If there are masculine gays, are there feminine straights?

  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Mar 19, 2009 2:41 AM GMT
    Here is a thought. There is so much talk about gay men, who "act straight" (by the way, I hate that referece, the only way for a man to "act straight" is for him to have sex with a woman), what about feminine men, who are straight?

    It seems to make sense, yet these men, by their straight peers, and the gay community are thought of as being in the closet. Yet this group must be populated with individuals.

    Thoughts?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 19, 2009 3:02 AM GMT
    I've met one guy who I'd have sworn on a stack of Bhagavad Gitas was the faggiest fag in Fagville, but he was 100% straight. Here in the center of the Transcendental Meditation movement in the USA, the hardcore TMer men tend to come across as a bit soft, but a lot of it is mood-making and affectation. Hardcore TM people seem to think talking soft and breathy is somehow more refined and enlightened. Funny thing is, Maharishi wasn't at all like that, and I never understood how he could let that nonsense be the public face of TM.
  • Grimlock

    Posts: 71

    Mar 19, 2009 3:51 AM GMT
    Hmmm... I think they are usually referred to as metrosexuals.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 19, 2009 3:53 AM GMT
    "by the way, I hate that referece, the only way for a man to "act straight" is for him to have sex with a woman"

    wow, i can't tell you how much i totally disagree with this statement...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 19, 2009 4:02 AM GMT
    I rarely post but reading this I had to reply and say DCeric is right. I dislike when gay men post they are "straight acting". Granted we all know what it means but two problems: a. it is a matter of opinion and I have met plenty of guys who have said they are "straight acting" and turn out to just be plain insecure or blatantly not "straight acting". b. it perpetuates a stereotype that by being gay you are robbed of your masculinity and must be a raging queen, completely flamboyent and worshipping a mini cher statue in your room. Total BS!! Straight acting is a cover for what often becomes a cheap way to mask insecurity. Gay men should be proud, if you're out you're out and it's because you like men. That doesn't make you any less of a man or diminish your masculinity in any way.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 19, 2009 4:17 AM GMT
    I think "straight-acting" smacks of internalized homophobia. Masculine is a better choice of words, but even then, a guy who makes a big point about how masculine he is and how he only likes masculine men doesn't come across to me as any less insecure as the self-described "straight-acting" guy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 19, 2009 4:21 AM GMT
    Lyle,%20The%20Effeminate%20Heterosexual.

    1992-03-21-5.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 19, 2009 4:47 AM GMT
    Hmm.. "feminine" straight guy? Jonathan Antin comes to mind. He had a reality show on Bravo called Blow Out.
  • Nautical

    Posts: 204

    Mar 19, 2009 5:14 AM GMT
    ofcourse there is, people are rarely so black and white as simply being one thing or another.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 19, 2009 6:48 AM GMT
    Yes there are feminine straight guys.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 19, 2009 7:30 AM GMT
    ummm ya where do u think metrosexuals came from? oh and lots of asian guys are fem.... and lots of euro /aussies... all i have to say is SIMON of Simon and Alex on R.H.O.N.Y.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 19, 2009 7:31 AM GMT
    ya there are a lot of those
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 19, 2009 7:35 AM GMT
    charlitos saidya there are a lot of those


    lol charlitos you understand my abbreviation? most wouldn't but i guess thats why its called the straight woman gay man network... for all others its the Real Housewives of NY
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 19, 2009 8:34 AM GMT

    I met some straight gay-acting guys ... but they turned out to be gays in denial..

  • ROYCE13

    Posts: 315

    Mar 19, 2009 8:36 AM GMT
    animanimus saideffeminate str8s? yes, you can spot them a mile away by that sweater draped over their shoulders. when they get close you'll notice loafers with no socks.

    i've an old friend from high school, not a sweater draper but a shopper, a bit of a wimp, a total girl, really. my nickname for him is "girl balls".


    from someone a 1000 years old, I am surprised to see this comment from you. Have you ever been exposed to the north east, sweater over the shoulders and no socks is standard, gay or straight, florida and parts of california, and all over the world, I would expect more intelligent comments from you, especially someone your age ????
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 19, 2009 8:46 AM GMT
    Yep I have met several. Sexual orientation and external mannerisms are not 100% correlated.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 19, 2009 5:34 PM GMT
    Superb question.

    My flatmate at uni was really very feminine, but not gay.

    He's not a closet case either. I've tried to seduce him about a million times, and if he was gay, there's simply no way he could resist that. icon_wink.gif

    So the answer to your question is resounding YES. This happens a lot.
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Mar 19, 2009 10:29 PM GMT
    Well, yes there is the term metrosexual, but that has the undertone of homosexual in the closet- which is not what I am trying to describe.
  • DiverScience

    Posts: 1426

    Mar 19, 2009 10:42 PM GMT
    Are you serious?

    People are diverse. There's BILLIONS of us on the planet.

    Yes there are feminine men who are straight. Enough that I've known several. Most of them happily married to women now.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 19, 2009 10:49 PM GMT
    DiverScience saidAre you serious?

    People are diverse. There's BILLIONS of us on the planet.

    Yes there are feminine men who are straight. Enough that I've known several. Most of them happily married to women now.


    Yup, I've worked with some flaming heterosexual men and butch straight women. The awesome part was that they were perfectly cognizant of their mannerisms and totally comfortable with them. The best part was watching the reaction some new employees had to a particularity animated manager. "He's married? Seriously, like to a woman?"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 19, 2009 10:54 PM GMT
    Yeah, I have a roommate that is completely straight but is fairly gay acting. When we go out, people think that I'm straight and he's gay. I wonder wtf planet they're from. And no, I haven't tried sleeping with him. I like guys that like guys. Why waste my time on a hetero?
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Mar 20, 2009 2:25 AM GMT
    DiverScience saidAre you serious?


    I'm serious in the sense that this group tends to be observed as being in the closet, when in fact they are not.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 20, 2009 2:47 AM GMT
    DCEric saidHere is a thought. There is so much talk about gay men, who "act straight" (by the way, I hate that referece, the only way for a man to "act straight" is for him to have sex with a woman), what about feminine men, who are straight?

    It seems to make sense, yet these men, by their straight peers, and the gay community are thought of as being in the closet. Yet this group must be populated with individuals.

    Thoughts?



    Yes there are. I know a couple of them
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Mar 20, 2009 5:13 AM GMT
    Absolutely.
    Or, maybe they're bi.
    The last couple of years, I was taking some college courses, and two of the professors I would have sworn were gay, started mentioning their wives every once in awhile. I wasn't completely convinced. But, who knows ?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 20, 2009 4:12 PM GMT
    DCEric said
    DiverScience saidAre you serious?


    I'm serious in the sense that this group tends to be observed as being in the closet, when in fact they are not.


    I'm absolutely sure this happens. Of course to a certain extent you can control how you come across (is that controversial?), so it's not too common with straight guys. My former flatmate just said he felt more comfortable being a bit feminine, that's all.