Straight/Gay---Black/White?

  • DrobUA

    Posts: 1331

    Mar 18, 2009 8:22 AM GMT
    Alright here is a less heated issue that I'm interested in. I try and steer clear of labels but many say I'm "confused". I disagree.

    Gay-------------------------Bi---------------------------Straight

    I don't know if it is just me but I don't think anyone is 100% gay or straight. I personally label myself as gay but my relationships have always been with women. Weird I know. I am not unattracted to women but I am more attracted to men. Does bi mean you are 50/50?? Are there any people who are open minded to either lifestyle? I used to think bi was a sugar coated way of saying you were gay but after I came out I found that I was still attracted to and "clicked" with women. Where do the people in the gray area fit in? Lets hear your thoughts.
  • nhnelson

    Posts: 113

    Mar 18, 2009 9:06 AM GMT
    I don't think you're unique in that respect. Lots of gay guys have relationships with girls early on. Google up on the Kinsey scale of sexuality. One's sexuality certainly need not be categorized if it doesn't fit into a category. There are lots of gay guys who deal with the fact that they "click" more with females (for whatever reason) but are attracted to men. In my experience with them, and even with myself, it's a sort of phase, or maybe even a roadblock that one will eventually overcome. A few of my best friends labeled themselves as bi for a couple of years for the sole reason that they "clicked" with females. They eventually got over it and realized that they harbored no physical attraction to females. Not only are you cheating yourself by deluding your notion of your own sexuality and entertaining a juvenile perception of attraction (I love my mom more than most everybody, but that doesn't mean I want to sleep with her), but you're being unfair to the girls who think that you're interested in them.
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Mar 18, 2009 2:42 PM GMT
    I am 200% gay
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    Mar 18, 2009 2:55 PM GMT
    It seems like some just fighting being gay. You can expend every last breath in your body, exhaust every muscle and even use your superior intellect to try not to be gay. In the end, you will still be gay, queer, a homo, a fag, a fudgepacker, a nancy, a poof, and an abomination before god. You may as well get used to the idea because nothing known to man can change it.
  • DrobUA

    Posts: 1331

    Mar 18, 2009 8:18 PM GMT
    McGay saidIt seems like some just fighting being gay. You can expend every last breath in your body, exhaust every muscle and even use your superior intellect to try not to be gay. In the end, you will still be gay, queer, a homo, a fag, a fudgepacker, a nancy, a poof, and an abomination before god. You may as well get used to the idea because nothing known to man can change it.


    Well thats what I used to think but then I stopped fighting and came out and still was attracted to women. Don't you think it's possible that some people just click with both?
  • martinaston

    Posts: 310

    Apr 06, 2009 9:35 PM GMT
    I don't think the title matters, its about love right?
    So long as you're upfront with whoever you choose to be with about your bisexuality, happy ending.
    Belonging to a title isn't a goal. Being in love maybe is.
    You may eventually end up on either side of the fence, but for now just run around the paddock and enjoy yourself ;)
  • Rookz

    Posts: 947

    Apr 06, 2009 9:47 PM GMT
    martinaston saidI don't think the title matters, its about love right?
    So long as you're upfront with whoever you choose to be with about your bisexuality, happy ending.
    Belonging to a title isn't a goal. Being in love maybe is.
    You may eventually end up on either side of the fence, but for now just run around the paddock and enjoy yourself ;)



    Thank you (and welcome by the way) Martinaston for that point of view.

    Why does it matter and why bother with the definition if it's Love? If the person can make you happy, no matter what their race / status / sexual orientation, that's all that matters.

    But if you love furniture, pets, a vaccum cleaner, etc., you're a freak.
  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9190

    Apr 06, 2009 9:57 PM GMT
    icon_question.gifThink outside the box. icon_idea.gifWho says that sexuality has to be linear?


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    Apr 06, 2009 10:19 PM GMT
    Matey you are not going to get away from labels no matter what! They gay community wanted to be noticed, and recognised. Thus it had impacted, and with it, come many labels. You yourself stand under the banner of gay; label. Take away that label and you may well be, just another young man.

    As a pure homosexual. I am 100% homosexual! No bisexual in me at all, not even when I'm laying a bisexual.icon_biggrin.gif So as a pure homosexual. I stand under the banner of Fag. That is my label.icon_wink.gif
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    Apr 06, 2009 10:23 PM GMT
    DrobUA said
    McGay saidIt seems like some just fighting being gay. You can expend every last breath in your body, exhaust every muscle and even use your superior intellect to try not to be gay. In the end, you will still be gay, queer, a homo, a fag, a fudgepacker, a nancy, a poof, and an abomination before god. You may as well get used to the idea because nothing known to man can change it.


    Well thats what I used to think but then I stopped fighting and came out and still was attracted to women. Don't you think it's possible that some people just click with both?


    Don't worry about Mcgay, she is just a bitter old queen, who never got her way. Must be hard being born in a country the promotes the propaganda: "all men are born equal" then too find out, it did not include you. In your own mind you are perfect, yet your country tells you differently.

    Such as life..........
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    Apr 06, 2009 10:26 PM GMT
    On the good ol' Kinsey Scale of 0-6, I'm a 4. Just a bit more into men than I am to women. I still call myself Gay, but if you had to assign a number to me, well there it is.
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    Jun 06, 2009 2:02 PM GMT
    DrobUA saidAlright here is a less heated issue that I'm interested in. I try and steer clear of labels but many say I'm "confused". I disagree.

    Gay-------------------------Bi---------------------------Straight


    The problem with that "graph" and most discussion of sexuality is it's linear. A better graph would be one that accounts for both emotional AND physical attraction. So if you made your X axis physical and Y axis emotional, you'd get a much richer perspective.

    So for someone like me, it would be on the extreme end of things (where that X is). For me, it IS black and white - it's just the way I'm wired.

    I suspect, just from what I've read, many of the guys on this site would hover closer to where I put that # but that's just my guess.

    If I were to make a guess about the male population of America, let's say age 18 - 50, I'd put them where the $ is. But again - that's just a guess based on what I've read, learned, and experienced myself.

    _____________Gay (emotion)
    ___X______________|
    __________________|
    __________________|
    __________________|
    __________________|
    __________________|
    Gay-------------------------Bi---------------------------Straight (physical)
    __________________|
    _________#________|
    __________________|____________$
    __________________|
    __________________|
    __________________|
    _______________Straight

  • Rowing_Ant

    Posts: 1504

    Jun 06, 2009 2:11 PM GMT
    To me labels are pointless. So is trying to label yourself with anything other than who you are.

    Humans love to classify things....to measure, delineate, reduce...etc. Trying to reduce someone's emotional, sexual response to another human being with three terms I think is stupid.

    We are all sexual beings and have differant preferences in who or what we find attractive aesthetically, what is attractive sexualy, sexual preferences etc etc. Each one of us is unique and differant but there are some patterns; some men may prefer the emotional and sexual company of other men. Some may not. Big deal. Does it really need a name?

    Before 1868 there was no such thing as Homosexual or Heterosexual; the words, terms and definiations simply did not exist. Yes men who had sex with other men existed but they were not homosexual, nor were they gay.

    Sexualitry is a sliding scale, some people are attracted to others of the same sex, some to the opposite sex. its not clear cut, its not black and white. It isnt as simple as "them and us", gay vs straight etc. Forget the label. Forget the stress of what the words mean and how they define you and what they might suggest or say about you...just be yourself. Accept you are you, you are attracted to who ever you are and live with it. Throw off the labesl people migjht try to give you or the box they want to put you in. The only box you can be put in is one with your face on and your name on...and that box which sums you up will change every day.
  • martinaston

    Posts: 310

    Jun 27, 2009 1:45 PM GMT
    withHonor said
    martinaston saidI don't think the title matters, its about love right?
    So long as you're upfront with whoever you choose to be with about your bisexuality, happy ending.
    Belonging to a title isn't a goal. Being in love maybe is.
    You may eventually end up on either side of the fence, but for now just run around the paddock and enjoy yourself ;)



    Thank you (and welcome by the way) Martinaston for that point of view.

    Why does it matter and why bother with the definition if it's Love? If the person can make you happy, no matter what their race / status / sexual orientation, that's all that matters.

    But if you love furniture, pets, a vaccum cleaner, etc., you're a freak.


    thanks for the welcome withHonor icon_smile.gif
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    Jun 29, 2009 2:11 PM GMT


    In both of our personal experiences we've found that the one prevalent problem with a Bi mindset is the thought that there are no truly straight people.

    We also know from personal experience that this offends many straight people and the result is often a response of straights being intolerant.

    Just look at this: There are no truly gay people.

    This insinuates you can all be straight if you want to, being gay is a flippant choice, and makes the specious insinuation that ex-gay ministries do work and that every gay can damn well marry a girl and have kids.

    So we urge caution, guys.


    It appears tolerance is what we all want, so it's a good idea to pay respect to them by NOT challenging their sexuality.

    By the way, the criss-cross graph provided by hamdu is one of delightful enlightenment.

    Thank you for it!


    hamdu, Welcome to Realjock!


    -us guys
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    Jun 29, 2009 2:14 PM GMT
    matey said
    DrobUA said
    McGay saidIt seems like some just fighting being gay. You can expend every last breath in your body, exhaust every muscle and even use your superior intellect to try not to be gay. In the end, you will still be gay, queer, a homo, a fag, a fudgepacker, a nancy, a poof, and an abomination before god. You may as well get used to the idea because nothing known to man can change it.


    Well thats what I used to think but then I stopped fighting and came out and still was attracted to women. Don't you think it's possible that some people just click with both?


    Don't worry about Mcgay, she is just a bitter old queen, who never got her way. Must be hard being born in a country the promotes the propaganda: "all men are born equal" then too find out, it did not include you. In your own mind you are perfect, yet your country tells you differently.

    Such as life..........


    Patticakes have you been raping puppies again?
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    Jun 29, 2009 2:23 PM GMT
    Just be yourself and don't worry about labels. I dated girls and liked them, but had a much stronger sexual attraction to men. I still can enjoy looking at a pretty woman and I consider myself 99% gay. You're a young guy,perfectly normal to wonder about things like this.
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    Jul 01, 2009 12:14 PM GMT
    I'll agree with a few people and say that labels shouldn't really be applied to sexuality, forgive the hippie attitude but do what feels good.