Canadians

  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Mar 23, 2009 5:45 PM GMT
    [quote]It's a little known fact that every Canadian citizen is born with a sharp, serrated edged somewhere on their body as protection from polar bears and enraged Quebecois.

    Every night they quietly hone their blades, biding their time until the great Curling, when they will cleanse the earth of all other nations. That's why they're all so polite - they know we're all doomed eventually. [/quote]

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    Mar 23, 2009 5:48 PM GMT
    Hehe that is funny.
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    Mar 23, 2009 6:11 PM GMT
    Yes and Anne Murray will lead their legions on the backs of magical flying winged moose. They also have retractable bone skates in their feet and use hockey sticks and curling stones instead of firearms. Celine Dion and Alan Thicke give them a communion of sanctified poutine before they fly into battle.

    Oh, and they cum maple syrup too. I'm still looking for a low carb variety.
  • EricLA

    Posts: 3461

    Mar 23, 2009 6:14 PM GMT
    What about the BLT sandwiches, eh?
  • UncleverName

    Posts: 741

    Mar 23, 2009 6:14 PM GMT
    So that's why my tail bone is so damn sharp!!!
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Mar 23, 2009 6:15 PM GMT
    Ryan Reynolds will using his icy sarcasm to herald in the next Ice Age, he took up the mantle from Michael J Fox when he fell ill.
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    Mar 23, 2009 6:19 PM GMT
    That doesn´t explain why they are all so hot

    hot+canadian+undies.jpg

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  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Mar 23, 2009 6:25 PM GMT
    Lostboy saidThat doesn´t explain why they are all so hot

    hot+canadian+undies.jpg

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    it's all part of their insidious plot
  • imperator

    Posts: 626

    Mar 23, 2009 6:41 PM GMT
    Timberoo said[quote]It's a little known fact that every Canadian citizen is born with a sharp, serrated edged somewhere on their body as protection from polar bears and enraged Quebecois.

    Every night they quietly hone their blades, biding their time until the great Curling, when they will cleanse the earth of all other nations. That's why they're all so polite - they know we're all doomed eventually.


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    Frankly I wish we could just get on with it; I'm tired of us having to constantly file off our antlers to "fit in."
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    Mar 23, 2009 9:20 PM GMT
    It's the art of being Canadian.

    We lull you into a false sense of superiority, let our enemies destroy themselves, or let foreign empires collapse in on themselves (*cough* ahem, US *cough*), and then when the time is right.... rivers of maple syrup shall flow, and Canadians shall inherit the earth.

    We may appear docile and passive, but it's only for show.

    It's the Canadian way.
  • OptimusMatt

    Posts: 1124

    Mar 23, 2009 9:27 PM GMT
    You don't wanna see me hopped up on poutine and beaver tails.

    I'LL F*CKIN CUTCHU, YO!

    Though you guys can have Dion back for Vegas. Snotty Quebecois bitch - I'd swap her for Cher!!

    hehe
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    Mar 23, 2009 9:34 PM GMT
    WOOOOO Canada Represent!!! I love Canada. If my country had an anthropomorphic representation as a guy I would get gay married to him and have sex 10 times a day.
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    Mar 23, 2009 9:57 PM GMT
    Ah, but they will turn on each other eventually ...and start by poisoning each others pets.
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    Mar 23, 2009 10:08 PM GMT
    Caslon9000 saidAh, but they will turn on each other eventually ...and start by poisoning each others pets.


    Gratuitous nasty (and frankly trashy) comment there... you delete to save your embarrassment and so will I. Can´t say fairer than that.
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    Mar 23, 2009 10:13 PM GMT
    Lost, always coming to the defense of Canadians... for that, you shall be allowed to live.
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    Mar 23, 2009 10:15 PM GMT
    Lostboy said
    Caslon9000 saidAh, but they will turn on each other eventually ...and start by poisoning each others pets.


    Gratuitous nasty (and frankly trashy) comment there... you delete to save your embarrassment and so will I. Can´t say fairer than that.

    Huh?
  • OptimusMatt

    Posts: 1124

    Mar 23, 2009 10:23 PM GMT
    MeOhMy saidLost, always coming to the defense of Canadians... for that, you shall be allowed to live.


    As our pet. icon_twisted.gif
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    Mar 23, 2009 10:46 PM GMT
    Caslon9000 said
    Lostboy said
    Caslon9000 saidAh, but they will turn on each other eventually ...and start by poisoning each others pets.


    Gratuitous nasty (and frankly trashy) comment there... you delete to save your embarrassment and so will I. Can´t say fairer than that.

    Huh?


    You know perfectly well that meninlove were the victims of homophobic abuse from a neighbour of theirs including his attempts to poison their dog, which you seem to find funny. You have mocked them about it before. I just think that ít´s in horribly poor taste. Mock their beards if you like or their giants snow shovels (which are, I suspect, very helpful in Canada), but ridicule the fact that they were persecuted for being gay? That´s just not on.

    Maybe you had totally forgotten all about it, but I find that hard to believe.

    I would like nothing more than for you to delete your original comment and this whole digression in the thread, and I will gladly get rid of my posts about it.
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    Mar 23, 2009 11:03 PM GMT
    Good lord, Lostboy! Well, if anybody didnt know about their personal affairs, they do now. I didnt say anything about them.

    You can leave your posts up there for all I care. I didnt publish all that about them. Good heavens, child! I am glad I dont have you "defending" me!
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    Mar 23, 2009 11:26 PM GMT
    Canadians rock!!!!!!!!!!!!icon_razz.gif
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    Mar 23, 2009 11:38 PM GMT
    austrocanadian saidCanadians rock!!!!!!!!!!!!icon_razz.gif



    I agree! It just sucks that it's next to impossible to move to Canada if you are from the United States. You might as well be moving to New Zealand. Even though I am less than 2 hours from the border, unless you are either a neurologist, a billionaire, or a 'registered Indian' of a First Nations, forget it. You'll never get citizenship. The gay marriage thing is great, but marrying a Canadian doesn't work the way it used to - you can't just marry someone and voila you get in.

    You know it's just so different now. Our grandparents/great-grandparents had this pioneering spirit, this adventure in them to move west or move north or go to the unknown; now, there is nowhere to go. Even those who moved west are trying to go somewhere else because they can't stand living in California anymore. The bohemians who made San Francisco and New York City the places to be are no longer - in another 20 years, all that will be left are sterile neighborhoods, sterile environments, corporate attorneys, executives, blah blah blah. The people who made those cities interesting will be priced out (the already are). Where are they now? Nobody really knows. America - some are dying to get the hell out (but can't because the requirements to go somewhere else have exceeded what most of us have in terms of money and education) and others who can't wait to come here but don't realize that it's not all it's cracked up to be. Maybe no country is. I do have a special love for Canada though. I don't know - it just seems much more live and let live...I live not far from Winnipeg which has one of the worst violence and robbery rates in Canada, so I guess you can't really escape that, but higher up in government at least it seems more tolerant of different people.
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    Mar 23, 2009 11:42 PM GMT
    David, I think you are being somewhat disingenuous. The issue was not the information, which they made public (and I will happily remove it if they would rather). It is your attitude towards it which has surfaced more than once, the last time nearly provoking them to leave the site. But you are well aware of that.

    I´m done.
  • allatonce

    Posts: 904

    Mar 23, 2009 11:46 PM GMT
    It will be oh so easy with Americans thinking THIS of us:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OVKlFT58Zwc
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    Mar 23, 2009 11:50 PM GMT
    I'm from Maine. Mainers are basically Canadians too, right?
  • dantoujours

    Posts: 378

    Mar 23, 2009 11:54 PM GMT
    What's wrong with enraged Québécois? They make the best lovers.