is SEX necessary in a man to man relationship?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2009 11:49 AM GMT
    Is it? straight couples, specially the conservative ones, don't consider it as a necessity.. do you?
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    Mar 12, 2009 11:58 AM GMT
    Yes, certainly in the initial stages and even for the first few years. Not so sure about with longer term couples though.

    I think sex creates an intimacy that is not present once you stop having sex. Also, sometimes it's a case of one person wanting the sex and the other one not wanting it from their partner.

    If you are not having sex with your partner aren't you just very good friends or flatmates?
  • rnch

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    Mar 12, 2009 12:19 PM GMT
    well...to paraphrase former President Clinton: "that depends on your definition of 'sex' ".

    i beleive that hugging, kissing, stroking, nude cuddleing, bj's are needed, required and desired sex in a m2m relationship.

    depending on the 2 guys involved, full insertion anal sex may or may not be needed.
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    Mar 12, 2009 1:09 PM GMT
    rnch saidwell...to paraphrase former President Clinton: "that depends on your definition of 'sex' ".

    i beleive that hugging, kissing, stroking, nude cuddleing, bj's are needed, required and desired sex in a m2m relationship.

    depending on the 2 guys involved, full insertion anal sex may or may not be needed.

    I've had relationships without anal, the other guy never did that with anyone, and we got along great with just oral and manual, but we did have sex. I don't think a true relationship happens without sex, otherwise it's just a friendship
  • rnch

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    Mar 12, 2009 2:16 PM GMT
    [quote][cite]Red_Vespa said I don't think a true relationship happens without sex, otherwise it's just a friendship[/quote] well said and very true!
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    Mar 12, 2009 2:25 PM GMT
    Personally for me yes. It does not have to be every day, but there needs to be that physical intimacy. It adds another dimension to the relationship.
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    Mar 12, 2009 2:34 PM GMT
    Absolutely it's necessary. I had an ex at one point with the sex drive of a 90 year old woman...and he was a male in his 20's. The lack of physical intimacy was a big time problem for me. It led me to all sorts of questions, which I dismissed, but I couldn't get over feeling that there was absolutely no passion in the relationship. Maybe passion isn't all that big of a deal for some, but for me, if we don't have passion in the relationship what do we really have. I suppose if you have two people with absolutely no sex drive, maybe it could work???? I don't know I don't understand that condition.
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    Mar 12, 2009 2:41 PM GMT
    My parents haven't had sex in years
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    Mar 12, 2009 2:54 PM GMT
    cjcscuba1984 saidMy parents haven't had sex in years


    Nobody's parents have. Well, at least that's what we want to think, lol.
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    Mar 12, 2009 3:26 PM GMT
    depends on your age i think...your priorities might change with your age...sometimes theres another individual (a kid) that can be affected by any decisions taken in a relationship. There could be more things to think about. So yeah, depends on your age.
  • cityguy39

    Posts: 967

    Mar 12, 2009 3:53 PM GMT
    Sex is very important is very important in a male male relationship. You have to meet in the middle somewhere. Having a BF with a high sex drive unsatisfied, can be a reciepe for disaster. I think most guys don't really consider the eachother's needs sexually in the begining of a relationship, esp when your very young, you don't find out til much later. I think as you get older you know what you want and you have been around the block a few times to know what's up, sex becomes less of a mystery. I'm at a point in my life where I know what I like sexually and I know what I want and a relationship without anal sex isn't it.
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    Mar 12, 2009 3:59 PM GMT
    You better believe it's necessary! One month without sex throws up a red flag in my book. Like planecrazy states, "it does not have to be everyday, but there needs to be that physical intimacy." So true! For me, cuddling, kissing and hugging only goes so far. I want to know you want me. I want to see that yearning in your eyes with each thrust. I want to hear and feel your heavy breathing. I want that body contact and connection. I want to make the one I'm with happy.

    Ok...ummm...gotta run now. Talking about sex is making me a little randy! icon_twisted.gif
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    Mar 12, 2009 3:59 PM GMT
    Sex is a great a connection between two people especially when in a relationship. I wouldn't say you need to have sex all the time but I would say you need to have sex to keep things going otherwise the relationship gets stail and you just end up having a roomate with no perks. LOL.

    As far as I know my parents are still doing "the deed" and they're both in their mid 50's. Kudos folks. LOL.
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    Mar 12, 2009 4:10 PM GMT
    Sex means, to me, sexual intimacy as well as the other important intimacies that come along: hugging, kissing, snuggling, talking intimately, etc. And in the arc of a relationship, the heavy duty sex (fucking, sucking, etc.) seems to run its course in about 6-8 weeks. I'm in a relationship now that includes all of it, including some 4 hours fuckathons, but they're not as frequent. Maybe only once every other week. But other shorter sessions, and non-sexual stuff in the meantime.

    We both think it's good to mix it up, and invite a third to join us periodically. We see our mission as having fun, allowing him to join in, then getting him off and getting him out, before we cum together. We're both versatile so that makes it very hot, too.
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    Mar 12, 2009 4:22 PM GMT
    I do think that both sex and intimacy are necessary components in a relationship, and that in balance they are two things that make a relationship great and fun and keep things fresh.

    For me, sharing my body is the most unselfish act of love I can commit to a relationship. Making slow, passionate love is an experience that transcends the physical and sexual and actually becomes a spiritual experience where the world outside your two bodies ceases to exist and where time becomes irrelevant. That experience for me strengthens the emotion and love I have for someone, and on some level validates me as a man and a partner.

    The playful "boy-boy" sex which is perhaps a little more spontaneous and definitely more light-hearted is just simply fun and feels amazing, and it energizes me physically, mentally and emotionally.

    Then the intense, throw me down conquer and ravage me, pillow biting athletic sex that leaves you sweaty, spent and satisfied beyond words is just mind-blowing, not to mention the fact that it makes me feel sexy, desirable and just lets the wild boy in me play for a while.

    All three are really necessary for what I would call a healthy sexual life which makes a good relationship great. It takes being willing to open yourself up sexually fully and trust your partner - all of which is good for the relationship.
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    Mar 12, 2009 4:25 PM GMT
    Erm, I'd have to say that sex isn't a necessity but a pleasure.

    We just give it more importance as a society than it deserves.

    There's so much more to relationships then sex.
  • Anto

    Posts: 2035

    Mar 12, 2009 4:28 PM GMT
    I don't think it is necessary for a relationship. As for people that relate not having sex as to making a relationship nothing but a friendship - I don't agree with that.

    You don't have sex with your family members do you? Does that make your relationship with a family member only a friendship?

    Plus some friendships can be very close surpassing the people in sex-having relationships!

    People have sex all of the time and it has no relationship meaning, it's just to get off. But then there are people in relationships and their sex is something that is very intimate and bonding for them.

    I think sex is important or can be important but when it comes to a relationship it depends on the relationship itself. You don't have to have sex to be really close to someone even if it's man-to-man.

    Take Froddo and Sam for example in the Lord of the Rings movies!
  • ShagonTheHate

    Posts: 135

    Mar 12, 2009 4:40 PM GMT
    Sex is necessary in a relationship, if not anal sex at first, than at least, cuddling, bj etc. There is no exact why, it just is. I didn't wanna have anal sex with my first boyfriend for the first 5 months, he went crazy.icon_lol.gif Well yes, that's prorbably one of the biggest reasons he broke up with me. My reasons were lying from his side and the fact that he didn't want to take an AIDS test (after admitting to me that he had unprotected sex with more than one partner before we got together), that was the main reason I didn't want to have sex at all. Later we did use protection a few times, but at that point we were already fed up with the whole thing XD.
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    Mar 12, 2009 5:03 PM GMT
    HighVoltageGuy saidI want to hear and feel your heavy breathing.


    You just don't want to smell it! Bad breathe is a huge turn off.

    But yes, as everybody else has said, sex is a must. Especially being 23....jesus, I beat it like a screen door in a hurricane multiple times a day...when I can't get it any other way.
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    Mar 12, 2009 5:10 PM GMT
    sex is very important in a relationship no matter how long the couple have been together.
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    Mar 12, 2009 5:13 PM GMT
    i dont beleive sex makes a successful relationship, but it is important, ESPECIALLY in man on man relationships. we ARE men by nature we are meant to reproduce like mad. women are the natural nurturers, thats why we suck at relationships too.
  • zakariahzol

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    Mar 12, 2009 5:19 PM GMT
    Why bother to have relationship if you are not having sex. That is a friend.
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    Mar 12, 2009 6:48 PM GMT
    Yes, otherwise we all would be straight and married and gays would not exist.

    While a relationship may not be built on sex alone, it is a part of the relationship. Especialy at first. Later it can dwindle but that is up to the people in the relatiosnhip.
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    Mar 12, 2009 6:49 PM GMT
    does a bear shit in the woods? icon_biggrin.gif
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    Mar 12, 2009 7:20 PM GMT

    Straight conservative couples, first of all, can get married, a union which gives them a financial, social, or familiar benefits. It's not often that parents put pressure on their gay son to marry their business partners son because the two of them marrying would be a good finanacial move. It happens with straights often. Then straight people will marry for purely religious motives: often, marrying, having enough sex to have kids and then never touching eachother again, another practice gay men rarely share, atleast not the sort of religious practice that would require a sexless union.