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Why do gay guys call other gay guys "girl"???

  • stolenname Posts: 243
    QUOTE Mar 19, 2009 9:04 PM GMT
    Not trying to start a cat fight here, but I really don't get it. I mean just because were gay doesn't mean we have to start calling each other "girl".
    I guess it bothers me because I feel that as gay men, we have to fight to protect our masculinity, and it doesn't help when guys are calling other guys "girl" just because we're gay.

    My BF and I were talking about it the other night (it bothers him to) so I was wondering what you guys think??

    Does it bother you when guys call other guys, "girl"?
    Do you do it yourself?
    Do you care at all?
    Do you think its cute, or a term of endearment??

    Let me know what's on your mind guys, what do you think??
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Mar 19, 2009 9:41 PM GMT
    Supposedly it is a throwback to the days when gay guys would call each other by female names so that if people over heard them they would think they were talking to their girlfriend or wife.

    I personally have never gotten into it, and after awhile it is one of those aspects of gay society I have tuned out.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Mar 19, 2009 9:42 PM GMT
    Stolenname saidNot trying to start a cat fight here, but I really don't get it. I mean just because were gay doesn't mean we have to start calling each other "girl".
    I guess it bothers me because I feel that as gay men, we have to fight to protect our masculinity, and it doesn't help when guys are calling other guys "girl" just because we're gay.

    My BF and I were talking about it the other night (it bothers him to) so I was wondering what you guys think??

    Does it bother you when guys call other guys, "girl"?
    Do you do it yourself?
    Do you care at all?
    Do you think its cute, or a term of endearment??

    Let me know what's on your mind guys, what do you think??


    It bothers me
    I don't do it
    I care when it is done. It pisses me off
    I do not think it's in anyway cute
  • DanielQQ Posts: 365
    QUOTE Mar 19, 2009 9:43 PM GMT
    I never use it. i think it's stupid. ive been on a date before where i heard my date call his friends that or me that and it's an automatic turn-off.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Mar 19, 2009 9:46 PM GMT
    It creeps me out...
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Mar 19, 2009 9:51 PM GMT
    I've never used it either. I think it's really obnoxious and unnecessary. We're not girls. But people don't usually mean any harm by it, so I also think there are more important things to worry about.
  • OptimusMatt Posts: 1124
    QUOTE Mar 19, 2009 9:51 PM GMT
    When it's funny...of course.

    Is it a term I use past those 'funny moments'? Nope.

    *shrugs*

    Do I care if others call each other girl? Nope.

    Do I care if others call ME girl? Yup - I have a name. Know it if you wish to continue conversing with me.

    Unless, of course, you're calling me a whore. Can't really argue with that one, lol icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Mar 19, 2009 9:56 PM GMT
    Stolenname saidNot trying to start a cat fight here, but I really don't get it. I mean just because were gay doesn't mean we have to start calling each other "girl".
    I guess it bothers me because I feel that as gay men, we have to fight to protect our masculinity, and it doesn't help when guys are calling other guys "girl" just because we're gay.

    My BF and I were talking about it the other night (it bothers him to) so I was wondering what you guys think??

    Does it bother you when guys call other guys, "girl"?
    Do you do it yourself?
    Do you care at all?
    Do you think its cute, or a term of endearment??

    Let me know what's on your mind guys, what do you think??


    Bitch please! It's "gurl". You can add extra u's and r's for added emphasis if so desired and always remember the plural is "gurlz".

    And to answer the question, I can take it or leave it. It doesn't bother me and I've even been known to use it with friends on occasion when we're purposely trying to be obnoxious and annoying.
  • OptimusMatt Posts: 1124
    QUOTE Mar 19, 2009 10:00 PM GMT
    GuerrillaSodomite said


    And to answer the question, I can take it or leave it. It doesn't bother me and I've even been known to use it with friends on occasion when we're purposely trying to be obnoxious and annoying.



    BETCH please! Anyone who's ANYONE knows BETCH is the new 'gurrrlll'.
    *purses lips and does the head slither*
  • carew28 Posts: 453
    QUOTE Mar 19, 2009 10:00 PM GMT
    I've never used it, but some of my friends have, not very often, just once in awhile when they're trying to be funny or campy. It's just for fun, and maybe it reinforces group identity a little, like a private joke. They've never done it with strangers, only with good friends. I've heard straight guys, usually jocks or athletes, call each other "slut" or "bitch" as a joke, they think it's funny and I've never heard anyone get offended. I think it's an attempt at humor or camaraderie ,and when gay guys call each other "girl" it's pretty much the same thing.
  • boilerup_82 Posts: 188
    QUOTE Mar 19, 2009 10:03 PM GMT
    none of my gay friends say that and neither do I.
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    QUOTE Mar 19, 2009 10:07 PM GMT
    get over it, gurl, sometimes it's just effin' funny.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Mar 19, 2009 10:08 PM GMT
    BioMatty said
    GuerrillaSodomite said


    And to answer the question, I can take it or leave it. It doesn't bother me and I've even been known to use it with friends on occasion when we're purposely trying to be obnoxious and annoying.



    BETCH please! Anyone who's ANYONE knows BETCH is the new 'gurrrlll'.
    *purses lips and does the head slither*


    Ohmygawd, I'mtotallygonna betch slap you!
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Mar 19, 2009 10:10 PM GMT
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Mar 19, 2009 10:12 PM GMT
    I can't say the word "girl" spontaneously, it's awkward on the tongue, mouth just doesn't want to go that way...like the name Lara.

    Sometimes, I use the uberlame word "dude". I heard two gay men at the gym the other day calling each other gurl and betch, it was endearing and amusing.

    My best friend's roommate and I had an issue with each other because after I came out to her, she would tell her friends not to worry about me because I "wasn't a boy" or was "just like a girl". I understand that being gay may make a man less intimidating to a group of women, but it doesn't make him any less of a man.

    I hope that answers your question, sister-woman icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Mar 19, 2009 10:18 PM GMT
  • jlly_rnchr Posts: 1759
    QUOTE Mar 19, 2009 10:27 PM GMT
    Um, I don't use it, and no one calls me that. But if they did, and it was funny, I would laugh, and not assume he or she is challenging the masculinity of the homosexual population.

    It's just something people got in the habit of saying to each other, it's not really offensive in my opinion. Everyone in this thread is pretty much saying they don't use it anyway, so it can't be that common.

    I say "playa please" pretty often, and I see it as no different than that. Just a stupid thing people say for a laugh.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Mar 19, 2009 10:37 PM GMT
    Actually, it's a good way of establishing dominance over your friends and telling them that you are the Alpha male in the pack.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Mar 19, 2009 10:46 PM GMT
    Mary pa-lease! Get over yourself!
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Mar 19, 2009 10:54 PM GMT
    onmyway said

    I hope that answers your question, sister-woman icon_cool.gif


    That's Sistah-Gurl.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Mar 19, 2009 10:54 PM GMT
    Because it is fun. On rare occasions I will blurt a "girl!" out for effect. One of the interesting dynamics among minorities is self-deprication. I think it helps us get over ourselves a little.

    (*possible racist joke removed*)

    (if anyone is offended by the pic above let me know and I will remove it)

  • t0theheights Posts: 428
    QUOTE Mar 19, 2009 11:01 PM GMT
    Stolenname saidNot trying to start a cat fight here, but I really don't get it. I mean just because were gay doesn't mean we have to start calling each other "girl".
    I guess it bothers me because I feel that as gay men, we have to fight to protect our masculinity, and it doesn't help when guys are calling other guys "girl" just because we're gay.

    My BF and I were talking about it the other night (it bothers him to) so I was wondering what you guys think??

    Does it bother you when guys call other guys, "girl"?
    Do you do it yourself?
    Do you care at all?
    Do you think its cute, or a term of endearment??

    Let me know what's on your mind guys, what do you think??


    I don't think it's offensive or stupid to say "girl"; it is a way of referring to each other (versus "dude" or "man") that simply highlights the fact that gays are particularly free in their gender expression, i.e., if the situation calls for "girl," we're still comfortable using it--and are comfortable enough with our own sexual identity NOT to see this as a threat to our masculinity.

    Frankly, I think those who have a problem with "girl" are the ones with the issue, as they feel some need to defend their masculinity. A large part of the gay rights movement is showing the world that what it is to be a man goes beyond society's norms. I DON'T think I have to "defend" my masculinity just because I'm gay, nor does being gay threaten my manhood in any way. And I DON'T have to act a certain way or avoid using certain words just because "that's what a guy does" or "that's what it means to be masculine." The problem isn't the gays; it's a world that has a prejudiced and closed-minded view about what masculinity is and what being gay has to do with it. I support those who use expressions like "girl" and "honey" and "sweety" for helping to destroy these ignorant preconceived notions about so-called "masculinity."
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Mar 19, 2009 11:13 PM GMT
    sluggo_la saidget over it, gurl, sometimes it's just effin' funny.


    I am with sluggo on this one, besides if a gorgeous man as him can handle it I think all you other queens can to!!!! uh oh, did I say queens?


    seriously. my friends and I use it as a joke. My bf doesnt like it and we never use it. Him and his friends have used it as a joke before. Its just something comical I think. I even have some of the women at work call me that when they are talkin girl talk...then they apologize, haha I think its hilarious. Would I use it out in every day use in public.....hell no.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Mar 19, 2009 11:27 PM GMT
    I don't personally do it. I don't mind it. If I had to guess, I think it stems from the same source as what drives some people, ok, black people, to call other black people nigga. As in, niggah please, that gurl be choking the first two inches down her throat, you know i'm sayin?
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Mar 19, 2009 11:34 PM GMT
    I'll admit I use it when I'm joking around, specifically to one friend because she's really preppy and when she gets mad she acts like "Uh girlfriend oh hell no!" and I like to make fun of her.

    But other than that example..no I never say girl, or any form of such.