Gay Bashing...what would you do?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 24, 2009 7:13 PM GMT
    ABC is airing a segment, showing two gay actors in a sports bar, with a third actor behaving like a bigot. They are wondering if anyone steps in to assist the two gays:

    http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=7160193

    We all know what YOU would do, but do you think others (non-gays) would help?

  • Anto

    Posts: 2035

    Mar 24, 2009 8:03 PM GMT
    Was some of that really gay bashing though or just being irritated by a couple being loud and distracting?
    Also, why are they using that kind of stereotype to represent a gay couple? That was cool how the daytime people were defending them
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    Mar 24, 2009 9:28 PM GMT
    Yeah, I thought their portrayal was a little over the top. I think the straight couple was playing it more coolly (no shrieking with flowers & balloons, etc.). I'm not a huge fan of public displays of affection anyway, but I don't think there should be a double standard.

    The emphasis on the piece was to determine if anyone would step in to defend the gays, and I think one fellow did that nicely.
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    Mar 24, 2009 9:54 PM GMT
    If you want to act like a big mushy romantic wether homo/hetero find an appropriate place. My only response in a situation like that would be to tell that couple they should take it elsewhere. Both for their own safety and on behalf of the rest of the bar goers who probably don't enjoy the PDA show.
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    Mar 24, 2009 10:09 PM GMT
    that was a short report. must not show the whole thing online...
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    Mar 24, 2009 10:12 PM GMT
    I thought it was pretty over the top too. They would probably annoy me. But it's nice to know that someone stood up for them and told the loudmouth to shut up. And when he said he'd take four of them over one of him, other people cheered.
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    Mar 24, 2009 10:33 PM GMT
    [quote]

    We all know what YOU would do, but do you think others (non-gays) would help?

    [/quote]

    My experiences in Minneapolis, which has the 4th highest gay population in the United States in comparison to the population, taught me a few things - one being that if other gay people won't even come in to assist another gay person being bashed or harassed, nobody else will either. Almost all the gay clubs in Minneapolis are along Hennepin Avenue downtown, which rub elbows with the 'black' clubs and 'latin' clubs as well as strip bars. All three tend to attract the most sexist, uneducated, macho straight men who are more than willing to jack a well-dressed gay guy for whatever he's got in his wallet, his credit cards, whatever. They all seem to know that after midnight, the city cops are out tending to other things, and gay men are the easiest prey because the cops aren't going to respond. Since the gay guys appear to have had a few drinks, look like their rich by the way they're dressed (our own fault I think), all you have to do is walk down that avenue and take the wrong turn, and you've got three or four guys holding a knife to your throat or a gun to your head or throwing you to the ground and kicking your head in - just for fun. I've heard of gay men who outnumbered these kinds of guys who simply started walking in the other direction - didn't call anyone, didn't do anything. It was the gay guys fault for walking alone, right? It's not their problem so why should they care about him?

    I don't know what the answer is. I see one segment of the gay community who doesn't give a shit unless something is happening to themselves personally, and I see another very small segment who is trying to arrange safe travel between the two popular gay bars which sit 8 blocks from each other along Hennepin Avenue - but one must walk past these other clubs in order to get there. Because many of the gay guys going to the clubs are such rude bitches, most don't want to be seen with someone they don't know, so the whole 'walking in groups' thing kind of went out the window on day one. So much for trying to protect each other! I guess the more I saw of that, the less faith I had in gay men. Gay women, I think, would definitely stand up for each other and do whatever they had to in order to remain safe. But because gay men are so hellbent on looks, age, 'what can you do for me', etc., the sense of helping each other - even in the lowest common denominator (safety while walking to gay establishments) - that speaks volumes about what we really think of each other and how far we HAVEN'T come over the last four decades. If we are too embarrassed to be seen around other gay people, imagine what straight people really think about us when we aren't around. They're not any more enlightened than we are.
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    Mar 24, 2009 10:53 PM GMT

    I'd blast them with my powers!...

  • Tiller66

    Posts: 380

    Mar 25, 2009 8:23 PM GMT
    Well first I would like to say that I really don't care what other couples do in public as far as pdas as long as they are'nt doing the full make out.As far as standing up for them YES I would it would not matter to me what they were on the outside because we are all people that deserve respect.My last bf was a bit over sensitve about pdas even around my str8 friends who said more then once they did'nt care so I can't say my own actions have'nt been affected.I can say that sometimes I've actually seen some str8 couples being bothered by others when they get overly affectionate so it's not always gay couples and for the record I would stand up for them to.
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    Mar 26, 2009 8:42 AM GMT
    i agree there definitely is a double standard. i thought the actors went about it poorly though. they don't really have to antagonize anyone to get that kind of reaction (most of the time). on campus for instance we had an accounting TA and was talked about constantly and some of the stuff said, regrettably i never said anything in defense. but just like the gay actor in the video said, you pick your battles, and if u speak up ... what is it ur gonna prove? the best defense is being a pacifist. u DONT want to antagonize drunk people at a bar of all places.

    if the person is in physical danger, then yeah different story.
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    Mar 27, 2009 5:09 PM GMT
    I understand why people feel that it would be best not to speak up. However, bigots will never learn that they are not the majority unless people do speak up. You don't need to react violently, but I would certainly say in a calm tone that their comments are not welcome with me. When they consistently get away with rude behavior, they are empowered to continue on. They will be less likely to spew their venom if they know that no one wants to hear it.

    I have been able to calmly inform coworkers and strangers in the street who are behaving poorly towards others, that I do not appreciate their comments. I have never been attacked as a result of it. I have done this in defense of gays as well as people of other races and nationalities.

    While bullies may not learn tolerance of others as a result of our speaking up, they will certainly think twice about saying inappropriate things in mixed company.


    Seb26 said but just like the gay actor in the video said, you pick your battles, and if u speak up ... what is it ur gonna prove? the best defense is being a pacifist. u DONT want to antagonize drunk people at a bar of all places.

    if the person is in physical danger, then yeah different story.
  • nhnelson

    Posts: 113

    Mar 27, 2009 5:37 PM GMT
    It pains me that that's the way things must be. That dude at lunch was awesome though.
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    Mar 27, 2009 5:55 PM GMT
    pussy boy


    id kick some gay bashers ass!
  • irishboxers

    Posts: 357

    Mar 27, 2009 6:28 PM GMT
    DuluthMN said[quote]

    We all know what YOU would do, but do you think others (non-gays) would help?



    My experiences in Minneapolis, which has the 4th highest gay population in the United States in comparison to the population, taught me a few things - one being that if other gay people won't even come in to assist another gay person being bashed or harassed, nobody else will either. Almost all the gay clubs in Minneapolis are along Hennepin Avenue downtown, which rub elbows with the 'black' clubs and 'latin' clubs as well as strip bars. All three tend to attract the most sexist, uneducated, macho straight men who are more than willing to jack a well-dressed gay guy for whatever he's got in his wallet, his credit cards, whatever. They all seem to know that after midnight, the city cops are out tending to other things, and gay men are the easiest prey because the cops aren't going to respond. Since the gay guys appear to have had a few drinks, look like their rich by the way they're dressed (our own fault I think), all you have to do is walk down that avenue and take the wrong turn, and you've got three or four guys holding a knife to your throat or a gun to your head or throwing you to the ground and kicking your head in - just for fun. I've heard of gay men who outnumbered these kinds of guys who simply started walking in the other direction - didn't call anyone, didn't do anything. It was the gay guys fault for walking alone, right? It's not their problem so why should they care about him?

    I don't know what the answer is. I see one segment of the gay community who doesn't give a shit unless something is happening to themselves personally, and I see another very small segment who is trying to arrange safe travel between the two popular gay bars which sit 8 blocks from each other along Hennepin Avenue - but one must walk past these other clubs in order to get there. Because many of the gay guys going to the clubs are such rude bitches, most don't want to be seen with someone they don't know, so the whole 'walking in groups' thing kind of went out the window on day one. So much for trying to protect each other! I guess the more I saw of that, the less faith I had in gay men. Gay women, I think, would definitely stand up for each other and do whatever they had to in order to remain safe. But because gay men are so hellbent on looks, age, 'what can you do for me', etc., the sense of helping each other - even in the lowest common denominator (safety while walking to gay establishments) - that speaks volumes about what we really think of each other and how far we HAVEN'T come over the last four decades. If we are too embarrassed to be seen around other gay people, imagine what straight people really think about us when we aren't around. They're not any more enlightened than we are.[/quote]

    If I saw that happening up on Hennepin, I'd reach into my trunk and pull out the 5-iron, because I wouldn't care if I broke that club in the process of beating the s**t out of bashers. It wouldn't have crossed my mind that it could happen when I lived in LA, but now that I'm back in the Midwest it's like my gay Spidey-sense reactivated and my first reaction to a taunt is to throw a punch. Hasn't happened yet, but almost.

    Best way to make a bully stop is to beat the crap out of him.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 27, 2009 6:37 PM GMT
    Absolutely! I believe if straight people can display public affection we should be able to do the same thing. I would have trouble dating someone who is uncomfortable with it. I was raised in a large city and grew up in Los Angeles and in San Francisco where it is a diffrent world.
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    Mar 27, 2009 6:56 PM GMT
    I have yet to go to any bar and not bear witness to some kind of drama. This kind of falls into that camp for me. I think this video did not show me anything where I would have felt it necessary to intervene - and kudos for that guy who did speak up - it was spot on.

    I think people would be aware of their behavior, and be willing to accept responsibility for it. I say it looked over the top because the actors seemed to be inciting a reaction on purpose. But that is simply my observation on it, knowing what the video was about, and I could be wrong.

    There is no question I would have intervened if it had escalated into physical harassment or violent verbal abuse (a lot of cursing, hate language, threatening words). I have before, and only twice that I can recall, to diffuse situations without violence. It helped to know the bouncers, too (I am no Bruce Lee nor Urijah Faber, after all icon_smile.gif

    Everyone should feel safe, and there is a balance between personal responsibility, understanding the environment one is in, having fun, and defending oneself against criminals. I think I know what that balance is, because I've been fortunate to get along with just about everyone no matter where I may be, and understand some basic safety rules.
  • Delivis

    Posts: 2332

    Mar 27, 2009 7:57 PM GMT
    I would laugh and use it as an oppertunity to sharpen my wit with some choice clever insults that will no doubt go just above their heads.
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    Mar 27, 2009 8:35 PM GMT
    My first reaction to the video was: "Holy Shit...I know this bar, it's in Manville, NJ. Good food."

    Stop picking on Jersey. Manville is a typical, middle-class, hardworking blue collar town. This is NOT the place for a young gay couple to be celebrating. Try Asbury Park, The Den, or Philadelphia or NYC for that matter.

    You know, common sense goes a long way. You don't walk into Tony Soprano's bar and start making out in front of his Crew. Unless you want to end up somewhere in The Meadowlands (below Giant Stadium).

    Never think for one minute, despite all our "cultural advances", that their aren't always going to be people out there that wouldn't think twice about cracking my skull with a 2x4. It it fair? No. Is it reality? Yup.
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Mar 27, 2009 8:42 PM GMT
    Nobody speaks up, but it has nothing to do with gay, and everything to do with self preservation.

    A room of ****** people, someone makes a ++++++ joke, everyone shifts uncomfortably in their chairs.

    /You can use the following for the above statement:
    ******,+++++++
    straight, gay
    gay, staight
    Christian, Jewish
    Jewish, Christian
    White, Black
    Black, White

    It works the same in other countries that have different tensions. In India:
    High Caste, Low Caste
    Low Caste, High Caste
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    Mar 27, 2009 9:48 PM GMT
    So, let's put a gay couple in a bar with a gay basher and see what happens!

    It is good to see that TV journalism is the same tepid pool of bullshit it always was.
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    Mar 27, 2009 9:59 PM GMT
    I remember while working as a lumberjack. I was at the local pub one night, and I gave a cute guy a wink, from the other side of the bar.

    He went straight into a rage. He come screaming around the bar, about to kill me. Now there was a number of guys in that bar I worked with, before I knew it, I had a few standing in front of me, telling this guy:

    If you are going to fight with this guy, you have to fight me first, and then the next said: and then me and so on.

    So I have to say yes. I know a straight guy[s] would help!!
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Mar 27, 2009 10:37 PM GMT
    Oh_God saidI remember while working as a lumberjack.

    Did you work with this guy?
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    Mar 27, 2009 11:06 PM GMT
    MunchingZombie said...It is good to see that TV journalism is the same tepid pool of bullshit it always was.
    I remember some public service commercials from the 70s (and some radio spots too) that took this approach, except they featured blacks confronted by a bigot. As melodramatic as this journalism is, I'm sort of happy to see this issue being handled on this level. I'm feeling less invisible.
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    Mar 27, 2009 11:59 PM GMT
    mickeytopogigio said
    MunchingZombie said...It is good to see that TV journalism is the same tepid pool of bullshit it always was.
    I remember some public service commercials from the 70s (and some radio spots too) that took this approach, except they featured blacks confronted by a bigot. As melodramatic as this journalism is, I'm sort of happy to see this issue being handled on this level. I'm feeling less invisible.


    I only saw the clip and not the full thing. But the piece just stirs up some homophobia and says "Hey look, homophobes on tape" as if this were something exotic and hidden from most people.

    We already know that homophobes enable homophobia. This would have been a much more powerful piece had they actually tied it to actual homophobia. Give a statistic about hate crimes, show some bruised homos, maybe a chat with the Pink Pistols, talk to someone in prison for a hate crime showing his great remorse and change of heart and scene. Real actual homophobia instead of a group of actors making homophobia seem like a little harassment.

    That said, I do have to agree with your sentiment. It is nice that prime time news is talking about this.
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    Mar 28, 2009 3:43 AM GMT
    MunchingZombie saidSo, let's put a gay couple in a bar with a gay basher and see what happens!

    It is good to see that TV journalism is the same tepid pool of bullshit it always was.



    You are correct, sir. TV Journalism is pure make-believe, just like elves, gremlins and eskimos.