Best friends...accepting new applications?

  • Teacherguy

    Posts: 150

    Mar 10, 2009 10:57 PM GMT
    Sooo here's the story. I'm a teacher..hence the name...and needed to get my report cards done...they are an online application. They night before they were due I was at home trying to finish them but my internet was down. So i called my best friend and asked him if his internet was working and he said yes so i asked him if i could come over and finish my reports. He was akward at first and then said he had someone coming over..which meant he was having a bootycall with a stranger off the net. I have no problem with that....i'm not here to judge..but i cant help but feel that my friend..my suposed best friend chose sex over helping me. To make things even more interesting...before this happened my friend asked me if i would consider cosigning a credit card for him and i told him i'd think about it. I'm disapointed in his decision...do i just need to get over it? or should i begin evaluating wether i need to find new friends. I'm pretty sure that the credit card decision has been made for me. Thoughts?
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    Mar 10, 2009 11:06 PM GMT
    Teacherguy saidSooo here's the story. I'm a teacher..hence the name...and needed to get my report cards done...they are an online application. They night before they were due I was at home trying to finish them but my internet was down. So i called my best friend and asked him if his internet was working and he said yes so i asked him if i could come over and finish my reports. He was akward at first and then said he had someone coming over..which meant he was having a bootycall with a stranger off the net. I have no problem with that....i'm not here to judge..but i cant help but feel that my friend..my suposed best friend chose sex over helping me. To make things even more interesting...before this happened my friend asked me if i would consider cosigning a credit card for him and i told him i'd think about it. I'm disapointed in his decision...do i just need to get over it? or should i begin evaluating wether i need to find new friends. I'm pretty sure that the credit card decision has been made for me. Thoughts?


    mmm... well I´d never cosign a card like that. WAY too risky. As to the rest.. laptop? Wifi? I mean, the hookup guy might have been really cute... I don´t know more than you´ve told me, but I would hardly ditch him over it.
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Mar 11, 2009 12:56 AM GMT
    Don't ditch
    Don't do the credit card.
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    Mar 11, 2009 1:02 AM GMT
    Don't ditch and don't co-sign. I agree.

    You're both expecting too much. You want him to drop his hook-up, which is about like asking a crack addict to put down the pipe and he's wanting you to co-sign a credit card. You are better off just loaning him money on a signed note in which you could incorporate a lien against his car or house. Then if he doesn't pay, your credit doesn't get hosed.

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    Mar 11, 2009 1:04 AM GMT
    the credit card sounds like a bad idea... but dude if he was in one of those moods that we all get in sometimes.. then well forgive him cuz it happens to everyone.
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    Mar 11, 2009 1:30 AM GMT
    First.... *Hugs* for being a teacher. You guys do not get the respect or money you deserve. Then again... it is easy to tell that teachers go into the profession for other reasons besides money. (My mom and sister are teachers... one of my closets friends is my former 1st grade teacher who I had 1989-1990)

    Anyways... it is good you wish not to judge. But I can understand your concern. I wouldn't do the credit card though.

    Now onto the friendship. Are you in a different "plcae" in life than he is? Do you have different philosophies and goals in life? If so, do yyou find yourself, influenced, or disppointed by his actions? If yes... I would think about distancing yourself from him. If not... just talk to him about it.

    If you find you are at different maturity or different sex-drive levels and you wish not to go down that road... leave the friendship.

    Perhaps taliing about it would be good. Either way... do not sign the credit card!
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    Mar 11, 2009 1:38 AM GMT
    If you co-sign, you'll definitely lose your friend.

    In my opinion, your friend did the right thing by getting sex when he could. If you're his friend, you'll be there tomorrow. Booty calls aren't.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Mar 11, 2009 1:41 AM GMT
    Hey sorry you have something like this going on.... but I bet most of us at one time or another are at a "crossroads" with friends (or supposid friends).

    We probably don't really know enough to give you a good assessment, other than be emphatic about the credit card request. That was over the line, unless he was really desperate. I think being asked to borrow money or something like this is really a tough thing to do. I've seen "money" issues ruin friendships really quick.

    Regarding your grade question, you are right to wonder. You needed help and made a request. He made a decision. My suggestion isn't to cut the dude off, wait and evaluate more. I think if you have another situation or two and he isn't "friendly", I'd move on....... but (again not knowing how very close you are)... give him some flexibility and you might even have a talk with him and let him know how you feel. He may "abdicate" the "best friend" position.....and you will know better what to expect the next time you ask a friend for assistance.
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    Mar 11, 2009 1:51 AM GMT
    You shouldn't have left them until the last minute.
  • Teacherguy

    Posts: 150

    Mar 11, 2009 1:51 AM GMT
    thanks for the opinions fellas..i appreciate it. Guess if i were in his position, i would have just called the fella and told him it was off and help my friend....but thats just the way i roll. I know i'll get over it...just a bit iritated. I've forgiven him for crashing my car twice before, and let him live in my house for free when he broke up with his ex....guess my expectations are a little high.icon_eek.gif
  • styrgan

    Posts: 2017

    Mar 11, 2009 1:57 AM GMT
    Teacherguy saidI've forgiven him for crashing my car twice before, and let him live in my house for free when he broke up with his ex....guess my expectations are a little high.icon_eek.gif


    This guy sounds like trouble... and not the fun, exciting type.
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    Mar 11, 2009 2:04 AM GMT
    You are exceptionally kind. But do NOT co-sign. As for Internet access, it would have been nice but it sound like it's not in his play list to think of you first (or perhaps even second). I might be wrong given the limited info.

    In a pinch you probably could get on-line at your local library.
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    Mar 11, 2009 2:09 AM GMT
    Teacherguy said...I've forgiven him for crashing my car twice before...
    I co-signed something ONCE. For a good, loyal friend. A friend who would never let me down. Then the fucker moved out of state and defaulted on his payments. The bank, insisting I take over the payments (they were enormous), sent collection agencies after me. My friend? No contact, nothing. I ended up in bankruptcy to dispose of HIS debt.

    And what if he always makes payments but then has an accident, or dies? It's your bill now.

    And the car thing...that's a big neon billboard shouting at you. He's not your friend.
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    Mar 11, 2009 2:12 AM GMT
    Parable saidYou shouldn't have left them until the last minute.


    HAHA! Are you a teacher?
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    Mar 11, 2009 2:15 AM GMT
    Hahahahahahaha. That's hilarious.

    You'd be a bad friend if you dropped your friend because he had a booty call. Happens to the best of us I'm sure.

    As for the credit card co-sign thing I would highly advice against it unless you have indisputable proof and knowledge that your friend is good with money. Even then it's a big risk so in the long run I would say no to that.

    Have your friend ask his booty call for the co-sign. That should be good for a laugh. icon_lol.gif
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    Mar 11, 2009 2:16 AM GMT
    Teacherguy saidthanks for the opinions fellas..i appreciate it. Guess if i were in his position, i would have just called the fella and told him it was off and help my friend....but thats just the way i roll. I know i'll get over it...just a bit iritated. I've forgiven him for crashing my car twice before, and let him live in my house for free when he broke up with his ex....guess my expectations are a little high.icon_eek.gif


    Let Dubya give you some advice on your friend who appears to possibly be using you:



    ... or something like that. Seriously consider distancing yourself from this guy...it sounds like you are two different.icon_cool.gif
  • mcwclewis

    Posts: 1701

    Mar 11, 2009 2:26 AM GMT
    ??? I think its shitty of him to not help you, booty call or not.

    Bros before hos, man.


    Though it doesn't sound to me like he's the greatest friend anyways
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    Mar 11, 2009 2:31 AM GMT
    Hmmm...

    I agree

    But.....You probably had more than one friend with an internet connection you could have asked.

    and how bad an excuse is I'm sorry to ruin the evening but you can't come over, my friends internet connection is broken and he needs to use mine
  • styrgan

    Posts: 2017

    Mar 11, 2009 2:37 AM GMT
    cjcscuba1984 said
    Teacherguy saidthanks for the opinions fellas..i appreciate it. Guess if i were in his position, i would have just called the fella and told him it was off and help my friend....but thats just the way i roll. I know i'll get over it...just a bit iritated. I've forgiven him for crashing my car twice before, and let him live in my house for free when he broke up with his ex....guess my expectations are a little high.icon_eek.gif


    Let Dubya give you some advice on your friend who appears to possibly be using you:



    ... or something like that. Seriously consider distancing yourself from this guy...it sounds like you are two different.icon_cool.gif


    You know... I was looking for that clip the other day, Scuba... Thanks!!!!
  • styrgan

    Posts: 2017

    Mar 11, 2009 2:37 AM GMT
    cjcscuba1984 said
    Teacherguy saidthanks for the opinions fellas..i appreciate it. Guess if i were in his position, i would have just called the fella and told him it was off and help my friend....but thats just the way i roll. I know i'll get over it...just a bit iritated. I've forgiven him for crashing my car twice before, and let him live in my house for free when he broke up with his ex....guess my expectations are a little high.icon_eek.gif


    Let Dubya give you some advice on your friend who appears to possibly be using you:



    ... or something like that. Seriously consider distancing yourself from this guy...it sounds like you are two different.icon_cool.gif


    You know... I was looking for that clip the other day, Scuba... Thanks!!!!
  • Teacherguy

    Posts: 150

    Mar 11, 2009 3:53 AM GMT
    26mileman said
    Parable saidYou shouldn't have left them until the last minute.


    HAHA! Are you a teacher?


    haha funny yes i am...and i was editing a few comments the night before..i was already done.
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    Mar 11, 2009 4:09 AM GMT
    Teacherguy saidthanks for the opinions fellas..i appreciate it. Guess if i were in his position, i would have just called the fella and told him it was off and help my friend....but thats just the way i roll. I know i'll get over it...just a bit iritated. I've forgiven him for crashing my car twice before, and let him live in my house for free when he broke up with his ex....guess my expectations are a little high.icon_eek.gif



    dude, seriously, this guy is using you for your stuff (car, place to stay) and now trying to cross the ultimate line of money. NEVER NEVER NEVER co-sign a loan, a credit card, anything. Its your ass on the line.

    I crashed my best friends car, and guess what, the next day I had it in for repairs and back to him two days later. This was after he said not to bother, but when someone is accountable for their life, they take care of the messes they make and themselves, You are not doing your "friend" any favors by helping him.
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    Mar 11, 2009 4:13 AM GMT
    Parable saidYou shouldn't have left them until the last minute.

    Do you have any idea what it is like to be a teacher and do grades ?
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    Mar 11, 2009 4:30 AM GMT
    prolly pretty hard lining up the key with the filled in bubbles. icon_lol.gif
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    Mar 11, 2009 4:45 AM GMT
    Teacherguy saidthanks for the opinions fellas..i appreciate it. Guess if i were in his position, i would have just called the fella and told him it was off and help my friend....but thats just the way i roll. I know i'll get over it...just a bit iritated. I've forgiven him for crashing my car twice before, and let him live in my house for free when he broke up with his ex....guess my expectations are a little high.icon_eek.gif


    He might not have been able to change the plans. If I were your friend and that happened I'd ask you to come over after I was done if I couldn't cancel. I wouldn't break off the friendship though. Unless he continues being a jerk.