Would you use the women's restroom?

  • InsatiableBlo...

    Posts: 442

    Mar 28, 2009 4:59 PM GMT
    This may sound absolutely absurd, but Im writing a paper about social norms for my Sociology class and I learned that there is no law (in Tennessee) regarding which gender uses the socially correct restroom.
    At Play Dance Bar in Nashville men and women share restrooms all the time and gender is not an issue there, so why is it in public? What about transgendered people, what restroom do they use? Should we resort to men and women sharing restrooms? In many ways restrooms are "seperate but equal".
    (ok, please don't beat me!)
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Mar 28, 2009 5:01 PM GMT
    I have entered a convenience store in the past and need to use the restroom. At times there can be a line at the men's ... or someone who "camps" in there. I have and WILL use the women's restroom rather than just stand there. I have things to do. If someone stares.. who cares?
  • InsatiableBlo...

    Posts: 442

    Mar 28, 2009 5:19 PM GMT
    ....any other (brave) takers?
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    Mar 28, 2009 5:28 PM GMT
    I've been in public men's restrooms when women will come in to use a stall, often explaining that there's a waiting line at the women's. I've never heard a man complain, though a few of us exchanged some surprised glances. And I would fully expect that in many locales, a man who did the same thing in the ladies restroom would be arrested, Tennessee notwithstanding.

    In fact, one time in Mall of America at Minneapolis, the largest shopping mall in the US, I quickly rushed into a large restroom that had no door, just a maze entrance like you see in airports. I couldn't see where the urinals were, but in my urgency I just went into a stall.

    A moment later I heard several female voices, and immediately realized I must have gone into the ladies restroom by mistake. What to do? Wait until they left, or would more women enter, keeping me trapped in that stall indefinitely? And what if one of them noticed my man's shoes & pants, visible under the stall door & partition?

    I zipped up, took a deep breath, and threw the stall door open, saying as I raced for the exit: "Sorry ladies, I got the wrong one!"

    I kept going at a jog, fearing the Mall police might have been alerted, not stopping until I reached the Rainforest Cafe, if you know it there. I ducked into their bar, and had 2 gin martinis in quick succession until I had calmed down. I wasn't arrested.

    Another place in Minneapolis-St Paul was a lesbian club called the Metro, now closed. They had exclusive women's restrooms for the ladies, but only a Unisex for the men. It was the first time I had to pee in front of women in a public place.

    But I must admit I've also been in gay clubs that had no separate restroom for women, who had to use the men's along with the rest of us. Of course it's often difficult for me to know if the ladies in there are really females, or drag queens, or trannies, or what.
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    Mar 28, 2009 5:31 PM GMT
    Don't you love it when you are in a public space, like a theater, and the line for the womans bathroom goes on for miles, but there is No line for the mens room.

    Ah, the benefits of being a guy!
  • InsatiableBlo...

    Posts: 442

    Mar 28, 2009 5:39 PM GMT
    Red_Vespa saidI've been in public men's restrooms when women will come in to use a stall, often explaining that there's a waiting line at the women's. I've never heard a man complain, though a few of us exchanged some surprised glances. And I would fully expect that in many locales, a man who did the same thing in the ladies restroom would be arrested, Tennessee notwithstanding.



    So, when you say "Tennessee notwithstanding" you mean that you can get arrested for going into the women's restroom? If it's not illegal, how can you get arrested for it?


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    Mar 28, 2009 5:55 PM GMT
    InsatiableBloom saidSo, when you say "Tennessee notwithstanding" you mean that you can get arrested for going into the women's restroom? If it's not illegal, how can you get arrested for it?

    "Notwithstanding" roughly means "in spite of." So that "in spite of the fact" that the state of Tennessee has no specific law against the sharing of restrooms, it would still be a violation in other states that have such laws. OK?

    And honestly, do you really think that the police in Tennessee wouldn't respond to a complaint, if a man was found in a women's restroom? A judge might eventually be forced to dismiss the charge, on the legal basis you state, but how many Tennessee police wouldn't automatically assume it was a violation, and haul the guy's ass out of the ladies restroom and charge him? And maybe they'd use a Peeping Tom charge, or some other legal ploy to nail the guy. Don't assume too much when it comes to a matter of law.
  • InsatiableBlo...

    Posts: 442

    Mar 28, 2009 6:13 PM GMT
    Red_Vespa said
    InsatiableBloom saidSo, when you say "Tennessee notwithstanding" you mean that you can get arrested for going into the women's restroom? If it's not illegal, how can you get arrested for it?

    "Notwithstanding" roughly means "in spite of." So that "in spite of the fact" that the state of Tennessee has no specific law against the sharing of restrooms, it would still be a violation in other states that have such laws. OK?

    And honestly, do you really think that the police in Tennessee wouldn't respond to a complaint, if a man was found in a women's restroom? A judge might eventually be forced to dismiss the charge, on the legal basis you state, but how many Tennessee police wouldn't automatically assume it was a violation, and haul the guy's ass out of the ladies restroom and charge him? And maybe they'd use a Peeping Tom charge, or some other legal ploy to nail the guy. Don't assume too much when it comes to a matter of law.


    THATS WHEN YOU CALL THE ACLU ON THEIR ASS!
    I hate how cops think they can do anything they want. Regardless, if any gay man used the women's restroom why/how could they be charged with being a "Peeping Tom"?
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    Mar 28, 2009 6:41 PM GMT
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Mar 28, 2009 6:49 PM GMT
    The place where a man is willing to "use the bathroom" is in direct proportion to the urgency of his need to go.

    Many restaurants and bars in San Francisco have co-ed bathrooms.
    The last I checked, most homes do, too. LOL.
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    Mar 28, 2009 6:55 PM GMT
    InsatiableBloom saidI hate how cops think they can do anything they want. Regardless, if any gay man used the women's restroom why/how could they be charged with being a "Peeping Tom"?

    Very simply: laws against being a Peeping Tom make no distinction based on orientation, but are grounded merely on gender difference. A gay man charged as a Peeping Tom against women would have to claim a precedent-setting exception to the law, which a court might choose not to recognize.

    Such a favorable ruling would open the door to straight men who are charged as Peeping Toms, who might claim to be gay in order to avoid conviction. And then the courts would have to set guidelines to legally establish who is legitimately gay and who is not. No courts are going to open that can of worms. Nor do I think women's groups would support the concept that gay men can spy on them freely, while straight men cannot.

    But tell you what: why don't you, as a gay man, start going to women's restrooms in Tennessee, and see what happens? Are you game? If not, then I think your legalistic point fails.
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    Mar 29, 2009 2:10 AM GMT

    I have used the women's restroom on accident, was in a hurry and just rushed in without reading the sign. I remember thinking after exiting and realizing my blunder, "Whoa, that was cool."

    Women's restrooms are always cleaner and a lovely pink or peachy color too and they smell of all that pretty smellin stuff woman wear: all them tropical body spritzers and such.
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    Mar 29, 2009 2:13 AM GMT
    I've only ever used the women's washroom in a gay club.
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    Mar 29, 2009 2:17 AM GMT
    At my undergrad ALL the bathrooms in the dorms were co-ed. The toilet areas actually tended to be kept cleaner than most men's rooms (I'm assuming the guys realized that the girls would judge them if they made a mess?) and nobody seemed to feel uncomfortable coming and going from the showers wrapped in only their towels. The only two awkward moments I had were

    1. One of my female hallmates opened the shower curtain to get her towel off the hook not realizing I was in the process of coming out of the stall directly across from hers and flashed her fully naked self to me. We both just stared at eachother in shock...

    2. Another female hallmate was defecating in the toilet stall next to me one morning and I had to use the toilet in the stall next to hers. She recognized my shoes and struck up conversation....

    Edit: So to answer the question, I would have no problem using the women's rest room, provided the women didn't mind. I know one time when I was 6 or 7 my mom took me into a restroom with her in a crowded area and some lady objected and actualy told my mother that I shouldn't be there because it was inappropriate.
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    Mar 29, 2009 2:26 AM GMT
    skifan08 saidAt my undergrad ALL the bathrooms in the dorms were co-ed. The toilet areas actually tended to be kept cleaner than most men's rooms (I'm assuming the guys realized that the girls would judge them if they made a mess?) and nobody seemed to feel uncomfortable coming and going from the showers wrapped in only their towels. The only two awkward moments I had were

    1. One of my female hallmates opened the shower curtain to get her towel off the hook not realizing I was in the process of coming out of the stall directly across from hers and flashed her fully naked self to me. We both just stared at eachother in shock...

    2. Another female hallmate was defecating in the toilet stall next to me one morning and I had to use the toilet in the stall next to hers. She recognized my shoes and struck up conversation....

    Edit: So to answer the question, I would have no problem using the women's rest room, provided the women didn't mind. I know one time when I was 6 or 7 my mom took me into a restroom with her in a crowded area and some lady objected and actualy told my mother that I shouldn't be there because it was inappropriate.


    You went to Vassar huh?
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    Mar 29, 2009 2:28 AM GMT
    chungo44 said
    You went to Vassar huh?


    Good guess! Have you visited?
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    Mar 29, 2009 2:32 AM GMT
    It's not a ladies room when I use it!
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    Mar 29, 2009 2:33 AM GMT
    Only if it's brand new and has not been used by a woman yet.
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    Mar 29, 2009 2:48 AM GMT
    Above all, it's important to keep the women out of the men's room. Before you know it, they'll fill it up and there will be a line there too.

    But... where I used to work, one day the janitors left the inner and outer doors propped open to the women's room. We males were stunned. It was like a freakin lounge in there. They had couches and their own fricken coffee machine! At least four times the size of the men's room. We'd worked there for years without suspecting.

    They've probably got the plans for world domination pinned up on the wall as well.
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    Mar 29, 2009 2:50 AM GMT
    I had once went to a Wendy's and went into a bathroom, came out, only to see it say "Women" I only read the "men" part. Whoops!

    Other than that..no I would never use the women's restroom.
  • DrewT

    Posts: 1327

    Mar 29, 2009 2:53 AM GMT
    I've used them before, but its mostly in gay clubs/bar where it really doesn't matter. And really, the only difference is the words and symbols on the door.
  • iCute23

    Posts: 76

    Mar 29, 2009 3:35 AM GMT
    When I was debating during a case with my fellow jurors in the jury room, the two females didn't have any problems if we used the women's restroom. Guess which of us men used it first? icon_redface.gif

    (I wasted two weeks of great income! icon_evil.gif )
  • jlly_rnchr

    Posts: 1759

    Mar 29, 2009 3:50 AM GMT
    When I was drinking (too much) on the women's side of my floor in college, I was forced to vomit in the women's bathroom a couple of times.

    Otherwise, I don't think I've ever been in there. But if a men's room was out of order or something, I'd likely have no qualms going in the ladies room.
  • oceanblue

    Posts: 7

    Mar 29, 2009 3:59 AM GMT
    I've seen women brazen enough to use men's dressing rooms while they were in use by men and using men's bathrooms without blinking an eye. The sneers you get when you walk out of a woman's bathroom and happen to have an audience. You'd think they never took that liberty.
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    Mar 29, 2009 4:00 AM GMT
    I ran a mountain relay race and the stations had gender specific porta potties..WTF?

    Anyhow, my team member ( a woman), wasn't prepared to wait in line at the women's can. She protested squatted next to the porta pottie and opened the floodgates.icon_eek.gif