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Straight men who sleep with men?

  • DrobUA Posts: 1284
    QUOTE Mar 18, 2009 7:56 AM GMT
    I'm pretty new to the gay community but I have come across quite a few guys that label themselves as straight but like to have sex with other guys... I understand many people are in the closet but these guys are actually convinced they are straight. Am I the only "straight guy" magnet or are there others who have come across these guys? Anyone ask them what is going on in their heads?
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Mar 18, 2009 8:05 AM GMT
    Dude, I'm not gay, I just like sucking dick.

    Most are probably 'closeted' bisexuals. The Kinsey 1's, 2's, 3's, and 4's. Unwilling to be labeled as different and thus cling to the notion that the occasional homosexual attraction is just a weird glitch in their otherwise predominantly heterosexual desires.

    The sadder cases are those who are really gay. Either they wake up and face the fact later (smoothly or with a lot of hearts broken) or they end up repressed and bitter.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Mar 18, 2009 2:35 PM GMT
    Penis in your mouth or but = Homosexual.

    It is not rocket science doesn't matter how you label yourself.

    Peace
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Mar 18, 2009 2:44 PM GMT
    It's not that their turned off by their communities, they're just so damned afraid of being identified as something out of the norm. (imho) "I can't be gay. I mean, look at me! Do I look gay? I don't feel gay. Wait, is that a dick in your pants?"
  • zakariahzol Posts: 2241
    QUOTE Mar 18, 2009 2:45 PM GMT
    I use to say that , I am bi , I just do this because I am confused. Those are all bullshit. I am a cocksucker , no question about it I am gay.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Mar 18, 2009 2:47 PM GMT
    I think its something a lot of young guys do before they're really ready to identify with their gay identity. I know I didn't want to be gay and identified as straight. When I was 20, I realized that if I really wanted to be happy, then I needed to just come out and accept who I was. I think some of these boys you are describing who you meet are probably struggling with this themselves.

    You should be happy that you've gotten over this at such an early age! Don't worry about it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Mar 18, 2009 2:54 PM GMT
    i know some straight dudes that prefer some live penis instead of dildo in their butts. kinda makes sense, and doesn't make them gay in my opinion. usually, these are the kinds that together with their gf's/wives are looking for a man to play with (some women like to watch their men being dominated). i also know a few "hippies" that sleep with "anyone" without attaching labels (always thought it's kinda ironic, but from where i stand, they are essentially straight).
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Mar 18, 2009 2:58 PM GMT
    It doesn't matter how one labels oneself. If you have sexual relations with (a) member(s) of the same sex, you are either bisexual or you are homosexual. Labelling oneself in any manner does not make something so. A dwarf who thinks he's tall is not tall, he is a dwarf. A guy who sucks dick or likes his dick sucked by another guy is as far from heterosexual as is an amoeba.
  • Timbales Posts: 13814
    QUOTE Mar 18, 2009 3:08 PM GMT
    Do you like it when someone tries to label you? If not, you shouldn't try to label someone else. If you don't want to be with a guy who doesn't identify as gay, then don't be with him.
  • DrobUA Posts: 1284
    QUOTE Mar 18, 2009 3:53 PM GMT
    jprichva saidWell, it could be that these are gay men who are so turned off by their own community that they have to pretend to be straight, but condemn themselves to a lifetime of sneaking around rather than deciding to be honest and learning what they have in common with their gay brethren instead of recoiling from them in horror. Some of them might even have 3-month affairs with women to prove the point.


    Haha you really think you know me.. you are 180 degrees in the wrong direction. I came out as gay when I was 18. I have not been "sneaking around" with guys because I am ashamed of who I am. If anything it is the opposite. (sneaking around with women and still being labeled gay) You think that because someone isn't exactly like you that it must be an act but the fact is everyone is different.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Mar 18, 2009 3:55 PM GMT
    As odd as it may seem, there is a growing body of evidence that straight men may have sex with men without being bi or closeted gay according to Joe Kort.
    Joe Kort is a sex therapist who happens to be gay.

    His blog is called "Straight Guise" Read the blog and see if you agree or disagree with him.
    .
    http://straightguise.blogspot.com/2007/07/what-is-straight-guise.html
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Mar 18, 2009 3:58 PM GMT
    No I get this too. I noticed however that I got more guy like this hitting on me when I first came out, but I get guys from the gym that will facebook me.. one found me on here..

    This one dude use to watch me when I was running on the treadmill said he liked my ass.. But it was creepy because I didn't know what he looked like and he wouldn't show me any pics for fear of being outed..
  • swimbikerun Posts: 2835
    QUOTE Mar 18, 2009 4:02 PM GMT
    DrobUA saidI'm pretty new to the gay community but I have come across quite a few guys that label themselves as straight but like to have sex with other guys... I understand many people are in the closet but these guys are actually convinced they are straight. Am I the only "straight guy" magnet or are there others who have come across these guys? Anyone ask them what is going on in their heads?
    You could do an entire doctoral thesis on this kind of subject. I've never understood the disconnect people have between their outward personalities and their desires. It was most striking when I met a young guy who was adamant he was straight while we were literally having sex. Don't spend too much time trying to figure out what's going as...they are the last to understand as strange as it may seem. I personally try to meet up with openly, gay single guys. It makes it much easier to relax!

    And besides, you're a "magnet" 'cause you're a cute lil' dumpling!
  • UncleverName Posts: 741
    QUOTE Mar 18, 2009 4:11 PM GMT
    Timberoo saidDo you like it when someone tries to label you? If not, you shouldn't try to label someone else. If you don't want to be with a guy who doesn't identify as gay, then don't be with him.


    this.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Mar 18, 2009 4:22 PM GMT
    Wathc the Tyra Banks episode about "gay for pay".. straight people who work in gay porn ..
    I don't belive it, someone who has the guts to sexually touch a man, even if it's under the label of "job" , is certainly Bi-sexual.. I don't belive them, they think they can have the joy of gay sex and the joy of not being discriminated against.. well, you can't have both, it's rude and selfish ..
  • withHonor Posts: 947
    QUOTE Mar 18, 2009 4:24 PM GMT
    Those straight guys are just confused, if you get turned on by dick as well as vagina, they you have to be bi. Those guys just prefer women over men more but won't admit the fact about who they are.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Mar 18, 2009 4:31 PM GMT
    I label my self gay because thats what I am-- I fit what it means to be gay. I also know its human nature but to give things a label, everything from taxonomic terms for every 1000 or so fucking species of butterfly, to gay and straight. But at the end its all about an action rather then a label. By labeling someone else your giving preconceived social boundaries to individual actions; and while that may generalize most people, Its not for everyone. Frankly some people get off by getting pee'd on, and some people get off by also having sex with women. Im not saying they're aren't social pressures to 'be straight' but not everyone fits the generalities of the label gay or straight. if you dont want to get pee'd on stay away from the pee'ers, and if you dont want to have sex with 'bi' men stay away from them too. And most of all dont take labels too seriously; an individual is an individual for a reason-- because they're different from you, even if you dont agree with what makes that difference.

    I had a friend in college who openly just about had sex with everything. Finally I asked him what his deal was and he told me that sex, either with a woman or a man feels good,its fun and if they're a good person they're an attractive person. We lost contact after college so I dont know whom he ended up with, but I truly believe he just found sex fun, with whom ever it was and he didn't need a label to do what he wanted.
  • EricLA Posts: 3453
    QUOTE Mar 18, 2009 4:37 PM GMT
    I'm bi -- I like straight AND gay men.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Mar 18, 2009 4:39 PM GMT
    Ugh I hate this topic. The OP is understandably confused, but a lot of the posts are simply dead wrong, and in fact, IMO dangerous.

    Sexuality is not about who you fuck, it is about who you are. A person can't be turned gay by having a dick in his mouth or ass. That's stupid and frankly, insulting. If it is true then homophobia is not unreasoable at all. If a person can be turned gay by another gay man, then I could understand why people are homophobic.

    Being gay is a mental process. It is an attraction to other men. Being gay is NOT about actually having sex with other men, though it is natural consequence of it. A man who is only attracted to men, but is so afraid of those feelings that he only has sex with women is not straight. He's gay. If you believe you become gay by having sex with other men, then he's straight, which obviously is not true.

    The point here is that a man does not become gay after having sex with another man. If he wanted to have sex with him and had attractions to men, then he was gay beforehand. The sexual act didn't turn him gay.

    To get back to the OP's question. Such people are most likely not straight. They are probably gay or bi, but are uncomfortable with that label, so they call themselves straight even though their sexual acts would indicate an attraction to men. I guess they may be in denial about it. But personally I am uncomfrtable about forcing an unwanted label upon them. I thught gay liberation was all about gaining the right not to have the "straight but mentally ill because he likes guys" label. If teh straight community doesn't have the right to impose that upon us, then we have no right to impose the "gay but is so afraid of it he's mentally ill" upon these guys.

    Sexuality is a mental process and as such I am really uncomfortable telling people what they think, even if it may seem obvious from their actions. Thier minds are their own exclusive territory.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Mar 18, 2009 4:51 PM GMT
    I'm pretty sure it was Ben Affleck who said:

    "If you fix one pipe, no one calls you a plumber. But, if you suck one dick..."



  • InsatiableBlo... Posts: 423
    QUOTE Mar 18, 2009 4:57 PM GMT
    "Does this dick in my mouth make me look gay?"
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Mar 18, 2009 5:23 PM GMT
    NoAir saidPenis in your mouth or but = Homosexual.

    It is not rocket science doesn't matter how you label yourself.

    Peace


    This definition seems incomplete.
    It is similar to saying "eating vegetables = vegetarian".

    There are more than two meal plans out there.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Mar 18, 2009 5:23 PM GMT
    EricLA saidI'm bi -- I like straight AND gay men.

    /thread

    But seriously, why do we care about labels? Threads like these perpetuate a thought in society where we have to polarize sexuality.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Mar 18, 2009 5:32 PM GMT
    Guys who have these issues are only good for one night stands. If they like to have sex with guys and still label themselves straight (not even considering Bi), I think chances are slim to none that a homosexual RELATIONSHIP is a priority of theirs.

    But hey I won't judge... If you're not after a relationship, I say go fuck as many straight guys as you want

  • GQjock Posts: 11643
    QUOTE Mar 18, 2009 6:59 PM GMT
    InsatiableBloom said"Does this dick in my mouth make me look gay?"



    Says It All