"Assuming" just makes an "ass" out of "u" and "me"

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2009 4:46 PM GMT
    Why is it that everytime a post on this site is somewhat ambiguous or goes against the grain, everyone is quick to come to a conclusion about the dude who wrote the topic?

    "I love this guy but he's getting out of shape and it's ruining our sex. What do I do..."

    Response: "You are so shallow, you don't love him, you're an inconsiderate bastard... blah blah blah."

    WTF??

    I thought that posts on here were to help people through tough situations and encourage others to try and help, not verbally rape them and condemn them to being an awful person.

    Maybe I'm wrong... then I guess I'll have to take every gay person on this site at face value also.
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    Mar 12, 2009 6:40 PM GMT
    Well, while some people's posts might not be entirely helpful, sometimes they are just very matter of fact and truthful.

    That being said, there are a lot of people on here who should look up the definition of the word "tact" and learn to apply it to their responses.

    I personally prefer that people be as up front and honest with me as possible, but find that most people are too nice to say what's really on their mind. *shrug*.

    Oh, and in my experience, assuming generally just makes an ass out of the person making the assumption.
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    Mar 12, 2009 8:16 PM GMT
    The forum is to gain opinions and different outlooks. Sometimes one can be helped. Sometimes the plain blunt truth needs to be said.
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    Mar 12, 2009 8:22 PM GMT
    I think these threads can teach you a lot about composition, intent, perception. Knowing how apt people are to misunderstand your (anonymous) post can encourage you to improve your delivery.
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    Mar 12, 2009 8:25 PM GMT
    mickeytopogigio saidI think these threads can teach you a lot about composition, intent, perception. Knowing how apt people are to misunderstand your (anonymous) post can encourage you to improve your delivery.

    Once again, the Mick nailed it
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    Mar 12, 2009 8:32 PM GMT
    yngstud4mscl saidWhy is it that everytime a post on this site is somewhat ambiguous or goes against the grain, everyone is quick to come to a conclusion about the dude who wrote the topic?

    "I love this guy but he's getting out of shape and it's ruining our sex. What do I do..."

    Response: "You are so shallow, you don't love him, you're an inconsiderate bastard... blah blah blah."

    WTF??

    I thought that posts on here were to help people through tough situations and encourage others to try and help, not verbally rape them and condemn them to being an awful person.

    Maybe I'm wrong... then I guess I'll have to take every gay person on this site at face value also.


    Some people like to pass judgment on others. They would think twice about doing it to your face, but since this medium lends anonymity... sometimes all bets are off...
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    Mar 12, 2009 8:36 PM GMT
    Luckydog76 said
    mickeytopogigio saidI think these threads can teach you a lot about composition, intent, perception. Knowing how apt people are to misunderstand your (anonymous) post can encourage you to improve your delivery.

    Once again, the Mick nailed it
    You flamin' me, asshole!!!? Why I oughta...!!!

    Sorry...I need my random rage sometimes. Thanks, and I love you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2009 8:42 PM GMT
    ymabig.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2009 8:42 PM GMT
    yngstud4mscl saidWhy is it that everytime a post on this site is somewhat ambiguous or goes against the grain, everyone is quick to come to a conclusion about the dude who wrote the topic?

    "I love this guy but he's getting out of shape and it's ruining our sex. What do I do..."

    Response: "You are so shallow, you don't love him, you're an inconsiderate bastard... blah blah blah."

    WTF??

    I thought that posts on here were to help people through tough situations and encourage others to try and help, not verbally rape them and condemn them to being an awful person.

    Maybe I'm wrong... then I guess I'll have to take every gay person on this site at face value also.


    Probably because everybody is tired of the no pic first post my life is in dire jeopardy drama then we never see them again until the next day when a different no pic first post my life is in dire jeopardy happens. Rinse. Repeat.

    Even if it isn't the first post the lack of a pic is annoying and probably in peoples minds just lump them all together as the same poster. A few here don't have a pic of themselves but they have something that we can look at and say 'that's the guy from the other thread that posted." That's why when I updated my pictures I took the same exact pose as the arm shot I had originally and exchanged it for my main.
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    Mar 12, 2009 9:03 PM GMT
    I'm not sure what profile pictures has to do with this.. but I agree with what you're getting at yngstud4mscl. I tend to go by the ol' golden rule.. "If you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all." Of course.. Just like _dude_ mentioned.. honesty, and criticism do have their place.

    I was actually going to reply to the thread you mentioned. But I couldn't find a way to word my opinion on the situation without (most likely) getting flamed by the other posters myself.

    To the people who DO post flames.. When you guys come across one of those topics that you consider needless, or dramatic. Just move on, please. icon_confused.gif It'll keep the topic small, and easy to navigate for those of us who do want to be involved.

    icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2009 9:12 PM GMT
    You would be surprised how many times I type a reply and do not hit submit.
  • Timbales

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    Mar 12, 2009 10:57 PM GMT
    It's not just this site. People have been using the internet to vent out the frustrations that can't in real life since the internet began.
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    Mar 12, 2009 11:04 PM GMT
    Timberoo saidIt's not just this site. People have been using the internet to vent out the frustrations that can't in real life since the internet began.


    true that... and also whenever people describe themselves, upfront, as "blunt and to the point" it means totally sociopathic and unable to interact normally.
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    Mar 12, 2009 11:41 PM GMT
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  • Timbales

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    Mar 12, 2009 11:49 PM GMT
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 13, 2009 12:11 AM GMT
    jprichva said
    Lostboy said . and also whenever people describe themselves, upfront, as "blunt and to the point" it means totally sociopathic and unable to interact normally.

    Finally!
    I'm not sure it's sociopathy so much as narcissism. But I agree in principle.
    Maybe extreme narcissism IS a variety of sociopathy......


    I was playing around on the basis of the following definition

    " It is defined by the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual: "The essential feature for the diagnosis is a pervasive pattern of disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others that begins in childhood or early adolescence and continues into adulthood.""


    In other words, my own needs to do what I consider to be "plain talking" totally squash any considerations about you and how you might be affected by my behaviour. And in fact I will use my "plain talking" to offend and troll and then accuse others of being too sensitive blablabla....


  • styrgan

    Posts: 2017

    Mar 13, 2009 12:19 AM GMT
    What's the phrase in politics??

    If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen...

    No one should really take any of the forums too seriously... We are all really quite limited.
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    Mar 13, 2009 12:27 AM GMT
    growingbig saidYou would be surprised how many times I type a reply and do not hit submit.


    Thanks for doing us all a favor......
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 13, 2009 3:42 AM GMT
    Timberoo saidIt's not just this site. People have been using the internet to vent out the frustrations that can't in real life since the internet began.


    I know that because this is the web... I can be a little more confident in debate and assurence, but theres a difference between constructive criticism and plain rudeness...
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    Mar 13, 2009 3:50 AM GMT
    d4orce said
    growingbig saidYou would be surprised how many times I type a reply and do not hit submit.


    Thanks for doing us all a favor......


    Haha wow...
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    Mar 13, 2009 3:55 AM GMT
    animanimus said
    maybe it is you who assume that the responder actually read what you wrote in the first place.

    it might not be your delivery at all. sometimes someone responding might have just focused on two of your words without ever having read the entire sentence or the paragraph which made up the thought.

    sometimes people don't talk to each other. instead they talk at each other.


    Exactly. I admit, I'm not perfect in understanding some situations, but when that happens, I don't make haste remarks or false assumptions.
    I guess being a math major, and being around proofs all the time... It often gets you into big trouble when you assume something that isn't true (unless proving a condradiction of course). So I live by that.