Poligamy for gay men

  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Mar 29, 2009 11:35 PM GMT
    What do you guys think about the concept of poligamy for gay men. You know, having more than one husband/lover. I dont mean a hidden relationship (that is cheating). Having 2 men (probably more) in you life, and they know of each other existence. Will you for instance be a third person in another people relationship? It is possible to be totally in love (not lust) with two or more guys and having a relationship with all of them.? I was once in this love triangle, but my ex bf decided that he love the other fellow more and leave me. But for awhile I was pretty comfortable with the arrangement. I dont feel any jealousy or rivalry feeling toward the other fellow. However its was the other guys who insist that my ex bf to choose and he decided he love him more.

    How about it guys...
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    Mar 29, 2009 11:52 PM GMT
    Well, when ever this perennial topic comes up here I like to talk about my good friends who are in a three person relationship.

    They own a house together, they have plans for the future together, they talk about how they could possibly have kids in the future. Of course, they have their fights and conflicting personalities. But they have been together nearly nine years and are really just like every other couple in every way except number.
  • metta

    Posts: 39167

    Mar 29, 2009 11:56 PM GMT
    I can't even find one. How the heck would I find two. icon_wink.gif


    Seriously, I think that it is possible that it could work but it would be much more difficult. It is hard enough making important day to day decisions that 2 adults agree with, not alone 3. i think that it would actually be easier for me than a lot of people because I don't really get jealous and I'm pretty easy going with most things, with the exception of picking out stuff for the house (I can't buy junk). It would be pretty funny to explain it to the neighbors. They had a hard enough time understanding how I could buy a home with my best friend.

    If something like that did happen to me, which I just can't see finding one, not alone two, there would have to be some agreements ahead of time: such as being honest with each other, no hookups, and I don't want any children. I would have to also be physically attracted to both of them and I would have to be able to respect/admire them for who they are as people. That is really not very easy.
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    Mar 30, 2009 12:27 AM GMT
    not my thing, but whatever makes them happy.

    Threesomes can be complicated enough, but to mix in 3 relationships, sounds tough to me.
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    Mar 30, 2009 12:46 AM GMT
    Well I have two long term husbands. Does not make us polygamists, as that is a man having more than one wife. I am a man, with two husbands.icon_biggrin.gif

    I love both my men dearly. Albeit they are very diffrent, just the fact one is an American, the other a Russian, and I an Aussie. We are all very diffrent.

    I am so loved and I cant say I love one of my husband more than the other as they are diffrent, and I love them for diffrent reasons,and they both see a diffrent side of me, even though I'm one.

    But think of all the homosexuals, and bi guys who are not able to maintain one long term relationship. let alone two! In fact my tenth anniversary with my second husband is only weeks away.

    Maybe more homosexual / bi relationships would last longer, instead of disposing of the old for the new, keep the old, and bring in a new.icon_eek.gif

    I have meet another, I would like to bring into the family. Now this time it is a bi guy, with a wife and young family. Now I will have too accept he is bi, and has a young family and a wife.. He will have to accept I already have two husbands. But I'm in no rush.
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    Mar 30, 2009 1:44 AM GMT
    Here's another thought: Can you imagine if we all called America home, and the American government announced: We will give homosexuals the right to marriage, only if all homosexual who have more than one husband stop this pratic.

    I for one would have no intentions of giving anyone up. So could you imagine what the gay left wing would do to us.

  • ShawnTX

    Posts: 2484

    Mar 30, 2009 2:05 AM GMT
    What people want to do in their own homes is their business. Congrats to them for finding loving partners and making it work.
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    Mar 30, 2009 2:06 AM GMT
    WHERE ARE THE GRAMMAR NAZIS?!?

    No one's noticed yet that it's spelled "polygamy".
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    Mar 30, 2009 2:37 AM GMT
    Nice catch Flex89. Good to know it's possible to have brains and brawn (and beauty). icon_smile.gif
  • ShawnTX

    Posts: 2484

    Mar 30, 2009 2:41 AM GMT
    I'm guessing English is not his first language, so it's ok to not point it out.
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    Mar 30, 2009 2:42 AM GMT
    Wouldn't that be the Spelling Nazis?

    Or is that the new Hogan's Heros series staring Tori Spelling?
  • Sebastian18

    Posts: 255

    Mar 30, 2009 2:47 AM GMT
    I'm pretty much for any relationship that works for the people involved as long as there's a steady line of communication and honesty. I know a number of straight couples in poly amorous relationships and it's worked out fairly well for them. Can't say I know many gay poly-folk though.

    Personally, I'm much more comfortable with 1:1 and the occasional 3-way, but if my future partner wanted to bring in a third, I don't see myself having too much of an issue with it as long as he and I were the primaries in the relationship.
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Mar 30, 2009 2:49 AM GMT
    I can't manage one person- much less two.

    /If someone else can multitask, who am I to complain?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 30, 2009 3:01 AM GMT
    zakariahzol saidWhat do you guys think about the concept of poligamy for gay men. You know, having more than one husband/lover. I dont mean a hidden relationship (that is cheating). Having 2 men (probably more) in you life, and they know of each other existence. Will you for instance be a third person in another people relationship? It is possible to be totally in love (not lust) with two or more guys and having a relationship with all of them.? I was once in this love triangle, but my ex bf decided that he love the other fellow more and leave me. But for awhile I was pretty comfortable with the arrangement. I dont feel any jealousy or rivalry feeling toward the other fellow. However its was the other guys who insist that my ex bf to choose and he decided he love him more.

    How about it guys...


    Why would gay men need to have 2 husbands when hooking up and open relationships are the norm amongst so many?
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    Mar 30, 2009 3:05 AM GMT
    flex89 saidWHERE ARE THE GRAMMAR NAZIS?!?

    No one's noticed yet that it's spelled "polygamy".


    icon_eek.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_biggrin.gif
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    Mar 30, 2009 3:08 AM GMT
    flex89 saidWHERE ARE THE GRAMMAR NAZIS?!?

    No one's noticed yet that it's spelled "polygamy".


    From another post ... it's just too good to not repost. Enjoy. icon_smile.gif


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    Mar 30, 2009 3:09 AM GMT
    Blackguy4you said
    zakariahzol saidWhat do you guys think about the concept of poligamy for gay men. You know, having more than one husband/lover. I dont mean a hidden relationship (that is cheating). Having 2 men (probably more) in you life, and they know of each other existence. Will you for instance be a third person in another people relationship? It is possible to be totally in love (not lust) with two or more guys and having a relationship with all of them.? I was once in this love triangle, but my ex bf decided that he love the other fellow more and leave me. But for awhile I was pretty comfortable with the arrangement. I dont feel any jealousy or rivalry feeling toward the other fellow. However its was the other guys who insist that my ex bf to choose and he decided he love him more.

    How about it guys...


    Why would gay men need to have 2 husbands when hooking up and open relationships are the norm amongst so many?


    The norm for some, yet not all. Difference between love and lust.
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    Mar 30, 2009 3:16 AM GMT
    I think Dan Savage said it best, and I'm paraphrasing here, when he explained, "I'll gladly fight for you to be able to marry two women after I can marry one man."
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    Mar 30, 2009 3:27 AM GMT
    BradySF saidI think Dan Savage said it best, and I'm paraphrasing here, when he explained, "I'll gladly fight for you to be able to marry two women after I can marry one man."


    But this is not about a man wanting or having more than one wife!

    It is about homosexuals who have more than one husband.

    If you fight for me to have my two husbands, then you automatically win the right to have your one.

    But if I fight for you to have your one. I will never get the right to have my 2+.
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    Mar 30, 2009 4:33 AM GMT
    I honestly don't have much of stance on this, unless we bring in the whole "God told me to, and they should be honored by my desire to wed them" crap. Otherwise, it's up to the people involved. For me however, one is enough drama and work...two would just be too much!
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    Mar 30, 2009 4:44 AM GMT
    I understand having two husbands easier than I get the idea of desiring to be single. It would be diffucult to equally love both, but at least you have someone and there is the intimacy and constancy of relationship.

    I would definitely give a 'tripod' relationship a try.

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    Mar 30, 2009 4:50 AM GMT
    pattison said
    BradySF saidI think Dan Savage said it best, and I'm paraphrasing here, when he explained, "I'll gladly fight for you to be able to marry two women after I can marry one man."


    But this is not about a man wanting or having more than one wife!

    It about a homosexuals have more than one husband.

    If you fight for me to have my two husbands, then you automatically win the right to have your one.

    But if I fight for you to have your one. I will never get the right to have my 2+.


    If you fight for the ability to marry one man that doesn't not mean you will "never" get the right to marry more than one man. It means you start somewhere and continue the struggle. International recognition of same sex marriage will be another battle.
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Mar 30, 2009 5:46 AM GMT
    Let's hear from a few Mormons!!!
  • junknemesis

    Posts: 682

    Mar 30, 2009 6:07 AM GMT
    flex89 saidWHERE ARE THE GRAMMAR NAZIS?!?

    No one's noticed yet that it's spelled "polygamy".


    I can haz them loked up in mah basement feedin dem to Basement Cat
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    Mar 30, 2009 6:15 AM GMT
    This sounds pretty much like an open relationship. Nothing new there.