Do those words offend you?

  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Oct 19, 2007 9:30 PM GMT
    Faggot, Queer, Bent.

    They offend me.

    You can call me gay or homosexual, but don't ever refer to me as any of the above.

    I just thought to post this after reading what RuggerTX said in his thread on homophobia, where the word faggot was used.

    I notices some gay guys are OK with those words.


    I would love to here your views on this.

    Mike
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 19, 2007 9:49 PM GMT
    It is the intent behind words that give them a power. If they are used with malice, then they offend. On the other hand, words diminish in their power if they are overused. And we may reclaim them.

    There is a rationale to "queer" because "gay" is rather too associated
    with men, and "queer" can fulfil the requirement for any non-heterosexual orientation.

    But Fag, homosexual, poof, etc.... these are all ugly words. Even if we choose to reclaim them, why should we describe ourselves, and our love using words that lack beauty?
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Oct 19, 2007 10:03 PM GMT
    I forgot poof.

    I don't find homosexual to be an ugly word. I mean that is what we are. It may not be a beautiful word, but it does not offend me.

    The word queer (in my opinion) implies that there is something wrong with you. The first time I saw a website with queer in the title, I thought it was a gay bashing site. I was shocked to find out it was not.
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    Oct 19, 2007 10:32 PM GMT
    Homosexual is a word i dislike because it is intented to sound clinical and hence legitimise unacceptable homophobia:

    Contrast the implicit meaning in the following two sentences:
    "I am against homosexual marriage."
    "I am against people who love each other marrying regardless of their gender."

    It harks back to the days when homosexuality was a "disease" to be "treated".
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Oct 19, 2007 10:39 PM GMT
    I'm not a fan of queer. To me it carries connotations of being strange and a political extremism I don't agree with.
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    Oct 19, 2007 10:43 PM GMT
    Self-loathing faggots!
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    Oct 19, 2007 10:47 PM GMT
    I like queer because frankly I find all people a bit queer in terms of quirky, idiosyncratic but lovable. I also don't mind homosexual because it is exact. Or homo for short, as long as you also use hetero. For bisexuals we would need to come up with a new word like "homtero" or "hetmo".

    Poofter and faggot I don't like, and frankly I am not crazy about gay because to me it connotates someone that is not serious at all, is lightweight.
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    Oct 19, 2007 10:48 PM GMT
    Context is king.
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Oct 19, 2007 10:50 PM GMT
    Tiger,

    "I am against homosexual marriage."

    You could use gay there also........ "I am against gay marriage."

    Areo,

    You are getting as bad as McGay icon_smile.gif
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Oct 19, 2007 10:52 PM GMT
    Sorry McGay. Didn't see you there icon_smile.gif
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    Oct 19, 2007 10:59 PM GMT
    MikePhil: There is a subtlety; the clinical nature of "homosexual", absent in the word "gay" tries to dehumanize and depersonalise further.

    I fear that I see the world in too many shades. And yet it seems to me that people are frequently too careless with their language.
  • iHavok

    Posts: 1477

    Oct 19, 2007 10:59 PM GMT
    there isn't a word out there that can change who i am, so i don't care which term you use...most ppl just use what they've grown up with. If a fellow californian referred to someone as "bent" they wouldn't have a clue what it meant... so why stress it?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 19, 2007 11:02 PM GMT
    I actually don't find the words offensive. I commonly use it, as well as friends (both gay and straight), for either descriptive or humorous purposes. Most people I know don't take a politically correct stance when using those terms.

    Yes, it depends how it's delivered, too, and can definitely be offensive when uttered by some closed-minded homophobe. But those words -- fag, faggot, queer, bent, nelly, queen, homo, nancy-boy, dodgy (British) -- seem to be used casually a lot. Just check out one really cool gay movie called Broken Hearts Club (2000); the words are thrown around freely in that film. Of course, not for offensive reasons, but they're words some gay folks feel comfortable using.
  • iHavok

    Posts: 1477

    Oct 19, 2007 11:10 PM GMT
    Everyday at two o'clock at my place of employment, we do what's called "ergonomics." It's an excuse to stand up, stretch and get away from the desk for a moment. It's supposed to help avoid stuff like carpal tunnel and such. It's completely voluntary, and some ppl do it, while others (like yours truly) ignore it.

    I work with someone I hated in high school and continue to hate. He cries at the office when someone points out his mistakes, and will cry when you chide him for playing on the internet, and cry when his bonus isn't big enough because he's been playing on the internet too much. He spends much of his day playing with spread sheets and making cut and paste pictures using paint. Pretty much no work ethic at all.
    He does ergo, and it's his exercise for the entire day. He does it half assed, instead of windmilling his arms in slow circles, he will flop his wrists around. I was in the process of pointing this out to my deskmate when another girl walking by noticed and asked what the hell i was doing (since she coudlnt hear the commentary that accompanied my actions).
    I turned to her as I continued to flop my wrists and explained I was a fairy, so figured I might as well try to fly. It got very quiet in the office for a moment, cause I guess a few of my other neighbors were listening. I busted out laughing, then everyone else did also.
    shrug.
    i just dont see how words can hurt if you are a mature adult...
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Oct 19, 2007 11:16 PM GMT
    I like fairy. It's more ethereal. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Lifeisgood

    Posts: 46

    Oct 19, 2007 11:19 PM GMT
    You can call me anything you want, just don't call me late for dinner.. no that's not right.

    You can call me anyting you want. If you don't know me and I don't know you, it really doesn't matter.

    You can hurt me with words, any words, not just the ones mentioned, if you know me well enough to intend to hurt me.

    A simple word like "hello" can hurt, if said with sarcasm and an intent to hurt.


  • iHavok

    Posts: 1477

    Oct 19, 2007 11:21 PM GMT
    a bitter valley girl Hello can make most men cry.
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Oct 19, 2007 11:24 PM GMT
    I wouldn't mind fairy in a joking manner.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Oct 19, 2007 11:32 PM GMT


    icon_wink.gif
  • Lifeisgood

    Posts: 46

    Oct 19, 2007 11:35 PM GMT
    To: MikePhil

    FAIRY!!!


    icon_smile.gif
  • MSUBioNerd

    Posts: 1813

    Oct 19, 2007 11:41 PM GMT
    The clinical argument is the best one I've heard against homosexual, but it's not sufficient for me. The term is still a generally useful one to deal with both gay men and lesbians.

    Queer I find useful as it also manages to encompass bisexual individuals as well, and probably also transgendered ones.

    And at the risk of annoying people: queer does have a connotation of being unusual. We are unusual. It doesn't mean we're unnatural or anything, but most men are heterosexual. We, who are not, are a minority. There's nothing wrong with being different (atypical, out of the ordinary, whatever other term you want), but there's also nothing wrong with noting that you are. Some ways of saying it are more likely to offend people (abnormal can imply that normal is better, different rarely does), but I don't agree with avoiding mentioning it or it'll become the pink elephant in the room.
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Oct 19, 2007 11:50 PM GMT
    notarealjock,

    Well I guess I asked for that one icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 19, 2007 11:59 PM GMT
    Mikey you very cute but you must get out of your head and relax a lil. I'm sure you've heard about sticks and stones. Do not care bout those who don't agree... We are queer bending faggots.. SO WHAT? Someone is always out to offend...
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16305

    Oct 20, 2007 12:28 AM GMT
    I find some names offensive, especially "faggot" because I (along with some here) grew up knowing the use of that word was to brand someone a "leaper" or
    "one rejected". That was one of my biggest hurdles.
    But we had better be able to take it. Of course anyone who uses the "f" word probably can be construed
    in worse terms.....being a "faggot" isn't bad.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16305

    Oct 20, 2007 12:29 AM GMT
    I never heard "bent" or "poof" before....