would you be the bottom(top) if you are naturally a top(bottom) to stay in a great relationship?

  • kaccioto

    Posts: 284

    Mar 10, 2009 11:25 PM GMT
    ...assuming he's everything else you wanted..career-oriented, looks, right mix of asshole/humility, doesn't steal, long-term view
  • TallGWMvballe...

    Posts: 1925

    Mar 11, 2009 5:55 PM GMT
    Good topic!

    My last LTR was like that in reverse.
    I am naturally a top and my BF was as well, but he bottomed for me to keep the relationship going. I was always impressed and grateful and I DID try to bottom for him but it simply didn't work.
    To directly answer your question; YES I would try if this comes up again and I am moved when the other guy does as well.
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    Mar 11, 2009 6:18 PM GMT
    I find if all the other elements are in place I can and I am willing to shift roles to some degree as long as he is willing to compromie too. I find most in true love will easily work this matter out. It's why I don't ask, nor want to know the personal prefernces on the first couple of dates. Just wait and let it happen.
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    Mar 11, 2009 10:25 PM GMT
    If he is completely unwilling to compromise on this, then what else isn't he willing to compromise on?

    There is a single truth in this world, and that is we all get fucked sometimes.
  • kaccioto

    Posts: 284

    Mar 16, 2009 2:32 PM GMT
    Cowboiway saidI find if all the other elements are in place I can and I am willing to shift roles to some degree as long as he is willing to compromie too. I find most in true love will easily work this matter out. It's why I don't ask, nor want to know the personal prefernces on the first couple of dates. Just wait and let it happen.


    agreed.
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    Mar 16, 2009 4:19 PM GMT

    How did it happen to become a great relationship when sexually there wasn't a match ??
    As I think people define their position already from the first conversation.. you can see in his eyes wether it's the "Fuck me" look or the other way around..
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    Mar 16, 2009 4:22 PM GMT
    In general, people in relationships will have to compromise to keep it going. Compromising sexually is critical to a relationship. But here's the problem, you are who you are. Compromising over relatively unimportant things is one thing, but this is much deeper issue. It goes to the heart of who you are as a sexual being. If you both are willing to compromise, maybe in different ways then maybe it can work. But if he just expects you to change for him, then it simply won't work. It has to be a compromise for both of you IMO.

    Personally, I would think that two bottoms could make this work better than two tops, but that's more a hunch than anything.
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    Mar 17, 2009 3:12 AM GMT
    I'm versatile, and quite adamant about it. I love to bottom, and I love to top. If I don't get to do both in the relationship, then it just isn't going to work for me. I've tried being just the bottom, and I've tried being just the top. I don't like being 100% on either.

    My last boyfriend was strictly a top when I met him. We never went over the whole top-bottom conversation when we first started seeing each other, as that's not necessarily dinner conversation that I like to have in restaurants. When it came down to having sex, I was always the one to make advances. (He was a bit shy at first, after all.) Since I like to bottom more than top, I always jumped right into that role. After our third time or so, I told him I wanted to top him. He said no, he doesn't really do that unless he's REALLY serious about someone. After having sex twice more with him and him not budging, I told him he could top me again when I could top him. Long story short, we were never really sexually compatible, even after giving it a go for about 10 months, and it ended (for other reasons). I've decided that finding someone you're sexually compatible with at the start is the way to go, because chances are it's not going to change.
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Apr 03, 2009 7:44 PM GMT
    A true bottom, usually just dont enjoy being a top and vice versa. I was strictly top before and will never let any one top me. If I am in a relationship with another top , we will just do non anal . Now that I am a bottom, I just dont enjoy being a top. I have fuck one boy when he so insisting that I do it. But I dont cum or enjoy myself. I feel like I am just a piece of plastic dildo that are use to satisfied his desire.

    However in a relationship, probably we need to discuss it first and probably I could enjoy being a top again.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Apr 03, 2009 7:47 PM GMT
    MunchingZombie saidIf he is completely unwilling to compromise on this, then what else isn't he willing to compromise on?

    There is a single truth in this world, and that is we all get fucked sometimes.


    I agree.

    I don't ask anyone to do anything in bed I'm not willing to do myself.
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    Apr 03, 2009 9:22 PM GMT
    MunchingZombie saidIf he is completely unwilling to compromise on this, then what else isn't he willing to compromise on?

    There is a single truth in this world, and that is we all get fucked sometimes.

    Sorta agree, a relationship isn't perfectly 50/50 in everything, some times one is going to give more somewhere while the other will give more somewhere else..

    Perhaps he might be untilling to compromise in being a bottom at times for his own reasons but maybe he's happy to do other stuff (sexual or none sexual)

    You shouldn't strive for balance in everything but balance as a whole
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    Apr 03, 2009 9:30 PM GMT
    No. It must be 50/50 or as mood dictates.
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    Apr 03, 2009 11:21 PM GMT
    kaccioto said...assuming he's everything else you wanted..career-oriented, looks, right mix of asshole/humility, doesn't steal, long-term view

    icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 04, 2009 12:44 AM GMT
    Actuallly Ive never been the bottom but was gonna be the bottom for the current guy.

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    Apr 04, 2009 4:34 AM GMT
    theonslaught saidActuallly Ive never been the bottom but was gonna be the bottom for the current guy.


    oh I don't believe you.. you've never bottomed.. hahaha.. yes.. and I've never cum before
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    Apr 05, 2009 7:16 AM GMT
    lilTanker said
    theonslaught saidActuallly Ive never been the bottom but was gonna be the bottom for the current guy.


    oh I don't believe you.. you've never bottomed.. hahaha.. yes.. and I've never cum before



    No i said im not usually the bottom havent so in years. Ive most always been the top in anything. For the current guy i was gonna be the bottom because he was new and i loved him.

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    Apr 05, 2009 8:04 AM GMT
    Yes, unless there is a physical reason why it does not work. Not everyone can tolerate or enjoy anal sex. But he should at least be willing to compromise initially to see if he can learn to love it.

    BTW I like your criteria for a good partner, especially the asshole/humility and does not steal part!