What did being GAY teach you?

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    Mar 16, 2009 9:11 PM GMT
    As weird as it sounds, being gay is the best thing happened to me so far.. it was the seed for lots of depressions and problems, but the adventage is greater:

    It tought me to be tolerated, to rethink about all different discriminations in this world ... and also gave me the motivation to look again at world rules- it's not composed by binary oppositions as the majority think. As in sexuality, nothing in this world is + / - or black / white .. it's a colorful world and we should explore it with our minds, we should try to find out the truth by ourselves, and not the truth that the society built for us .. (now you know why I'm the weirdest weirdo..?)

    Enough of this philosophy already .. What did this experience of being gay, accepting it and going through all that shit tought you ?
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    Mar 16, 2009 10:22 PM GMT

    It redefined for me the concept of normal. Growing up, I bent over backward to be normal until I grew up and realized I was raised in a very dysfuntional family so I wasn't normal anyway. For instance, we were taught never to laugh or cry (these were met with violence): when I got out into the world, I realized being this feelingless thing was very abnormal eventhough it was normal to me. I could empathize though with the majority and realize that it was not normal. Naturally, we were also forced growing up to put god first before everything and basically let circumstances dictate our lives. I scrapped that too, because I've been alive for a long time and the only miracle I've ever felt was the miracle of realizing religion is a crock.

    The rainbow saved my life. I was pleased to be free from my limiting past, but as you might imagine, was overcome with guilt. If it wasn't for the existence of a gay community and the kindness I was shown by those men, maybe I wouldn't be dead, but worse then death, I may have re adopted those old perceptions of normal. Navigating my way through a new homosexual life progressed rather typically: at first, I was hot and thirsty for the scene; next, I realized the scene was as constraining as aspects of my past life; following, I experimented with love beyond the physical, and now I'm realizing I never achieved normalcy during any of it and I never will.

    Even in the gay community, which I have completely accepted as my own, the concept of normal has reared it's ugly head and is constraining people! It's odd to me because gay men have to leave a life that is pressuring them to be one thing. I've found that it is fun to be whattever I feel like I am naturally inclined to be. It's freeing. Naturally, I'm a masculine and rather gruff man (which may be owing to nurture as well), but I enjoy a dichotomy about myself that is not fully embraced right now under this normal fascimile the gay community is adopting. I enjoy very soft and feminine things like flowers and slight breezes. These are parts of me I never could accept because, especially in the black community, what a man is supposed to like and not like are heavily emphasized: flowers and ocean spray are not included.

    Many times I've been told by my sisters (heart) that I shouldn't do a certain thing because it is weird. Hell, I used to scribble sketches of my dream girl all over my school notebooks and now I scribble sketches of my ideal man, nothing is weird to me! Calling something weird makes me remember normal and I'd rather not revisit normal. I buried it and no matter how many times I have to stomp it back down, it's gonna stay buried, atleast in pertenence to me.
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    Mar 16, 2009 10:31 PM GMT
    Exactly .. I tottally agree and understand .. I got throught this whole normal definition too. Normal is something that community define, or the majority ot whatever .. there is no such thing as wrong, right, normal, weird it's all varied and depending on communites, religions, places ..

    Even if there is something called normal I don't want to follow it, it's frustrating and meaningless and most important- boring.. being special is what gives you the strengh to continue ..

    Though, I know how this swimming against the stream will make it harder ..
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    Mar 16, 2009 10:46 PM GMT

    Swimming against the stream, you take your lumps head on (might be able to move the hell out of the way), which is what I prefer. Going with it however, you hardly ever see it coming, because you're doing what's "right", you still get plowed, except it's sneakier and from behind. icon_wink.gif
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    Mar 16, 2009 10:57 PM GMT
    GuiltyGear said
    Swimming against the stream, you take your lumps head on (might be able to move the hell out of the way), which is what I prefer. Going with it however, you hardly ever see it coming, because you're doing what's "right", you still get plowed, except it's sneakier and from behind. icon_wink.gif


    Nice theory ..

    It's just me and you in one thread ... talking about life.. can it be more intimate ? icon_rolleyes.gif

    RJs appear to be too busy to think deeply into their lives or post / read.. maybe I should call this thread "what did being gay teach the guy above you?" icon_lol.gif then it may attract more turists ..
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    Mar 16, 2009 11:01 PM GMT
    I'll crash your party, Ghostic. Being gay (or coming out, more specifically) has taught me to always be truthful to myself and that if you're tough enough, there's not much you can't get through.
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    Mar 16, 2009 11:04 PM GMT
    zdrew saidI'll crash your party, Ghostic. Being gay (or coming out, more specifically) has taught me to always be truthful to myself and that if you're tough enough, there's not much you can't get through.


    Can't you see we're busy here ???!!! icon_evil.gif

    JK .. you're welcome ..

    you're making a good point here.
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    Mar 16, 2009 11:18 PM GMT
    I'd say, meeting others that have had many experiences like mine, (not sexual) in the "growing up gay" life. Many years I tried and tried to "perform" as my family and friends expected me to do being a hetro man. Once I started to meet other gays, (men and women) let me know that we are all alike in many many ways as we are also different. Is this making any sense? I have learned to be more tolerant w/others, (other gays) that I may not see eye to eye with or understand. I may not understand or be able to relate to the typical drag queen sitting at the table next to me at the restaurant butt will stick up for them to have the right to do it. I guess that's it in a nutt shell...
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    Mar 16, 2009 11:20 PM GMT
    GHoSTic saidAs weird as it sounds, being gay is the best thing happened to me so far.. it was the seed for lots of depressions and problems, but the adventage is greater:

    It tought me to be tolerated, to rethink about all different discriminations in this world ... and also gave me the motivation to look again at world rules- it's not composed by binary oppositions as the majority think. As in sexuality, nothing in this world is + / - or black / white .. it's a colorful world and we should explore it with our minds, we should try to find out the truth by ourselves, and not the truth that the society built for us .. (now you know why I'm the weirdest weirdo..?)

    Enough of this philosophy already .. What did this experience of being gay, accepting it and going through all that shit tought you ?


    That you have to love yourself and do what you think is best for you

    Gay is a misnomer
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    Mar 16, 2009 11:22 PM GMT
    It teaches me to be tough, to be informative, to be more tolerant, to be engaged in political process and to fuck nice tight ass.
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    Mar 16, 2009 11:23 PM GMT
    That it's NOT okay to wear a brown belt with black shoes.
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    Mar 16, 2009 11:36 PM GMT
    i know im still young but its taught me not to give a flying fuck what other people think about you
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    Mar 16, 2009 11:56 PM GMT
    Not applicable.
  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9190

    Mar 17, 2009 12:06 AM GMT
    It taught me that I am an eye-witness to the fact that the Bible is inaccurate and so is the Catholic Church.
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    Mar 17, 2009 12:11 AM GMT
    GHoSTic said

    It's just me and you in one thread ... talking about life.. can it be more intimate ? icon_rolleyes.gif



    LOL, it was kinda like chat for a minute there, before Z-Rude swooped in and ruined it! lol.



  • baldone

    Posts: 826

    Mar 17, 2009 12:47 AM GMT
    what has being gay taught me...well at the ripe age of 57, divorce year ago, bankruptcy, foreclosure on my home, has taught me that nothing will stand in the way of finally living in truth and not hiding or lying anymore...the closet is a very lonely place and while its only been a year since being totally out and still very lonely i finally live in truth, know who i am and know what purpose i am supposed to serve in the life.....now just to share with someone else all the love that is pent up inside me.....will know true hapiness for the first time in a very long time
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    Mar 17, 2009 1:11 AM GMT
    zdrew saidI'll crash your party, Ghostic. Being gay (or coming out, more specifically) has taught me to always be truthful to myself and that if you're tough enough, there's not much you can't get through.


    AMEN!
  • pelotudo87

    Posts: 225

    Mar 17, 2009 1:27 AM GMT
    To think for myself, and to go along with tradition. Sometimes tradition is good, but sometimes you gotta break tradition/expecations/norms to do what is best for you, society, etc.

    If you can't be totally honest with friends, it's not worth having them in your life.

    The only person you can truly always count on is you--sad but true.

    To be VERY analytical about everything. Especially about men and women. and ive come to the conclusion that men are shallow, gay or straight--its just that the straight ones have more of societal norms to conform to, and they are kept in line by the girls too, lol
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    Mar 17, 2009 1:36 AM GMT
    How pathetic and useless religion can be sometimes
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    Mar 17, 2009 1:42 AM GMT
    I wouldn't change my sexuality if I could, because it's taught me to the view the world from a larger perspective, to ask the tough questions, to question the customary and conventional. Most of all, for me it's about being true to yourself. After you live a lie for awhile, the day eventually comes where you can't do it anymore and you would rather take the chance of losing friends or being alienated from family then continuing to live a lie. It's given me a deep appreciation for and even longing for what is real. I try to be real with myself about it all, sometimes even to the point of being a bit brutal with myself. Having been through the process I try to be tolerant of others who aren't to the place in their lives yet of being real but it's hard. Everywhere you look, it's people selling their story and playing their roles. They might even believe themselves to be free spirits or nonconformists, but they're hanging out with a group of nonconformists all avoiding conforming the same way. The one thing I keep looking for and not finding is something real.
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    Mar 17, 2009 1:42 AM GMT
    How scared people are of things they don't understand.
  • drakutis

    Posts: 586

    Mar 17, 2009 1:51 AM GMT
    That I can do MANY MANY MANY things with an ERECT PENIS!!
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    Mar 17, 2009 2:07 AM GMT
    How to rechannel an oral fixation into something more productive.
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    Mar 17, 2009 2:25 AM GMT
    drakutis saidThat I can do MANY MANY MANY things with an ERECT PENIS!!
    icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif yes its like those erector sets icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

    Erector_Set_Ad_1922.JPG
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    Mar 17, 2009 2:28 AM GMT
    That there are labels/stereotypes you have to break and this exist within the gay community as well and that being being Gay is both a blessing and a curse...and that everyday is a learning experience...