Would you pack up, leave your home, leave your career, and move to another city for a man

  • silverfox

    Posts: 3178

    Mar 28, 2009 3:38 AM GMT
    I have never been in this situation (yet) but I wonder if I have the strength to give up just about everything for someone I was in love with. Would I lose myself?

    Any one out there have insight? Care to share? I know it is a kind of heavy topic but something I have been thinking about....

    Thanks guys....
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    Mar 28, 2009 3:46 AM GMT
    Yes...did that and do not regret it. Moved continents...
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    Mar 28, 2009 3:51 AM GMT
    Personally, I would never leave unless it was for myself. I would need to visualize myself living in that new city on my own. Only then would the other man enter the picture.

    I have seen way too many hearts broken ( gay and straight) to ever let someone influence me in this manner. I'm always the shoulder those fleeting hearts come crying to, and it just isn't worth it.

    Sorry Bud, no flip flopping on this one.icon_neutral.gif

  • silverfox

    Posts: 3178

    Mar 28, 2009 3:55 AM GMT
    26mileman said

    I have seen way to many hearts broken ( gay and straight) to ever let someone influence me in this manner. I'm always the shoulder those fleeting hearts come crying to, and it just isn't worth it.

    Sorry Bud, no flip flopping on this one.icon_neutral.gif



    It is interesting that you use the word "influence".

    Let me take it a step further for you mileman....

    You move to your dream city. You find your man. You set up a life together. Your man's job takes him somewhere else. Are you saying you would not follow under any circumstances?
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    Mar 28, 2009 3:58 AM GMT
    This is why I don't dig on long distance relationships. Eventually the time is going to come when one of you will have to move.

    Also, I think the older you get, the more settled and established you are. So packing up and moving to another city can be a miserable experience. You're basically starting over from scratch.
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    Mar 28, 2009 4:55 AM GMT
    Nope..but he could move for me icon_lol.gif Yes, I know I am selfish and stuck in my ways, but really love my career and where I live so don't think I could make the adjustment, seems like a big risk to me.
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    Mar 28, 2009 5:17 AM GMT
    depends on what city he is in. but probably not.

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    Mar 28, 2009 5:22 AM GMT
    Well, I have done it. I met a guy through friends a long time ago. Yea, it was risky, but it was the right thing to do. The way we made the decision: Weighed family, careers, finances, what each city had to offer us as individuals and as a couple and in the end, I chose to make the move (It was San Diego, people) and he made significantly more than I did and I was just starting out. My area was not a good match for his career, but his was for mine. So he came back here (flew out) helped me pack and we drove cross country. That I will never forget, seeing the country together. We lasted 7 years before two major events happened. My mom got really sick (cancer) and would not allow me to bring her to California and within a week, my husband got a ridiculously great, once in a lifetime offer (job) overseas. We were both crushed, about the job and more so about my mom. In the end, I moved back to take care of my mom (only child to her) and insisted after much soul searching for him to take the job (in Germany. Because of my mom's situation, we decided to end the relationship. Yea it was the most difficult thing I had to do, letting him go, but it was the right thing to do. He is still overseas having a great life and I am nothing but happy for him. I have been single since then (been about 14 years), but would I do it again with someone else? Absolutely!
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    Mar 28, 2009 5:43 AM GMT
    I would do it, you only live once and missed opportunities can lead to regret.
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    Mar 28, 2009 6:04 AM GMT

    Dear Sally,

    Yes, you know I would risk it all. If that would all be a mistake, then it will be a mistake I will make, and no one else's.

    Love,
    Felicity

    felicity_l.jpgp.s. Stop starin' at my arse, theonslaught! icon_mad.gif
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    Mar 28, 2009 6:06 AM GMT
    recently tried that... too many factors to work out.
  • subybilly

    Posts: 40

    Mar 28, 2009 6:08 AM GMT
    It would def. depend on the situation, but I may if things were righticon_smile.gif
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    Mar 28, 2009 6:08 AM GMT
    Did it once... will never do it again!
  • junknemesis

    Posts: 682

    Mar 28, 2009 6:10 AM GMT
    If I love him, and he loves me, I will weigh the information. However in my current situation there isn't a whole lot keeping me here. I would go anywhere for a guy I love.

    Heck, if we just had a budding friendship and there was a really good possibility for something more, I would move for him.
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    Mar 28, 2009 6:14 AM GMT
    For the right guy of course.
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    Mar 28, 2009 6:41 AM GMT
    I have, and will NEVER again. I wont even discuss it. I've been asked a couple times to move for someone, and I refuse to no matter how strong the feelings. Once that mistake is made, you'd be an idiot to do it again!
  • dannyboy1101

    Posts: 977

    Mar 28, 2009 6:52 AM GMT
    Yeah, if we're significantly established as a relationship. If I were in love, I think I would, but I'm sure I would be scared.
  • stevendust

    Posts: 398

    Mar 28, 2009 6:54 AM GMT
    I would leave those things for me. If the guy was right for me then yes.
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    Mar 28, 2009 7:18 AM GMT
    26mileman saidPersonally, I would never leave unless it was for myself. I would need to visualize myself living in that new city on my own. Only then would the other man enter the picture.

    I have seen way too many hearts broken ( gay and straight) to ever let someone influence me in this manner. I'm always the shoulder those fleeting hearts come crying to, and it just isn't worth it.

    Sorry Bud, no flip flopping on this one.icon_neutral.gif


    NAWWW DAMN IT I JUST FINISHED INSTALLING THE SWING!!!!!!!!

    depense, I'm not adverse to moving somewhere else anyway.. so.. if he really felt like the right one (ie, more then 6 months, more like ya know a few years together or something)
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    Mar 28, 2009 8:26 AM GMT
    I was just asked to move to MIAMI a month ago.

    I said no, never, ever for a guy who I haven't even lived with; even if I love him, it's not a possibility for me.
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    Mar 28, 2009 9:07 AM GMT
    Hell no.
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    Mar 28, 2009 9:16 AM GMT
    stranger things have ocurred in my life....so anything is possible, though I would have to say that if I was ever to do such a thing I would have to have my own space(breathing room, privacy, independence, safety haven etc)....I have come to love/cherish/appreciate my solitude, but in the pursuit of love comes change, and sacrifice....but I am sure that the reward(s) would be beautifull....my advice for all of those who are at the crossroads of making this type of change would be: how will you know if its the right decision unless you have tried?...if what you are feeling is "true love"(and you would know if it really is) the only way you would know is if you take a chance...so dont turn your back on love...you may not get a second chance....I wish all of you lovers many happy, exciting, fullfilling adventuresicon_wink.gif
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    Mar 28, 2009 9:19 AM GMT
    Hell, I live in a major GAY city and I can't find anyone here I want to date so if it's a choice between moving for someone I loved and sitting here waiting to, by chance, find a guy here.....I'm moving!

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    Mar 28, 2009 9:22 AM GMT

    Place isn't a major problem. But career is , he'd better pack up and leave his home for me..
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    Mar 28, 2009 9:36 AM GMT
    You mean to get as far away from his as possible?