Only attracted to straight men.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 18, 2009 10:03 PM GMT
    I guess we could call this a problem but maybe it's more common than I think. This site is called RealJock...sure...and a lot of the guys on here are indeed jocks and very masculine who get use from the training tips. However, a lot are not. They are here for other reasons.

    Anyway I am only attracted to straight guys. Or gay guys who most people think are straight. If I see a guy who I think is attractive, the SECOND I see or hear a feminine characteristic, I lose interest. For example, I was at a bar, saw this dude who was way hot, then all the sudden he puts his hand on his hip and...instant limp dick. All interest was lost.

    This presents a challenge in the gay world. I don't judge people....be who you are, but I will have no sexual attraction to you if you aren't masculine and possess any female traits. I also have issues with stereotypes but that's another topic.

    Does anyone else understand this? I've had friends refer to it as an internal form of homophobia but yet I don't agree. I am 100% happy with myself and happy being gay. Maybe it comes from growing up in a small hick town in Pennsylvania? Maybe it simply comes down to attraction. It's different for us all. But, again, it's challenging dating. Especially living in San Francisco. Where are all the gay dudes who are just dudes? Why are they so rare? Also, where are the dudes who aren't full filled with empty hookups? The guys who value love and friendship more than sex?

    Anyway, thanks for reading.
    Cheers guys-
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    Mar 18, 2009 10:50 PM GMT
    You're not the only one. I like a good challenge, haha!

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    Mar 18, 2009 10:55 PM GMT
    So this is like, the 1,722nd time this exact topic has been posted in recent memory?
  • OptimusMatt

    Posts: 1124

    Mar 18, 2009 10:56 PM GMT
    I think the issue is one of being attracted to masculinity.

    *shrugs* you can't help what you're attracted to, but if you're limited in what you're looking for...you're going to get limited results. Everyone's got a little queen in them. Doesn't mean its the dominant trait.

    I'm not trying to lecture you but if ANY feminine trait instantly turns you off...well...you're going to wait a LONG time for that hyper-masculine bottom.
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    Mar 18, 2009 10:57 PM GMT
    I can empathize.
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    Mar 18, 2009 10:57 PM GMT
    I know exactly what you're saying Billy_1980. It's like this site here. Y'know, I see a guy who might be interesting but then ya realize he takes pictures of his shirtless self in the mirror or displays other feminine characteristic and boom, instant buzz-harsher, boner-killer. I don't judge, but just know that if you take pictures of yourself in the mirror without a shirt on, there's no sexual attraction from me, but, please, be who you are.
  • Mikeylikesit

    Posts: 1021

    Mar 18, 2009 11:00 PM GMT
    Sounds to me like he need sum Therapy!....Some Homophobe issues....LOL
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    Mar 18, 2009 11:05 PM GMT
    I just wonder who died and made guys like you the Queen of what's masculine or not icon_neutral.gif

  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Mar 18, 2009 11:06 PM GMT
    You need to respect other people sexual orientation. If he really is straight there no way he will be responding to you sexually. I have a straight girl who is obses about me, and I found her annoying and a nuisance. But if you said you are intersted to a masculine gay/bisexual men its another story.

    One of the negative perception those straight folk have about us , is we are a sex hungry predator who chase over their straight men. Those stuff about "loving a challenge" should not be apply in a gay to straight situation. It just so rude, unrespectful and not welcome.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 18, 2009 11:07 PM GMT
    Popcorn: CheckPhotobucket


    Let the Flaming begin!!
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    Mar 18, 2009 11:13 PM GMT
    Somebody go get Musclequest!
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    Mar 18, 2009 11:13 PM GMT
    I do respect everyone's sexual orientation. I don't throw myself on straight guys or try to "convert" them. I was just saying what I am attracted to.

    And McGAY: You sure are funny. And gay.

    Cheers ucla_matta! ;)
  • Nayro

    Posts: 1825

    Mar 18, 2009 11:15 PM GMT
    I REALLY hope guiltygears wont read this topic, hes not too fond about topics like this... and I can know
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    Mar 18, 2009 11:18 PM GMT
    I've seen more than one "I don't judge...but...." in this thread. Interesting!
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    Mar 18, 2009 11:22 PM GMT
    You gotta get over that 'cause even manly str8 guys can scream like little girls occasionally

  • UncleverName

    Posts: 741

    Mar 18, 2009 11:26 PM GMT
    I understand what you're saying from the view point of "You're attracted to what you're attracted to". Understanding it doesn't mean it's very useful.

    Every guy you meet for the rest of your life will have some feminine trait about him that you don't like, and unless you can learn to love the guy and be attracted to him anyways, it will be a boner killer. Every man has feminine traits, even you.

    So basically, where you're at now, I think you're only going to be able to have one night stands, during which you'll want the guy you're with to talk as little as possible, so that he can't ruin the illusion of him that you've created in your mind.

    I could be way off too. And I'm not trying to be offensive. Like I said in the beginning, I can understand what you're saying. I just don't think it leaves you in a very functional place, depending on what you want in your life.

    Here's a question for you: do you have straight friends that you're close to? Are you attracted to any of them? Do they display masculine traits only?
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    Mar 18, 2009 11:37 PM GMT

    Anyway I am only attracted to straight guys. Or gay guys who most people think are straight. If I see a guy who I think is attractive, the SECOND I see or hear a feminine characteristic, I lose interest. For example, I was at a bar, saw this dude who was way hot, then all the sudden he puts his hand on his hip and...instant limp dick. All interest was lost.


    So what about other guys that feel the same way as you do and see you as acting, looking /dressing too gay for them?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 18, 2009 11:38 PM GMT
    UncleverName: Thanks for actually putting thought into your response. I'm glad you understand that where I was coming from was not a judgmental place.

    I have straight friends yes. I am not attracted to them sexually. Some of the guys are masculine but they are friends, like brothers to me.





  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 18, 2009 11:40 PM GMT
    QUOTE AUTHOR GOES HEREWhere are all the gay dudes who are just dudes?


    Everywhere. Perhaps you are just not noticing them because you perceive gay men as being effeminate. I spend a lot of time in San Francisco. Masculine gay men are all around there.

    QUOTE AUTHOR GOES HERE where are the... guys who value love and friendship more than sex?


    To a lot of people, this point of view is distinctly feminine in nature. I disagree but it comes to question, just what is femininity? I see you have a poem in your profile too. icon_confused.gif Pretty girlie, dude. icon_wink.gif

    I see a lot of straight men being emasculated within their community -- some of it self-motivated, some the influence of girlfriends -- hoping it will help them get laid.

    Waxed eyebrows, shaved chests, legs and (yikes) completely shaved crotches. I'm not sure about this whole "straight acting" thing when I look at the young generation of straight men at the local university here. I wonder when they are going to take up makeup, pumps and parasols. A whole lot of straight men today are not particularly masculine from what I am seeing.

    I understand your viewpoint. I too am attracted to masculine men. But to go so far as to rule someone out because he put his hand on his hip in a way that you perceive of as feminine... that's kind of extreme. It honestly makes me wonder if you are not a bit nellie yourself and don't realize it.

    I have run into countless men who consider themselves butch and think no one knows that they are gay, while hanging a limp wrist, smoking Benson and Hedges, calling his friends "girl," and shrieking at the site of an insect or not knowing what to do with a toilet that continues to trickle after being flushed.

    As I consider it more, it's not femininity that I am not attracted to, per se, but helplessness. If a guy wants to hold my hand and walks with a little bit of a swish I might not be interested initially. But if that same guy jumps right in and helps me tear out and rebuild the foundation from the back of a house that's falling down during renovations, then I'm going to have a serious hardon.

    I see guys online a lot in my town that claim to be masculine and looking for the same exclusively. Then I see them at the gym or a cafe and they may as well be packing a furburger. They just don't realize how effeminate they are themselves, have insecurities around it, and project it on others as a dislike of the same.

    I have no idea if that is the case for you, but thought I would throw that out there for examination. If you react immediately to that without any consideration of it's possibility, it's something you might want to take a second look at.

    Otherwise, maybe relax about the guy who puts his hand on his hip when all other signals make you randy. All good men are going to have some feminine characteristics. It's actually a balance of both traits, whether male or female, that make a well-rounded human being, in my opinion.
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    Mar 18, 2009 11:43 PM GMT
    There is nothing inherently wrong with a trait-oriented preference, but it certainly limits the size of the net you can cast. As someone mentioned above, you ought to seek therapy for this. Therapy isn't necessarily a bad thing.

    Unless you're completely satisfied with your discriminating taste, then good luck finding a man.
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    Mar 18, 2009 11:45 PM GMT
    AMT87 saidI just wonder who died and made guys like you the Queen of what's masculine or not icon_neutral.gif



    AMT87 - from what I've gathered in reading his post, he's not necessarily calling out what is or isn't "straight acting" or "masculine" necessarily, nor proclaiming what is and isn't one way or the other. He's more just generalizing that his version of what he views as masculine is generally, and more often than not, exhibited by straight guys.. whereas the traits exhibited by the gay men he seems to encounter showcase less so.

    How many profiles on various websites out there proclaim the owner to be "vgl", "hot", "hung", "sexy", "straight acting", etc., only to leave you scratching your head going, "really? who are they kidding?" Not to start a shit-throwing war, but you've elected to describe your body type on here as muscular, in looking at your photos, it would seem that you and I have rather different versions of what constitutes one being muscular. But then I'm sure there are just as many people out there who would argue otherwise... bottom line, everything is subjective and relative only to the person encountering it.
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    Mar 18, 2009 11:51 PM GMT
    I understand that everyone is attracted to different things. And if straight guys and straight acting gay guys are your thing, then run with it.

    However, we have all seen this happen hundreds of times. Gay guy gets hots for straight guy, pines away. Moves on to next straight guy, pines away. It is really easy to get attracted to straight guys because their is no danger of actual commitment. It is gay man's version of a fag hag. No one ends up happy in this situation, so be mindful as to the why of your attraction.

    Happy hunting.
  • dannyboy1101

    Posts: 977

    Mar 18, 2009 11:56 PM GMT
    Sigh.... It must be really lonely on that pedestal up there. I suppose rolling my eyes right now would land me right in queendom. Number one, if you want a man's man, you should look into a city that's a little smaller and a little more closed-minded (not unlike yourself). That's where the gays who feel the need to fake live (or the ones who never expose themselves to other gays). San Fran... not so much. A welcoming city allows all of its inhabitants to act as they like and not hold anything back. I think your chances of finding someone to your satisfaction in any major city are slim, but that's just my opinion which comes from my experiences in Chicago and the traveling I've done so far.

    I can see liking masculinity, but I also have seen some crazy beautiful guys that aren't the football player types. For me, I'd rather have a real somewhat feminine guy than a phony masculine guy. Nothing turns my stomach like a guy saying "sup bro?" in the lowest octave he can go. I suppose I should fully support anyone desiring to be closed-minded because it's only hurting their chances of getting someone of quality and perhaps even increasing my chances. On second thought, hate away, gentlemen!!!!
  • UncleverName

    Posts: 741

    Mar 19, 2009 12:06 AM GMT
    BILLY_1980 saidI have straight friends yes. I am not attracted to them sexually. Some of the guys are masculine but they are friends, like brothers to me.


    I'm sort of guessing that your friends are all pretty 'straight acting'; if that's the case, do you just not notice when they're feminine, or do they not open up to you enough for you to see them when they're feminine?
    Maybe that's a totally off tangent that's not useful. I sort of wonder way too much about my friends some times. Mainly because I'm attracted to the same thing in friends quite often as I am in my partner.

    Something else to consider is maybe making the effort to go out with guys that don't immediately turn you on. What's wrong with seeing a guy that looks attractive, seeing him put his hand on his hip in an unattractive way, and still talking to him? When my partner farts, it's a big turn off. We both make a point of not farting when we're about to get it on though, so it's not really a big deal that he farts. If I mentally think about it and dwell on it in my mind while we're having sex, it will be a problem. But I don't do that.

    (And for the record, I fart too and it's unattractive to my partner when we're having sex. When we're not having sex, we both fart pretty freely, unless we know the stench will be overwhelming)
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    Mar 19, 2009 12:09 AM GMT
    Going for straight guys is like fishing with no bait; you have a very small chance of making a real catch.