I am STRAIGHT!!!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 19, 2009 6:57 PM GMT
    The sublimal suggestions have conqured!!

    There I've said it.
    I'm out of the closet, out in the open and a better MAN for it now.
    I plan to fuck three women in two days... Tell them I'll call them and never will. Ignore their phone calls, and pretend we never met if I run in to them again! (kinda like a lot of gay men, but with women, tehehe)

    I will go out on dates with women, enjoy their conversation, relate to thier experience and ideas, laugh at their jokes, smile appreciatively and affirmingly while looking in to their eyes. And when I take them home, if I don't get laid... I'll move on. (yeah, gay men do this too - guilty)

    I will speak cleary, directly, with a bravado in my voice and swagger in my step. I will make George Clooney seem effeminate compared to Richard Simmons! (Unless I'm tipsy, I may FAIL then girrrl)

    I will spit in the urinal at the gym, and drip urine on the floor in front of me.
    I will fear gay men, because they all LUST for me!! (Like I wisssssh icon_biggrin.gif)
    I will stop working out. Drink more beer and pour out the Chardonay.
    I will think a martini is the name of my bud Martin's thingy - (hehehe, it is... he's my FB)

    I am Masculine, I am straight, I am in your neighborhood! (Far as you know, huh?)
    Get over it!!!

    ok, so maybe tossing the Chardonay is a lil' harsh. (I'm mean really)


    oh and I love macroni and cheese... did I mention that before.
    but that doesn't make me gay, does it?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 19, 2009 7:26 PM GMT
    No flame war? No dare to arm wrestle? icon_confused.gif
    Damn, where's the fun in being straight?

  • mcwclewis

    Posts: 1701

    Mar 19, 2009 7:44 PM GMT
    Sorry man... I mean I suppose I could go on a tirade about internalized homophobia but.... I'm just not in the mood.


    That was funny though icon_smile.gif
  • silverfox

    Posts: 3178

    Mar 19, 2009 7:49 PM GMT
    BodyWork4 saidThe



    I will spit in the urinal at the gym, and drip urine on the floor in front of me.




    ROFL!!!!!!!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 19, 2009 7:57 PM GMT
    What nothing about self hating because you vote republican?

    Sorry I forgot, you are straight, and only the gays vote for the democrats.icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 19, 2009 8:02 PM GMT
    oh my bad...

    I will hang a Sarah Palin 2012 poster on my wall icon_biggrin.gif
  • mcwclewis

    Posts: 1701

    Mar 19, 2009 8:03 PM GMT
    They have those?
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    Mar 19, 2009 8:04 PM GMT
    mcwclewis saidThey have those?


    uh to not know would be gay... helloooo icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 19, 2009 8:30 PM GMT
    BodyWork4 said
    mcwclewis saidThey have those?


    uh to not know would be gay... helloooo icon_rolleyes.gif


    Since she is the only women who could turn me straight. I have whole room dedicated to her, with a tape of her playing 24/7.icon_biggrin.gif

    The next gay Icon. Step aside Judy, and Cher.icon_eek.gif
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Mar 19, 2009 8:32 PM GMT
    so's spaghetti until you boil it
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 19, 2009 8:38 PM GMT
    Timberoo saidso's spaghetti until you boil it


    and a penis until you bore it icon_eek.gif









    icon_biggrin.gif