To The Guy That Mugged Me

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 24, 2009 7:25 PM GMT
    So I heard about this like months ago but I recently found it on another forum so I thought I'd share. - thoughts? Fake or not?

    To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah ) Posted on Craig's List Personals:

    I was the white guy with the black Burrberry jacket that you demanded I handover shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also
    asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come acrossthis message. I'd like to apologize.

    I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol after you took
    my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and
    it wasn't that cold outside. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber
    1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder
    holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating
    weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it?

    I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd
    come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it
    was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cellphone, and
    wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come
    help you try to mug us again. I took the liberty of calling your mother, or
    "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your
    situation. I also bought myself some gas on your card. I gave your shoes to
    one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the
    cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a dumpster.

    I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be on your
    bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel recently shut down the
    line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't
    know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your
    service. I was about to make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office
    with it. Oh well.

    So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you did
    this whole attempted mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm
    sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out. I'd like
    to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you
    use, and was it liquid or powder? I'd also like to apologize for not killing
    you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll
    reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky.
    If you read this message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry. Peace!

  • Anto

    Posts: 2035

    Mar 24, 2009 7:38 PM GMT
    Is the moral of the story that when someone attempts to mug you, commit as many criminal acts as possible against them when their gone and then brag about it anonymously online?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 25, 2009 12:13 AM GMT
    It's fake. And I believe it was originally from the Best of Craigslist. Check the site and I'm sure you'll find it there.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 25, 2009 12:24 AM GMT
    hmm I looked around the site before I posted so I wouldnt make a flop of a thread. Oh well lol. Its still funny though.
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    Mar 25, 2009 1:01 AM GMT

    Damn, the mugger was lucky. Had the guy blwon a hole in him with the 45 the police would have surely carried he and his date to dinner.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 25, 2009 1:16 PM GMT
    The moral of the story:

    Next time you mug someone, use a goddamn AK-47, foo.