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Gay guys don't want kids??
EricPrado Posts: 161	Mar 10, 2009 7:08 PM GMT Is it just me or do gay guys seem to really despise little kids? Wherever I go it looks like children and gay men just don't mix. I probably wouldn't want any kids anytime soon...heck, not even in ten years. But I mean, I would want a kid someday you know? isn't that how it's supposed to go? Today for example, I babysat my nephew for a few hrs and my friend who was with me, did nothing but complain the whole time. Kids are too much hard work, annoying, they get sick all the time...blah blah blah. It's not just him though. All my gay friends don't want kids. Maybe it's because they're still young? (we're all in our 20's) It's just hard to understand because everyone wants gay marriage to be legalized but then when the topic of kids comes along they just back away. I thought the whole point of getting married was to start a family? What's your view on all of this, do you have kids of your own? Maybe you think kids are a bad idea? I have my day off today and I'm bored

Hidden member	Mar 10, 2009 7:30 PM GMT EricPrado said But I mean, I would want a kid someday you know? isn't that how it's supposed to go? All my gay friends don't want kids. It's just hard to understand because everyone wants gay marriage to be legalized but then when the topic of kids comes along they just back away. I thought the whole point of getting married was to start a family? What's your view on all of this, do you have kids of your own? Maybe you think kids are a bad idea? I have my day off today and I'm bored Well it´s supposed to go that we get married to a pretty little lady and have kids, live in a house with a white picket fence and coach football and baseball with the boys, while our wife and daughters make cookies and do kneedlepoint. Then weekends we walk the dogs and tailgate before the game. On sunday go to church (it´s good for business and the wife likes the kids to grow up that way) and go out for lunch and eat southern BBQ. The idea behind gay marriage is not to pretend that we´re part of the hetro stereotype, but to get equal recognition in law. That may mean that people want to adopt, be parents etc, but may not. I don´t want kids, but I do want the possibility to visit a significant other if he´s in a car accident and have our relationship on the same footing as the guy with the white picket fence. Equality, not "copy".
Hidden member	Mar 10, 2009 7:32 PM GMT I want kids eventually.
Hidden member	Mar 10, 2009 7:55 PM GMT It is just you, I know of many gay guys that not only want kids, but have them. I know of one couple that have four kids.
Cowboiway Posts: 520	Mar 10, 2009 7:55 PM GMT Most gay men are afraid of work and commitment in relationships and life in general. So it would only make sense that commitment to a kid and the work with one would not be wanted. I want kids, love them.
Hidden member	Mar 10, 2009 7:58 PM GMT Children are fanged imps cloaked in flesh coats, sent from Hell to put misery and displeasure upon the human race. But there is a part of me that wants a son, I'd name him Brandon and he'd look just like me...and I'd spoil him rotten.
jprichva Posts: 4654	Mar 10, 2009 7:59 PM GMT I married a lesbian friend a zillion years ago precisely to have children. We had two, who are now wonderful adults, but raising them was a time in my life I wouldn't have traded for anything. I wish my ex-wife were still around to see how well they turned out.
mcwclewis Posts: 724	Mar 10, 2009 8:00 PM GMT I love little kids. I definately plan on having some, once I get my life together, of course.
McGay Posts: 5116	Mar 10, 2009 8:03 PM GMT Is it just me or do gay men assume too much about other gay men?
lXxAngelusxXl Posts: 59	Mar 10, 2009 8:03 PM GMT EW kids. nuff' said.
Hidden member	Mar 10, 2009 8:04 PM GMT As the oldest of 5 kids, I have paid my dues and have no desire to have kids. Y'all can pick up my slack.
TheIStrat Posts: 1777	Mar 10, 2009 8:05 PM GMT I want A kid. Just one. There are so many children who need to be adopted, and I think gay people are the right ones to do so. I want to adopt one, a boy. And I'll take him to baseball games, sign him up for peewee football, and once he's old enough, let him make decisions. I really want to see as a kid and teenager what kinds of things he really becomes passionate about, be it art, sports, theater, or whatever. I'll totally cheer him on in whatever he does.
Hidden member	Mar 10, 2009 8:08 PM GMT Cowboiway saidMost gay men are afraid of work and commitment in relationships and life in general. So it would only make sense that commitment to a kid and the work with one would not be wanted. I want kids, love them. I don't necessarily disagree with most of your statement, except for the inclusion of the word gay. From what I have seen, many men are afraid of work and commitment in relationships (and many women would probably agree with me).
Cowboiway Posts: 520	Mar 10, 2009 8:10 PM GMT planekrazy said Cowboiway saidMost gay men are afraid of work and commitment in relationships and life in general. So it would only make sense that commitment to a kid and the work with one would not be wanted. I want kids, love them. I don't necessarily disagree with most of your statement, except for the inclusion of the word gay. From what I have seen, many men are afraid of work and commitment in relationships (and many women would probably agree with me). Yes but the questions asked by the OP was specifc about gay men. I stayed to the subject of the questions
luvjunkie Posts: 328	Mar 10, 2009 8:13 PM GMT Oh no I completely disagree, I love kids! However, what I hate are the people who let their kids run around in public like yard apes while yelling at their little tax write offs to behave, be quiet, or stand still, i mean, seriously, they have leashes for those things you know? But yes eventually I would like to adopt, I mean, Angelina can't adopt em all.
AF_Jock Posts: 17	Mar 10, 2009 8:15 PM GMT Yes, I have 2 children from when I was married. She passed away. They are the most important people in my life. However, there are a number of straight people who don't want kids either. The ratio is not as high as it is with people with our lifestyles, but lifestyle does have an influence on your choice to have children or take on that type of responsibility....but I shouldn't speak for other peoples' opinions. To be gay and want to have children is a huge decision. There's a lot involved with adoption. Not the time or expense...YOU have to have your shit together mentally, fiscally, and environmentally. If you ever decide to do it, make sure your relationship can handle it. If not, the children will suffer.
NewbieNew Posts: 63	Mar 10, 2009 8:17 PM GMT I used to hate kids. I wanted nothing to do with them. But then all of a sudden, about a year ago it was like a switch was flipped and now I eventually want a kid once I get my life more situated. I don't know if it is me growing up and maturing more, or if it is seeing my straight friends with their kids and witnessing what a pleasure they are or what. All I know now is that my mom is super excited that she won't have to soley rely on my brother for grandkids.
Ducky46 Posts: 2604	Mar 10, 2009 8:20 PM GMT No McGay is not just you I ASSUME they thing that you do. You are just tooo funny!
Ducky46 Posts: 2604	Mar 10, 2009 8:27 PM GMT I broke up with someone because he did not want kids and I wanted two. we had my sisters kids one weekend. He totally freak out would not talk would not inner act and they were like 4 and 6 at the time. Thank god I did not bring the newborn. He admitted that he just hates kids. I can't understand how someone to say that they hate children. Gay or straight. It's not thing to say that I can't relate due to limited exposure. I made it very clear that I want children not a child but children.
Hidden member	Mar 10, 2009 8:35 PM GMT I cant wait to have kids.. I look forward to starting a family w the love of my life.. PS.. Still looking for the love of my life
Hidden member	Mar 10, 2009 8:43 PM GMT I am a pure homosexual. I have worked with young children in the past and loved it, and have fond memories of interaction with young children. As I am a qualified youth and child worker. But being a pure homosexual, the fact is, we are not breeders. Bi men are, as they are willing to do what I am not. But as a pure homosexual, we just don't breed, no matter how hard we try. Also being middle aged and the fact I do get on well with children. I'm weary, in case some-one interprets that as homosexual = pedophile.
LGWC Posts: 246	Mar 10, 2009 8:48 PM GMT I am 19 that decision can wait.
zsocerstar Posts: 209	Mar 10, 2009 8:56 PM GMT As i've said on past threads.. I do want kids yes (3 boys, have them named and all), but lately i've been second guessing my 'plans' so who knows.. Depends on a lot of things. But i'd say about half of my gay friends want kids, and the other half could careless/have yet to think about it/or are opposed to the idea.
Hidden member	Mar 10, 2009 9:01 PM GMT Lostboy said EricPrado said But I mean, I would want a kid someday you know? isn't that how it's supposed to go? All my gay friends don't want kids. It's just hard to understand because everyone wants gay marriage to be legalized but then when the topic of kids comes along they just back away. I thought the whole point of getting married was to start a family? What's your view on all of this, do you have kids of your own? Maybe you think kids are a bad idea? I have my day off today and I'm bored Well it´s supposed to go that we get married to a pretty little lady and have kids, live in a house with a white picket fence and coach football and baseball with the boys, while our wife and daughters make cookies and do kneedlepoint. Then weekends we walk the dogs and tailgate before the game. On sunday go to church (it´s good for business and the wife likes the kids to grow up that way) and go out for lunch and eat southern BBQ. The idea behind gay marriage is not to pretend that we´re part of the hetro stereotype, but to get equal recognition in law. That may mean that people want to adopt, be parents etc, but may not. I don´t want kids, but I do want the possibility to visit a significant other if he´s in a car accident and have our relationship on the same footing as the guy with the white picket fence. Equality, not "copy". ...and this is why I love lostboy. Oh and about the whole "gay commitment thing". The divorce rate is what, 50% in the US? That would lead me to believe that the heteros aren't loving commitment either.
dancedd Posts: 224	Mar 10, 2009 9:14 PM GMT I think you really have to get your shit together before thinking of having kids. That goes for straight, bi and gay people. Like others mentioned earlier. Its already hard enough being gay in this world, but to add kids on top of that is alot of responsibility. So have your shit together!!
Hidden member	Mar 10, 2009 9:20 PM GMT EricPrado saidIs it just me or do gay guys seem to really despise little kids? Wherever I go it looks like children and gay men just don't mix. I probably wouldn't want any kids anytime soon...heck, not even in ten years. But I mean, I would want a kid someday you know? isn't that how it's supposed to go? Today for example, I babysat my nephew for a few hrs and my friend who was with me, did nothing but complain the whole time. Kids are too much hard work, annoying, they get sick all the time...blah blah blah. It's not just him though. All my gay friends don't want kids. Maybe it's because they're still young? (we're all in our 20's) It's just hard to understand because everyone wants gay marriage to be legalized but then when the topic of kids comes along they just back away. I thought the whole point of getting married was to start a family? What's your view on all of this, do you have kids of your own? Maybe you think kids are a bad idea? I have my day off today and I'm bored I would love to have kids if the situ presented itself. Would have to find the right man first for this though
Hidden member	Mar 10, 2009 9:29 PM GMT nv7_ said Lostboy said Well it´s supposed to go that we get married to a pretty little lady and have kids, live in a house with a white picket fence and coach football and baseball with the boys, while our wife and daughters make cookies and do kneedlepoint. Then weekends we walk the dogs and tailgate before the game. On sunday go to church (it´s good for business and the wife likes the kids to grow up that way) and go out for lunch and eat southern BBQ. The idea behind gay marriage is not to pretend that we´re part of the hetro stereotype, but to get equal recognition in law. That may mean that people want to adopt, be parents etc, but may not. I don´t want kids, but I do want the possibility to visit a significant other if he´s in a car accident and have our relationship on the same footing as the guy with the white picket fence. Equality, not "copy". ...and this is why I love lostboy. Oh and about the whole "gay commitment thing". The divorce rate is what, 50% in the US? That would lead me to believe that the heteros aren't loving commitment either. AMEN to that nv! I'd love to have kids after finding a male or female to settle down with. I know it's out in the future yet, but I know I will adopt, because there are too many kids being shoved around the foster home system. Thinking 3 would be awesome; at least one girl, but that's up to the future. But on the question of being young. I think it's really a matter of your attitude. Some guys can't stand the idea of someone sucking their bank accounts dry or needing attention every five minutes. (And that is not to say they are any degree of worse than those who want kids). Others would love to provide but can't due to college, job moves or other circumstances. But those are only two large generalizations; there is a plethora of other thoughts on kids in the gay male world.
patna7 Posts: 23	Mar 10, 2009 9:32 PM GMT i have wanted to be married with kids for my whole life. while yes sometimes other peoples kids sick (throw poop, kick things, etc) most of the time little people are AWESOME- plus they always think im cool. which is a flawed belief only those little adorable guys could have (awwww).
jgymnast733 Posts: 797	Mar 10, 2009 9:34 PM GMT I love children!!!!! Of course i'd like to have my own one day but then again adoption is also an option... I watch my nieces and nefews alot and take them to b'way plays,, radio city music hall,,ice skating,,shopping,,ect.. I had a wonderful childhood and love to show children just how wonderful life can be..
AdriantheRN Posts: 663	Mar 10, 2009 9:39 PM GMT it all depends on the person/persons involved really. i personally don't want to have children of my own (i would be a horrendous parent, i don't like hangin with the little buggers, thus the horrendous parent statement), but i greatly admire those of you guys who have kids, or are planning to raise them in the future! it does warm my heart when the wonderful people that i know say that want to raise kids, cuz they'll have great parents and have a great upbringing.
mickeytopogig... Posts: 2614	Mar 10, 2009 9:45 PM GMT Sooooo many gays want kids, and good for them. I find couples who adopt orphans particularly heroic. But I feel as though there are enough kids on the planet; resources should be spent on the ones who are already here. Me? I love my siblings' kids.
Hidden member	Mar 10, 2009 9:51 PM GMT mickeytopogigio saidSooooo many gays want kids, and good for them. I find couples who adopt orphans particularly heroic. But I feel as though there are enough kids on the planet; resources should be spent on the ones who are already here. Me? I love my siblings' kids. Well said.
Hidden member	Mar 10, 2009 10:09 PM GMT mickeytopogigio saidSooooo many gays want kids, and good for them. I find couples who adopt orphans particularly heroic. But I feel as though there are enough kids on the planet; resources should be spent on the ones who are already here. Me? I love my siblings' kids. True that.
Hidden member	Mar 10, 2009 10:10 PM GMT mickeytopogigio saidSooooo many gays want kids, and good for them. I find couples who adopt orphans particularly heroic. But I feel as though there are enough kids on the planet; resources should be spent on the ones who are already here. Me? I love my siblings' kids. BRAVO!
DuluthMN Posts: 141	Mar 10, 2009 10:10 PM GMT I don't think that gay guys despise kids more than anyone else. I think that recently it's been discovered just how unrealistic it is for us to actually have them. For one thing, we've been known as adults who have 'made it', have money, and like to flaunt that - with kids, that all changes. Now you are as generic and coupon-clipping as the straight people with kids that you like to mock. That's a big life change right there. If you plan to adopt, you definitely need to check out the changes that have been made to most countries adoption guidelines as of 1.1.09. No matter how much money you have, a single man (even worse if you are gay) will never be given a baby to adopt in countries such as Guatemala where those babies, 5 years ago, were practically given away. Most of these countries that we previously were able to adopt out of now require a heterosexual married couple who can verify they've been married at least ten years, with financial stability, with medical and mental health records on both people to be checked over, before any adoption is finalized. The rules have become much tighter in countries where many of these babies will just sit in orphanages because of the conservative comeback of their governments. We can pretty much forget foreign adoptions for a while. Surrogacy is great if you have the money. Last time I checked the one surrogacy center that specifically catered to gay men started their fees at $75,000+. I have no idea if you are guaranteed anything, or if you are given 100% sole custody. If this is an option, I'd make damn sure that I had a lawyer experienced in this check out every word in the documentation so that the female carrying your child doesn't suddenly find Jesus and want this kid back from the queer who is raising it. The last part is one we have no control over. The majority - not all - but a good portion - of the gay male community has no stability when it comes to relationships regarding a healthy environment for a child. Some decisions have to be made that might be difficult to accept; if you seriously are going to start out alone raising a child, then you can no longer continue having relationships that last six weeks or six months for that child to witness - you have to be really careful who you bring into this kids life because it's not just you anymore. I'd say that most guys would have to stay out of relationships in order to raise a healthy child. Otherwise you will have to wait for the right person who can prove he can stick around for 5 years or longer first before discussing something this important. And for many of us, finding someone period seems impossible - 5 years seems off the charts. So yea, I think that gay men raising children is a possibility but at the same time a painful reminder just how much of a long shot it will be in reality.
EricPrado Posts: 161	Mar 10, 2009 10:12 PM GMT Okay. All of you guys want kids.
Hidden member	Mar 10, 2009 10:15 PM GMT When I was a little boy if I thought that my Mom and Dad didn't want me or hated me, because I was a pain or that my Dad didn't want my Mom what would of happen to me. Our you all really saying Gay men feel like that or even think like that . Then we do have some problems .Kids are put on this earth for all of us to love and hold dear even if he or she is not yours . When we look at it that way then that child will know what love is really all about and just maybe you will too. I have two son's and I thank God for them and yes they are a pain but I call it a pain of joy.
Hidden member	Mar 10, 2009 10:25 PM GMT Why don't some gay men want kids? SACRIFICE Here's a few things I've given up in order to raise my son.... 1. Countless hours helping him with homework when I could be out with friends 2. Seven years of sitting in the rain/snow/dark to attend and support him at his football, basketball, baseball games when I could have been out partying 3. Getting colds/flu because he passed it on to me...not to mention being thrown up on so many times 4. Not being able to leave the house because he needed the car to go to practice 5. Never owning a pair of jeans that cost more than $40 at Old Navy 6. Not taking a vacation in 4 years 7. A Mercedes in lieu of his college tuition 8. My PhD because I can't afford two of us in school at the same time 9. Some of my sanity during his teenage years 10. The rest of my sanity worrying about him going to Afghanistan in a few months I could go on and on. But with all that said, I want two more. Why? Because hearing the words "I love you dad" makes it all worth it. Those of you who have kids...you know what I'm talking about.
Hidden member	Mar 10, 2009 10:27 PM GMT mickeytopogigio saidSooooo many gays want kids, and good for them. I find couples who adopt orphans particularly heroic. But I feel as though there are enough kids on the planet; resources should be spent on the ones who are already here. Me? I love my siblings' kids. I'm fine with my nephew and niece. Besides I'd probably be one of those parents that would start boycotting my kids school and causing trouble all the time when the school would do something stupid.
Hidden member	Mar 10, 2009 10:56 PM GMT LOSTBOY nailed it on the head with, " Equality not Copy". We should be entitled to raise children and I love them. Everything is always so brand new to a child and it fascinates me to see one mature. However, the more important question is whether people ( gay or straight), are actually capable of raising a child? Very few are capable but many want one because that is what is expected from society. Children are permanent not fashionable. Similarly, people think I'm psychologically disturbed because I have made a conscious choice to be single. "You need to be in a relationship", becomes annoying. Not everyone is relationship material either.
zakariahzol Posts: 1963	Mar 10, 2009 11:03 PM GMT I am not sure. I love kids. But I dont think I have the time , commitment or the resources to do it. I am enjoying my life as a single gay men. If I am bringing someone to this world I want him to have the best and currently I dont think I can delivered that. BTW my own biological kids will be nice.
Hidden member	Mar 10, 2009 11:17 PM GMT and to state the bleeding obvious: if I am in a same sex relationship then I am not going to produce kids as a result of sex in that relationship. I´d not write off the possibility of a relationship with a guy who already had kids for some reason (formerly married, they were left on his doorstep by a giant stork or the pixies didn´t want to keep the baby they stole from the village), but I am not going to produce children as part of my sexual relationship with him. If i had a relationship with a woman then one of the likely results of that sex would be children. Yup, obvious, but it means that children are not a natural outgrowth of the same sex relationship....The hetero pattern is not normative. I could be mischievous and turn the selfishness arguments around, but I don´t really like playing devil´s advocate just for the sake of it.
EricLA Posts: 2306	Mar 11, 2009 12:12 AM GMT I haven't decided if I want kids of my own. If I happen to date a guy with kids, I think I'd be fine with that. And I could see maybe adopting kids. I don't think I could deal with infants. They're cute, but I just don't think I have the patience for raising a baby. I have a good friend with kids from infant to 7 years old, and I'm very much glad to be part of their lives. It has been fun watching his three year old grow from a baby to a precocious little kid. I love being his "Unkah Ewik," and having him ask me to read him bedtime stories. It is priceless. But, when the kids are loud and crazy and ill-behaved, it's also nice to be able to go home and not have that as a responsibility.
CincyBOJ Posts: 132	Mar 11, 2009 12:41 AM GMT jp930 said 5. Never owning a pair of jeans that cost more than $40 at Old Navy OMG! I just broke the bank getting $20 jeans at Target the other day. 6. Not taking a vacation in 4 years Vacation.....hmmm, is that the thing where you go somewhere out of town that isn't just to another family member's house? Because hearing the words "I love you dad" makes it all worth it. Those of you who have kids...you know what I'm talking about. Yip. <--------3 kids, 15.5, 14,11
Hidden member	Mar 11, 2009 12:47 AM GMT This is quite a generalization! I somewhat recently had gone on a number of dates with men that wanted kids. The stereotypical "selfish gay" certainly doesn't want responsibility. This is a generational issue, and a rights issue. Once the generation after Gay marriage is legalized comes to age, this pattern will alter greatly. Once we aren't raised to believe there is something wrong with us, that we will never have normal lives, and the government confirms this with bigoted policies we will see a change in this attitude. Yes, I want kids (definitely 1, maybe 2). I want to adopt - no need to bring anymore children into this world when there are still so many that need a loving home. And I want to adopt older (3 or up). Babies are annoying and too much work. I can stand them for a couple hours, but that's it for me. The majority of children needing to be adopted are post-infancy and I'm happy to provide one or two with a loving home when that time comes.
gjoseph Posts: 166	Mar 11, 2009 1:23 AM GMT I want kids max two preferably girls =)
MSUBioNerd Posts: 1430	Mar 11, 2009 1:24 AM GMT Oh, I certainly want kids. I'm not ready for them yet, but 7 years or so from now, I'm looking at the white picket fence and the home in the suburbs. Now, to find that husband first...
Hidden member	Mar 11, 2009 1:45 AM GMT I am definitely not ready for them yet, but I find myself looking at kids more often and thinking "God I can't wait to have children." Certainly not the time, but I am super excited to be a father. Now when I see kids I literally just cannot help but smile -- it's making me seriously consider pediatrics when I get to med school. Plus I REALLY MISS the kids I used to teach tennis lessons to back home. I hope I can see them all soon. I might just kidnap one of them haha. jokes. i swear
NaSCN1 Posts: 22	Mar 11, 2009 1:46 AM GMT I want kids....I'm Italian. My mother would KILL me if I didn't have children. No really, she would kill me. My purpose in life to her is to make her little Italian Grand-babies.
Guy101 Posts: 1703	Mar 11, 2009 1:49 AM GMT I would love to have kids. They are so fun to watch and you really do feel rewarded by knowing that you can have a direct impact on a child's life. I babysit a lot for friends and the kids treat me like part of the family. I'm like an elder brother/authority figure to them and I love the feeling. It's the little things like baby's first words, step, pulled tooth, little league championship all the way up to graduation that make being something special I think. Having said this I think this topic could spark another thread. Something like "Would you date a guy who has kids?"
RPMSoccer Posts: 475	Mar 11, 2009 2:01 AM GMT Guy101- good point. re new thread idea. I've wanted kids (1-4), but I'm single, and I'd much prefer to do it with someone else. I used to feel like I had to have kids, in fact. Now, I feel that if I meet the right guy and we both are in a place to raise children, then let's do it! (Well, there's always that possibility that the other guy already has one or two - or more).
Tyinstl Posts: 225	Mar 11, 2009 2:09 AM GMT McGay saidIs it just me or do gay men assume too much about other gay men? yup
Hidden member	Mar 11, 2009 2:39 AM GMT "I thought the whole point of getting married was to start a family" uhhh are we listening to and believing what James Dobson and Tony Perkins are saying, EricPrado? And I thought the point of marriage equality... or marriage in general... was to show a level of commitment between two consenting adult parties... who sign a legal-binding contract in order to also recieve 1100+ marital rights for future protection and benefits. I thought marriage had nothing to do with religion and their dogmatic view that marriage is only around to support the incoming generation--" fanged imps cloaked in flesh coats, sent from Hell to put misery and displeasure upon the human race" (courtsey of lugubrious lol). Personally... I do not relat well with younger kids. I'd have a hard time dealing with kids from <1-12ish years old. After that I would mind having a relationship with a kid. However... kids take a lot of time and commitment... especically nowadays if you want the to turn out "well." I'n not sure if my purpose in life is to raise children. Anyways... I already have a baby boy. So what if he walks on all fours, is covered with hair, and licks my face every morning in order to wake me up!
Hidden member	Mar 11, 2009 3:04 AM GMT Straight people do lots of things I like already, like owning a house, having a good job, a loving family, and straight folk (some of them) are getting into situations where children happen that are put up for adoption. Kudos to you guys that took on kids (and that includes you guys that had kids and then came out, brave souls). I know a few and know of a few more. Huge admiration and respect -Doug PS we likes kidz, thayz smarder den us.
charlitos Posts: 2665	Mar 11, 2009 3:08 AM GMT I do...no right now, but eventually I would like to.
Hidden member	Mar 11, 2009 5:16 AM GMT More than you will ever know...
ROYCE13 Posts: 276	Mar 11, 2009 5:32 AM GMT It is not unusual for the average 20 year old to not relate to children , but there seems to be quite a bit of gay men with children, most were married and had children and then came out, that practice is still going on. Plus a lot of single guys are raising their child from a girlfriend who is not fit or interested in raising them, smaller percentage, and then I think a lot of gay men want children. I have raised or had a hand in raising many siblings and family, but I want my own child, I really think that we are wired to have a child, you learn and grow and are a different person as you parent a child, i think as a child needs a parent or parents, adults need to raise children, and yes I know that there are exceptions, not all should raise children.
ttylerr Posts: 21	Mar 11, 2009 5:40 AM GMT My job is nothing but kids and I love it and hope to have some one day... not any day soon but one day.
Hidden member	Mar 11, 2009 5:42 AM GMT kidsssss???? eww NOOO!
Hidden member	Mar 11, 2009 5:43 AM GMT I have always liked kids and get along with them well .. it helped being around so many nieces and nephews. I guess there are some guys that don't care for kids, but I think you can learn a lot from them as they tend to be a little frank and see things simplistically.
caesarea4 Posts: 2083	Mar 11, 2009 5:56 AM GMT Hope to have a kid or two down the line... though I worry about the expense and the timing (too busy with work and time is not going by any slower).
Hidden member	Mar 11, 2009 6:01 AM GMT In my opinion i think gay guys that don't want kids are selfish.... Honestly, I think kids are wonderful. I have no problem with them. Someday I will be a daddy!
Hidden member	Mar 11, 2009 6:08 AM GMT I definitely want to start a family someday...
syd_dude Posts: 26	Mar 11, 2009 6:10 AM GMT samerphx saidIn my opinion i think gay guys that don't want kids are selfish.... Honestly, I think kids are wonderful. I have no problem with them. Someday I will be a daddy! In my opinion people (gay or straight) that want kids are the selfish ones... having kids is a total ego trip. People get to a stage in their lives where they find it too much work to keep learning and developing themselves, so they throw in the towel and have kids - its an easy distraction and gives them a sense of purpose, as bullshit as it might be. Then they all try and convince each other that the waters great, so jump in. Like the planet needs more mouths to feed. That's my 10 cents. Fuck the little sticky fingered, coughing up crap, screaming imps. Here's an interesting read on kids and happiness: http://www.newsweek.com/id/143792
Hidden member	Mar 11, 2009 6:22 AM GMT syd_dude said samerphx saidIn my opinion i think gay guys that don't want kids are selfish.... Honestly, I think kids are wonderful. I have no problem with them. Someday I will be a daddy! In my opinion people (gay or straight) that want kids are the selfish ones... having kids is a total ego trip. People get to a stage in their lives where they find it too much work to keep learning and developing themselves, so they throw in the towel and have kids - its an easy distraction and gives them a sense of purpose, as bullshit as it might be. Then they all try and convince each other that the waters great, so jump in. Like the planet needs more mouths to feed. That's my 10 cents. Fuck the little sticky fingered, coughing up crap, screaming imps. Here's an interesting read on kids and happiness: http://www.newsweek.com/id/143792 How would you know if gay or straight that want kids are selfish? I have talk to many straight and gay friends that have kids and they love them! They feel lucky and feel like they are in paradise. lol Even the article that you posted doesn't mean all kids make people unhappy or make people miserable. Giving them foods, homes and teach them good manners and all this being a good parent. Plus, kids will always help bring your childhood memories back. That's what I like the best.
Hidden member	Mar 11, 2009 6:32 AM GMT i want at least 1
Crucializer Posts: 43	Mar 11, 2009 6:48 AM GMT I have kids of my own. I worry that it's gonna be impossible to find a guy to come along side me and want to be in their lives - and will treat them as his own. Its a lot to ask someone to do - because its not just me. Its a bit of a package deal.
dancedd Posts: 224	Mar 11, 2009 6:50 AM GMT samerphx said syd_dude said samerphx saidIn my opinion i think gay guys that don't want kids are selfish.... Honestly, I think kids are wonderful. I have no problem with them. Someday I will be a daddy! In my opinion people (gay or straight) that want kids are the selfish ones... having kids is a total ego trip. People get to a stage in their lives where they find it too much work to keep learning and developing themselves, so they throw in the towel and have kids - its an easy distraction and gives them a sense of purpose, as bullshit as it might be. Then they all try and convince each other that the waters great, so jump in. Like the planet needs more mouths to feed. That's my 10 cents. Fuck the little sticky fingered, coughing up crap, screaming imps. Here's an interesting read on kids and happiness: http://www.newsweek.com/id/143792 How would you know if gay or straight that want kids are selfish? I have talk to many straight and gay friends that have kids and they love them! They feel lucky and feel like they are in paradise. lol Even the article that you posted doesn't mean all kids make people unhappy or make people miserable. Giving them foods, homes and teach them good manners and all this being a good parent. Plus, kids will always help bring your childhood memories back. That's what I like the best. How would you know if gay guys that don't want kids are selfish? just because you talked to many straight and gay friends. Doesn't mean its a fact. If people don't want to have kids. then great, its their choice. It doesn't make them selfish. If people want to have kids then thats great too. It doesn't make them better or less selfish than people that don't want kids.
Hidden member	Mar 11, 2009 6:55 AM GMT McGay saidIs it just me or do gay men assume too much about other gay men? The more this post goes on, the more I agree with this statement.
Hidden member	Mar 11, 2009 7:43 AM GMT nv7_ said McGay saidIs it just me or do gay men assume too much about other gay men? The more this post goes on, the more I agree with this statement. I second that. Kids aren't for everyone, nor should they be. I think I would be very content with being a great uncle.
Hidden member	Mar 11, 2009 9:00 AM GMT I think in about 10 years I'll be ready for kids. I want a couple of 'em myself, but definitely not at this point in my life.
Hidden member	Mar 11, 2009 9:03 AM GMT QUOTEIn my opinion people (gay or straight) that want kids are the selfish ones... having kids is a total ego trip. People get to a stage in their lives where they find it too much work to keep learning and developing themselves, so they throw in the towel and have kids - its an easy distraction and gives them a sense of purpose, as bullshit as it might be. Then they all try and convince each other that the waters great, so jump in. Like the planet needs more mouths to feed. That's my 10 cents. Fuck the little sticky fingered, coughing up crap, screaming imps. This is a pretty stupid post in imo. There's plenty of people who keep improving themselves even after they have kids. Plenty of scientists who keep learning, plenty of athletes who keep playing, etc.
Hidden member	Mar 11, 2009 9:32 AM GMT I'm shocked to read some of you generalizing so much about gay men. One guy says most gay men are afraid of work and commitment in relationships and life in general, while another says some can't sacrifice? Get over yourselves. Unless you are all sociologists, or wise beyond your years, which, I can assure you, you aren't, leave those type of generalized statements at the door. They only help to illustrate your ignorance. I know plenty of gays and lesbians - even a transgender - with kids. Some regret it, most don't. Some had kids back when they were "straight," and openly admit to regretting not wearing a condom, while others state they "live with it," or want to have more. Some men and women simply choose not to have kids. Your sexual orientation has nothing to do with it. EricPrado - you and your friends are in your 20's. I felt the same way in my 20's, as did most of my gay friends. Approach the subject with yourself and your friends when you're all in your mid-30's. I think you'll be surprised by how many of you feel differently by then.
Hidden member	Mar 11, 2009 9:39 AM GMT I've kinda given up on the thought of becoming a parent. as it looks now, I think there's no chance I'll ever be, cos the only way I'd do it would be by adoption (no breeding here eww!...or giving sperm to faghags or lesbians. that would just be reproducing, not parenting the way I'd want to) laws might get passed here (Denmark) in a near future, to give gay couples the right to adopt, but in practise it's pretty obvious that gay couples will be put last in line (so in reality there'll never be enough kids). Also, most of the countries that gives up a lot of children for adoption to western countries, threaten to blaclist countries that allow homosexuals to adopt... My guess is, progress will come eventually, I'll just consider myself too old for parenthood by that time.
Hidden member	Mar 11, 2009 9:51 AM GMT Tapper saidI'm shocked to read some of you generalizing so much about gay men. One guy says most gay men are afraid of work and commitment in relationships and life in general, while another says some can't sacrifice? Get over yourselves. Unless you are all sociologists, or wise beyond your years, which, I can assure you, you aren't, leave those type of generalized statements at the door. They only help to illustrate your ignorance. I know plenty of gays and lesbians - even a transgender - with kids. Some regret it, most don't. Some had kids back when they were "straight," and openly admit to regretting not wearing a condom, while others state they "live with it," or want to have more. Some men and women simply choose not to have kids. Your sexual orientation has nothing to do with it. EricPrado - you and your friends are in your 20's. I felt the same way in my 20's, as did most of my gay friends. Approach the subject with yourself and your friends when you're all in your mid-30's. I think you'll be surprised by how many of you feel differently by then. Well said, although I can't say I'm shocked about the generalizations. I'm thinking some of these guys love to throw generalizations out there, but probably don't like it when generalizations about them are thrown back. I'm just sayin...
Forsaken Posts: 19	Mar 11, 2009 10:54 AM GMT I like kids and would love to have one. I just dont like it when they poop and are sick!
Latenight30 Posts: 340	Mar 11, 2009 11:58 AM GMT 1. Marriage and Kids are totally separate. Look at that nut job OctoMom! Nuff said 2. I have a few gay couples who are parents and the fact they have to adopt or really choose to go the lesbian route its more of a choice not some screwed up accident. So I think Gays make great parents. 3. I think both me and my partner would make good parents because we came from good familys but neither one of us like children. That and we like different peanutbutters and it's the first things we agreed on.
jprichva Posts: 4654	Mar 11, 2009 12:18 PM GMT Latenight30 said3. I think both me and my partner would make good parents because we came from good familys but neither one of us like children. Then you wouldn't make good parents.
Hidden member	Mar 11, 2009 12:29 PM GMT Most gay guys don't hate kids...they love kids. Espesially 8 year old boys
Hidden member	Mar 11, 2009 12:36 PM GMT Cowboiway saidMost gay men are afraid of work and commitment in relationships and life in general. So it would only make sense that commitment to a kid and the work with one would not be wanted. I want kids, love them. What a horrible stereotype. I have no comments. Just want to say thanks for continuing to feed that stereotype. I personally can't wait to have kids. Looking at my friend group we are mostly 50/50 on the subject, half of us want kids the other half is good without them. I want kids by the time I'm 30! My nephew needs someone to play with and my parents need another baby to terrorize their house! I can just see my mother having an anxiety attack!!!
Hidden member	Mar 11, 2009 1:07 PM GMT Hmmm...many interesting thoughts on this subject. Personally I would love to be a parent. I have several nephews and neices that I have babysat for for long periods of time, 3-6 weeks from infancy to 16 yrs, whilst their parents traveled abroad. Adoption would be the route I would take. (Procreating like a "breeder" doesn't appeal to me.) As much biologically I would love to have a child created by me, there are too many kids out there already that need homes. It's like a dog....you morally/ethically have to adopt one, instead of buying one. Plus there are way too many humans on this planet already! Our Mother Earth can barely sustain the human refuse we have already created! Cheers, Keith
Hidden member	Mar 11, 2009 1:27 PM GMT mickeytopogigio saidSooooo many gays want kids, and good for them. I find couples who adopt orphans particularly heroic. But I feel as though there are enough kids on the planet; resources should be spent on the ones who are already here. Me? I love my siblings' kids. I can't believe I found something written by you that I agree with 100%. But I' be afraid you'd teach them to be ego maniacs with no compassion for people of different belief systems than yours. Sorry, I just couldn't resist. I'm loving myself more for being so playful this morning.
andymatic Posts: 170	Mar 11, 2009 1:33 PM GMT I despise little kids that act like demon diva fucktards. I despise gay men that act like demon diva fucktards. They despise each other because they all want to be the center of attention.
Hidden member	Mar 11, 2009 1:45 PM GMT Yes. A girl preferably. If that's impossible somehow, I've got a niece I love so much. And another and a nephew besides.
Hidden member	Mar 11, 2009 2:03 PM GMT As gay Uncles, we get to hear all the stuff the kids don't want Mom and Dad to know....yet!
mrt88 Posts: 5	Mar 11, 2009 2:06 PM GMT Children just are not for everyone gay, straight or otherwise. A great many of my straight friends (both guys and girls) would rather eat barbed wire then look after children. That is their opinion on that matter and one must respect that. I on the other hand love kids, and would like to have 3 or 4, once I am a little older and married to someone special of course.
zakariahzol Posts: 1963	Mar 11, 2009 2:38 PM GMT For you guys who have a chance please see the Swedish movie "Partrick 1,5". The topic is gay adoption and two gay men there are so romantic and loving. I not going to spoil your interest by telling you what happen.You have to see it yourself an get prepare to get emotionally touch.
Ducky46 Posts: 2604	Mar 11, 2009 2:49 PM GMT Doug, You are soooo correct we are the keeper of some secrets. I have always had a standing rule with my nieces and nephews. Which is you can come to me and tell me anything. If I think it's something that you need to tell your parents, you will have 24 hours to tell them and if you do not then I will tell them. I there was only one time that I had to enforce that rule. I'm still very close to this niece now that she is an adult.
Hidden member	Mar 11, 2009 2:58 PM GMT mrt88 saidChildren just are not for everyone gay, straight or otherwise. A great many of my straight friends (both guys and girls) would rather eat barbed wire then look after children. That is their opinion on that matter and one must respect that. I on the other hand love kids, and would like to have 3 or 4, once I am a little older and married to someone special of course. Depends on the kid for me. I hate a certain kind of kid - the stupid, mean brat kind. Whenever I see one of those, with the blankly staring eyes and the mean scowl lurking somewhere nearby, I get the urge to steal his icecream/donut/popsicle/lollipop/candy/whatever he's stuffing himself with. I usually blame the parents. They're usually spoiling him to death to compensate for whatever emotional support they're lacking. A precocious and affectionate child though... is one of the rare things that will always make me smile, no matter how bad a day I had. P.S. I still have to see Patrick 1.5 I also suggest the Spanish movie 'Bearcub' (which was really good) and 'Breakfast with Scot' (not that good, but still good nonetheless).
Hidden member	Mar 11, 2009 3:30 PM GMT Um, new dad here, so my position is pretty obvious. I've always liked kids, but really didn't start thinking about it seriously until I was 28 or 29 or so. I have been fortunate to have had a peer group with men and women who've taken all the different routes to parenthood: fostering, adoption, surrogacy, and kids from previous relationships. So I had years to look around and think about it before taking the plunge. It's been interesting to see the reaction of friends: some think we're crazy to tie ourselves down, others ask us about all the details in preparation for maybe doing it themselves. It's all about the individual; some people want it, some people don't. (And either answer is OK!) My partner and I tiptoed up to the subject on our second or third date, when it was clear that we were pretty seriously interested in each other, and wanted to find out answers to questions about attitudes, future plans, etc. It was a bit nerve-wracking, but it boiled down to: "Do you think you might be interested in maybe having kids someday?" "Yes, I've thought about it. Do you?" "Yes, someday." "Ah, cool." Then we tabled it for 5 years or so as we focused on careers, finishing school, getting settled. Family and friends have been incredibly supportive (including here on RJ: thanks guys), even the ones who would never be interested in doing it themselves. So here we are; if I'm online late, it's because I'm finishing a diaper change or a feeding, and waiting to go back to sleep. Tired, but happy...
Hidden member	Mar 12, 2009 3:43 AM GMT I personally don't feel that a lot of people are equipped to be parents. Just because you want children and are biologically capable of producing doesn't give you passage. Rearing a being from infancy to adulthood is probably the most abstrusely complex process anyone will ever undertake. I think the more that people get in touch with the energies and the vastness of responsibilities that tie families together the less people would choose to have large families. They may choose to have one, maybe two children, or none at all. I've matriculated in some coursework that deals with energy and meditation. It's really amazing how we learn to see subconscious energy from others that can have unwanted effects in our own lives. It's not about blame, however. It's about awareness. Once you learn and become away you become more empowered and can move more fluidly with your life. Now imagine if from day one we, as parents, can learn to control these energies so that they do not hinder our children in undesirable ways. We're a huge planet, so this would never happen on a global level. But just think if you as a parent could empower your young to be all that they are supposed to be in this life and not what you want them to be. I believe that nurturing a child's uniqueness is paramount to helping that child's ability to know and accept him/herself. And what a powerful message that would be from day one, don't you think? This would not only harness acceptance within families but among people within a community also. Emulating learned behaviors within a family structure that would most likely serve us all better. For me, I would NOT dare raise a child. If I had the financial means at this point in my life I would adopt. But it would be a daily awareness I would have in my mind to keep in touch with all that I just expressed in the above paragraph. And I can honestly say to myself that I am not sure I can do that. Aside from teaching a child how to function in society there is a fine line, a fine art if you will, as far as knowing what's intrinsically "right" for our child and what we "think" is right for that child.
Hidden member	Mar 12, 2009 4:03 AM GMT My partner and I have a son who is turning 6 months old this weekend. We absolutely adore him, and appear to be the envy of our friends, gay and straight. So, no, I don't think gay guys despise kids, and at least in my experience, many of them in fact want kids.
jaded57 Posts: 66	Mar 12, 2009 4:13 AM GMT I make a great uncle but am in no way ready or willing to be a parent. However should I get pregnant I guess Id keep it.
syd_dude Posts: 26	Mar 12, 2009 8:16 AM GMT samerphx said syd_dude said samerphx saidIn my opinion i think gay guys that don't want kids are selfish.... Honestly, I think kids are wonderful. I have no problem with them. Someday I will be a daddy! 92 How would you know if gay or straight that want kids are selfish? I have talk to many straight and gay friends that have kids and they love them! They feel lucky and feel like they are in paradise. lol Even the article that you posted doesn't mean all kids make people unhappy or make people miserable. Giving them foods, homes and teach them good manners and all this being a good parent. Plus, kids will always help bring your childhood memories back. That's what I like the best. Because the earth is fucked mate! Anyone that has kids is on an ego trip hands down and totally oblivious to whats happening to the planet. Ever since we moved from subsistence living to agricultural based living the population has exploded beyond what the resources of the planet can handle... People that have kids better be teaching them to be fighters, cause its gonna be a shit-storm when they get older... I'll be long gone, but the effects of our V8 SUV's and consumer culture (not to mention our raping of the planets food and natural resources) will ensure they have a battle royale just to sustain basic living...
imperator Posts: 473	Mar 12, 2009 8:28 AM GMT EricPrado saidIs it just me or do gay guys seem to really despise little kids? Wherever I go it looks like children and gay men just don't mix. I probably wouldn't want any kids anytime soon...heck, not even in ten years. But I mean, I would want a kid someday you know? isn't that how it's supposed to go? [...] I'd like to raise kids someday... with the proviso that the first time they talk back I'm allowed to have their vocal cords surgically snipped like they do with dogs, and that I'm assured amnesty if-- when they become teenagers-- I'm forced to drown them in a bucket. I'm not sure I'm what anyone would consider fit parenting material-- the first time they asked, I'd tell them Santa Claus was a lie perpetuated by grown-ups to coerce children into conforming to arbitrary standards, that religion is an obsolete artifact of a more ignorant, primitive era, and that they should scrutinize the intentions and integrity of every authority figure and always think twice before going along with anything that a majority of their peers thinks would be "fun" or a "good idea." So, their first day of school would be like dropping a bomb on the place. But I just envision the alternative as being to tell them lies, spoil them rotten, and crank out just another stupid, disrespectful, vapid herd-animal that would embarrass and dishonour me as a parent. But seriously... little kids can be a riot when they're well-mannered and not whining or begging for junk. I have several fond memories of playing with my younger cousins & nephews. But babies... with the screaming and the shitting and the crying... and teenagers... with the hormones and the schizophrenia and the bizarre choices in style and irritating friends... There would be these two rather conspicuous bookend windows of time in my kid's life where I'd just dread having to have anything to do with them.
kjmalc Posts: 8	Mar 13, 2009 1:06 AM GMT I don't think so, Ricky Martin is Gay and he has kids (twins)
Hidden member	Mar 13, 2009 1:18 AM GMT syd_dude said samerphx said syd_dude said samerphx saidIn my opinion i think gay guys that don't want kids are selfish.... Honestly, I think kids are wonderful. I have no problem with them. Someday I will be a daddy! 92 Because the earth is fucked mate! Anyone that has kids is on an ego trip hands down and totally oblivious to whats happening to the planet. Ever since we moved from subsistence living to agricultural based living the population has exploded beyond what the resources of the planet can handle... People that have kids better be teaching them to be fighters, cause its gonna be a shit-storm when they get older... I'll be long gone, but the effects of our V8 SUV's and consumer culture (not to mention our raping of the planets food and natural resources) will ensure they have a battle royale just to sustain basic living... We've being hearing the earth if fucked for quite a while now. Wonder if you parents had thought this.... Perhaps the next child born will be the next einstein, the next bethoven or stalin... who knows...
gary954 Posts: 8	Mar 13, 2009 1:31 AM GMT BEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPEND TO ME. NEVER THOUGHT YOU COULD EXPERIENCE SO MUCH LOVE.....
Hidden member	Apr 13, 2009 3:11 AM GMT At the moment I have no plans for children. In the future, however, I might adopt one kid. The surrogate mother deal just doesn't work for me. It's too complicated, too expensive. With so many parentless children around, I see no reason to go to such lengths to make one.
badorsey Posts: 7	Apr 13, 2009 3:28 AM GMT I want kids as soon as I'm financially stable and out of college. My Dad was taken from an illness and I've always wanted to adopt a kid who's in need.
InsatiableBlo... Posts: 243	Apr 13, 2009 4:10 AM GMT I want to adopt a little asian girl! Her whole room is going to be hello kitty
wellwell Posts: 364	Apr 13, 2009 4:21 AM GMT 3 seems ideal (that'z 1 for each parent), any gender would suffice
Hidden member	Apr 13, 2009 4:47 AM GMT no, i do not want kids. yes, i tend to despise them. i don't feel obliged to let other people push their grubby little noise machines on me while i'm paying for dinner either. if you intend to inflict your children on me, plan to get my attitude inflicted on you. train your children to be in public or leave their nasty little germ-ridden asses at home. no one thinks they're cute but you. also, adoption is a great option. there are already enough mouths on this planet. what makes your dna so great that we need more of it? ADOPT!
Hidden member	Apr 13, 2009 5:00 AM GMT I like kids... over there Yes, over there.
Hidden member	Apr 13, 2009 5:13 AM GMT I like kids.. I just don't like it when they are within viewing/hearing/smelling distance... yes.. I said smelling
Hidden member	Apr 13, 2009 5:33 AM GMT the joke in college that all the other dancers told about me whenever the ballet teacher would bring her urchins to class (and then allow them to wander amongst all of us as we were trying to balance on one leg) was that i liked children... in my cereal or slathered on toast with jelly. muahahahaha!
jprichva Posts: 4654	Apr 13, 2009 5:34 AM GMT dancerjack saidthe joke in college was that i liked children... in my cereal or slathered on toast with jelly. muahahahaha! I used to tell my own kids when they were growing up; "I just love children----on toast points."
Hidden member	Apr 13, 2009 5:36 AM GMT oh my god!!! on toast points?! you are so gay!! i love you! (on whole pieces of toast)
Hidden member	Apr 13, 2009 6:17 AM GMT I'd have kids, but not alone. I don't think I'm strong enough to be a single dad. However, I'm also allowing myself the opportunity to not make a firm decision about it and see where life takes me.
Hidden member	Apr 13, 2009 6:32 AM GMT Hmmm...I was told by a psychic...hee-hee...that I'd have a daughter when I'm 42...not too long now! Meanwhile, EricPrado, I'm guessing it's both a combination of your age-group and simply with who and where you interact. Just a guess, of course. Also, I think there are quite a few gay men out there who didn't particularly enjoy their own childhood so aren't to keen on the association with childhood and/or children. Then there's the seemingly endless youth/appearance- oriented side of our culture that aims at activities that a kid would hinder. Yeah, I could go on... These things said, I imagine wanting kids someday, but being back in school and targeting a new career doesn't place that in the 'likely' category for some time if ever. I do know quite a few gay couples that have kids, to include my best friends...
Hidden member	Jun 01, 2009 2:09 AM GMT I only despise the ones that are poorly raised and have no manners or respect ... some of the little bastards nowadays belong in cages. Mine will be different
Hidden member	Jun 01, 2009 2:12 AM GMT dancerjack saidno, i do not want kids. yes, i tend to despise them. i don't feel obliged to let other people push their grubby little noise machines on me while i'm paying for dinner either. if you intend to inflict your children on me, plan to get my attitude inflicted on you. train your children to be in public or leave their nasty little germ-ridden asses at home. no one thinks they're cute but you. also, adoption is a great option. there are already enough mouths on this planet. what makes your dna so great that we need more of it? ADOPT! Jack.. let´s elope to Canada and not have children.
Hidden member	Jun 01, 2009 2:12 AM GMT I want kids for sure. Love my niece to death (and will love the ones on the way just the same). How else are we supposed to keep up the gay population? I mean we're going to raise them gay, right? [joke]
hoser09 Posts: 9	Jul 19, 2009 5:40 PM GMT I personally can't understand not wanting to have kids. Kids create a special kind of bond with that can't be duplicated in anyway. When i walk through the park or any public place and see a mom or dad playing with their child I always think I can't wait for that to be me. Yes, it takes a lot of sacrifice to raise a child but it's SO worth it!
BBadeau Posts: 13	Jul 19, 2009 8:42 PM GMT Hey, My partner and I have a son. We also plan on having more, but all of our gay friends are usually put off by our son and dont seem to understand that being a parent comes first. We had a friend over last night and my sons mom dropped him off early. Our friend was like, 'well I am leavin to go to a straight bar.' the lame ass. That was cool just made us realize that we are more settled then most gay's.
emsquare86 Posts: 79	Aug 12, 2009 1:59 AM GMT I love kids and wish to have a few someday. Would love to have them with my future husband than my future wife.
innerathlete Posts: 94	Aug 12, 2009 2:11 AM GMT Kids are only in the cards for me if I'm earning enough money to afford the help I would need to maintain an active adult life.
lenoxx Posts: 785	Aug 12, 2009 2:15 AM GMT I love little kids. I just can't stand the ones that are out of control and the parents let them do anything. I want a child when I'm at least in my 30's and I feel financially stable enough to raise one. I have baby sat a 12 year old before and that was pretty intense(Smartass) but I did a pretty good job at it. speaking of little kids! When I was like 14 I went to this birthday party and when no one was looking.This little boy licked the entire top of the ice cream that was left out. I hate it also when little kids are around when food is out.
Hidden member	Nov 04, 2009 5:04 AM GMT heh ive read all these replies, im new 2 the site but I dont mind saying i would love to have children too! 3 - thats one of each, lol. seriously though i too am a qualified child soc. worker & youth worker & i agree with the guy who wrote about homo/bi/etc not = peado!!! It does disturb me some to hear peeps go on about that,; im bi but ive still not found the right combination of women for children & a guy for..... im an optimistic bugger though so i'll keep looking!:
Hidden member	Nov 04, 2009 5:10 AM GMT I don't think it's limited to gays, I know TONS of straight people who don't like kids! In the gay community you are right once you mention kids they shun away from it unlike when they talk about gay marriage. I for one am young, younger than you. I know that I want kids, obviously right now would be suicide but I want kids of my own to raise when I get older. I think it's not about gay or straight it's just a mentality one begins to have or maybe is born with. I do know a few gay friends that say they don't want to give up their "lifestyles" to raise kids, it is selfish, but they are honest.
cupidshold Posts: 634	Nov 04, 2009 5:13 AM GMT yes i def want kids someday.
jawrhed Posts: 626	Nov 04, 2009 7:28 AM GMT My gay brother like children...............for lunch. I've got two boys - luv 'em - best thing that ever happened to me.
GwgTrunks Posts: 994	Nov 04, 2009 7:34 AM GMT I want A kid (one, no more), but that won't be for some time yet. Not until I'm in a loving relationship with a stable income (hopefully on both sides), with a solid financial plan. In fact it's pretty important that any guy I get serious with eventually wants to raise a kid, and I look for qualities I'd like to have instilled with a child I'd help raise.
Hidden member	Nov 04, 2009 7:44 AM GMT I'd like to have kids someday, 3 of them at least, boys or girls doesn't matter! I think some people just don't want to lose their "me" time, and with kids everything changes. This definitely isn't a "gay guys" only thing, my cousin got married 6 years ago and him and his wife said they are never having kids. Too much generalization imo.
heartrobb Posts: 201	Nov 04, 2009 7:45 AM GMT GwgTrunks saidI want A kid (one, no more), but that won't be for some time yet. Not until I'm in a loving relationship with a stable income (hopefully on both sides), with a solid financial plan. In fact it's pretty important that any guy I get serious with eventually wants to raise a kid, and I look for qualities I'd like to have instilled with a child I'd help raise. I'm currently in a loving relationship with a stable income.
Webster666 Posts: 1230	Nov 04, 2009 7:55 AM GMT " I thought the whole point of getting married was to start a family?" ______________________________________ LOL. That's what most straight women think. Besides, who needs to get married to start a family ? There are tons of kids with unwed parents. Marriage is a commitment to share your life with another person. None of my gay friends have children. I have two friends who got a foster kid. Now, they are anxious to get him adopted (by somebody else) so that they, "can get our lives back."
Webster666 Posts: 1230	Nov 04, 2009 7:58 AM GMT I have 3 straight sisters and 1 gay brother. I have one niece. That's it. Except for her, we sawed off the limb on our family tree. LOL.
Webster666 Posts: 1230	Nov 04, 2009 8:15 AM GMT It would be interesting to know how many kids of straight parents were planned, or were accidents. I'll bet that a LOT of them were accidents.
Laurence Posts: 690	Nov 04, 2009 8:40 AM GMT Lots of Gay men want kids and lots don't. We are all different and should celebrate our diversity. Personally, I come from a large family and am in a relationship but have no desire to have kids. Lozx
Hidden member	Nov 04, 2009 8:47 AM GMT ha... that´s how i came out to my brother. We were walking along the street and this kid was having a screaming tantrum and so i said "that´s probably the best thing about being gay: I´ll never have kids". (I know I could be wrong... and could end up in a relationship with someone who had them... just hope not)
demonicius Posts: 8	Nov 04, 2009 9:15 AM GMT i think have a baby is very important because we can have a descendant
Hidden member	Nov 04, 2009 9:27 AM GMT EricPrado saidIs it just me or do gay guys seem to really despise little kids? Wherever I go it looks like children and gay men just don't mix. I probably wouldn't want any kids anytime soon...heck, not even in ten years. But I mean, I would want a kid someday you know? isn't that how it's supposed to go? It's just hard to understand because everyone wants gay marriage to be legalized but then when the topic of kids comes along they just back away. I thought the whole point of getting married was to start a family? What's your view on all of this, do you have kids of your own? Maybe you think kids are a bad idea? I think having kids develops some tolerance - maybe even a numbing effect - for the sound of children shouting and laughing. In my experience, it's childless adults - straight or gay, coupled or not - who are disturbed by 'chaos'. Having said that, I find that parents can be the most critical of other parents. Being a parent has those additional benefits of witnessing the miracle of the child's rapid development and being seen as a hero in their eyes capable of making sense of the mysteries of the world and solving those insurmountable problems. I've been told that I'm "great with kids", whatever that means, but the truth is I don't find the little ones very interesting. I enjoy talking with them when they're old enough, but I don't enjoy the whole "pretending to be interested when they show me their fifth doll" game.
Blake2g3 Posts: 18	Nov 04, 2009 11:08 AM GMT I want kids, I've always wanted to have a family. I think 3 kids would be nice. My bf is on the fence. So i still have many years before i need to cross that bridge.
center Posts: 132	Nov 04, 2009 12:26 PM GMT I am the one people hunt down specifically to deal with kids. Kids are easy to deal with and can be a blast, as long as you let them be kids and not expect them to act like adults.
Space_Cowboy_... Posts: 267	Nov 04, 2009 12:35 PM GMT I want kids I'd Love my kids I just don't really like other peoples kids
austex120 Posts: 3	Nov 04, 2009 12:54 PM GMT I think it's just you. I definitely want kids.
Hidden member	Nov 04, 2009 1:54 PM GMT I took pictures of myself and my bf and I had them morphed to see what our kid would look like if that were possible... beautiful. I finally realized that we both have a lot of the same facial features and its something we both like about each other.
Hidden member	Nov 04, 2009 2:00 PM GMT Webster666 saidIt would be interesting to know how many kids of straight parents were planned, or were accidents. I'll bet that a LOT of them were accidents. My sister is the eldest (unplanned/accident), brother is in the middle (planned), my mother had her tubes tied after having my brother, then they grew back...flash-forward 2 years: she felt sick, went to the doctor and found out she was pregnant with me, lol.
Hidden member	Nov 04, 2009 2:05 PM GMT Space_Cowboy_89 saidI want kids I'd Love my kids I just don't really like other peoples kids I think that's true of alot of people, they would enjoy having kids but can't stand other peoples kids ( mainly because you can't say anything about the bad child rearing skills of others ) I watch Supernanny or nanny 911 and want to remove the children fro their homes and sterilize the parents.
Hidden member	Nov 04, 2009 2:18 PM GMT hmm it depends on the child.......some of them are rotten..and you just want to leave them by the roadside..but then you have some that are soo adorable and understanding...its half and half and with gay men..they do love the idea of kids...they just have a fear of raising them.

realifedad Posts: 1876	Nov 04, 2009 2:18 PM GMT EricPrado- I've had the impression through the years that gays are against having kids too, but here I see more wanting kids. I'm glad for that !!! I raised my son and daughter on my own for 8 years after divorcing. Its a total long term commitment that I have to say was worth every second of my efforts for them. The returns I've received from committing to love them and put myself aside for their interests have paid me back in so many ways that its unexplainable. How can you put a value on your grown kids calling to say hello I love you, ask for advice, share the good and bad times, invite me to visit them, remind me of good times we had on trips or other good times, and now the grandkids calling to say hello I love you after I've taken care of them for a month straight. I have to say that you younger guys who want children will do your life a favor by having children. There are hard times while raising kids but the overall picture of what it does for your lives is positive.