Going on holiday WITHOUT the boyfriend

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 17, 2009 3:44 PM GMT
    Good idea or bad idea?
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    Mar 17, 2009 5:45 PM GMT
    Good idea sometimes you need just the friends with you.
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    Mar 17, 2009 5:49 PM GMT
    never understood the concept. i've been with my partner for over 11 years, and it wouldn't be a holiday without him.
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    Mar 17, 2009 5:54 PM GMT
    hmm, going on vacation without the partner. I thought the reason to have a partner or husband was to have someone witness you life, both the big and little accomplishments and trials.

    Why on earth (ecepct to f**k around on him) would you want to leave him at home.
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    Mar 17, 2009 5:59 PM GMT
    I'm not going to judge you based on your OP because it depends on the couple. I know many couples that take time apart. There's nothing wrong with it as long as you are both on the same page.

    Personally, I couldn't do it. I've been with my ball and chain for so long that I'd likely miss him as soon as I walked out the door.
  • Timbales

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    Mar 17, 2009 6:00 PM GMT
    I can see it.
  • MSUBioNerd

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    Mar 17, 2009 6:02 PM GMT
    It depends entirely on your individual relationship. Sometimes the two members of a couple have extremely different tastes in what they find relaxing and a fun vacation. One might want to spend a week in a cabin in the woods, hiking and fishing and reading, while the other might want to spend that time in Las Vegas, going to shows and fancy dinners and gambling. There's nothing inherently wrong with taking separate vacations, nor is it necessarily a sign that one of you wants to step out.
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    Mar 17, 2009 6:02 PM GMT
    I did it a couple of times, with his permission. I rode my motorcycle to Sturgis, South Dakota, for the annual rally over several days, and offered to take him. Held no interest for him, so I went alone, and didn't play around. Other than that, we always took trips together.
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    Mar 17, 2009 6:22 PM GMT
    I think it depends on how established the relationship is and what your comfort zones are as a couple. I can think of times it would be acceptable -- boyfriend wants to go see old friends but you don't necessarily see a reason to be there, family visits, etc. If I were to go on a trip that I really want to go on -- but know my boyfriend won't be interested in -- I'd still ask him all the same, and let it be his choice not to go. I can think of a few times either me or my boyfriend have gone on separate trips for those reasons, but they're rare. If there's a reason specifically that you don't want him there, that's okay too -- but you need to communicate that reason so as not to create tension or hurt feelings.
  • Rookz

    Posts: 947

    Mar 17, 2009 6:31 PM GMT
    Just communicate that with your man, you do communicate right?

    A conversation that you'd like to go on holiday by yourself, that your intent is so and so and by no ways you're going to do anything to hurt your relationship.

    This is what I said to my boyfriend as a joke,

    "J, I'm gonna do my thang and go out. You're lame ass bitch self can stay here for I'll be GONE on vacation by myself. I ain't gonna be ho'ing around like you think I'm this big ho!"

    Him,

    "Randy, I know you grew up mostly in Oakland but you're not THAT ghetto and one more thing..." Smacks me upside the head.
    "Have a good time, ya idiot..."

    "Ow... thank you baby."

    You can see how much we love one another.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 17, 2009 6:37 PM GMT
    Depends on the couple. I personally would not want to do it, but I know some couples that do not seem to have issues.
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    Mar 17, 2009 6:45 PM GMT
    Why not? I know that I, personally, need alone time (I have hermit tendencies at times), and I've always loved going off for a few days or a week by myself to just do whatever I want, without having to deal with others' needs. Whether that be going hiking alone for a few days, or taking myself a road trip mostly for the serenity of the drive, it's good for me.

    But then, that's me. I think this is a question that's entirely dependent on the person and the relationship (though I'd severely question a guy who didn't allow me alone time--I need it).
  • Latenight30

    Posts: 1525

    Mar 17, 2009 7:22 PM GMT
    I think we might be a special case. He is a flight attendant and I have a tendencey to work upto 16hrs a day on productions, so time apart is kind of buit into our lives. I go see my folks without him but I wouldn't go on a vacay with friend and he not be there.
  • DuggerPDX

    Posts: 386

    Mar 17, 2009 7:38 PM GMT
    I often travel without my partner of 15 years. I have a core group of friends that he just isn't comfortable with, he's in recovery, and I like to let loose every once and awhile (I should mention they are all straight). We meet up in various spots around the country, next it will be Barcelona.

    I think it's healthy to be able to do things apart and NOT resent the other person for the fun they are having. I will say that I used to travel a lot for business so he is used to me being gone, and he is not that comfortable traveling without me, so it's kind of one sided for us.

    My partner and I do travel together quite a bit as well, we both have a real passion for exploring, so it's not like I only travel without him.
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    Mar 17, 2009 7:54 PM GMT
    My bf travels a lot on business, so we're used to coping with being apart for short periods of time. He also happens to hate one of my favorite weekend getaways -- New Orleans -- so I sometimes go by myself. If the two of you are comfortable with the idea, it makes sense for one of you to go and enjoy something without forcing an unwelcome ordeal on the other.
  • calipally

    Posts: 246

    Mar 17, 2009 8:03 PM GMT
    Depends on the couple, but I also believe that some space is healthy for a relationship. I have a close friend that spends about every waking moment with his bf and I can't stand being around them for too long because they bicker CONSTANTLY and they don't see anything wrong with it. They also have blurred the distinction between one and the other.

    Those types of relationships, in my opinion, aren't all that healthy.
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    Mar 17, 2009 8:19 PM GMT
    TexDef07 saidMy bf travels a lot on business, so we're used to coping with being apart for short periods of time. He also happens to hate one of my favorite weekend getaways -- New Orleans -- so I sometimes go by myself. If the two of you are comfortable with the idea, it makes sense for one of you to go and enjoy something without forcing an unwelcome ordeal on the other.

    In my opinion, this is the mark of a sophisticated and secure couple. As I wrote above, I'd ride my motorcycle to the Sturgis rally alone, because it wasn't of interest to him. I offered, but he declined, yet he didn't object to my going by myself. Are we not big boys, and trust our loving partners? And want them to do the things they want to do, even when we don't ourselves? 'Nuff said...
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    Mar 17, 2009 9:04 PM GMT
    Depends on the strength of your relationship. Remember what happens on the holiday, stays on the holidayicon_wink.gif

    Just because you are in a relationship, does not mean you sees too be and individual, and you do things on your own, or with other. You do not become siamese twins.
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    Mar 17, 2009 9:27 PM GMT
    WWOD?
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    Mar 17, 2009 10:46 PM GMT
    Depends on the length we had been dating.
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    Mar 17, 2009 10:53 PM GMT

    redheadguy saidGood idea or bad idea?


    If it's you, BAD IDEA! icon_smile.gificon_lol.gificon_mad.gificon_neutral.gif
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    Mar 18, 2009 8:09 AM GMT
    Thanks GG, you know you're right.

    My bf has just started a new job and won't have saved up any holiday until the end of this year.

    So, I'm going away with a couple of friends to Gran Canaria. He knows what I'm like...
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    Mar 19, 2009 8:50 PM GMT
    My bf goes away with his mother and i'm ok with it. He would get 5 weeks I got 2 weeks off. I didn't want her to come with us so i let him go alone. Trust is a two way street. You both have to trust each other. good idea
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    Mar 19, 2009 8:52 PM GMT
    redheadguy saidGood idea or bad idea?


    Dpends- I've done it when my bf and i were together and that's because he didn't want to go. Didn't see why that should hinder me
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    Mar 24, 2009 2:58 AM GMT
    Why would I want to spend any holiday away from my boyfriend? I dont even think I would enjoy myself if he wasnt there.