Any time wasted you regret.

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    Mar 15, 2009 8:10 AM GMT
    Hey Guys,

    I have been learning Mandarin lately, and noticed that my class shrunk from a class of 60 people to a class of 22 people. I wonder why did so many people take the class then gave up? It made me wonder why so many people are wasting their time. I get upset when I’m giving my time to a person who does not respect it. Or when I’m working overtime and it really doesn’t make much of a difference on my check. I totally regret giving up the time. What time do you regret wasting?
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    Mar 15, 2009 8:11 AM GMT
    Wo xiang shui jiao!
  • baldone

    Posts: 826

    Mar 15, 2009 1:17 PM GMT
    while i can't say that it was time wasted as i have 2 beautiful adult children now, but i was married for 30 years, kept myself closeted for all that time and finally could not take it anymore.....stressed, financial and emotional wreck, came out to her 3 years ago, divorced last year bankruptcy and loss of a house and now at 57 where do i go.......57 is dead in gay years so i hear....so while not wasted but still ..........
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    Mar 15, 2009 2:07 PM GMT
    I wish I hadn't wasted so much time on the internet telling complete strangers what I thought about topics that don't matter.
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    Mar 15, 2009 2:49 PM GMT
    I don't dwell on it, but if I had to have a regret about time invested in something that was fruitless and didn't work out, it would be the time I spent trying to make friends out of a couple of born-agains. These two guys were on my H20-polo team - I admired them for living clean and being good guys. I befriended them, got them jobs at Hewlett-Packard after graduation - got them good apartments in my building - helped make sure they got to see the best parts of California - in short I spent good time and money on them. What I got back for the most part, was increasingly judgmental, pious, ingratitude and a lot of lectures about why I wouldn't straighten up and join the Assembly of God church.

    I spent good time - a couple of years - on those two guys. I would like to have spent that time doing just about anything else!
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    Mar 15, 2009 2:58 PM GMT
    I wish I spent more time in high school talking to someone about my homosexuality instead of ignoring it and rechannelling my pent up frustrations being a jerk. Of course, in the 1970's Midwest, there weren't many one could talk to.
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    Mar 15, 2009 3:00 PM GMT
    baldone saidwhile i can't say that it was time wasted as i have 2 beautiful adult children now, but i was married for 30 years, kept myself closeted for all that time and finally could not take it anymore.....stressed, financial and emotional wreck, came out to her 3 years ago, divorced last year bankruptcy and loss of a house and now at 57 where do i go.......57 is dead in gay years so i hear....so while not wasted but still ..........


    I have to say that living in Palms Springs has taught me that this is a myth. There are a lot of active, available, and hot guys in their 50's and 60's here.
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    Mar 15, 2009 3:31 PM GMT
    silkrock saidHey Guys,

    I have been learning Mandarin lately, and noticed that my class shrunk from a class of 60 people to a class of 22 people. I wonder why did so many people take the class then gave up? It made me wonder why so many people are wasting their time. I get upset when I’m giving my time to a person who does not respect it. Or when I’m working overtime and it really doesn’t make much of a difference on my check. I totally regret giving up the time. What time do you regret wasting?


    The time I spent pining over one of my professors
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    Mar 15, 2009 4:48 PM GMT
    I regret nothing.


    I've made mistakes in the past, and sure i have dwelled on them for a while, but i hopefully have learnt and put what i found into pratice.

    Will i make more mistakes or the same mistakes in the future, probably, but hopefully i will be stronger to deal with them and be able to spot them before they happen.


    Dwelling on the past and thinking what could of should of would of, well what are you doing? looking down rather than up and forward.

    Let go of what you can't control, what you can't change and move towards what you can achieve.

    sometimes i literall write out what i need to really listen to myself


    Regret something only leads to MORE wasted time.


    icon_biggrin.gif Go forth and multiply,,,,,,erm have no....have fun.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 15, 2009 5:33 PM GMT
    The only thing I regret is spending so long being upset over a relationship that is over... Now, I often wonder what the hell I was thinking.
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    Mar 15, 2009 5:36 PM GMT
    All the time I spend on RJ, mindlessly looking at topics is a slight regret. Though it does give me more inspiration to hit the gym. Mixed bag really.
  • Rookz

    Posts: 947

    Mar 15, 2009 5:40 PM GMT
    That's the funny thing about getting older, you learn to let go of such resentment.

    Or is it due to wisdom and maturity?

    Either way, it's just you have to realize to stop kicking yourself in the butt and say, "that's the best I could do at that time." Give yourself credit for what you were able to accomplish. There is something to learn from the experience even though you may look at it as time wasted. From the lesson learned is knowledge which you will use for another experience that'll come up in life.

    Unless you're a total dunderhead and make the same mistake and or waste of time, that's your fault.
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    Mar 15, 2009 5:40 PM GMT
    My youth

    My first everything was at 26 and now i feel like it is too late.
  • Rookz

    Posts: 947

    Mar 15, 2009 5:42 PM GMT
    Mrod79 saidMy youth

    My first everything was at 26 and now i feel like it is too late.


    It's never too late, too late is when you're lying in bed dying and regretting what you could have done. You're still able to do them now.
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    Mar 15, 2009 7:50 PM GMT
    Every time I think about regretting something I think about the people and experiences I have had which I wouldn't have. So I can't say I regret anything.

    Okay, maybe too much online gaming.
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    Mar 15, 2009 7:54 PM GMT
    Looking back on my teen years and early 20s there were times I was depressed and lonely, not fitting in, etc.. Typcial closeted gay young man angst. Was that a waste of time? In some ways yes, but I did learn a lot about myself. It was not easy but self-knowledge to me is a critical life skill to obtain.
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    Mar 15, 2009 7:56 PM GMT
    As some have said, everything translate into experience. You have to fall lots of times if you want to learn how to stand up.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Mar 15, 2009 7:57 PM GMT
    I think its easy to work on developing a friendship with someone online, then after time, effort and expense, discover that they really aren't someone that you want as a friend.... maybe they have other ideas or you are not on the same wavelength.

    Then I realize that its a part of growing..its an experience in life and hopefully you can come away by learning something that will help next time.
    It doesn't have to be online, it can be any sort of experience.

    Jockbod48 said:


    I don't dwell on it, but if I had to have a regret about time invested in something that was fruitless and didn't work out, it would be the time I spent trying to make friends out of a couple of born-agains. These two guys were on my H20-polo team - I admired them for living clean and being good guys. I befriended them, got them jobs at Hewlett-Packard after graduation - got them good apartments in my building - helped make sure they got to see the best parts of California - in short I spent good time and money on them. What I got back for the most part, was increasingly judgmental, pious, ingratitude and a lot of lectures about why I wouldn't straighten up and join the Assembly of God church.


    I can understand this... but again the experience, the growth from this experience..... it wasn't in vain.
  • Freddo

    Posts: 246

    Mar 15, 2009 9:06 PM GMT
    Mrod79 saidMy youth

    My first everything was at 26 and now i feel like it is too late.


    I first came out to myself at 26 as well. I do wish I had spent more time appreciating who I really was.

    However, you shouldn't worry about it being too late. You are still young (and very hot). Enjoy yourself, age is just a number.
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    Mar 15, 2009 10:45 PM GMT
    It's hard to say I regret anything. I'm happy where I'm at right now. If I had done something differently in the past, I may be in a totally different situation. And of course that could be a bad thing. icon_lol.gif
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    Mar 15, 2009 10:52 PM GMT
    Regret is not something to feel sorry about. It's a lesson we must learn. Just to show us how valuable and fleeting our time is. That why we gotta commit ourselves to living a positive life that we can be proud of. So when it's all said and done. Remembering it will make us happy. In the end all we are left with is our memories.
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    Mar 15, 2009 11:36 PM GMT
    Regrets:

    1. Working 70-90hr work weeks for the first five years after graduating. It bought me the financial security I wanted but I lost more than half of my 20's.

    2. Further to the aforementioned, missing out on all the parties and sexual escapades when I had the drive and desire.

    3. Feeding my sister simulated hamster chocolates that looked like chocolate rosebuds. Well...maybe noticon_smile.gif

    Goals:

    1. To be living near the ocean in the next 10years.
    2. To learn how to play piano.
    3. To learn french.
    4. To meet/sing with Cher, it's my guilty pleasure. I've come close.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 15, 2009 11:46 PM GMT
    I only regret not coming out until my junior year of college. I made some fantastic friends my last year of college at my school's gay community. I wish I could have had more time with them
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    Mar 16, 2009 12:39 AM GMT
    Jockbod48 saidI don't dwell on it, but if I had to have a regret about time invested in something that was fruitless and didn't work out, it would be the time I spent trying to make friends out of a couple of born-agains. These two guys were on my H20-polo team - I admired them for living clean and being good guys. I befriended them, got them jobs at Hewlett-Packard after graduation - got them good apartments in my building - helped make sure they got to see the best parts of California - in short I spent good time and money on them. What I got back for the most part, was increasingly judgmental, pious, ingratitude and a lot of lectures about why I wouldn't straighten up and join the Assembly of God church.

    I spent good time - a couple of years - on those two guys. I would like to have spent that time doing just about anything else!



    I have a similar story. In this case, a husband and wife. Born-agains, and they were just great to me for a few years -- until it became clear they couldn't convert me. Then they started treating me like garbage. Worse, by this time, we had some business dealings, so that made things especially messy. What a waste of time, not to mention money. We had been friends for seven years.

    This, along with many other bad experiences with "Christians," has made me very wary of these people, and now a red flag goes up when I have any dealings with them.
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    Mar 16, 2009 2:01 AM GMT
    Dig_For_Fire saidI wish I hadn't wasted so much time on the internet telling complete strangers what I thought about topics that don't matter.


    *nod*
    Same here. It'll probably be my downfall come finals time at the end of this semester.