Mar 19, 2009 6:55 AM GMT
This post is probably going to make me look bad, but here goes...
I was a very shy nerd growing up, with low self-esteem. I've come a long way since then. For instance, I've had enough experience to know that I'm an excellent lover (with the right partner, of course). But, there is one aspect of guy-ness in which I remain completely deficient: friendly teasing, or "yanking each others' chain", or being a smartass, or whatever you call it. Many guys like to have fun with their friends by teasing them, and their friends tease them back, and everyone has a good laugh.
My problem is that I never know how to deal with it. When someone puts me down, I don't know what to do. Even if I figure out that they are probably joking (although I can never tell for sure), I don't know how to respond. Tease them back? I've never teased anyone in my life. When I was young, it hurt to be teased, and I would never treat someone else that way. I never ever got in a fight; I just walked away. So I never developed that "yank the chain" muscle, if you will. I always take people's words at face value. So when I'm with someone who teases as a way of being friendly, I'm very slow to get the joke, I have no response, and I feel like an idiot.
As silly as it sounds... can anyone recommend resources I could use to learn to be more of a smartass?
To be ready with a snarky retort when some dude tosses a barb at me?
For example, when a guy tells me "you shouldn't put up shirtless pictures because your muscles are pale and small", all I can think about is my face burning red with embarrassment, because part of me thinks he's right. What would be the confident, manly, smartass-y thing to say instead?
I was a very shy nerd growing up, with low self-esteem. I've come a long way since then. For instance, I've had enough experience to know that I'm an excellent lover (with the right partner, of course). But, there is one aspect of guy-ness in which I remain completely deficient: friendly teasing, or "yanking each others' chain", or being a smartass, or whatever you call it. Many guys like to have fun with their friends by teasing them, and their friends tease them back, and everyone has a good laugh.
My problem is that I never know how to deal with it. When someone puts me down, I don't know what to do. Even if I figure out that they are probably joking (although I can never tell for sure), I don't know how to respond. Tease them back? I've never teased anyone in my life. When I was young, it hurt to be teased, and I would never treat someone else that way. I never ever got in a fight; I just walked away. So I never developed that "yank the chain" muscle, if you will. I always take people's words at face value. So when I'm with someone who teases as a way of being friendly, I'm very slow to get the joke, I have no response, and I feel like an idiot.
As silly as it sounds... can anyone recommend resources I could use to learn to be more of a smartass?

For example, when a guy tells me "you shouldn't put up shirtless pictures because your muscles are pale and small", all I can think about is my face burning red with embarrassment, because part of me thinks he's right. What would be the confident, manly, smartass-y thing to say instead?