Wanting to help people...

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    Mar 17, 2009 10:48 PM GMT
    I have always had always this feeling inside that made me want to help people in need. When I was a kid I wanted to be a superhero to save innocents, and now I feel like I just want to make everyone feel a little happier in their lives.

    However I get told by many people older than me that the feeling of wanting to help people is a waste of time, and you will get over it when you get older because it will just lead to disappointment in your life.... Is that true? Is the feeling of wanting to help.... well anyone no matter who they are an immature one?
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    Mar 18, 2009 12:00 AM GMT
    What's stopping you from helping others? There are lots of ways you can help by volunteering your time and/or donating money to charitable organizations.

    If you're talking about helping an individual, then that might a different story. It's a bit cliche to say this, but some people can't be helped. Mainly because they don't want to be helped. The more time/effort you spend with these types of people, the more frustrated and disappointed you will be.
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    Mar 18, 2009 12:06 AM GMT
    Yep, I echo the thought of what's stopping you?
    But if you want to help others to get rewarded you might burn out fast. Being able to help others should be all the reward you need, then you'll never grow out of wanting to help others.
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    Mar 18, 2009 12:10 AM GMT
    BJJMMAFighter saidI have always had always this feeling inside that made me want to help people in need. When I was a kid I wanted to be a superhero to save innocents, and now I feel like I just want to make everyone feel a little happier in their lives.

    However I get told by many people older than me that the feeling of wanting to help people is a waste of time, and you will get over it when you get older because it will just lead to disappointment in your life.... Is that true? Is the feeling of wanting to help.... well anyone no matter who they are an immature one?


    No, if anything my desire to help people has gotten stronger as I have gotten older. My almost 82 year old Uncle still goes to Ecuador every year to work at a medical clinic. He also works once a week at a nursing home, and every month at a Salvation Army rehab facility for recovering alcoholics. My brother is planning on going to Uganda next month to volunteer at a medical clinic.

    In my extended family focusing on making money and consuming has never been a priority. Doctors, nurses, teachers and preachers dominate the family tree. Blame it on genetics.
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    Mar 18, 2009 12:28 AM GMT
    BJJMMAFighter saidI have always had always this feeling inside that made me want to help people in need. When I was a kid I wanted to be a superhero to save innocents, and now I feel like I just want to make everyone feel a little happier in their lives.

    However I get told by many people older than me that the feeling of wanting to help people is a waste of time, and you will get over it when you get older because it will just lead to disappointment in your life.... Is that true? Is the feeling of wanting to help.... well anyone no matter who they are an immature one?


    No it is not an immature one. It is quite commendable of you.

    Those people who told you that you will get over it should jump into the sea with lead weights. Preferably in shark infested waters
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    Mar 18, 2009 12:34 AM GMT
    BJJMMAFighter saidI...Is the feeling of wanting to help.... well anyone no matter who they are an immature one?

    Quite frankly I don't understand this question. My partner & I spend most of our free time, and a lot of our money, helping others. Some of our friends spend much more than we can. I'd be hard-pressed to think of any of our friends who don't contribute in some way to charitable causes, all of them gay-related.

    I'm unable to believe that any "older" people, if they are gay, are telling you that helping others is "a waste of time." Are you making this up? It doesn't sound true to me.
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    Mar 18, 2009 12:41 AM GMT
    well its not that I am not helping people.... For example when last year I was thinking of about maybe being a psychologist because mine helped me so much and I wanted to be able to help people. And when i told people that I did get men mostly who said it was a dumb reason to want to become one because of that and they would give me this reasoning that I would never be happy because I could never really help those people
  • EricLA

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    Mar 18, 2009 12:45 AM GMT
    Usually the desire to help someone comes from a selfish (not in a bad way) desire -- that you receive self-affirmation by helping others. So, find some cause to volunteer your time to, like a hospital, or any non-profit. A lot of non-profits (including a lot of lgbt organizations, local and national) have been laying off staff -- they need help now more than ever.

    So if "older" people you know tell you it's a waste of time, that's fine for them. But if you get something out of it, that's great. There need to be more people like you, not fewer. So go out there and help someone!
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    Mar 18, 2009 12:45 AM GMT
    Red_Vespa said
    BJJMMAFighter saidI...Is the feeling of wanting to help.... well anyone no matter who they are an immature one?

    Quite frankly I don't understand this question. My partner & I spend most of our free time, and a lot of our money, helping others. Some of our friends spend much more than we can. I'd be hard-pressed to think of any of our friends who don't contribute in some way to charitable causes, all of them gay-related.

    I'm unable to believe that any "older" people, if they are gay, are telling you that helping others is "a waste of time." Are you making this up? It doesn't sound true to me.




    Yeah its true and no they weren't gay... but I just get get these looks from people and sometimes they even tell me something along those lines when I tell them I want to do something big with my life that will help as many people as I can.... even though I am not sure what that is yet. exactly.

    Oh and I do small stuff on my own but I was talking about on a larger scale...


    I dont know maybe im not putting my point across.... I might be making myself look stupid here
  • HndsmKansan

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    Mar 18, 2009 12:51 AM GMT
    BJJMMAFighter saidI have always had always this feeling inside that made me want to help people in need. When I was a kid I wanted to be a superhero to save innocents, and now I feel like I just want to make everyone feel a little happier in their lives.

    However I get told by many people older than me that the feeling of wanting to help people is a waste of time, and you will get over it when you get older



    I APPLAUDE YOU!! I'm glad there are still people out there that think that way. No.. I hope you don't get over it. I think it is all important.. your feelings represent the good side of humanity... I hope it never goes away!

    Just remember, not to expect anything back, except the good feelings from inside, knowing what a really good and wonderful guy you indeed must be.
    Others will notice and want to be like you.... congrats for that and taking the time to share that aspect of your personality. I just wish there were more like you... and me.
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    Mar 18, 2009 1:26 AM GMT
    Oh man, treasure the fact that you want to help and be kind to people. Whether you are able to do something huge or just lots of little things to help people it will be one of the most rewarding and satisfying parts of your life. It certainly has been for me.

    You’re young, give yourself time - keep doing the small stuff to help people and your larger purpose will show up.
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    Mar 18, 2009 1:30 AM GMT

    Hey BJMMAfighter,


    There's a word for how you feel; it's altruistic.
    Noble stuff. Whatever you do, this will make you good at it.
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    Mar 18, 2009 3:05 AM GMT
    I feel the same way about wanting to help people and I'm about 20 years older than you are BJJMMAFighter. Those people that tell you that it will pass when you get older are part of the problem. Be a solution and help out. A kind word and a good deed can move mountains and you will be remembered for it whether it is by the person you are helping or the people around him/her.

    Even though you don't have superpowers you can be a hero.
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    Mar 18, 2009 3:41 AM GMT
    I truly need a nap now. But some-one is in need of my help. So I'm off for a 40 minute drive though school traffic to get to the Southern Suburbs, to be there for them.

    One of the reasons I have worked in the care field for the past 20 years, is to fulfill this need. But don't do it in expectations of reward, or even appreciation, because you will be let down. yet at the same time, I have received lots of warmth for the things I do too. But I never expect it.



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    Mar 18, 2009 3:43 AM GMT
    I know someone who helps others and he loves it:

    http://www.globalcolors.org
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    Mar 18, 2009 4:04 AM GMT
    BJJMMAFighter saidHowever I get told by many people older than me that the feeling of wanting to help people is a waste of time, and you will get over it when you get older because it will just lead to disappointment in your life.... Is that true? Is the feeling of wanting to help.... well anyone no matter who they are an immature one?
    I think those people are just what you call "jaded". As an "older person" I can say wanting to help other is just a part of my nature. I know a lot of guys however that also have this "rescuer" syndrome like myself. Sometimes you have to ask yourself if you are really being effective in "helping" That's OK as long as you don't give up and have a little faith.

    icon_lol.gif I once saw a quote .. "If at first you don't succeed, try, try, and try again, after that, give up! there is no sense in being a damn fool about it! icon_lol.gif

    I probably would say "If at first you don't succeed, try and try again, after that try something else, and always remember a truly good deed is never truly lost"
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    Mar 18, 2009 6:51 AM GMT
    BJJMMAFighterHowever I get told by many people older than me that the feeling of wanting to help people is a waste of time, and you will get over it when you get older because it will just lead to disappointment in your life.... Is that true? Is the feeling of wanting to help.... well anyone no matter who they are an immature one?



    If you have the desire to help others, do it. You shouldn't let anyone tell you otherwise that helping others will lead into disappointment. You are in control of your life who makes those kinds of decisions to whom you help out. Most of all, not only you help others make them feel a little happier but to provide yourself the satisfaction that you done the good deed. It's almost similar when others giving you good gestures or compliments to you. In the end, you feel good about yourself for who you are and what you have done. So when you grow old and look back, you'll see what you've accomplished in life. Be proud of what you established and be a superhero to them...