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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2009 3:47 AM GMT
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  • OptimusMatt

    Posts: 1124

    Mar 12, 2009 3:57 AM GMT
    I ran into this issue. I had roommates (they were dating each other) and they would randomly bring home tricks to spitroast the one (can you tell I'm a little bitter about this).

    My response, after 'sleeping' through the first spitroast (and by 'sleeping' I mean I was in my bedroom TRYING to sleep and heard the whole thing) was 'send me a text message, or call me, or LET ME KNOW so I can NOT be in the house while you're doing this'

    I don't care if you have sex, I really don't, but I don't want to have to try and sleep through it or pretend like I don't know what's going on RIGHT above my head. I don't think that's too unreasonable.


    But...apparently it was too much to ask for a simple text message. Personally, I evicted them. After having gone through the exact same situation 4 more times I'd had enough.

    I recommend, ESPECIALLY if your home is your 'sanctuary' you do not allow others to live there. People have a lot less regard for you than you would hope/think and if you're anal AT ALL about things...you'll snap. Don't do it.
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    Mar 12, 2009 4:17 AM GMT
    There is no way to regulate it. And if they bring home someone if means showers, toilet use, electrical use, general wear. Sleep overs become weekenders and then long weekends, etc. Hotels charge for that extra person in the room for a reason.
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    Mar 12, 2009 4:18 AM GMT
    It's not unreasonable animanimus. Every time I've had roommates I never brought tricks over. If I was actually dating someone then yeah but that was still rare. It's your house and you make the rules. If they don't like it then they can find somewhere more suitable to their livelihood.
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    Mar 12, 2009 4:19 AM GMT
    find a gay boy who's waiting for marriage to have sex >_
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2009 4:48 AM GMT
    I have roomates and a "No Tricks Allowed" rule. Works well for our house because there is a bath house nearby if they need a place for that sorta thing. Hehe.


    Joe
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    Mar 12, 2009 4:49 AM GMT
    chaos444 saidfind a gay boy who's waiting for marriage to have sex >_


    Well, I've met a couple...but it never ends up that way!

    I think if you have private rooms, rules should be: keep it legal and no noise disturbance. Otherwise, you better be giving a good rate. It's your home, but it's their room when they rent it. It's as simple as that. Are you allowed to have sex in your room? If it's really a "trick" issue, then maybe restrict it to one different person per month max. But, good luck controlling it.
  • Tiller66

    Posts: 380

    Mar 12, 2009 5:10 AM GMT
    Just tell them that they are responceible for antthing they'er tricks do while they are there and if they don't like it they will find another place.And buy the way your place looks wounderful.Good luck
  • imperator

    Posts: 626

    Mar 12, 2009 6:38 AM GMT
    If it was me? I would keep looking, just on principle. If I'm paying for a place to live, then short of the obvious (no trashing the place, no criminal activity, etc) I wouldn't accept my landlord imposing regulations on my sex life. Isn't that part of the point of moving out of your parents' house in the first place-- you accept the responsibility of paying rent in exchange for the freedom to set your own rules (and get laid)? What you're talking about kinda sounds more like a boarding-house parole arrangement rather than a lease.

    After I moved out my parents started talking about renting out my old room and asking me if I knew any "clean, quiet college students" who might be looking for accommodation, but then under questioning the preconditions started to sneak out... well, they'd have to be in by a certain hour because them coming and going at all hours wouldn't do (and they'd have to learn dad's "etiquette" for entering the house where one announces one's self or gets lectured for "sneaking around")... and they'd probably have to be single because my dad had issues with me having sex in his house, nevermind strangers... and they'd have to be willing to help out around the house with stuff like shoveling the driveway... and-- and that's when I told them "no, I seriously doubt you'll find anyone willing to pay you to be their controlling parents when, for the same money, they could get an apartment where they could come and go as they please, get laid, and have professionally plowed parking."

    Long and short of it, if you propose a rental accommodation that doesn't include the renter's freedom to conduct their own personal affairs as they see fit, it better be a once-in-a-lifetime deal. Otherwise, you're positioning yourself poorly in a competitive market, because I imagine the vast majority of options don't include a "no bringing home hookups" clause in the rental agreement.
  • josephmovie

    Posts: 533

    Mar 12, 2009 7:00 AM GMT
    Simple. Just rent out to a gay friendly female. They generally don't shag around as much, particularly if they are in their 30s.

    But I do think it is unreasonable to sanction roomates' sexual habits to any degree. You're not their father.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2009 9:27 AM GMT
    Smoking has no place in a residence if one is to be healthy.

    It's a complete no-brainer.
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    Mar 12, 2009 9:28 AM GMT
    Your views remind me of a friend's house in Coconut Grove, FL.

    I get where you're coming from. I agree with the no smoking rule, but it's difficult to prohibit renters from engaging in sexual activity. If that's your plan, you may not want to rent after all.
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Mar 12, 2009 12:15 PM GMT
    No way. I wouldnt even rent a hotel room that disallow guest. I was in Manila, the Phillippines and those hotel (they call it pensioner) , it like "no guest, no food, no drink". And it the last time , I stay in a place like that. I am paying for the room , it my own business what I do with it.

    If I would not stay in the hotel that dont allow guest, I sure hell, not going to rent a room that restrict my freedom in daily basis. Those controlling hotel or landlord can keep their room empty and I can take my business somewhere else.
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    Mar 12, 2009 1:21 PM GMT
    sounds acceptable to me -- no one would want total strangers just showing up whenever, in to your home at the discretion of some one who trully has a much less vested interest in what could happen as a result.

    So yeah, tell the potential renter - I don't judge, go to their place, but I can't allow random hook-ups coming in and out the door.

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    Mar 12, 2009 1:37 PM GMT
    I am a consenting adult, not your son. I would not rent from you. If I pay my expect rent on time the space is mine to do in it what I please with in reason.

    If you expect these rules to be followed make sure you explain this up front.

    I understand your concerns abotu your home and sanctuary. However, do you honestly expect the guy to be a monk, or have to beg for some one to host, just because he has needs he wants to meet.

    I woul dsuggest finding a compromise between the two. One make sure you don't rent to someone who wants them every day. Two maybe ask they limit them, or advise you in advance. Somethign along those lines.

    Last, perhaps making sure you vacate the home allowing them private time to meet someone.

    The need in most gay men is there, and they shouldn't feel they are in thier parents home. It should also be thier home while they stay there. Most people forget that. They may be renting a room, but to them that is thier home. Make them feel liek it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2009 1:49 PM GMT
    I suggest you don't do it. Who I bring home and whether its for a night, a day, a week, a year, is not any of my landlord's concern. I get pretty offended when other people try to impose their version of morality on me. If I pay my rent, and I am not loud, obnoxious or disturbing you then what difference does it make who I have over. Nor would I appreciate your hovering eyes trying to determine who is a "trick" and who is a friend.

    You have the wrong attitude for renting out space in your home. Forget about it.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Mar 12, 2009 2:12 PM GMT
    the no smoking is a no-brainer, fuhh shurrrrrr......but NO SEX??? in a separate room, with a closeable, lockable door?

    you must be a southern babtist? icon_lol.gif
  • silverfox

    Posts: 3178

    Mar 12, 2009 2:46 PM GMT
    If I put myself in a sexually restricted situation I would probably be spending all my time thinking about how I could get around the rules and have sex,

    For some reason I am thinking about the plight of closeted gay republicans.
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    Mar 12, 2009 2:50 PM GMT
    I dont think you should have a no trick rule. It sounds like you have a problem when they bring a stranger over. If that is the case, then just have the "meet three times before bringing them over" rule. Thats what my friends do at their apartment, it keeps the crazies out. Just have the person renting meet the person three times before having the trick come over... Well actually, would they even be allowed to have friends over anytime they want?? If they can, then the trick thing is not a problem.. If you have certain rules on them having friends over, then maybe the problem isn't with the tricks at all.. Definitely consider if you really want a roommate, since they are paying rent, they are entitled to leading a free life .
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    Mar 12, 2009 3:57 PM GMT
    How do you distinguish between a trick and a date? What do your renters do when you're not there? Do they have to have their friends individually reviewed by you, and if you're not at home, are they out of luck? Sounds complicated and impractical, not to mention arbitrary.
  • ROYCE13

    Posts: 315

    Mar 12, 2009 4:12 PM GMT
    you are out of touch, you can restrict, legally, a no smoking rule and you can have a visiting hours rule and even the number of visitors, due to residence and size of place. but you cannot restrict if some one brings a trick or date or lover home. But you can have a no overnight guest clause if you want, since you are a residence and it protects you and the other tenants as well, due to the environment of a small residence, this could fly, but you should also check with your city/state on lease terms for your type of establishment or so called establishment, it could be a fun thing, try and so how it goes
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    Mar 12, 2009 4:22 PM GMT
    WOW!. A "No Sex" rule in a house. Good luck finding anyone other then a nun to promote that idea. If you can't be an adult and come up with ways to sit down and discuss a particular issue like this with your roomies then you are in for a rude awakening.

    If I'm paying rent to live there I have rights and no landlord or tenant has the right to invade on my sexual life. I figure as long my "guest" don't overstep any boundaries or do anything that question my intergrity tot he house then it's a gravey.

    Dont' get me wrong. That's a nice place and I certainly wouldn't want to ruin the atmosphere about it but at the same time a place like that practically screams sex. If you wanna keep such a thing pure and untouched then I would suggest not renting period because I'm sure someone is gonna do something in their.

    Define a trick? That's rather rude and prejudgemental of you. What the person you rent to just happens to have alot of freidns with benefits? You'llnever know and quite frankly it's none of your business so long as rent is paid by the 1st, no complaints are made and nothing goes missing from the house.

    As far as smoking goes that sounds very resonable for obvious reasons like market value and because it is a helath issue. Other then that you are hard pressed to find someone to not want to have sex in a place they are paying rent for. That's ludacris. Oh yeah and ladies in their mid 30's and above like to screw too so their goes that rather bogus theory. LOL.
  • ROYCE13

    Posts: 315

    Mar 12, 2009 4:26 PM GMT
    p.s. you might treat the establishment like a bed and breakfast type establishment without the breakfast, reason being I have been to B/Bs in residences that did not allow over night visitors and some have not allowed guests in the rooms. A business can regulate what they want and how they want it. But it has to be spelled out and on the lease. If you were a bigger place then the rules change, but due to size and type , you have more leverage to do what you want.
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    Mar 12, 2009 4:33 PM GMT
    I think that only works for hotels, motels, gated communities and zoned apartment complexes. Not regular houses. I could be wrong though.
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    Mar 12, 2009 4:39 PM GMT
    interesting...

    It obviously boils down to this:
    If you are "taking in" some one to help them out, then your rule is fair.
    If you are renting a space and acting as landlord, then you can only evict if they fail to pay or not meet the conditions set forth by the rental agreement and obviously no rental dwelling/Landlord has the legal (authority) to dictate your sex life.



    ...but let's keep in mind - the question stems from animanimus bringing you in to his home and at best you are occupying (renting) a "room" - in other words the rest of the dwelling and property are all mine and are furnished by me alone...
    Then I think if I am offering that and you are agreeing I can play parent - and if you say no way then you can always get your own place. icon_wink.gif