Kids....

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 26, 2009 7:09 AM GMT
    How many of you want kids?

    I've always wanted a family of my own. I can't get over the thought of me and my guy raising kids together. This may be something weird to most, but me and my guy talk about our future family all the time. We even have a name for our first child! My sister has kids and I helped raise them, i even buy the boys clothes that look like mine so we can match.



    My main point here is to see if you guys think about family and kids. Many gay guys I talk to hate kids and will be fine either alone or just content with having one person around as their family


    What are your thoughts of kids?
  • ShawnTX

    Posts: 2484

    Mar 26, 2009 12:33 PM GMT
    I've always wanted 4 kids, although realistically, I doubt I'll have even 1. I guess it's not something really worth thinking about until I meet 'the one' (I wouldn't adopt as a single person).

    At the same time, I like having money and freedom, so maybe I should just stick with plants! icon_biggrin.gif
  • CincyBOJ

    Posts: 306

    Mar 26, 2009 12:43 PM GMT
    I have 3 kids. 15.5,14 and 11. I think 3 is a good number to have because then you, your partner plus your children can fit into almost any car. lol.

    My daughter is almost 16 and is learning to drive. She is my overachiever. The boys will have to wait until they are 16 (laws change). 14 y.o. boy loves soccer and skateboardinng. Youngest boy musically gifted and is a character.

    My mom has told me, "I hope you keep your hair long enough for them to turn it as gray as you turned mine.......3 times over." LOL.

    I feel very luck to have them. I've always wanted kids.
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    Mar 26, 2009 12:46 PM GMT
    I definitely would like kids, but I think I'll have to move back to the UK for that to happen.
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    Mar 26, 2009 12:48 PM GMT
    2 kids..6 years from now
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    Mar 26, 2009 12:49 PM GMT
    i want kids in the future when im older,

    but i dont think i would want a "partner" to adopt them with.

    ive learned from my childhood men dont stay. and to make these kids have a father figure that could possibly leave or treat us bad isnt worth it.
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Mar 26, 2009 12:51 PM GMT
    I love kids. I have four nieces and one nephew. I love them all to bits. One of my sisters lives close by, and she has two of my nieces, and my nephew. They are like a son and daughters to me. I even got a fathers day card from them once. When I was depressed and things felt hopeless, they were my reason for living. While I would love kids of my own, I have the next best thing.
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    Mar 26, 2009 1:00 PM GMT
    i love kids, would love to skip the first 6 months though, maybe...
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    Mar 26, 2009 1:03 PM GMT
    I love other people's kids. Right now, I can't foresee a circumstance in which I would want children of my own but I would love to spoil the shit out of my brother's future children.

    But then, that is how I feel right now and in five years I could be bringing home a baby for the first time.

    Two books on the subject I enjoyed:
    The Velveteen Father
    Dan Savage's The Kid
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    Mar 26, 2009 1:06 PM GMT
    None for me, thanks.
    My life's mission is providing a home for dogs nobody else will adopt.
    Kids would just distract from and probably impede that.
    Could justify adoption, however, but I'd be doing it for the kid(s), not me.
    ...the same way I happily make sacrifices for the dogs.

    Here's an article about the subject potential parents should review.
    http://www.newsweek.com/id/143792/page/1

    Teaser excerpt:
    "...marital satisfaction decreases dramatically after the birth of the first child—and increases only when the last child has left home. He also ascertains that parents are happier grocery shopping and even sleeping than spending time with their kids."
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Mar 26, 2009 1:07 PM GMT
    I thought I wanted kids, but now I think I'm too old. I also worry I wouldn't be a good father.
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    Mar 26, 2009 1:10 PM GMT
    I want 2 kids. Having a family is really important to me. I was raised as part of one of the most amazing families ever! I have such great memories that I want to pass along to my kids.
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    Mar 26, 2009 1:21 PM GMT


    Kids are great. At our ages, adoption's not an option. I write children's stories, and the kids that like 'em express appreciation in a way that's uncluttered and direct.

    -Doug
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    Mar 26, 2009 1:54 PM GMT
    My wife and I made a conscious decision to not have children, and we have no regrets.
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Mar 26, 2009 1:58 PM GMT
    meninlove said

    Kids are great. At our ages, adoption's not an option. I write children's stories, and the kids that like 'em express appreciation in a way that's uncluttered and direct.

    -Doug


    Are your stories published? And if so are they available in Ireland or on line?
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    Mar 26, 2009 2:15 PM GMT



    One published in the US in hardcover. Seven more to come (second one now illustrated). I'll email you...

    -Doug
  • mrt88

    Posts: 5

    Mar 26, 2009 2:28 PM GMT
    I defiantly want children in the future, 3 or 4 would be perfect. Having a family is quite important to me and I would like to start having them before I'm 30. First though I would like to be married, have a home and be able to afford children.

    However I often wonder if it would selfish for me to have children. Having 2 gay parents may be cause for them to be picked on in school, children can be very cruel. Furthermore being harassed at school can lead to a whole host of mental problems, low self-esteem being a major one. I would like to think that we live in a world in which this would not happen, but that would just be naive for one to think. I ponder this topic from time to time, it will just have to be discussed by my partner and I (when I get one that is haha).
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    Mar 26, 2009 2:32 PM GMT
    Never. I don't want stretch-marks.
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    Mar 26, 2009 2:35 PM GMT
    I have 3....20 yr old son that is a marine, 18 yr old daughter and a 9 yr old son. Kids are a huge responsibility. I think most men or gay men especially dont want to have children because it means giving up alot of personal time and etc. Your life is no longer your own.

    I wouldnt trade my kids for anything. They are my best friends, and when I have been at my lowest in life....they have always been there even when they didnt know. They love my partner and he and the 9 yr old are 2 peas in a pod. Cant separate em. He even calls my 9 yr old his son...so sweet.

    I hope all of you that want to have children take it seriously because even though its alot of sacrifice.....nothing is as rewarding as the unconditional love of a child.

  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Mar 26, 2009 2:41 PM GMT
    mikes39 saidNever. I don't want stretch-marks.


    we can rub you down with cocoa butter several times a day
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    Mar 26, 2009 2:50 PM GMT
    I signed a contract with myself when I was younger, saying that I would never have any children because I was so miserable growing up. Personally, I think the purpose of me being gay was that I wouldn't sire any children, but could then help other children who need someone to love them. Kids seem to be drawn to me, probably because I'm so immature, and I like kids. I would consider adoption or foster parenting but I wouldn't do it on my own. For now I volunteer with a youth group that I grew up with, and I really enjoy mentoring the kids and watching them learn and achieve their goals.
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    Mar 26, 2009 3:00 PM GMT
    MikePhilPerez saidI love kids. I have four nieces and one nephew. I love them all to bits. One of my sisters lives close by, and she has two of my nieces, and my nephew. They are like a son and daughters to me. I even got a fathers day card from them once. When I was depressed and things felt hopeless, they were my reason for living. While I would love kids of my own, I have the next best thing.

    I agree 100%, except I call mine (3 nieces and a nephew) my babies. It confuses people at work who think a 23 year old has 4 kids, one in kindergarten two in pre-school, and one in diapers.
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    Mar 26, 2009 3:06 PM GMT
    I do!
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    Mar 26, 2009 3:12 PM GMT
    But if I did, I'd want to be a great parent....just like Bing Crosby and Joan Crawford.
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    Mar 26, 2009 3:22 PM GMT
    I have seriously been considering it lately.
    A friend of mine adopted a 5 yo troubled girl a few years back and he has been such an amazing father to her that she has completely transformed. There is an agency in town that helps gay couples and singles adopt kids that are otherwise unwanted. It is inspiring me to think about adopting a child that is being pushed around and lost in the system.