 AM GMT
    collagestudent. You know. I feel your comments were relevant to this topic, it all adds up, and we are not even a group of misogynist. Some of my best friends have been women. But not the ones I work with, as trouble will follow.

    I want to go back to uni. But the feamle teachers are stoping me. I know many will find this hard to belive, but I will talk back to them, and this only leeds to trouble, and expolsion.

    Have I been expelled before for doing so. Hell yes! Because they are spitful and vintictive, and I can't not talk back for 3 years.
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Mar 10, 2009 6:20 PM GMT
    OMG Tapper is so sexy! You guys are funny. Thanks for confirming that women are crazy bitches all over the world.

    I was lying awake last night, fuming over an incident I had at work yesterday with two women (onlookers said afterwards that I was right) and I came up with a theory.

    Our behavior is influenced by instincts and homonal changes that kept our ancient ancestors alive as we evolved (sorry creationists.)

    People lived in caves. Women developed communication skills and behaviors that protected their family's section of the cave. Men developed skills (like not talking constantly and scaring away the wildebeasts) to work in a team environment with other men to bring home the bacon, literally.

    Most of the time, women work in opposition to other women (protecting the cave.) There's a time every month though when they exhibit comradship with the other women, and constantly harrass the men around them.

    I suspect that this is during the part of their cycles when they are able to get pregnant. By being so judgemental, it limits the odds of them getting knocked up by some loser. The guy that gets them pregnant has to be strong enough to overcome all the craziness.

    Then they go back to being able to work with other men, but not with other women.



  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Mar 10, 2009 6:28 PM GMT
    I think a lot of differences in the work place come from the same difference men and women seem to have in their relationships. I think men tend to be direct - they need something, they ask for it (or demand it as the case may be). I think women tend to be more collaborative and want a consensus, and feel that people should be more open and aware when others need something from you.