After-The-Fact: Have you ever felt sorry for showing your weak side even to a person you trust?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 24, 2009 8:11 PM GMT
    A simple "yes" or "no" answer will do. Elaborations are most welcome, too.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 24, 2009 8:55 PM GMT
    Nope -- because I don't show it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 24, 2009 9:08 PM GMT
    Unfortunately, I think I'm pretty transparent.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 24, 2009 9:10 PM GMT
    To my first boyfriend, yes. Because he used it against me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 24, 2009 9:11 PM GMT
    yes...I regret it now cause it still hurts as we speak, and I don't want to do it again....ever again.
  • DanielQQ

    Posts: 365

    Mar 24, 2009 9:32 PM GMT
    I recently confided in someone who I thought might be a new close friend, told them some of my biggest weaknesses. Turns out, he had ulterior motives (he wanted to be boyfriends). When I told him I wasn't interested in that, he dumped me as a friend and started telling anyone who would listen that I was crazy.

    Just another lesson: Guard your secrets well. It's sad, but true: Most people can't be trusted.
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    Mar 24, 2009 9:34 PM GMT
    hell yes! never show someone you give a shit about what they do or say to u. It only gives the fuckers power. Be fierce, keep them at arms length
  • Tyinstl

    Posts: 353

    Mar 24, 2009 9:38 PM GMT
    Pretty much every time.

    But you still have to do it, you know? Sure, if you never trust anyone you won't get hurt (kind of), but you will never know the joy of someone knowing you.
  • xKorix

    Posts: 607

    Mar 24, 2009 9:58 PM GMT
    "...showing your weak side even to a person you trust?"

    Uhh isn't that called 'Intimacy'?
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    Mar 24, 2009 10:04 PM GMT
    Of all my true friends and boyfriends that I have eventually trusted enough to allow myself to be vulnerable to, only two have ever used it against me. Both were boyfriends. One did it right after we broke up, one did it and it caused the end of that relationship.

    I still have that 'Anne Frank' attitude that people are generally good, I'm just more cautious now.

    What I find funny, is that guys will be insulted that I won't open up to them after they've already lied to me or told that they have previously broken the confidence of or taken advantage of someone else.

  • OptimusMatt

    Posts: 1124

    Mar 24, 2009 10:04 PM GMT
    I am not so jaded that I am unwilling to show my weak side. However...I'm a 'beta' kind of guy - until I find the 'alpha' to my beta...I'm closed off.

    And my..spiritual beliefs...are best kept to myself.
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    Mar 24, 2009 10:07 PM GMT
    I forget, is the weak side in front or in back?
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    Mar 24, 2009 10:12 PM GMT
    I have done it very very rarely, but no - anyone who would try to use something like that against me would most likely get nowhere and possibly end up regretting even trying it.
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    Mar 24, 2009 10:29 PM GMT
    Not always. And if it happens, i learn from the experience and remember not to trust that person again
    But i think you can use your vulnerability and honesty as your strengths, because nobody can call you out on anything.
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    Mar 24, 2009 10:38 PM GMT
    For me, it's not a matter of fear of being hurt, it's a matter of respect. I have a great deal of trouble respecting people who I think of as emotionally weak. Don't know why, but that's the way it is....and therefore I don't allow myself the luxury of sharing my own vulnerabilities. We all have them, of course, but in my mind, self-respect means keeping some things to oneself.
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    Mar 24, 2009 10:47 PM GMT
    showing one's weak side can be a tool for control, if you know how ppl will react to it.
    and besides which, im openly candid and honest to all, and am an open book. only thing is some ppl don't read the language its written in lol. but yeah i know my weaknesses and flaws... and i make sure whoever i'm dating does too, so they know what they're getting into lol. i spent years in the closet and i don't ever wanna feel compelled to hide anything again, fearing others will find out, u know?

    never regretted it. no one's been able to use it against me. you see, in putting it out there, it ceases to become weakness. yes, its still a bundle of sensitivity or flaws as the case may be, but in owning it, and not being ashamed of it all, others loose the power to affect you through it.
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    Mar 24, 2009 10:51 PM GMT
    Franko85 saidyes...I regret it now cause it still hurts as we speak, and I don't want to do it again....ever again.


    agreed
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 24, 2009 10:52 PM GMT
    You should never feel remorseful for displaying a human emotion. The fact that you'd express yourself openly in front of another is upstanding.

    Unless of course, they use it against you...then yes, regret away
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    Mar 24, 2009 10:57 PM GMT
    czarodziej saidshowing one's weak side can be a tool for control, if you know how ppl will react to it.
    and besides which, im openly candid and honest to all, and am an open book. only thing is some ppl don't read the language its written in lol. but yeah i know my weaknesses and flaws... and i make sure whoever i'm dating does too, so they know what they're getting into lol. i spent years in the closet and i don't ever wanna feel compelled to hide anything again, fearing others will find out, u know?

    never regretted it. no one's been able to use it against me. you see, in putting it out there, it ceases to become weakness. yes, its still a bundle of sensitivity or flaws as the case may be, but in owning it, and not being ashamed of it all, others loose the power to affect you through it.


    In that case, you're making a conscious decision and effort to put it out there. In capitalizing on it, taking ownership of it, you control it -- and that's cool. I suppose I should have made that distinction in my answer.

    Hmmm....maybe I just have control issues, and have problems with people who don't. icon_neutral.gif
  • HorrorHound

    Posts: 1435

    Mar 24, 2009 10:59 PM GMT
    Yes. Cuz I have shown it to my now current ex, and I regret it. Giving him that power....

    icon_evil.gif
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    Mar 25, 2009 12:05 AM GMT
    this is precisely the reason psychiatry et al are such thriving disciplines in the western world. for every how are you? one expects, i am great, and nothing less. back home in russia we laugh and cry and trust and get burnt and heal along the way. i haven't even learnt the word depression until i moved to canada at 21. i think it's important to be true to your feelings and express them. otherwise how would you even gain the real trust of someone....
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    Mar 25, 2009 12:10 AM GMT
    Oh Yes.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 25, 2009 2:05 AM GMT
    For me in many ways this question in tales a paradox!

    I have to say no I don't show it, yet I'm transparent.
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    Mar 25, 2009 2:14 AM GMT
    Your only weak side is the one that is ashamed of yourself. If you can be who you are and not be affected by what others think you are, that is strength. It is the guys that think that not showing emotion is toughness that are the weakest because they are so fearful of their own emotions. It is fine letting people in a personal setting know how you feel about things

    On the other hand, letting your emotions control you is not good either. In work settings it can also be wise in not divulging too much personal information for strategic reasons.

    I wonder just what it is that people think is their weakness?
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    Mar 25, 2009 2:22 AM GMT
    ActiveAndFit saidYour only weak side is the one that is ashamed of yourself. If you can be who you are and not be affected by what others think you are, that is strength. It is the guys that think that not showing emotion is toughness that are the weakest because they are so fearful of others. It is fine letting people in a personal setting know how you feel about things

    On the other hand, letting your emotions control you is not good either. In work settings it can also be wise in not divulging too much personal information for strategic reasons.

    I wonder what people think is their weakness?


    There maybe truth in your words for some, but not all.

    I am me. You know I really don't give a rats ass, what people think of me, and I don't seek their approval, or take on their disapprove; issues.

    I just don't wear my heart on my sleeve. yet I'm an open book.